Got a ban list (persons, activities, props etc.) for your funeral?

This piece is okay, but mainly the comments restore my faith in comments, which is tough, because I never had any (except in ilx, of course)
[url]https://www.theroot.com/even-in-death-john-mccain-is-petty-af-1828716030[url]

nobody else will be allowed to die at my funeral

punishment is death

McCain will not be invited to my funeral, that's a cinch.

Catholicism

I've thought for a long while that the deceased is the last person who should have any say in their funeral.

funerals aren't for the dead, they're for the living

what a strange concept how dyou pick who to bury

No ilxors. My mom can’t know how much time i’ve wasted taking to strangers online when she thought i was wasting time reading books.

ilx is The Book of Life

I'll arrange to have most of my wife's family chased out with a fungo bat. Most of my own family, too, now that I think of it.

i skipped having a wedding to prevent all my family sharing a room on a day i cared about, strikes me that a funeral otoh....

any song besides Angels by Robbie Williams

i want to ban unflattering photos from my funeral. The image i wan people to remember is the curated one not the real one

if my parrot shows up he better get kicked out

I don’t want a funeral, just have the hospital pour me into the medical waste

a lot of the discourse here seems kinda prejudiced or discriminatory toward the deceased to be honest.

I've thought for a long while that the deceased is the last person who should have any say in their funeral.

― Noodle Vague, Thursday, August 30, 2018 5:57 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

like, what is this sentiment about? just because someone's dead they should have no say?

No funeral, after going through the process with my grandparents and father I have a completely unreasonable amount of hate associated with funeral homes, costs and upsells. I'm planning to donate my body to a medical school.

I just figure a funeral is for those left behind and really ought to meet their needs above all. I think I'd feel prima donna-ish telling people how to mark my ceasing to exist.

No religion, no gods. Other than that anything goes. Funerals are for the living. Body to be donated to medical science (or butchered for the entertainment of medical students).

neither ca11um nor b3cky 1ucas will be invited

Irish

Who says I have to die

If I should, I want a sky burial, but with crocodiles instead of vultures, and anyone who isn’t my wife or my daughter has to watch.

After that, IDGAF, for obvious reasons.

They could fly you out over the swamp in a helicopter and drop you

Middle of disneyworld

just don't play "Build me up buttercup". Anything else is fine by me, I won't be paying attention anyway.

people unwilling to throw themselves on my coffin while crying hysterically will not be welcome at my funeral

Let them not weep
Let them know that I'm glad to go

I'll be disappointed if you're not there laughing, Ward.

dont want louis ck there until hes properly atoned obv

On his deathbed, discussing the merits of having a funeral, Zevon said, “I just don’t want to have to spend my last days wondering whether Henley” — Don Henley of the Eagles, who did not attend — “will show up.”

a: make a list of ppl you loathe
b: request that if they turn up they be pushed into the gave alongside your coffin and the earth be spaded over their screaming forms
c: lie side by side in the cold hate-filled ground until we all rise again

otm

Feel like i would be super offended at who didn’t come

If i did the tom sawyer fake funeral thing and watched it from the church rafters

Nobody fucks

My funeral will be, by all appearances, perfectly normal and traditional aside from the plastic sheeting which lies crumpled on the ground in front of the first row, which will likely baffle those in attendance until Gallagher darts into the room and makes a beeline to my coffin.

So I guess I'm banning anyone without a sense of humor and the willingness to get wet.

I want Slash and Axl there, but the 80s version, is that too much to ask

gonna one-up old lunch's funeral by having mine at disneyworld and arranging for my corpse strapped to the front of a splash mountain car filled with screaming mourners

if only i could live to see the pictures from the action cam

Surprise guest appearance in the Hall of Presidents or gtfo.

brb gonna amend my will to insist that my mouldering corpse be spring-loaded and allowed to burst forth from a coffin in the haunted mansion for no less than one (1) year after the date of my demise

at this point I'd just be surprised if I could afford a funeral

xpost Trufax: there are actual (yet inexplicably-inanimate) human remains in Disneyland's version of Pirates of the Caribbean. Your final wishes are an admirable homage to that legacy.

bury my heart at wounded knee country bear jamboree

Missed oppo for a halloween themed funeral at the happiest place on earth imho

Buh-buh-buried in Yogi's cave, ruh-ruh-rotting in Yogi's cave.... (For my mid-Atlantic peeps of a certain age.)

i might be able to afford a Rock-afire Explosion funeral but def not country bear jamboree.

btw is 'jam' as we know it short for "jamboree"?

Look, as long as the preparation of my body involves extensive animatronic enhancement and basically no attempt whatsoever to preserve my rapidly-decaying flesh, I'm good.