star wars 9 grim resignation thread

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greedo shot first (mh), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:10 (two years ago) link

might be a good time to finally see the other eight

frogbs, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:13 (two years ago) link

are they gonna digitize Carrie Fisher into this or what

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:14 (two years ago) link

I just got VIII out of the library last night so no spoilers plz

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:14 (two years ago) link

Sorry, just one spoiler: Greedo shot Princess Leia. There, I'm done.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:22 (two years ago) link

you want spoilers for #9 in the #9 thread but not for #8?

might be a good time to finally see the other eight

there will be 12 Star Wars feature films by the time the one numbered 9 comes out

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:25 (two years ago) link

Have we fallen so far that we no longer recognize the adventures of the Ewoks?

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:48 (two years ago) link

great thread title

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 19:02 (two years ago) link

wookie xmas special counts I think

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 19:09 (two years ago) link

no, that's a variety show

One, Five, Six, Ewok One, Ewok Two, One II, Two, Three, Seven, Rogue One, Eight, Solo: Rogue II, and then Nine is the thirteenth.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 20:05 (two years ago) link

hold on there fella, now what about the animated clone wars movie

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 20:28 (two years ago) link

It's the ninth episodic chapter, the others are cartoons, spinoffs, or specifically marked as "stories" or "anthology material" imo

mh, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:12 (two years ago) link

Droopy McCool: A Star Wars Story

Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:23 (two years ago) link

googling about this this terrible joke has been made about a million times online

Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:24 (two years ago) link

I'm not the biggest McCool fan but I feel I've got to at least give the movie a chance

mh, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:26 (two years ago) link

star wars counting/running order grim resignation thread

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:27 (two years ago) link

hold on there fella, now what about the animated clone wars movie

broke into a cold sweat at reading this, but it turns out to be several episodes of the TV show edited together. my tally stands and is now canonical.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:38 (two years ago) link

Lucas described the film as "almost an afterthought." Howard Roffman, president of Lucas Licensing, said of the decision, "Sometimes George works in strange ways." Producer Catherine Winder said the sudden decision added to an already large challenge of establishing a show "of this sophistication and complexity."

there's a thread for this, Lucasfilm employees.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:41 (two years ago) link

ha, i was just gonna paste that exact bit from wiki

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:43 (two years ago) link

The episodes thus confabulated were never shown, though!

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:51 (two years ago) link

If Mulholland Drive counts as a feature film, then so does The Clone Wars: The Movie Which is Actually Just Three Unaired Television Episodes Stapled Together. And yes, this is a hill I'm willing to die on.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:54 (two years ago) link

(thrusts chest like a territorial gorilla) Bring it.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:54 (two years ago) link

most of Mulholland Drive, by The Guy That Almost Directed Return Of The Jedi But Didn't, was written* and much of it was filmed for the movie. The European/VHS version of the Twin Peaks pilot is a curio and a sidebar, MD is a film.

*via script and editing

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:14 (two years ago) link

Ironic sidebar: Richard Marquand was originally intended to direct Inland Empire!*

*fake fact

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:19 (two years ago) link

clone wars movie got a theatrical release! certainly counts more than the ewok films. ebert even reviewed it.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:27 (two years ago) link

after VIII i really don't care what happens in these movies. they have nothing as far as original story. they have been relying entirely on re-staging scenes and sequences from OT films. they've already done the desert planet-Empire hijinks, the death star infiltration, the hoth walkers, dagoba training, the decadence of upper class war profiteers, the ROTJ throne room battle. what have they not taken from the OT...? oh i know, maybe they will have a scene where the new characters step on a trap Scooby Doo style and end up in a giant net, captured by furry creatures.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:03 (two years ago) link

the new movie will have a Cantina reference. the new movie will have a Star Destroyer crashing into another Star Destroyer.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:03 (two years ago) link

certainly counts more than the ewok films

until The Last Jedi, the last time I saw a Star War in the cinema* was Caravan Of Courage.

*or anywhere

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:22 (two years ago) link

the new movie will be brought to you by Xerox. the new movie will give your mouth sex appeal and will be right back after a message.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 00:17 (two years ago) link

looking forward to this movie!

nashwan, Thursday, 19 April 2018 09:54 (two years ago) link

They'll probably find a way to kill off Chewie in this one.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 19 April 2018 10:28 (two years ago) link

Aye, they've taken an odd reaction to the fan fury over Chewie's death on the books.

