star wars 9 grim resignation thread

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greedo shot first (mh), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:10 (one year ago) link

might be a good time to finally see the other eight

frogbs, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:13 (one year ago) link

are they gonna digitize Carrie Fisher into this or what

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:14 (one year ago) link

I just got VIII out of the library last night so no spoilers plz

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:14 (one year ago) link

Sorry, just one spoiler: Greedo shot Princess Leia. There, I'm done.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:22 (one year ago) link

you want spoilers for #9 in the #9 thread but not for #8?

might be a good time to finally see the other eight

there will be 12 Star Wars feature films by the time the one numbered 9 comes out

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:25 (one year ago) link

Have we fallen so far that we no longer recognize the adventures of the Ewoks?

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:48 (one year ago) link

great thread title

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 19:02 (one year ago) link

wookie xmas special counts I think

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 19:09 (one year ago) link

no, that's a variety show

One, Five, Six, Ewok One, Ewok Two, One II, Two, Three, Seven, Rogue One, Eight, Solo: Rogue II, and then Nine is the thirteenth.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 20:05 (one year ago) link

hold on there fella, now what about the animated clone wars movie

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 20:28 (one year ago) link

It's the ninth episodic chapter, the others are cartoons, spinoffs, or specifically marked as "stories" or "anthology material" imo

mh, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:12 (one year ago) link

Droopy McCool: A Star Wars Story

Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:23 (one year ago) link

googling about this this terrible joke has been made about a million times online

Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:24 (one year ago) link

I'm not the biggest McCool fan but I feel I've got to at least give the movie a chance

mh, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:26 (one year ago) link

star wars counting/running order grim resignation thread

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:27 (one year ago) link

hold on there fella, now what about the animated clone wars movie

broke into a cold sweat at reading this, but it turns out to be several episodes of the TV show edited together. my tally stands and is now canonical.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:38 (one year ago) link

Lucas described the film as "almost an afterthought." Howard Roffman, president of Lucas Licensing, said of the decision, "Sometimes George works in strange ways." Producer Catherine Winder said the sudden decision added to an already large challenge of establishing a show "of this sophistication and complexity."

there's a thread for this, Lucasfilm employees.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:41 (one year ago) link

ha, i was just gonna paste that exact bit from wiki

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:43 (one year ago) link

The episodes thus confabulated were never shown, though!

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:51 (one year ago) link

If Mulholland Drive counts as a feature film, then so does The Clone Wars: The Movie Which is Actually Just Three Unaired Television Episodes Stapled Together. And yes, this is a hill I'm willing to die on.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:54 (one year ago) link

(thrusts chest like a territorial gorilla) Bring it.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:54 (one year ago) link

most of Mulholland Drive, by The Guy That Almost Directed Return Of The Jedi But Didn't, was written* and much of it was filmed for the movie. The European/VHS version of the Twin Peaks pilot is a curio and a sidebar, MD is a film.

*via script and editing

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:14 (one year ago) link

Ironic sidebar: Richard Marquand was originally intended to direct Inland Empire!*

*fake fact

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:19 (one year ago) link

clone wars movie got a theatrical release! certainly counts more than the ewok films. ebert even reviewed it.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:27 (one year ago) link

after VIII i really don't care what happens in these movies. they have nothing as far as original story. they have been relying entirely on re-staging scenes and sequences from OT films. they've already done the desert planet-Empire hijinks, the death star infiltration, the hoth walkers, dagoba training, the decadence of upper class war profiteers, the ROTJ throne room battle. what have they not taken from the OT...? oh i know, maybe they will have a scene where the new characters step on a trap Scooby Doo style and end up in a giant net, captured by furry creatures.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:03 (one year ago) link

the new movie will have a Cantina reference. the new movie will have a Star Destroyer crashing into another Star Destroyer.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:03 (one year ago) link

certainly counts more than the ewok films

until The Last Jedi, the last time I saw a Star War in the cinema* was Caravan Of Courage.

*or anywhere

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:22 (one year ago) link

the new movie will be brought to you by Xerox. the new movie will give your mouth sex appeal and will be right back after a message.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 00:17 (one year ago) link

looking forward to this movie!

nashwan, Thursday, 19 April 2018 09:54 (one year ago) link

They'll probably find a way to kill off Chewie in this one.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 19 April 2018 10:28 (one year ago) link

Aye, they've taken an odd reaction to the fan fury over Chewie's death on the books.

