he always strikes me as an intelligent guy who lives dumb because he's lazy and luckily works in a career where people are dressing you and making sure you don't burn your rented apartment down
― mh, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 17:20 (four years ago) link
that is to say, I begrudge him the help and relate to the rest
this is v good, I will treasure this tale for all time
― silby, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 17:26 (four years ago) link
meanwhile everyone else is told they're going to hell if they use the wrong amount of garlic or are on whichever side of the "do you wash your chicken" discourse is the satan side toay
― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 17:53 (four years ago) link
that is one way of not looking at it.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 17:58 (four years ago) link
He's trolling with the whole pasta set piece/spectacle, right?
― change display name (Jordan), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:00 (four years ago) link
i entrust in every ilxor the power to go forth and use however much or little garlic you please
― trapped out the barndo (crüt), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:00 (four years ago) link
like all masterful trolls, no one can really tell for sure
― mh, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:01 (four years ago) link
God I love him so much
― Roz, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:01 (four years ago) link
That's only because lex doesn't post here anymore, so we don't have to worry about him trying to make pasta again.
― MarkoP, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:03 (four years ago) link
the world’s a mess, it’s in his kitchen
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:04 (four years ago) link
it's the only possible way of looking at it when anybody else who posted they did even one of these things while cooking, if their post was unlucky enough to be found or if they were a Designated Bad Person, would be mocked by thousands of people, but for some reason it's ok when robert pattinson does it
― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:05 (four years ago) link
i think lex would view this anecdote as confirmation that kitchens are terrifying and dangerous
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:06 (four years ago) link
like there are entire twitter accounts/instagrams/etc. devoted to making fun of people's unacceptable "struggle plate" meals that they had the gall to photograph or think were ok
― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:07 (four years ago) link
i think even rich person robert pattinson would not intentionally blow up a microwave in his own house during a pandemic for an anecdote but maybe i'm a rube
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:11 (four years ago) link
it isn't about whether it's intentional, it's about whether they fell short at all
― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:14 (four years ago) link
yeah, i diggit; was referring to if this was trolling or not as opposed to "is it fair that celebrity gets away with thing that average person can't"
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:19 (four years ago) link
tbh I see that type of thing sometimes and either unfollow or laugh at, for example, a racist british guy complaining about foreign meals smelling bad when he's made beans on toast with a single boiled vegetable on the side
the people acting like lex was the worst person for not attempting to learn cooking skills was a weird dogpile and I always assumed half the people were putting him on. his thoughts on cooking were as obtuse and brash as his other opinions and it seemed like an easy thing to pretend there's an objective right way to eat, compared to the complexity of takes on music
― mh, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:20 (four years ago) link
being an adult who can't cook whatsoever is quite clownable. makes more sense in pattinson's case - rich kid who became a star young, has never had to prepare his own food
― COVID and the Gang (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:24 (four years ago) link
he should post on the neuvo cuisine thread or write a cookbook with strongo
― mh, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:29 (four years ago) link
iirc lex is cooking now
― ℺ ☽ ⋠ ⏎ (✖), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:46 (four years ago) link
I wasn't even referring to that, just The Discourse in general, it seems like every day a new absolute rule is imposed
― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:47 (four years ago) link
scolds be scoldin'
― mh, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:50 (four years ago) link
Are people reading this and NOT laughing at Robert Pattison blowing up his kitchen in an attempt to find venture funding?