I am not looking forward to this much, which is odd because I enjoyed the first two - but The Last Jedi is so much better than The Force Awakens, and so neatly critiques it, that the prospect of JJ Abrams returning to "no the parents / lightsaber / Snoke are actually really big deals, you won't believe what happens next" fills me with some gloom.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 11:56 (two years ago) link

killing Chewbacca off makes no sense, he's in his prime middle age years while all these dumb human types are getting old

he could have an entire couple human lifetimes ahead of him, making all these shenanigans a past memory

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:20 (two years ago) link

the only ending I will accept would be Chewie ditching the rest of the characters during the climax and piloting the Falcon to unknown coordinates, with the rest of his long life playing out in wistful flashes a la the Six Feet Under finale

Simon H., Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:23 (two years ago) link

they kind of did that in the ending of the most recent cartoon series! their chewbacca-type character ended up riding off into the sunset

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:25 (two years ago) link

I hope Chewie finally succumbs to male pattern baldness in this one.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:30 (two years ago) link

I knwo its not technically a film but

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_Droids

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:04 (two years ago) link

cuz

An edited compilation DVD with the title Star Wars Animated Adventures: Droids was released on November 23, 2004. The DVD contained eight episodes of the series, edited together as two full-length movies. Besides cutting the theme song of the series, many other small modifications were made for the home video releases, most notably changes to the soundtrack.[2]

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:05 (two years ago) link

the soundtrack on Droids is really weird in a cool way

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (two years ago) link

There's nothing grim about a film 100% focused on revealing the secrets of campus utility data

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (two years ago) link

is there some way we could mix together all the movies into one movie to end all star wars movies?

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:33 (two years ago) link

so stoked for this

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (two years ago) link

will they finally blow up the death star?!?!???

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (two years ago) link

shakes!! :) hi

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:38 (two years ago) link

They've been blowing up Death Star after Death Star and getting nowhere. Maybe the trick is to not blow up the Death Star.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (two years ago) link

maybe they should build their own death star

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (two years ago) link

and then the two death stars could make sweet sweet death star love and have a baby death star. a death starlet.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (two years ago) link

All these Death Stars. Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (two years ago) link

boo typo

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (two years ago) link

xxxxpost so you're the Cassandra of Shit?

papa stank (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 20:54 (eight months ago) link

John Williams is probably at this point underrated

omar little, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 20:54 (eight months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52wByO_SFxA

so fuckin sick

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 20:55 (eight months ago) link

I mean I do my best to get other threads to the top of Site New Answers but ppl love their Shit Wars more than the Bee Gees and Ari Aster I guess

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 20:55 (eight months ago) link

for a second I thought Immolation wrote a Star Wars song and got excited. then I remembered that immolation was a word that long predates blast beats

papa stank (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 20:56 (eight months ago) link

Episode 2 has about 10 seconds tucked into a battle sequence where John Williams wrote the theme song to Game of Thrones, btw, noticed that

the bones tell me nothing (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 20:56 (eight months ago) link

sand speech is good. the boy just longs for order

What is it, my young Padawan learner, that repulses you personally about the desert?
It's clean.

the bones tell me nothing (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 20:57 (eight months ago) link

for someone who hates the taste of shit, you sure hang around a lot with people eating it. like you want the smell but not the taste.

― papa stank (Neanderthal),

now carve into a Williams-esque stanza.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 21:00 (eight months ago) link

Alfred's here so I can quickly add that JW's score for JFK really grounds the insanity from the start, it helps guide you into the conspiracy zone.

omar little, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 21:04 (eight months ago) link

xxp ha, desert to lawrence there stands for basically the opposite, no? (p much the difference you'd expect between a tatooine native and a desert-loving english.) to anakin the sand "gets everywhere". (little dots, way down there.) he likes engines, machines, things that work just so; when they are breaking down, corrupted and damaged, full of sand, he fixes them-- cleans them-- so that they work properly again. later, the person he admires as "smooth" will be on the verge of death, and so will the republic. what will he do?

