"before turning the crossbow on herself"

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

Detectives investigating deaths of 3 people in hotel room in Passau say they died from crossbow shots & appear to have agreed to kill one another. Preliminary post mortem suggests 30yr woman shot 53yr man & 33yr woman ( died hand in hand ) before turning crossbow on herself

— jenny hill (@jennyhillBBC) May 14, 2019

"the spokesman said there was no competitive jousting in Germany at present": https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-48265096

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 09:54 (one week ago) Permalink

police are questioning midsomer murders bot

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 09:59 (one week ago) Permalink

how quickly could you die from a crossbow bolt like

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 10:24 (one week ago) Permalink

do aha tell

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 10:24 (one week ago) Permalink

how many more times does this have to happen before the germans accept crossbow reform?

FernandoHierro, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 10:26 (one week ago) Permalink

certainly they need to at least look at automatic crossbows

Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 10:32 (one week ago) Permalink

https://youtu.be/Veszrg1TErk?t=24

crossbow duelling, earlier today

Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 10:36 (one week ago) Permalink

googling images of crossbows in order to work out the mechanics of how the suicide might have happened has led me to find a pistol crossbow on sale for just £49.95 including three bolts

i guess this is it lads i’m a crossbow man now

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 10:41 (one week ago) Permalink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C81QTQwW0AEgfBM.jpg

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 10:43 (one week ago) Permalink

A man who suffered "horrendous injuries" when he was shot with a crossbow has died in hospital.

Gerald Corrigan, 74, was struck outside his home on South Stack Road, Holyhead, on 19 April at 00:30 BST.

North Wales Police have now confirmed Mr Corrigan died, nearly a month after he was injured.

The force previously urged the crossbow shooter to come forward and said its investigation into the attack was continuing.

Mr Corrigan had been trying to fix a satellite dish on his home when he was hit with the bolt through his upper body and right arm, police said.

they haven't been this hot since the 12th century

Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 10:44 (one week ago) Permalink

hot cross bows

FernandoHierro, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 14:49 (one week ago) Permalink

this guy gets it:
https://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/crossbow_crimes

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 14:57 (one week ago) Permalink

macduff investigating a mysterious double murder

FernandoHierro, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 14:58 (one week ago) Permalink

I've had a shotgun pointed at me once during an armed bookies robbery and it was the closest I've ever been to actually shitting myself. But I reckon if the robber had pointed a crossbow at me I'd have fucking delivered it!

calzino, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 15:13 (one week ago) Permalink

xps

perhaps the coroner might have re-open the Rod Hull inquest.

calzino, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 15:20 (one week ago) Permalink

five bodies now: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/14/world/europe/germany-crossbow.html

"Crossbows are listed as a sporting weapon in Germany and can be bought by anyone 18 or older." good to know, deems did you realise this?

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 15:40 (one week ago) Permalink

de.ems

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 15:44 (one week ago) Permalink

katniss everdeems

rip van wanko, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 15:53 (one week ago) Permalink

Wonder what the chances are that an unbridled jarting spree will occur in my lifetime.

Have you ever had a dream that you um you had your you you could you (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 15:58 (one week ago) Permalink

Perhaps even punctuating my lifetime.

Have you ever had a dream that you um you had your you you could you (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 15:59 (one week ago) Permalink

I very much enjoy the phrase "unbridled jarting spree"

Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 16:03 (one week ago) Permalink

so is this the urbandictionary jarting or what

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 16:07 (one week ago) Permalink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D6iz18sX4AATOMG.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D6iz18uX4AUQdjn.jpg

(is this abt dany's heel turn?)

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 17:35 (one week ago) Permalink

recently bought some homemade mead at a county fair. it was amazing. i wonder how good torsten's mead was

imago, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 17:40 (one week ago) Permalink

or indeed is

imago, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 17:40 (one week ago) Permalink

feel like maybe teens with knives have been overshadowing this phenomenon unduly

Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 17:42 (one week ago) Permalink

Straying into nakh territory here, possibly, but how soon we forget the self-proclaimed Crossbow Cannibal.

Ned Caligari (Tom D.), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 17:43 (one week ago) Permalink

my current theory is that all this apparent forgetability is intrinsic to the choice of weapon

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 17:47 (one week ago) Permalink

I rewired the Chain Street flats in Bradford where he lived. Site was partially closed one day over a murder. #memoriesofmurder

calzino, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 17:52 (one week ago) Permalink

I said to one of the cops: this looks like the work of a right bloody.. erm.. Knife wielding rapscallion.

calzino, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 17:55 (one week ago) Permalink

Cross bows have a shorter effective range than rifles and are single-shot, not repeating, but they are seriously capable as a projectile weapon. At short range they could penetrate chain mail.

A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 17:58 (one week ago) Permalink

*glumly takes chain-mail back off again*

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:02 (one week ago) Permalink

my current theory is that all this apparent forgetability is intrinsic to the choice of weapon

― mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 17:47 (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

imperfect recoil?

