one out all out: a brexit from the modern world and every one of its problems please (we're all gonna die lol)

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this is the new brexit thread: i'm sullying abba's name with such sordid nonsense

mark s, Thursday, 4 October 2018 09:49 (six months ago) Permalink

i always make a stupid mistake when starting a new thread, this one is no exception

mark s, Thursday, 4 October 2018 09:51 (six months ago) Permalink

good luck industrial north

imago, Thursday, 4 October 2018 09:53 (six months ago) Permalink

Moment of truth for #brexit talks will be October #EUCO. We expect maximum progress and results by then. https://t.co/MTtoEYpVTB pic.twitter.com/GwXBg2HARA

— Donald Tusk (@eucopresident) September 20, 2018

THEY'RE READY

lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 4 October 2018 09:55 (six months ago) Permalink

the phrase is 'lol we're all gonna die' ffs

shrek and han solo kinda dress the same (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 October 2018 09:56 (six months ago) Permalink

i refer the hon member to the second post in this thread

mark s, Thursday, 4 October 2018 09:59 (six months ago) Permalink

ffs

shrek and han solo kinda dress the same (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 October 2018 10:03 (six months ago) Permalink

good luck industrial north

― imago, Thursday, 4 October 2018 09:53 (fifteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yours or ours

Dmac TT (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 October 2018 10:09 (six months ago) Permalink

The figures quoted by education ministers defending their record on state school spending also included the money spent by parents on private school fees.

This has been confirmed by the OECD think tank that compiles the international comparisons of spending figures.

Head teachers' leaders say the Department for Education is "disrespecting" schools and teachers by this "extraordinary" use of statistics.

They also added university tuition fees to the quoted figure, just to round it up a bit!

calzino, Thursday, 4 October 2018 11:08 (six months ago) Permalink

fucking shameless

shrek and han solo kinda dress the same (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 October 2018 11:13 (six months ago) Permalink

I'm not saying resorting to outright lying and brandishing fake stats is a new thing, but this lot have been pushing the envelope on this game in recent years.

calzino, Thursday, 4 October 2018 11:23 (six months ago) Permalink

in the era of Russian Trumpbots who can say what's lying and fake any more?

Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 4 October 2018 11:26 (six months ago) Permalink

maybe China's heavily censored version of the internet is the way forward! to quote Deng: "If you open a window for fresh air for longer than 10 hours, you have to expect some flies to blow in."

calzino, Thursday, 4 October 2018 11:40 (six months ago) Permalink

president xi, put up that firewall

shrek and han solo kinda dress the same (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 October 2018 12:25 (six months ago) Permalink

RIP Unilad, what a blow to the culture

Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 4 October 2018 16:57 (six months ago) Permalink

oh nevermind apparently LadBible is still ok

Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 4 October 2018 16:59 (six months ago) Permalink

I wasn't surprised to hear that this (the last 4 years) was basically UNILAD 2.0 - afaik it never got anywhere near the horrific stuff from pre-2012, but still why pick that as a brand to save?

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 4 October 2018 17:03 (six months ago) Permalink

still kinda stunned that unilad has hundreds of staff and a New York office

it’s a facebook page for arseholes ffs

shrek and han solo kinda dress the same (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 October 2018 17:22 (six months ago) Permalink

Lol unilad's London office is/was the floor above mine. Sometimes hear loud braying laughter after 6, assume they have after work drinks or something

Colonel Poo, Thursday, 4 October 2018 18:06 (six months ago) Permalink

Hmm they might've moved already actually, their website has their address round the corner. Our building is a total shithole tbf

Colonel Poo, Thursday, 4 October 2018 18:08 (six months ago) Permalink

it’s a facebook page for arseholes ffs

do they need a parti-time sub-editor?

mark s, Thursday, 4 October 2018 18:10 (six months ago) Permalink

the typo makes the joke funnier

mark s, Thursday, 4 October 2018 18:11 (six months ago) Permalink

Apparently Unilad are the fourth biggest publisher on Facebook, which further underlines how completely fucked the online ad revenue model is.

Matt DC, Thursday, 4 October 2018 20:31 (six months ago) Permalink

The fact that they have hundreds of staff and a New York office is admittedly a significant part of the reason.

