what was the best time in your life

was it a moment or an sustained period? How did you get there? What finished it?

Summer of 69

nows pretty good. very good, tbh

job's stable, interesting, pay and conditions great really. mrs mac is great. living quarters are small but located in a great city, walking distance to town and park, comfortable and quiet. no current or future worries, just options. my immediate family are mostly well which is an astonishing statement as far as track record applies.

but i think i peaked academically, athletically, confidence-wise and in just having a general ignorance of life's troubles in say summer 1994 (just before girls became a thing- this is not entirely causal but not unlinked either). i was national-level competitive at a few different track activities, had good friends (as far as one can tell at that age), top of every class without really thinking about it. was 'a singer' with a few different clubs and groups that mightve led to things.

had a donegal accent.

you cannot buy a donegal accent lads.

this is somewhat simultaneous to the childhood disruptions i sketched in the other thread but they came sharply to the fore that summer when we were moved a couple hundred miles away to start again (again) and my mum's mental health/addiction issues became a foreground item of my existence for the next decade or so.

2016-2018 has been marvelous: professionally, personally, aesthetically *adjusts tie in mirror*

I'm a straight white American male who's suffered no debilitating illness or infirmity, whose brain and limbs and digits and sense organs are still intact and functioning relatively well, I've had food in my belly and a roof over my head more often than not, I'm blessed to have a great family and other kind people who care about me. So I figure things are bound to stop endlessly sucking shit eventually. Let you know when it happens. (sighs, mopes)

In seriousness , I don't know if this is necessarily the best time, but most of the obstacles I face day-to-day are of my own making or psychological in nature (eg my inability to ever allow myself to feel truly content, anxiety that seems to only abate with unconsciousness, etc.). It's not markedly worse than any other time. I'm writing a lot and with a greater degree of focus than ever. That makes me happy. The people in my life are mostly well. That makes me happy. The broader world beyond...ehh, I'll leave that unaddressed for this particular moment.

Fall 2008

It wasn’t that good but I felt popular and was in the midst of a new relationship

On a strictly personal level, it's definitely "now". Which of course leads to a certain amount of cognitive dissonance.

Answering the other questions would require me telling you my life story, which I don't feel like boring you with right now.

But a lot of it is that for the first time in my personal life I feel like I have the power to make meaningful choices.

Other highlight could have been grad school, 2014-2015. It was an ed program and I was student teaching (advanced high school students) and had amazing students who seemed excited to learn about criticism, basic critical theory and other things I included in the program that they hadn’t been exposed to before. When i took an actual teaching job it wasn’t like that at all and I wasn’t strong enough to keep my mental heath together. I avoided teaching after this because I felt like a true teacher would have persevered and made it work with difficult and unmotivated students—Inwas just kind of a dilettante. But I liked teaching this class so much that I didn’t even get bothered by other bad things happening in my life—mouse-infested apartment, on again off again thing with someone who would never feel the same way about me, etc.

Basic trend is that I am happy when I feel like I am liked and useful and extremely unhappy when I feel sort of invisible/pointless.

*this class, obviously=the advanced class I student taught.

summer 2015 is up there

I have no idea to be perfectly honest. I almost never think about the past, for better or worse.

had fallen in love with someone who was in love with me which is like the only time that's happened so far; it was a ldr so i spent basically every other weekend in boston which kinda ruled bc my best friend also lives there (hi maura) and was writing what i was beginning to think was my best work yet (not really true but there are a few pieces i wrote that year i still love). and emotion by carly rae jepsen came out

xp

Initially read that & was like “it was a Lana del Rey?”

probably fall 2006. i had just moved to l.a. and started grad school. my first big city. i had a bunch of student loan money. i had lost a lot of weight. going out to all the restaurants and all the gay bars like 💃

Initially read that & was like “it was a Lana del Rey?”

― coetzee.cx (wins), Saturday, September 22, 2018 7:24 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao

xp the excess caught up with me in more ways than one tho

2015 was certainly the most optimistic I've ever felt in my life: finished my MA, got married, moved away to start my PhD, bought a house with my husband. There have been some significant low points since (mostly involving my father's still-declining heath) but just on a personal level, the last few years have left me feeling more content/confident about the direction that my life is taking than I've ever experienced before.

Now is great.

My mind is completely blank on this...I’m wondering if I have a very flat emotional life with very few highs.

I can only distinguish between lows and non-lows. Highs last mere hours.

Sadly otm.

The six months when I first connected with the woman I married. Then, after a period of struggle and adjustment in our relationship that took a couple of years, the first year of our marriage.

The minute right after this one

dunno about best time in my life ever but I'm a bit pissed and I just won eighty quid on a scratchcard so it's certainly looking up

When someone put one of my posts in the excelsior thread