Lads, it's the Premier League thread - EPL 2019/20

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Grant Hanley categorically not ready.

ShariVari, Friday, 9 August 2019 19:14 (one year ago) link

Norwich really don't deserve this

Number None, Friday, 9 August 2019 19:30 (one year ago) link

This is going to be one of the better performances by a team that loses 8-0 isn't it

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Friday, 9 August 2019 19:33 (one year ago) link

Hold on, Grant Hanley's playing in the Premiership?

Euripedes' Trousers (Tom D.), Friday, 9 August 2019 19:37 (one year ago) link

In a manner of speaking.

ShariVari, Friday, 9 August 2019 19:38 (one year ago) link

The own goal was pretty hilarious.

But there was a span of ten minutes when it was 2-0 where Liverpool should have conceded

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Friday, 9 August 2019 19:44 (one year ago) link

alisson ;_;

gbx, Friday, 9 August 2019 19:44 (one year ago) link

Plucky Pukki pulls one bakk.

Euripedes' Trousers (Tom D.), Friday, 9 August 2019 20:30 (one year ago) link

more footage of Delia Smith and Alan Hansen please. i wonder what theyre saying to each other

Windsor Davies, Friday, 9 August 2019 20:32 (one year ago) link

o rite

Hansen on Delia: “My wife and I met Delia and Michael through the Radio Times. The Radio Times used to take readers to New York and back on the QEII and that's where we first met, and we've all stayed in touch and we're really good friends.”

slightly more confused/intrigued than i was before

Windsor Davies, Friday, 9 August 2019 20:33 (one year ago) link

"you can't win anything with cooks"

Number None, Friday, 9 August 2019 20:33 (one year ago) link

Norwich manager looks like a bad guy from a Steven Segal movie

The World According To.... (Michael B), Friday, 9 August 2019 22:23 (one year ago) link

He's a mean looking dude, for sure.

Euripedes' Trousers (Tom D.), Friday, 9 August 2019 22:31 (one year ago) link

he looks a hardened Wehrmacht commander when he dons the full length leather jacket.

calzino, Friday, 9 August 2019 22:32 (one year ago) link

Norwich manager looks like a bad guy from a Steven Segal movie
so he looks like Steven Segal?

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 9 August 2019 22:40 (one year ago) link

Steven Segal isn't bad, he's ABOVE THE LAW

The World According To.... (Michael B), Friday, 9 August 2019 22:41 (one year ago) link

Has long enough passed that I can post this?

Norwich return to the Premier League. The Championship, like all good parents, will keep their room just as they left it for when they come back home next year.

— Danny Baker (@prodnose) April 27, 2019

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 9 August 2019 22:48 (one year ago) link

#bantz

They're pretty decent going forward. I think they've enough to stay up. Get fucked Danny Baker

The World According To.... (Michael B), Friday, 9 August 2019 23:34 (one year ago) link

Hi I’m a Crystal Palace supporter now.

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Saturday, 10 August 2019 01:28 (one year ago) link

Wolverhampton here

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 01:38 (one year ago) link

i just like a good game (match)

alomar lines, Saturday, 10 August 2019 03:01 (one year ago) link

Welcome all.

I’m not sure Norwich are much better equipped than Fulham to cope with the Premier League but it’ll be fun to see them try. Pukki and Leitner should score goals. I suppose it only requires Newcastle, Villa and Sheffield United to be worse.

ShariVari, Saturday, 10 August 2019 06:08 (one year ago) link

this whole ozil/kolasinac thing seems so weird to me. are they actually being threatened by an organised gang with regard to their testimony or something?

oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 08:56 (one year ago) link

Is there an ilx fantasy league?

help yourself to another slice of apple ... crumble (Willl), Saturday, 10 August 2019 09:04 (one year ago) link

there used to be but I dont think so anymore

or something, Saturday, 10 August 2019 09:59 (one year ago) link

better that way

imago, Saturday, 10 August 2019 10:59 (one year ago) link

i'd forgotten again that jack wilshere exists

oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 11:33 (one year ago) link

oh good, VAR is going to really improve the Prem this season

seven against feebs (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 10 August 2019 12:42 (one year ago) link

the use of it for razor-thin offsides is so wrong-headed

Number None, Saturday, 10 August 2019 12:51 (one year ago) link

yeah absolutely it isn't the existence of the tech i'm bitching about at this stage, but if they keep this shit up i'm gonna stop watching football

seven against feebs (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 10 August 2019 12:53 (one year ago) link

I see the league is going to be as competitive as ever.

Euripedes' Trousers (Tom D.), Saturday, 10 August 2019 13:35 (one year ago) link

Bournemouth finish about as well as my local team

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:14 (one year ago) link

man why wwas this the game they gave us here locally

Bournemouth look terrible

Sheffield, well, mama always said....