Matt DC, Thursday, 4 October 2018 20:32 (six months ago) Permalink

Yeah. With that scale they can literally A/B test every post on hundreds of sub-pages/"communities" they own, see what works best, and promote the top performing posts to the main page. It's a science and they're not stupid about it. They take their douche-bro'ing v seriously.

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 4 October 2018 20:36 (six months ago) Permalink

I'm not trying to brag here, but I'd never even heard of them before!

calzino, Thursday, 4 October 2018 20:39 (six months ago) Permalink

^^^ ^^^
I'm not on FB and don't even have a TV type brag post.

calzino, Thursday, 4 October 2018 20:41 (six months ago) Permalink

I've seen the name but had no idea what it was referring to... and still don't tbh.

Zach Same (Tom D.), Thursday, 4 October 2018 20:49 (six months ago) Permalink

we are lol gonna die*

Please watch this assessment of Brexit from the US embassy in London:

Key themes:
- economic catastrophe
- massive job losses
- duplicity from the UK government
- everyone is terrified about what is about to happen pic.twitter.com/VcYxmegOkj

— James Melville (@JamesMelville) October 4, 2018

*to the tune of moby's we are all made of stars

FRE SHA VAC ADO (jed_), Thursday, 4 October 2018 20:52 (six months ago) Permalink

(just read that that's actually from that ch4 Inside the American Embassy doc series from several months ago)

FRE SHA VAC ADO (jed_), Thursday, 4 October 2018 20:58 (six months ago) Permalink

Yeah they're terrified they'll have to go back to Trump's America.

Matt DC, Thursday, 4 October 2018 21:14 (six months ago) Permalink

lovely bit of publicity for the Football Lads Alliance on R4 earlier, these nice fellows handing out food parcels to the homeless in Birmingham and they aren't fascists cos they democratic etc.. Even far right beyond the pale ex-Tories like Bill Etheridge are balking at their UKIP leader aligning the party with this type of pondlife and jumping ship.

calzino, Thursday, 4 October 2018 21:36 (six months ago) Permalink

“James Cleverly insisted Shaun Bailey had been misunderstood, and that he was trying to say that because black boys were learning more about faiths other than “their own Christian culture”, they were more likely to drift into crime.” 🤔 https://t.co/EHtLk5Hixh

— Musa Okwonga (@Okwonga) October 5, 2018

😬

Isn’t this even worse than the original comment?!

gyac, Friday, 5 October 2018 08:43 (six months ago) Permalink

James not-Cleverly is consistent, I'll give him that. But even by his standards that be double wrongness there!

calzino, Friday, 5 October 2018 10:09 (six months ago) Permalink

we're all going to die lol for a myth:

https://www.lrb.co.uk/v40/n19/james-meek/brexit-and-myths-of-englishness

xyzzzz__, Friday, 5 October 2018 13:13 (six months ago) Permalink

Wouldn't exactly be the first time…

pomenitul, Friday, 5 October 2018 13:20 (six months ago) Permalink

nationalism is all myth

Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Friday, 5 October 2018 13:54 (six months ago) Permalink

countries infected with Eddie the Eagle brainworms

calzino, Friday, 5 October 2018 14:32 (six months ago) Permalink

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-45727317

Literally gonna die.

Matt DC, Friday, 5 October 2018 14:44 (six months ago) Permalink

Behind the bravado, We are just a shy and self-aphasiaing nation.

calzino, Friday, 5 October 2018 15:09 (six months ago) Permalink

we were just looking to see if my wife is effectively confined to the UK for the rest of her life because we won't have EHIC anymore but the best I could find was articles from a few months ago saying there's a transition period up to Dec 2020 on that, so we've still got a while to visit anywhere in the EU she wants to go to. there are some insurers that will insure terminal patients but I would expect they are prohibitively expensive (tbf I haven't got a quote I'm just guessing)

Colonel Poo, Friday, 5 October 2018 15:32 (six months ago) Permalink

Noel Gallagher would reform Oasis to stop ‘lunatic’ Jeremy Corbyn from being Prime Minister https://t.co/UJkjJUiVZw pic.twitter.com/uFOibDO3RR

— NME (@NME) October 5, 2018

mark s, Friday, 5 October 2018 16:08 (six months ago) Permalink

just start a band with tony blair already

Herb Achelors (NickB), Friday, 5 October 2018 16:14 (six months ago) Permalink

"The Tories don’t care about the vulnerable, and the communists don’t care about the aspirational.”

