things you once thought socially acceptable which now horrify you to remember

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Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:32 (three months ago) link

Everything.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:32 (three months ago) link

White male hegemony, didn't even give it a second thought when I was four.

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:38 (three months ago) link

Calling people fags, homos, etc. Playing "smear the queer". I'm not around that many kids now, but thankfully I never hear young people do this.

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:44 (three months ago) link

hoo boy.

i have "almost" answers to this due to how much stuff was socially acceptable (and still is to some extent) in west central scotland growing up, but i was generally at least a bit uncomfortable with all of it

bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:44 (three months ago) link

the main thing would be homophobia. calling people poofs and saying stuff was bent was just completed "normal" during my school days and while i was opposed to homophobia from an intellectual pov - didn't see why anyone's rights should be abrogated due to harmless proclivities - i didn't connect that with constant level of ambient homophobia around me being a bad thing

bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:47 (three months ago) link

I kinda feel like this experience is universal for any person who demonstrates growth. Like, if your answer to the question is 'nothing' you were either born a saint or you might be an actual monster rn.

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:48 (three months ago) link

I remember a certain popular webcomic that tried to coin the word "ghey" because they wanted to use "gay" as a pejorative without triggering any backlash

frogbs, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:59 (three months ago) link

also related, the blatant semi-ironic anti-Semitism derived pretty much exclusively from Eric Cartman

frogbs, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:59 (three months ago) link

i didn't connect that with constant level of ambient homophobia around me being a bad thing

yeah, this - thinking back on all the 'gay panic' jokes in 80s & 90s TV & movies that i never thought twice about is astonishing.

One Eye Open, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 19:00 (three months ago) link

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective being a pretty notable example

frogbs, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 19:02 (three months ago) link

I guess the problem I have with this question is determining the threshold of "socially acceptable". Does that mean 'nearly universally accepted as the norm' or just 'practiced by a substantial number of people without serious social repercussions beyond being thought rather boorish or ignorant'?

Because if we're using the first definition, social mores were already shifting substantially by about 1980 so that racism, xenophobia, sexism, ageism, and mockery of the disabled were not 'nearly universally' considered the norm, whereas if we're using the second definition "socially acceptable" would still include most of that behavior.

A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 19:51 (three months ago) link

8. dropping a lit cigarette onto a carpet and grinding it out with my heel. i did this at a party once, fully aware of what i was doing. it was crowded. i still think about that. what the fuck?

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 11 July 2019 23:26 (three months ago) link

9. just not doing my own dishes for months. oh they got done. my housemate did them. again. what the fuck. yes i was young but i was supposedly a grown-ass man.

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 11 July 2019 23:27 (three months ago) link

Internalized misogyny :(

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 12 July 2019 00:13 (three months ago) link

xp those are some good ones tracer, lol

cheese canopy (map), Friday, 12 July 2019 00:38 (three months ago) link

10. making chummy comments to strangers you like on internet message boards

cheese canopy (map), Friday, 12 July 2019 00:39 (three months ago) link

11. making nasty comments to strangers you don't like on internet message boards

cheese canopy (map), Friday, 12 July 2019 00:40 (three months ago) link

12. The smoking lounges at the teen dance clubs <—- plural! that I went to as a preteen and teen

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 12 July 2019 00:43 (three months ago) link

My high school had a smoking area. The school actually put up a set of bleachers so kids could sit in relative comfort and smoke between classes.

shared unit of analysis (unperson), Friday, 12 July 2019 01:04 (three months ago) link

i was cursed by god to do stupid moron things all the time so i'm feeling this thread

Vape Store (crüt), Friday, 12 July 2019 01:17 (three months ago) link

I mean, I grew up in Alabama and spent time in the military. I’m proud of how much shit I could write in this thread (but won’t).

El Tomboto, Friday, 12 July 2019 01:25 (three months ago) link

13. Not picking up after the dog.

visiting, Friday, 12 July 2019 01:58 (three months ago) link

Calling people fags, homos, etc

This. Similarly, calling people retards/retarded.

Internalized misogyny :(

and this, of course. feel like it took me way too long to get past the whole "I'm not like other girls" bullshit.

Roz, Friday, 12 July 2019 02:46 (three months ago) link

If by "society" one means one's high school classmates, then we'll see a lot more regrettable and immature behavior tagged as 'used to be socially acceptable' than if we broaden that scope a bit.