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 21:07 (eight months ago) link

I mean I do my best to get other threads to the top of Site New Answers but ppl love their Shit Wars more than the Bee Gees and Ari Aster I guess

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, January 14, 2020 2:55 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

like movie theater attendance records, the most popular threads aren't a mark of quality of interestingness, just a common boring culture that might reach above mediocrity that we can all bond over

only paying attention to most popular threads is like standing in the middle of the river when it's fun to swim out there sometimes but the majority of time is fun on the shores and in the shallows (niche threads)

babu frik fan account (mh), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 21:19 (eight months ago) link

fred in the other thread that's the same as this thread made me think more about rough vs smooth--

It has become quite a bit muddled over time, but I think technology vs nature was a big part of the subtext at the beginning of the saga. The Stormtroopers and Darth Vader and the Imperial Pilots are kinda inhumane, like robots, while all the Rebels are living beings. Luke has to turn off the computer and shoot with the force!

in anakin's formative years as a slave he has no control over his own body or life-- but he has control over the pod, and his (congenitally subservient) droid, and later over any spaceship he touches. with freedom perhaps he expects to gain the kind of mastery over himself that he has always had over machines. but he doesn't, and yoda and his pathological order (out-of-balance ever since the sith schism imo) keep rebuking him for his impulsiveness, only filling him with more desire for this impossible state of control. eventually, his rough body burns away, and machines build him a smooth shining machine to live in.

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 23:06 (eight months ago) link

*ho per*

Inside this suit, everything is... soft... and smooth

*ho per*

the bones tell me nothing (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 23:10 (eight months ago) link

(he also makes a slave of himself again, as if coming home) xp lolll

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 23:11 (eight months ago) link

original Star Wars 9 plot leaked:

https://theplaylist.net/duel-of-the-fates-leak-colin-trevorrow-star-wars-20200114/

don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Wednesday, 15 January 2020 16:01 (eight months ago) link

i posted that over in the spoilers thread - sounds like a better movie!

que pasa picasso (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 15 January 2020 16:03 (eight months ago) link

Taika Waititi is set to direct a ‘BABU FRIK’ Star Wars spin-off. (Source: @THR) pic.twitter.com/FPHl9nnDRD

— DiscussingFilm (@DicsussingFilm) January 16, 2020

groovypanda, Friday, 17 January 2020 09:37 (eight months ago) link

o fuck

que pasa picasso (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 January 2020 09:46 (eight months ago) link

Good news all round!

J.J. Abrams is set to write and direct a remake of ‘STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI’. The film is eyeing a 2023 release date. (Source: @ManaByte) pic.twitter.com/1QpzLVRxFF

— DiscussingFilm (@DicsussingFilm) January 15, 2020

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 17 January 2020 09:52 (eight months ago) link

Shame on me for believing that!

Chewshabadoo, Friday, 17 January 2020 10:06 (eight months ago) link

mods pls delete the babu frik movie post before mh sees it and it breaks his heart

que pasa picasso (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 January 2020 10:14 (eight months ago) link

Beautiful.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 January 2020 12:41 (eight months ago) link

mods pls delete the babu frik movie post before mh sees it and it breaks his heart

― que pasa picasso (bizarro gazzara), Friday, January 17, 2020 4:14 AM (four hours ago)

who do you think their anonymous source was?

babu frik fan account (mh), Friday, 17 January 2020 15:08 (eight months ago) link

tbrr I am all for spreading the most ridiculous misinformation about future star war projects

without a near-term announced project, those fan clicks are drying up and we've gotta get the dream alive

babu frik fan account (mh), Friday, 17 January 2020 15:11 (eight months ago) link

Alfred's here so I can quickly add that JW's score for JFK really grounds the insanity from the start, it helps guide you into the conspiracy zone.

― omar little,

Just more scenery for the public.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 17 January 2020 15:12 (eight months ago) link

I wouldn't be surprised if it has been addressed, but is the guy being a janitor in Force Awakens a reference to the Space Quest video games?

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 19 January 2020 17:08 (eight months ago) link

yes

in fact the entire 43-year history of star wars has actually been an elaborate ‘backdoor pilot’ for an even more elaborate space quest cinematic universe

https://i.imgur.com/ZEojosc.jpg

difficult listening hour, Sunday, 19 January 2020 17:21 (eight months ago) link

That should really be a thing. Plot twists are at saturation. There's only so many rug pulls left.

Now instead we can have movie twists, where the film turns out to be something different.