This from the guy who admits he spent seven years on the dole playing the guitar rather than get 'a proper job'.

Zach Same (Tom D.), Friday, 5 October 2018 16:24 (six months ago) Permalink

isn't this how the 30 years' war started?

So, a UNILAD founder, Alex Partridge, had his debt bought up by Lad Bible to force UNILAD into administration. UNILAD staff are currently locked out of crucial systems, and are claiming the whole thing is a hostile Lad Bible takeover - to mothball the site https://t.co/NoKV2iBGJM

— Luke Bailey (@imbadatlife) October 5, 2018

mark s, Friday, 5 October 2018 16:30 (six months ago) Permalink

Hadn't thought of the positives to the universal credit reforms until today.

calzino, Friday, 5 October 2018 16:30 (six months ago) Permalink

that is such bants

imago, Friday, 5 October 2018 16:49 (six months ago) Permalink

Gallagher threatening to reform Oasis is an incentive for people to vote Corbs, kudos

Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Friday, 5 October 2018 17:30 (six months ago) Permalink

now if Tony Robinson could threaten to leave the country everything would be perfect

Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Friday, 5 October 2018 17:32 (six months ago) Permalink

Threaten to reform the Time Team, er, team.

Zach Same (Tom D.), Friday, 5 October 2018 17:54 (six months ago) Permalink

lol, the future is Japan and other asia-pacific nations fighting over who gets the most poor immigrants escaping the great western decline. Well, environmental apocalypse aside.

calzino, Monday, 14 January 2019 10:42 (three months ago) Permalink

btw, is you say 'I want to join the party' into your huwawei smart phone, instant Chinese citizenship.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 14 January 2019 10:48 (three months ago) Permalink

president xi pls arrange for extraordinary rendition for me and my family

Effectively Big Jim with a beard. (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 14 January 2019 10:49 (three months ago) Permalink

Can you claim any Uighur ancestry because that will expedite your entry into a reeducation facility?

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 14 January 2019 10:52 (three months ago) Permalink

president xi pls help me better understand socialism with chinese characteristics

Effectively Big Jim with a beard. (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 14 January 2019 10:54 (three months ago) Permalink

I believe they have a domestic social credit points system, it would only be fair to have an immigration points system as well - as Deng once said : " if it shits all over the floor then it's deffo a bad western cat".

calzino, Monday, 14 January 2019 11:00 (three months ago) Permalink

I see Boris is creeping the 12ft lizards excuse.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 14 January 2019 11:10 (three months ago) Permalink

preparing

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 14 January 2019 11:10 (three months ago) Permalink

I’m reading the page about being an EU person with a non- EU spouse and I’m dying at the example of shit practice using the UK:

Sample story

Irina is German and lives in the United Kingdom. Her Russian mother applied for a residence card in the United Kingdom, for which she was required to hand in her passport.

The British authorities told Irina that issuing the residence card could take up to 1 year. Irina's mother was worried that if she couldn't get her passport back in time, she wouldn't be able to go to Russia for Christmas, or be allowed back into the UK afterwards.

In fact, the residence rights of non-EU family members mean that the British authorities had to issue a residence card within 6 months and could not keep the passport during that period.

Home Office vmic.

The relevant page is here: https://europa.eu/youreurope/citizens/residence/family-residence-rights/non-eu-wife-husband-children/index_en.htm

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 11:12 (three months ago) Permalink

Should we start a new thread? I think things are going to move very fast over the next few days and this one is approaching 5000 messages now.

Matt DC, Monday, 14 January 2019 11:54 (three months ago) Permalink

I was just thinking that.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 14 January 2019 11:55 (three months ago) Permalink

Silly inappropriately flippant title reqd.