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:40 (one year ago) link

finally a goal

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 15:21 (one year ago) link

lol...Bournemouth gonna Bournemouth. give away the equalizer with 2 minutes left

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 15:46 (one year ago) link

silby your team got a draw....against a 10 man Everton....at home.

could be worse! a point is a point

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 15:54 (one year ago) link

Billy Sharp :D

seven against feebs (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:05 (one year ago) link

Grealish has got a bit of a Cathy Dennis thing going on here now, hmm

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:33 (one year ago) link

Didn't watch a ton of Spurs last season but thought Eric Died was as poor as Trippier, be interested to see if he lasts the season as a regular

Ooh good chance for lucas

oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:35 (one year ago) link

Eric died lol

Aston "Family Court" Barrett (Bananaman Begins), Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:35 (one year ago) link

Danny Rose might end up outlasting Poch.

oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:36 (one year ago) link

Lol not deliberate
Xp

oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:36 (one year ago) link

Grealish can't pull off that look like Patrick Berger could.

oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:38 (one year ago) link

Actually watched a snide broadcast of everton v palace in an everton pub... never felt in much danger of exposing myself with extravagant gloating goal celebrations.

Glass half full: we gritted out a point we didn't deserve

Half empty: we played shit and should have been stuffed and are definitely going down if that's the best we've got

Aston "Family Court" Barrett (Bananaman Begins), Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:39 (one year ago) link

wanna hear darragh on that goal

oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:39 (one year ago) link

Lol, starting like we ended last season.

ShariVari, Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:39 (one year ago) link

One punt down the middle

oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:39 (one year ago) link

Sweet pass, way too easy. Spurs will still win I think but hella shakey at the back.

oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:51 (one year ago) link

disgrace

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:51 (one year ago) link

poor Eddie

Anti-Cop Ponceortium (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 2 August 2020 10:23 (five months ago) link

I was thinking it was weird to see two relegated managers keep their jobs but I'd always thought Eddie Howe would stay. I dunno, could be a Charlton type tailspin in the offing unless they have a really good idea of who to replace him with.

Matt DC, Sunday, 2 August 2020 10:31 (five months ago) link

unlike us they're fucken minted russia-style

imago, Sunday, 2 August 2020 10:36 (five months ago) link

overrated as fuck imo, he took them down with a bigger wage bill than Villa, Wolves, Brighton, Newcastle Utd, Sheff Utd, that isn't any kind of achievement to put on your cv!

calzino, Sunday, 2 August 2020 10:42 (five months ago) link

don't know who oversees the transfers at Bournemouth but Solanke was a hell of a decision

À la recherche du scamps perdu (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 2 August 2020 11:14 (five months ago) link

I hear that Howe is being lined up for the Liverpool job.

krankymusic (cajunsunday), Sunday, 2 August 2020 11:16 (five months ago) link

Ticket collector on the Mersey ferry?

Sonny Shamrock (Tom D.), Sunday, 2 August 2020 11:18 (five months ago) link

Yes. Just a rumour at the moment but my sources are pretty reliable.

krankymusic (cajunsunday), Sunday, 2 August 2020 11:23 (five months ago) link

Inter Milan won’t pay any fee to Manchester United for Alexis Sanchez. He will sign a three-years contract with the Italian side: done deal. @DiMarzio #MUFC

— Francesco Porzio (@fraporzio95) August 3, 2020

deal of the century imo

Number None, Monday, 3 August 2020 19:06 (five months ago) link

If ManU don't immediately shell out the same insane salary for Sancho, that is.

Scampidocio (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 3 August 2020 19:22 (five months ago) link

it'll pay for a few instalments of the transfer free for sure

Number None, Monday, 3 August 2020 19:25 (five months ago) link

BVB-Star liegt United-Vertrag mit XXL-Gehalt vor! https://www.bild.de/bild-plus/sport/fussball/fussball/bvb-jadon-sancho-mit-manchester-united-einig-72211096,view=conversionToLogin.bild.html

According to Bild he'll be earning £ 300.000 a week.

Scampidocio (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 4 August 2020 14:11 (five months ago) link

Pierre-Emile Højbjerg to Tottenham is now one step away to become a done deal. Personal terms agreed and last details between clubs then it’ll be completed. €17M to Southampton.

Inter still in talks with Spurs for Ndombele - but the agreement is not even close yet ⚪️ #THFC https://t.co/vUs0qviRJ8

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) August 4, 2020

Number None, Tuesday, 4 August 2020 18:28 (five months ago) link

An honest to god defensive midfielder, not a repurposed CB or box-to-box player, I never thought this day would come. With the exception of one season's worth of Wanyama it was a problem position for basically the entire Poch era. Might give Ndombele a platform to play properly, assuming we keep him.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 5 August 2020 19:09 (five months ago) link

Fulham and West Brom back in the prem pic.twitter.com/uWQQrNOocU

— Billie (@Billie_T) August 4, 2020

calzino, Thursday, 6 August 2020 00:42 (five months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Man United captain Harry Maguire was detained for questioning on the Greek island of Mykonos for assaulting officers after a brawl, Greek state TV ERT said: https://t.co/aWvfXTm2eD pic.twitter.com/pKvHz4wYOx