A is for (Aimless), Friday, 12 July 2019 04:03 (three months ago) link

the truest society there is

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 12 July 2019 08:23 (three months ago) link

If by "society" one means one's high school classmates, then we'll see a lot more regrettable and immature behavior tagged as 'used to be socially acceptable' than if we broaden that scope a bit.

― A is for (Aimless)

i didn't talk to my high school classmates, most of the formerly "acceptable" things that now horrify me happened on usenet

Un Poco Loco Moco (rushomancy), Friday, 12 July 2019 14:07 (three months ago) link

the decline of public smoking has been impressive

mookieproof, Friday, 12 July 2019 15:15 (three months ago) link

the Confederate battle flag

Brad C., Friday, 12 July 2019 15:27 (three months ago) link

it was flown all over the place in 1960s-80s Alabama and Georgia, often in official or quasi-official settings, and I don't think it dawned on me why that was wrong until I was 25 or so

Brad C., Friday, 12 July 2019 16:03 (three months ago) link

I had a dukes of hazzard big wheel which had the confed flag all over it! Nobody thought anything of it, even being in Illinois.

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 12 July 2019 16:06 (three months ago) link

Nobody thought anything of it

Oh, I'm sure there were a few. Let's ask around.

A is for (Aimless), Friday, 12 July 2019 18:13 (three months ago) link

Well sure now I do wonder what the parents of my black best friend and black "girlfriend" thought of it. I should ask my mom what she thought of it too.

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 12 July 2019 18:19 (three months ago) link

Confederate flags appeared on album covers without much incident (Give Out But Don’t Give Up, Will the Circle Be Unbroken?)

Mr. Snrub, Friday, 12 July 2019 21:48 (three months ago) link

Give Out But Don't Give Up sold 7 copies outside of the UK tbf

jou're much too jung, girl (Noodle Vague), Friday, 12 July 2019 21:51 (three months ago) link

I know what you mean but don't think either of those albums are good examples of the phenomenon - one being a William Eggleston photo on an album by a British band that's fairly obscure in the US, and the other being a cover which features both the stars n stripes *and* the stars and bars, on either side of a Civil War Union general (I've never been able to figure out exactly who that is - it's not Grant, Sherman, Custer, Burnside, or McClellan)

Οὖτις, Friday, 12 July 2019 21:55 (three months ago) link

xp

Οὖτις, Friday, 12 July 2019 21:55 (three months ago) link

Lynyrd Skynyrd, Alabama, etc. might be better examples

Οὖτις, Friday, 12 July 2019 21:58 (three months ago) link

the decline of public smoking has been impressive

yeah I remember being kinda upset at the bar smoking ban at the time...I don't smoke, but it just felt kinda wrong...nowadays I'd be pretty pissed if someone lit up near me

frogbs, Friday, 12 July 2019 22:03 (three months ago) link

what if someone vaped near you

Οὖτις, Friday, 12 July 2019 22:07 (three months ago) link

oh that I don't care about

its not so much the smoke itself that bothers me from the cigarette but rather the fact that you have to change clothes and take a shower after

frogbs, Friday, 12 July 2019 22:16 (three months ago) link

i love smoking cigarettes but i am very glad you can't smoke inside bars and it seems insane that was a thing so recently (where I'm from). i do however like being in jurisdictions where smoking inside is banned, but you can still have a smoke on a bar's patio/terrasse

bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Friday, 12 July 2019 22:22 (three months ago) link

some of the "flavored" vape exhaust is nauseously pungent
think everyone p much agrees that smoking a cig looks kinda cool. but seeing people constantly sucking on a lil plastic box or w/e...p dorky looking.

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 12 July 2019 22:25 (three months ago) link

that smoking on airplanes ever was allowed is a major wtf

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 12 July 2019 22:26 (three months ago) link

I have personally smoked a cigarette on an airplane. NB: I have not smoked cigarettes for 35 years.

A is for (Aimless), Friday, 12 July 2019 22:47 (three months ago) link

I watched a few episodes of Cheers recently the fact that you could build an 11 season sitcom on Sexual Harrasment is pretty WTF.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Friday, 12 July 2019 22:52 (three months ago) link

nah that's not what's happening in that show most of the time

honestly the most offensive thing in it is the "cigar store indian" in the background of nearly every scene

Οὖτις, Friday, 12 July 2019 23:00 (three months ago) link

the Confederate battle flag

I watched an episode of The Adventures of Pete and Pete where the younger Pete forms a band, and their ten year old drummer was wearing a Confederate flag bandanna. Definitely seemed odd now how unremarkable it was.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/9f16d3237b7c3737d68a6042083b4ac6/tumblr_mq0dj5m4Bu1r1e98bo1_1280.png

blatherskite, Friday, 12 July 2019 23:06 (three months ago) link

its not so much the smoke sex itself that bothers me from the cigarette but rather the fact that you have to change clothes and take a shower after

― frogbs, Friday, 12 July 2019 22:16 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

fixed for catholic

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Friday, 12 July 2019 23:29 (three months ago) link

I've heard that said about Cheers by someone else and idrgi, although I don't really know the later seasons. What makes the Sam/Diane relationship closer to harassment than the relationships on Parks and Recreation or the The Office (US)?