I am not looking forward to this much, which is odd because I enjoyed the first two - but The Last Jedi is so much better than The Force Awakens, and so neatly critiques it, that the prospect of JJ Abrams returning to "no the parents / lightsaber / Snoke are actually really big deals, you won't believe what happens next" fills me with some gloom.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 11:56 (one year ago) link

killing Chewbacca off makes no sense, he's in his prime middle age years while all these dumb human types are getting old

he could have an entire couple human lifetimes ahead of him, making all these shenanigans a past memory

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:20 (one year ago) link

the only ending I will accept would be Chewie ditching the rest of the characters during the climax and piloting the Falcon to unknown coordinates, with the rest of his long life playing out in wistful flashes a la the Six Feet Under finale

Simon H., Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:23 (one year ago) link

they kind of did that in the ending of the most recent cartoon series! their chewbacca-type character ended up riding off into the sunset

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:25 (one year ago) link

I hope Chewie finally succumbs to male pattern baldness in this one.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:30 (one year ago) link

I knwo its not technically a film but

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_Droids

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:04 (one year ago) link

cuz

An edited compilation DVD with the title Star Wars Animated Adventures: Droids was released on November 23, 2004. The DVD contained eight episodes of the series, edited together as two full-length movies. Besides cutting the theme song of the series, many other small modifications were made for the home video releases, most notably changes to the soundtrack.[2]

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:05 (one year ago) link

the soundtrack on Droids is really weird in a cool way

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (one year ago) link

There's nothing grim about a film 100% focused on revealing the secrets of campus utility data

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (one year ago) link

is there some way we could mix together all the movies into one movie to end all star wars movies?

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:33 (one year ago) link

so stoked for this

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (one year ago) link

will they finally blow up the death star?!?!???

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (one year ago) link

shakes!! :) hi

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:38 (one year ago) link

They've been blowing up Death Star after Death Star and getting nowhere. Maybe the trick is to not blow up the Death Star.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

maybe they should build their own death star

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

and then the two death stars could make sweet sweet death star love and have a baby death star. a death starlet.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

All these Death Stars. Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

boo typo

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

What will the heroes do with their time when they are no longer at war with the (Death) Stars?

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:17 (two months ago) link

They should make a sequel from the perspective of the Death Star.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:53 (two months ago) link

Yes Planet Wars would be a more accurate name for the franchise.

chap, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:53 (two months ago) link

Or 'Planet Fights'.

chap, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:59 (two months ago) link

Astroid Grudge

akm, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 13:01 (two months ago) link

Kylo Ren tearfully visits the gravesite of millions of fallen Death Stars, taken before their time.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 15:28 (two months ago) link

Speaker for the Death

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 15:35 (two months ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n1T3HxHd7Y

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 26 August 2019 15:36 (three weeks ago) link

New trailer is meh, but The Mandalorian looks dope

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 26 August 2019 15:39 (three weeks ago) link

The scene of the scooby gang cresting a dune and finding themselves at a kite festival or something (?) looks very prequely.

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 26 August 2019 15:59 (three weeks ago) link

rian johnson: "the past is past. acknowledge it and move on"
jj abrams: "fuck that shit--look it's fuckin palpatine!"

jakey mo collier (voodoo chili), Monday, 26 August 2019 16:17 (three weeks ago) link

lol at the idea introduced with each wave of sequels that what the fans are really clamoring for is just cooler lightsabers.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 16:19 (three weeks ago) link

very "fuck everything, we're doing five blades."

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 16:20 (three weeks ago) link

The scene of the scooby gang cresting a dune and finding themselves at a kite festival or something (?) looks very prequely.

Yes! Are people getting nostalgic for George Lucas' obsession with painting a bunch of bullshit into every frame?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 26 August 2019 16:31 (three weeks ago) link

Well ... Phantom Menace came out in 1999. If someone was, I dunno, 10 then they'd be 30 now. So maybe?

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 16:44 (three weeks ago) link

‘THIS CHRISTMAS’ huh

thanks presnidetn trump

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 26 August 2019 16:51 (three weeks ago) link

xp fwiw I'm 32 and have only ever felt antipathy for the prequels, though I do know their fans allegedly exist.