You pay for Superman 5, and the twist is you were watching the SimCity movie all along

papa stank (Neanderthal), Sunday, 19 January 2020 17:47 (eight months ago) link

also you're in the rebooted matrix

difficult listening hour, Sunday, 19 January 2020 17:49 (eight months ago) link

Didn't they try that with the Blair Witch reboot that nobody saw? It was marketed as one thing and then they surprised people the last minute by saying it was something else? That nobody wanted or wanted to see?

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 19 January 2020 17:50 (eight months ago) link

It was basically just a terrible version of the first movie. It starts out alright and becomes pretty hilarious a half hour in

papa stank (Neanderthal), Sunday, 19 January 2020 17:51 (eight months ago) link

10 Cloverfield Lane could have pulled it off if they hadn't put Cloverfield in the title

groovypanda, Monday, 20 January 2020 10:20 (eight months ago) link

I was going to suggest that as an example though - it has nothing much to do with Cloverfield (nor does The Cloverfield Paradox)

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 20 January 2020 10:25 (eight months ago) link

Didn't both of those have the Cloverfield link shoehorned in at late stages of their development?

groovypanda, Monday, 20 January 2020 10:35 (eight months ago) link

Was there really an M. Night Shyamalan movie where the twist was that it's actually a sequel to Unbreakable? Or was that just an ILX joke?

Tuomas, Monday, 20 January 2020 14:03 (eight months ago) link

That's the post-credits stinger to Split, that it exists in the same universe as Unbreakable - Glass is a sequel to both films.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 20 January 2020 14:04 (eight months ago) link

Split sucked but Glass sucked more

papa stank (Neanderthal), Monday, 20 January 2020 14:13 (eight months ago) link

hey heeeeeeeey

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 20 January 2020 21:41 (eight months ago) link

five months pass...

So apparently the expanded novelization of this movie has established that Rey's dad was actually a powerless clone of Palpy -- one of many he created after transferring his consciousness into a cloned body after ROTJ:

In the years that followed his loyal Sith Eternal cult continued to use gene splicing and his genetic template to create clones hoping for one of them to be a cradle for their god's consciousness. All the Strand-cast clones became abominations and failures, save one, a non-identical clone survived and thrived. However he lacked any Force-sensitivity and Darth Sidious saw him as useless and could not bear to look at such ordinariness, but Sidious still had some use for him continuing his bloodline through natural methods and the clone became his "son"

Not sure how I feel about this... on one level, it explains how Palpy could have him killed without a second thought; but it's also a little bizarre (and the idea of the clone lacking Force sensitivity, but Rey having it, feels kludgey).

OG Honeymoon Ave (morrisp), Sunday, 21 June 2020 19:55 (three months ago) link

Rey as Palpatine's granddaughter is kludgey, that's why people hate it.

LOScamposinos (Andrew Farrell), Sunday, 21 June 2020 19:57 (three months ago) link

Yes, I know...

I've enjoyed re-watching this on TV, btw... all three of the new movies are pretty fun to revisit (and/or half-watch in the background). They all have their issues (and don't hold a candle to the original two), but I like 'em!

OG Honeymoon Ave (morrisp), Sunday, 21 June 2020 19:57 (three months ago) link

B-B-but her plot holes

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 21 June 2020 20:01 (three months ago) link

feels kludgey


feels cludgie morelike

scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 21 June 2020 20:21 (three months ago) link

On second thought, I guess it’s no less force(-d) than the notion that Palpy’s natural son wouldn’t have been Force-sensitive, and that Palpy wouldn’t have kept closer track of him, etc.

I guess I missed the “Strand-Cast” discussion in The Madalorian. I know cloning is, er, long-established in Star Wars... but it feels a little too “sci-fi” somehow, at this level.

OG Honeymoon Ave (morrisp), Sunday, 21 June 2020 20:30 (three months ago) link

kind of blows my mind that after attempting to distance themselves from the uneven plotting and scattershot ideas of the old Star Wars books/comics/etc. the episode 9 crew was thinking “wow, so how do we end this” only to crib half the plot from comic series Dark Empire

solo scampito (mh), Sunday, 21 June 2020 20:57 (three months ago) link

no luuke, no credibility

scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 21 June 2020 21:03 (three months ago) link


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