— ESPN FC (@ESPNFC) August 21, 2020

chonky floof (groovypanda), Friday, 21 August 2020 10:46 (five months ago) link

Kai Havertz to Chelsea, one step away and then... here we go! Total agreement to be reached on nest hours with Bayer Leverkusen. Last bid is going to be accepted. €80M + €20M add ons as final fee. Last details and paperworks time. 🔵 #CFC #Havertz #Chelsea

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) August 24, 2020

Chelsea aren't fucking about

Number None, Monday, 24 August 2020 11:18 (five months ago) link

if we can get Maitland-Niles that will be a smart signing

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 August 2020 15:09 (five months ago) link

Feels so weird that we are weeks away from a new season

muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Monday, 24 August 2020 15:23 (five months ago) link

i know, and i'm not sure restarting to empty stadiums is gonna improve the quality any

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 August 2020 15:24 (five months ago) link

Community Shield is on Saturday!

Number None, Monday, 24 August 2020 15:27 (five months ago) link

no way :O

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 August 2020 15:31 (five months ago) link

i was waiting for September to start a new Prem thread, nobody really cares about the Community Shield anyway i guess

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 August 2020 15:33 (five months ago) link

I need sport of some kind, cos otherwise my weekends are dire.

My boys in Orlando just signed a Watford player lolol

muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Monday, 24 August 2020 15:58 (five months ago) link

i know, i miss the football when it's not here

don't recognise the Watford lad, not sure he ever played for them in the Prem

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 August 2020 16:02 (five months ago) link

He didn't, think he was on loan in second div

muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Monday, 24 August 2020 16:03 (five months ago) link

Which means in our pathetic league he'll probably start

muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Monday, 24 August 2020 16:03 (five months ago) link

Idly wondering how many players actively prefer it without any fans there. They're unlikely to be back for basically the entire season as far as I can tell.

Matt DC, Monday, 24 August 2020 16:04 (five months ago) link

Some of them are probably used to crowd silence. I'm sure Fulham will have warm memories of it this year

muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Monday, 24 August 2020 16:08 (five months ago) link

it probably works for some players but the quality and the intensity is reduced i think because psychologically it must be so different. i think there'll be spectators in before Christmas, but socially distanced to the extent it'll still be weird, and whether that experiment survives whatever spike we've got to look forward to god knows

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 August 2020 16:11 (five months ago) link

It's not even how it looks on TV, I'm fine with that, but the socially distanced match day, without the usual rituals around that, it just feels like a joyless proposition.

Matt DC, Monday, 24 August 2020 17:23 (five months ago) link

I'm really missing the dialogue between the players and a stadium of fans. Even the champions League final felt halfway like a friendly.

closed beta (NotEnough), Monday, 24 August 2020 21:37 (five months ago) link

MLS is opening up games to small handfuls of fans, and this could be humorous. Just remembering pre-pandemic, a few years ago when a bunch of douches were harassing Tim Howard at a Colorado match and he loudly told them "go fuck your mother".

muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Monday, 24 August 2020 22:05 (five months ago) link

Harry Maguire found GUILTY of aggravated assault, resisting arrest, and repeated attempts of bribery.

— Martha Kelner (@marthakelner) August 25, 2020

Number None, Tuesday, 25 August 2020 16:29 (four months ago) link

lol that didn't take long

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 August 2020 16:31 (four months ago) link

Andy Carroll with a timely reminder that he is the greatest striker England has ever produced pic.twitter.com/ZVslHlTBq8

— FootballJOE (@FootballJOE) August 25, 2020

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 August 2020 16:36 (four months ago) link

“Do you know who I am? I am very rich, I can give you money,”

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Tuesday, 25 August 2020 16:41 (four months ago) link

“I am the leader of Manchester United”

crisp, Tuesday, 25 August 2020 16:43 (four months ago) link

already enjoying the commentary from experts on the Greek legal system on Twitter

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 August 2020 16:43 (four months ago) link

lol also Phil Jones trending

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 August 2020 16:53 (four months ago) link

lol also Phil Jones trending

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 August 2020 16:53 (four months ago) link

So looks like Messi is going to City then :|

Number None, Wednesday, 26 August 2020 06:36 (four months ago) link

Shame Stoke are in the Championship

Monte Scampino (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 26 August 2020 09:43 (four months ago) link

wet Tuesday nights will be available in Burnley, Leeds, Salford

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 26 August 2020 09:48 (four months ago) link

quite a lot of online Wolves fans throwing a fit about Doherty to Spurs, personally i have faith in the owners and Nuno tho the money quoted seems low, even in the mystery market of covidball. still i think this could be one of those deals where it works for everybody.

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 27 August 2020 11:28 (four months ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ega1xbtWoAARcFz?format=jpg&name=large

Young Doherty, circled

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 27 August 2020 12:13 (four months ago) link

Pogba's got the 'rona

As do six Chelsea players apparently

Number None, Thursday, 27 August 2020 13:32 (four months ago) link

No EPL thread should be open for 13 months.

Matt DC, Monday, 7 September 2020 12:43 (four months ago) link


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