Auld Drink of Misery (zchyrs), Monday, 26 August 2019 17:09 (three weeks ago) link

The more I see from ep IX, the more I am convinced that all of these new movies are one big mistake

Auld Drink of Misery (zchyrs), Monday, 26 August 2019 17:10 (three weeks ago) link

I knew the Phantom Menace worked the way it was designed to work when after it was released I saw all these little kids dressed as Anakin or Darth Maul and not a single kid dressed as Luke or Leah or Han or Vader.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 17:13 (three weeks ago) link

I think giant markets/street fairs are cool if the characters actually have something to do there and there’s a sense of movement in the space!

untuned mass damper (mh), Monday, 26 August 2019 18:13 (three weeks ago) link

They're really running with this 'the whole saga coming to an end' thing then. I mean i don't blame them showing Original Trilogy footage, especially after some of the reaction to the last film, which here gets pretty short shrift by comparison footage-wise. It's pretty smart, very much a JJ move. I wonder what JJ's real feelings about the last film are. I mean i know the official line but..

piscesx, Monday, 26 August 2019 18:50 (three weeks ago) link

a kite festival or something

they're at burning man, right?

I'm super enthusiastic about this and could use some Star Wars in my life right now tbh

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:19 (three weeks ago) link

'the whole saga coming to an end' thing

because surely after this there will be no more star wars movies

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:36 (three weeks ago) link

xp: there's only one burning man in my star wars.

http://media.comicbook.com/2015/12/vader-funeral-pyre-163047.png

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:41 (three weeks ago) link

how quickly we forget uncle owen and aunt beru :(

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:44 (three weeks ago) link

because surely after this there will be no more star wars movies

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, August 27, 2019 10:36 AM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i doubt this is even the last star wars movie with members of the original cast. and it's DEFINITELY not the last star wars film with john boyega or daisy ridley.

jakey mo collier (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:44 (three weeks ago) link

I for one am looking forward to the origin story about the coroner on Tattooine who performed the autopsies of Beru and Uncle Owen

FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:44 (three weeks ago) link

"turns out they burned to death"

jakey mo collier (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:49 (three weeks ago) link

natural causes iirc

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:50 (three weeks ago) link

with JJ at the helm I feel no interest in this whatsoever honestly.

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 16:28 (three weeks ago) link

I mean that's just a nothing post, what I mean is The Last Jedi is the best Star Wars movie and I don't see why it needs a sequel, not any loose ends really

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 16:29 (three weeks ago) link

also a fair point

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 17:53 (three weeks ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/vS6ObQb.gif

DJI, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 18:35 (three weeks ago) link

lol

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 18:58 (three weeks ago) link

my first thought at that kite festival shot in the trailer, when the little puff of smoke/firework/whatever goes off was that it reminded me of those cool colorful smoke flares in mad max fury road. followed immediately by the thought: "why in fuck have they not gotten george miller to do one of the stupid side movies"

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:22 (three weeks ago) link

seems like he'd say no

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:39 (three weeks ago) link

Miller spent two years on someone else's IP (the Justice League movie including Toecutter / Immortan Joe actor Hugh Keays-Byrne as J'onn J'onnz) only to have it axed days before shooting began.

He has spent three of the four years since Fury Road fighting Warner Brothers to pay him for making Fury Road, with the intention of signing a deal to make another three Mad Maxes if they agree to abide by the contract for the last one.

Dude is 74, and I hope he has not given 13 seconds thought to taking a few years out & directing Alden Ehrenreich in Solo 2 for Disney.

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:43 (three weeks ago) link

happy feet 2 takes place between rogue one and new hope iirc

however, the first happy feet takes place in the maze runner universe, confusingly

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:43 (three weeks ago) link

I assume Miller was one of the 300 directors who passed on "Return of the Jedi." Well, three or four, but still.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:47 (three weeks ago) link

I'm hoping for another Babe sequel

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 21:44 (three weeks ago) link

John Carter 2-27

FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 22:09 (three weeks ago) link

well sure yeah theres a million reasons for him not to do it, still, fun to fantasize abt a dumb bounty hunter movie made by a director with actual skills at imaginative world building

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 22:32 (three weeks ago) link

True story: Jedi and Sith orders were started in the same building by some really talented people with good intentions. Original miniseries order extended to 3 full seasons. Light-nunchucks are involved

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 28 August 2019 01:49 (three weeks ago) link

Paul Reiser guest stars

FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 02:26 (three weeks ago) link

This is the greatest tumblr post I have ever seen. I want this to happen.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ED5jkPxWsAALa0Q?format=jpg&name=900x900

It's his kid, Joey Palpatine

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:16 (one week ago) link

imagining him still going "ahhhhhhhhhh!" as he falls for decades

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:17 (one week ago) link

"if only there was a way we could fly with the Force!"

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:20 (one week ago) link

He used the lightning from his fingers to form a Faraday Cushion.

nashwan, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:22 (one week ago) link

it’s like poetry, it rhymes

don’t bore us, get to the aeon of horus (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:25 (one week ago) link


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