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:04 (one week ago) Permalink

In the early evening of 25 March 1199, Richard was walking around the castle perimeter without his chainmail, investigating the progress of sappers on the castle walls. Missiles were occasionally shot from the castle walls, but these were given little attention. One defender, in particular, amused the king greatly—a man standing on the walls, crossbow in one hand, the other clutching a frying pan he had been using all day as a shield to beat off missiles. He deliberately aimed at the king, which the king applauded; however, another crossbowman then struck the king in the left shoulder near the neck.

Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:08 (one week ago) Permalink

game of owneds

imago, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:10 (one week ago) Permalink

nobleman REKT by EPIC HEADSHOT

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:12 (one week ago) Permalink

In 1135, William II overindulged during a raucous evening, after which he slept poorly, tormented by bad dreams. The next morning… he was less than enthusiastic about his plan to hunt that day. But hunt he did. Unfortunately for him, the only other member of his party, aiming his crossbow at a stag, hit the king instead. The Chronica Maiora tells us: The shaft flew, and glancing off a tree pierced the King full in the heart, so that he instantly dropped dead.

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:13 (one week ago) Permalink

my favourite probable myth about Richard I is that on his death bed Richard forgave the lad who shot him but as soon as he was dead his own side executed the fuck out of him

Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:15 (one week ago) Permalink

Clearly we're going to need to poll all of the kings injured or killed by crossbows.

Have you ever had a dream that you um you had your you you could you (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:17 (one week ago) Permalink

Edward II's dad died falling off a horse.. so I suppose getting accidentally crossbowed is slightly more dignified.

calzino, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:21 (one week ago) Permalink

William II even

calzino, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:22 (one week ago) Permalink

and yet Ted Nugent is tragically still alive

Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:22 (one week ago) Permalink

double alive gonzo

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:23 (one week ago) Permalink

Wang Bang Sweet Bow Twang

Have you ever had a dream that you um you had your you you could you (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:24 (one week ago) Permalink

william ii's brother henry is the surfeit-of-lampreys guy, if we're ranking dignity

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:24 (one week ago) Permalink

lol! hate it when that happens.

calzino, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 18:56 (one week ago) Permalink

I know one of the Scottish James's got killed by one of his own cannons exploding when he standing beside it.

Ned Caligari (Tom D.), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:12 (one week ago) Permalink

is that absolutely agreed upon

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:13 (one week ago) Permalink

Quick google, James II and some water cannon bought from the German police some cannon bought from Flanders.

Ned Caligari (Tom D.), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:15 (one week ago) Permalink

im having one of those days

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:16 (one week ago) Permalink

kinder where are you i need you

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:17 (one week ago) Permalink

I GOT THAT ONE

once you flagged it

Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:26 (one week ago) Permalink

look and its been a hard half decade for anyone not me im sure but theres a stage where the "puns you had missed" thread is going to light up and give off heat like a spinning forge with the material ive been banking and if it isnt soon ill be dead before its half cleared thats all ill say

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:31 (one week ago) Permalink

that thread's going to go completely dead as we all lose our faculties and just read comments and nod, not registering one way or another

mh, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:35 (one week ago) Permalink

tenureless grip on reality nest pas

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:38 (one week ago) Permalink

not sure I would've got that without the hint
mebbe

kinder, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:52 (one week ago) Permalink

I'm still bitter I never got recognition for a pun I made on a The Apprentice thread about 8 years ago

kinder, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:53 (one week ago) Permalink

well if you must ask
- someone got fired in some kind of baking/ sandwich task
- it was the peak of RMDE usage

kinder, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 19:55 (one week ago) Permalink

go on

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 20:05 (one week ago) Permalink

we need a support group imo

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 20:05 (one week ago) Permalink

maybe it can be on this thread about crossbow crimes

mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 20:07 (one week ago) Permalink

crossover appeal

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 20:15 (one week ago) Permalink

sorry, my takeaway arrived

kinder, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 20:19 (one week ago) Permalink

"rolls: my demise"

kinder, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 20:21 (one week ago) Permalink

aha

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 20:32 (one week ago) Permalink

longbow murders are much funnier than crossbow murders imo

I could not find one, but here's a compound bow murder
https://patch.com/new-jersey/haddon/sentencing-man-convicted-bow-arrow-murder-delayed

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 22:01 (one week ago) Permalink

the longbow beats the crossbow, my idiotic friend

kinder, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 22:06 (one week ago) Permalink

No results found for "funniest longbow murder".

rip van wanko, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 22:07 (one week ago) Permalink

xp there's probably a gif for that; wasn't actually calling anyone idiotic

kinder, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 22:09 (one week ago) Permalink

"Police now say a German sex guru specializing in medieval bondage directed lesbian sex slaves in bizarre murder-suicide"

mick signals, Thursday, 16 May 2019 20:27 (one week ago) Permalink

this thread is now one of the top search results for "longbow murder" if you exclude the keyword "luhrs" to eliminate pages referencing The Longbow Murder by Victor Luhrs.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 16 May 2019 20:49 (one week ago) Permalink

fuck that guy

mark s, Thursday, 16 May 2019 21:51 (one week ago) Permalink

we've got haters just accept it

husserl gang (rip van wanko), Thursday, 16 May 2019 22:02 (one week ago) Permalink

luhrs bowmann

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Thursday, 16 May 2019 23:40 (one week ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.