All along there is the sound of feedback (Sund4r), Saturday, 13 July 2019 01:05 (three months ago) link

david otm

untuned mass damper (mh), Wednesday, 24 July 2019 16:29 (two months ago) link

I stop in DSW pretty regularly. It's definitely insane. But I've never had anyone call me a "shoe lover".

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 24 July 2019 16:38 (two months ago) link

thought we were beyond that as a society

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 24 July 2019 16:45 (two months ago) link

Don't kinkshame

Fuck Trump, cops, and the CBP (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 24 July 2019 17:04 (two months ago) link

We were in the Whole Foods off Columbus Circle yesterday and I was listening out for "Following Guest" but didn't hear it - but I also didn't understand a single thing about what the queuing system was, there seemed to be three lanes feeding into the same set of checkout machines, and when we haltingly took one we overheard something that we're paranoid was people complaining about us skipping the line in some way.

(Things you fear are socially acceptable but still horrify you)

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 30 July 2019 02:04 (two months ago) link

Nothing about waiting in line at WF is socially acceptable, everyone is horrified

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 30 July 2019 03:08 (two months ago) link

xp do they have self-checkouts or were they regular staffed ones? this sounds odd and like I might screw it up. normal in my area is each staffed checkout has a line, self checkouts are relatively new but typically have one line for the whole area and first in line takes whichever frees up next

I’ve never heard anyone call for a customer at a grocery checkout unless it’s a register that just opened and no one’s noticed

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 03:20 (two months ago) link

These are staffed express checkouts, multiple lines, with screens telling each group which checkout stall to go to. They just got them here too.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 30 July 2019 03:23 (two months ago) link

well, that’s new

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 03:24 (two months ago) link

Sounds like the DMV, except the express part

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 03:27 (two months ago) link

omg lol yes now that WF has been bought by Amazon they can adopt disruptive innovations from the DMV and the passport office

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 30 July 2019 03:35 (two months ago) link

willing to bet "twitter" is gonna be all over this list in ten years or less

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 03:38 (two months ago) link

"Twitter"?

pplains, Tuesday, 30 July 2019 12:57 (two months ago) link

I have anxiety about the WF line too. All the ny stores are set up crazy. I hate going there.

I look forward to more of this "following guest" reconnaissance.

Yerac, Tuesday, 30 July 2019 13:00 (two months ago) link

My wife has pointed out that she got Following Guested at a Duane Reade before that - we are in Boston now and going to another DR - will report back about whether this infection has been retained.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 30 July 2019 14:09 (two months ago) link

excellent reportage

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 14:13 (two months ago) link

We went to CVS instead and it was 11.00 on a Tuesday so it was just us and some ghosts, reportage ends.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 02:07 (two months ago) link

there’s a duane reade in boston?????

maura, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:00 (two months ago) link

t/s: following guest vs following ghost

another no-holds-barred Tokey Wedge adventure for men (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:09 (two months ago) link

following Geist

pomenitul, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:19 (two months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/4mQqZct.png

pplains, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 13:25 (two months ago) link

No, no Duane Reade, I looked for pharmacy and assumed one of them would be.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 14:45 (two months ago) link

one month passes...

Watched 1st half of Eddie Murphy's 'Delirious' recently and immediately thought of this thread. The combo of his homophobic "jokes" and the audience guffawing seriously made me nauseous.

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, 5 September 2019 22:44 (one month ago) link

I was just thinking of how all of us enlightened 40+ year-olds could probably still do the whole Honeymooners routine from memory.

pplains, Friday, 6 September 2019 01:19 (one month ago) link

US pop culture had already hammered the existence of The Honeymooners into me, but I saw three minutes of it on a family trip to America when I was 11, and that’s still all. Didn’t it run for a few decades, on and off? Is it the “bang zoom to the moon” domestic violence thing that’s a “routine” that never changed?