Never Turn Your Back On Virginia Woolf (Tom D.), Monday, 14 January 2019 11:56 (three months ago) Permalink

lol we're all gonna die pt 2: DIE HARDER

Effectively Big Jim with a beard. (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 14 January 2019 11:58 (three months ago) Permalink

vg

Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Monday, 14 January 2019 12:04 (three months ago) Permalink

No bananas today?

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:06 (three months ago) Permalink

tomorrow's glorious vote would be a perfect closer to this beast of a thread. not married to it tho.

lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 14 January 2019 12:06 (three months ago) Permalink

fully automated misery communism vs austerity - the future's looking shite.

calzino, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:10 (three months ago) Permalink

"(they) will fuck us all with their blithe ignorance"

probably potential for a new thread title in there, or even if not good work anyway.

― calzino, Saturday, 22 December 2018 16:05 (three weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If I can also recommend this from before Christmas (although I much prefer the banana one)

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:13 (three months ago) Permalink

"(they) will fuck us all with their blithe ignorance"

probably potential for a new thread title in there, or even if not good work anyway.

― calzino, Saturday, 22 December 2018 16:05 (three weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If I can also recommend this from before Christmas (although I much prefer the banana one)

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:13 (three months ago) Permalink

Let's call the whole thing off?

StanM, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:16 (three months ago) Permalink

No bananas (and other summer jams)

Matt DC, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:18 (three months ago) Permalink

I figure tomorrow's vote and its immediate fallout will be good for another grand!

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:19 (three months ago) Permalink

Full Blobby, Punished Edmonds: the Brexit thread

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:21 (three months ago) Permalink

A+

lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 14 January 2019 12:26 (three months ago) Permalink

Good luck UK. Btw japan is just about to loosen its immigration policy, so you have options.

― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 14 January 2019 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

So we don't need the EU to actually relax our migration policy? Like Japan, we can allow people to just come in anyway. And we can do so where migrants can get jobs that pay well under good conditions, and to live in stable tenancies, and to get on with their lives without fear and discrimnation propagated by a right-wing media?

Sounds cool.

xyzzzz__, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:38 (three months ago) Permalink

"To Hell with the rest of the world": Colin the Angry Owl speaks for no-one. UK Brexit endgame thread.

Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Monday, 14 January 2019 12:44 (three months ago) Permalink

He's ready!

imago, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:45 (three months ago) Permalink

Ninth Dimensional chess and Unicorn hunting - anything could happen now May's lost the Brexit vote

Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Monday, 14 January 2019 12:46 (three months ago) Permalink

Is that even true of Japan? I’d describe JP as a lot of things but friendly to foreigners isn’t one of them. When I was there before Christmas the metro had loads of ads encouraging people to be nice to foreigners because the Olympics were coming up. Suspect it may be more in line with the Gulf state guest worker model.

On that note, I wonder how much hate of EU immigrants here is driven by the fact we have most of the same rights as British people? Obviously some things are difficult but it’s pretty easy to establish a life in the EU under freedom of movement.

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 12:46 (three months ago) Permalink

Yes, Japan treats foreigners, especially non-white low skilled foreigners like shit,. And it has a government that panders to its knuckle dragging nationalist elements by fighting with Russia over some islands and killing whales.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 14 January 2019 12:49 (three months ago) Permalink

Nick Ferrari to Boris Johnson: "I would suggest he [the Chief Executive of Land Rover] knows more about car manufacturing than you do"

Boris Johnson: "Interesting point. I'm not certain he does."

— Shehab Khan (@ShehabKhan) January 14, 2019

Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Monday, 14 January 2019 13:07 (three months ago) Permalink

I was joking re: Japan. But Ed's post shows that that you don't need the EU for open borders if you actually open them to everybody that wants to come.

xyzzzz__, Monday, 14 January 2019 13:12 (three months ago) Permalink

re the tsunami of rightist populism that everyone predicts continued FOM would unleash - and let's not pretend grayling et al are that different from the avg ILX poster IN THAT RESPECT - i say let's fight them in the fucking fields if that's their point of view. what's the alternative? knuckle? ("you can have any colour of closed border you want as long as it's white") i mean fuck off. i realise i personally wouldn't be at the pointy of that fight so it's quite easy for me to say but i'm not feeling this 5D chess of like, preemptively accepting closed borders just so we keep Jack Asshole happy

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 14 January 2019 13:20 (three months ago) Permalink

I agree with you - fascism has to be met with social and physical force. But we’re not the ones who have to face the mosque/refugee centre burnings, the street attacks etc. we have to step up, if we’re facing a future with a larger far-right than we currently experience.

Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Monday, 14 January 2019 13:24 (three months ago) Permalink

(And I’m a pudgy ex-pacifist, I’m not ready for that stuff atm)

Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Monday, 14 January 2019 13:26 (three months ago) Permalink

It doesn’t help that good old Tony and sensible Yvette keep coming out to be give the béal bocht about freedom of movement, like “obviously it’s nice to have but sacrifices must be made...” - fuck right off. And the thing is that this position is held by most of the media that’s not openly fash-baiting.

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 13:27 (three months ago) Permalink

xps.

Japan's also looking to formalise language testing for migrants, in the way that the UK has. I'd say that around 80% of the learners who would have gone from Nepal to the UK, when they were still able to support their study with work, are now going to Japan.

I've heard some interesting rumours that the Home Office is going to streamline the immigration system post-Brexit to make it less painful for applicants. The numbers will probably be capped but there's a fear both of a brain drain and of missing out on highly-skilled workers. It can't be overestimated how many of the Byzantine processes were simply just to deter people from applying in the first place.

ShariVari, Monday, 14 January 2019 13:38 (three months ago) Permalink

I've heard some interesting rumours that the Home Office is going to streamline the immigration system post-Brexit to make it less painful for applicants

Interesting also because how many times has this been tried and how many times has it failed miserably already? Early days but I can't see a Tory Home Office post-brexit make things less painful for anyone, let alone applicants.

lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 14 January 2019 13:40 (three months ago) Permalink

I'm not sure they've ever really tried to make anything easier in the past. They've tended to talk up the idea that the UK is open for business while making things as difficult as possible.

The system, as it stands, is pretty much designed to ensure that potential migrants a) don't bother b) give up or c) are rejected on technicalities - that's not going to be sustainable if you're funneling new EU migrants through the same route and expecting to maintain London as a European commercial centre. The numbers and qualifying metrics (particularly around salary) are like to be quite heavily controlled but the processes don't necessarily need to be quite so aggressively awful.

ShariVari, Monday, 14 January 2019 13:56 (three months ago) Permalink

Settled status applications are a shitshow waiting to happen.

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 14:15 (three months ago) Permalink

I was going to say, I don't think the Brexiters went through all this shit just to end up with a UK outside the EU that opens borders and welcomes all migrants.

Matt DC, Monday, 14 January 2019 14:24 (three months ago) Permalink

Tough shit.

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 14 January 2019 14:33 (three months ago) Permalink

Live by the sovereignty, die by the sovereignty, or something.

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 14 January 2019 14:34 (three months ago) Permalink

Thankfully Dominic Raab has come out with an incredible new policy. Asbos for businesses? Yes and ho!

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 14:47 (three months ago) Permalink

so listen is this going down tonight or what

and did she rly threaten the dup with a "no-deal will mean the end of the union"

topical mlady (darraghmac), Monday, 14 January 2019 19:27 (three months ago) Permalink

The vote? Thought that was tomorrow. We should probably start a new thread by then, assuming it doesn’t get shelved again.

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 19:30 (three months ago) Permalink

Vote is tomorrow, inshallah.

suzy, Monday, 14 January 2019 19:32 (three months ago) Permalink

Brexiteer Conservative MP Desmond Swayne calls on Theresa May to suspend parliament until April in order to "guarantee Brexit."

— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) January 14, 2019

Very normal!

gyac, Monday, 14 January 2019 19:37 (three months ago) Permalink

NEW THREAD:
"oh you don't get me I'm the end of the union": lol brexit is how we're all gonna die

plz to lock this one

mark s, Monday, 14 January 2019 19:41 (three months ago) Permalink


This thread has been locked by an administrator

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