― DJP, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:50 (four years ago) link
(let alone the idea being "let's slop some sugary pasta into a panini, that sounds good")
― DJP, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:51 (four years ago) link
wait until you get to the part in the rest of the interview where the meal he actually eats is just dumping tabasco sauce in a can of tuna
― mh, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 18:51 (four years ago) link
i approve of the tabasco on tuna and the sheer will to find a portable pasta.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 19:01 (four years ago) link
when I read it my main reaction was to be confused and a little sad because I don't understand the rules and they seem to change so readily while still being inviolable at every change
― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 19:05 (four years ago) link
tabunasco pasta is the wave of the future
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 19:11 (four years ago) link
i like canned tuna in pasta as well as hot sauce in pasta. so this all checks out.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 19:18 (four years ago) link
pasta is space food
― mh, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 19:23 (four years ago) link
― DJP, Tuesday, May 12, 2020 2:51 PM (forty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
there was a new place around here that was trying to set itself up as the chipotle of italian food so they advertised pasta burritos, just a pile of pasta inside a thin flatbread wrap. it was supposed to be their signature thing. i went opening week and ordered one and the server looked at me like i asked to lick the dirt off the floor. a month later they rebranded as "healthy" italian fast casual with like zoodles and kale salad and shit
― ℺ ☽ ⋠ ⏎ (✖), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 19:41 (four years ago) link
I sympathize with the server in that story.
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 19:47 (four years ago) link
they tried to make ramen burritos a thing at one point.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 19:49 (four years ago) link
"they"
I've had rice noodles inside an "asian-style teriyaki wrap" at a workplace cafeteria but there weren't a lot of them
food abomination that was edible until whoever was prepping them stopped looking at the ingredients list and kept adding tomatoes in
― mh, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 20:05 (four years ago) link
ramen burgers are fucking scary imo
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 20:21 (four years ago) link
i can’t fully comprehend what he was trying to makewhat was all the sugar for?breadcrumbs/cornflakes on bottom, but no bread on the bottom?pasta wrapped in cheesemore sugar?hamburger bun on toplike... my 3yo’s niece’s make believe meals she made from what she found in the backyard had more internal logic than this LOL
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 20:40 (four years ago) link
he was punking himself? seems like a possibility. when the microwave explodes, he's described as "giggling".
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 20:45 (four years ago) link
I'm guessing he was high
― DJP, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 20:46 (four years ago) link
it would seem so
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 20:59 (four years ago) link
That reminds me of a tabloid thing I saw about RP and Kristen Stewart (back when they were together) about how all their spare time off the Twilight sets was spent having sex and smoking weed.
― "...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 21:43 (four years ago) link
how are you supposed to spend your early 20s, really
― mh, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 22:03 (four years ago) link
This thread from a friend of a friend on Twitter is great:
i was in a youth theatre group with robert pattinson, and can i just say - yes— old man bangers (@FindusPancake) May 12, 2020
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 22:29 (four years ago) link
Last year I went to a place that called itself a 'concept meatball restaurant. It was so earnest that I almost feel bad making fun of it. Basically, you'd pick six kinds of meatballs and six sauces (there were recommended pairings, but they weren't required) and ten minutes later a matronly lady would bring them out to you IN PORCELAIN EGG CARTONS with the meatballs on one side, and the sauces on the other. Some of them had clearly been defrosted in a microwave, and they were molten on the exterior but icy in the middle and that's Robert Pattinson for you.
― rb (soda), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 22:36 (four years ago) link
some ilxor worked on a movie with him. I don't feel like searching.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 22:38 (four years ago) link
I was at that High Life screening with him and Claire Denis doing Q&A and the exit was at the back of the theater and she was kind of half saying "oh no please stay seated!" as she hurriedly shuffled out. I was thinking, ma'am, I think you're not the one the younger ladies in the front row want to lunge at
― mh, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 23:41 (four years ago) link
I'm guessing he was high― DJP, Tuesday, May 12, 2020
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 23:58 (four years ago) link
I knew this would happen. https://thetakeout.com/robert-pattinson-pasta-recipe-gq-magazine-1843422757
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 13 May 2020 02:10 (four years ago) link
^^lol the photos really underscore the sadness/madness of his recipe.
Apparently he's 34 today - happy birthday to this ridiculous weirdo.
― Roz, Wednesday, 13 May 2020 06:53 (four years ago) link