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Friday, 6 September 2019 02:18 (one month ago) link

i don't really want to go on record as defending the honeymooners, but there is *never* any doubt that alice is utterly in charge

mookieproof, Friday, 6 September 2019 02:26 (one month ago) link

otm

Josefa, Friday, 6 September 2019 03:03 (one month ago) link

it still runs here and there on local late night, and they never stopped doing the New Year's Eve marathons in NY

Nhex, Friday, 6 September 2019 03:07 (one month ago) link

speaking of something that aged poorly, i just caught the ending of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective on cable and hollllly shit that comes super hateful now

Nhex, Friday, 6 September 2019 03:08 (one month ago) link

it did at the time. Naked Gun 33.3 too.

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Friday, 6 September 2019 03:32 (one month ago) link

The freshman hazing scenes in Dazed and Confused wouldn’t stand a chance today

calstars, Friday, 6 September 2019 03:37 (one month ago) link

Really? Even when it was a new movie, the whole point of those scenes and much of the rest of the film was that this was how people acted in the distant past, and it was clearly no longer acceptable.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 6 September 2019 11:08 (one month ago) link

I was talking about the Eddie Murphy "Norton? I've been lookin' at you... lookin'' at me..." routine.

pplains, Friday, 6 September 2019 11:54 (one month ago) link

the "homina homina homina" bit is still funny

brigadier pudding (DJP), Friday, 6 September 2019 13:02 (one month ago) link

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TuhSV-PCtyQ

maura, Friday, 6 September 2019 13:53 (one month ago) link

*someone does or says something slightly unusual*

"are you on crack"

flappy bird, Thursday, 12 September 2019 16:30 (one month ago) link

wait thats out now?

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Thursday, 12 September 2019 16:44 (one month ago) link

speaking of something that aged poorly, i just caught the ending of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective on cable and hollllly shit that comes super hateful now

yeah I recently rewatched it and it goes from "this is actually still really funny" to "wow that comes off poorly" really quickly. I would guess there's a whole host of 80's/90's films that in retrospect were super homo/transphobic

Revenge of the Nerds is also a pretty egregious example...no gay panic but there's a scene that's basically straight up rape which ultimately becomes the hero's triumph. its gross.

frogbs, Thursday, 12 September 2019 16:54 (one month ago) link

lol "basically" is unnecessary hedging

brigadier pudding (DJP), Thursday, 12 September 2019 16:57 (one month ago) link

there's a much more recent film which has a similar scene played similarly but i can't for the life of me remember what it is

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 12 September 2019 16:58 (one month ago) link

The Boat That Rocked?

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:06 (one month ago) link

Observe and Report?

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:08 (one month ago) link

*someone does or says something slightly unusual*

"are you on crack"

― flappy bird, Thursday, September 12, 2019 11:30 AM bookmarkflaglink

Someone posted a newspaper article (taken from a cellphone, obv.) on my NextDoor group about two people who had been arrested for smoking meth in a crawlspace. Her comment was "Freakin' crackheads!"

I mean, not to split hairs or anything, but "meth head" is part of the national vernacular now, but also, there's way too much racism bounded up in the word "crackhead" for it to ever be used, especially by Gladys Kriavitz of the Oak Meadow neighborhood group.

pplains, Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:37 (one month ago) link

Observe and Report is the opposite

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Thursday, 12 September 2019 18:51 (one month ago) link

The Boat That Rocked?

― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, September 12, 2019 10:06 AM (one hour ago)

yes, that's it! and i think i read about it on ilx a month ago haha

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 12 September 2019 18:58 (one month ago) link

I would guess there's a whole host of 80's/90's films that in retrospect were super homo/transphobic
― frogbs, Thursday, 12 September 2019 16:54 (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

00's too. I watched the hangover for the first time recently and hoo boy...

prorogue mahone (||||||||), Thursday, 12 September 2019 19:24 (one month ago) link

https://images.app.goo.gl/yS7v7rpDfSmCgU1K6

calstars, Friday, 13 September 2019 13:00 (one month ago) link

speaking of something that aged poorly, i just caught the ending of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective on cable and hollllly shit that comes super hateful now

― Nhex

man why the fuck are they even showing that on cable, that movie is the fucking poster child for transphobia. did they have "all this and rabbit stew" as the short subject beforehand?

sock fingering, baby (rushomancy), Friday, 13 September 2019 13:20 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

More details about you guys.

https://time.com/5688255/you-guys/

Yerac, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:07 (fifty-two minutes ago) link

i'm into "y'inz"

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:37 (twenty-two minutes ago) link


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