is New York City dead?

NYC does have some advantages with kids -- I'm across the street from the playground, 5 min walk to the preschool, 20 min walk to the elementary school (and we still get a bus fwiw). The corner store has anything we need in a pinch and costco is accessible by a very short drive or even subway (although I'd hate to lug a load of costco groceries on the subway).

That said, we're in one of the last "affordable" neighborhoods with good schools and our monthly housing costs for an apartment are still comparable to a nice house in Jersey.

well eventually i will be stored in my sister's house in CT. Maybe in ten years, maybe in 5 months.

eventually i'll be stored in a cremation urn

I like living in a major city with access to everything but at the same time, when someone I know here cashes out there home they bought in 1998 (for 200k-ish) for 1 million and then they buy a massive place in Vermont or Carolina I get vv existentially bummed out knowing I moved into this city at the wrong time.

i'm planning to be sprinkled in the parking lot that used to be Shea Stadium

xp

I wish I could eat the pizza that my ashes char flavor.

xp

actually i was just thinking it'd be cheaper if i'm sprinkled over english bay

i think most americans want to live in a castle and want to live alone and be left alone. NYC is pretty antithetical to that unless you're the kind of person who can own at one 57.

No, that's Minneapolis that people hate and can't leave.

tbh i liked it and left

a new hope

https://www.wnyc.org/story/affordable-housing-plan-back-area-next-citi-field

the Midwest is gonna become cool again in like 15 years tops

Pittsburgh is already the next Seattle and Cleveland is probably the next Pittsburgh, all cities are inherently attractive places to live

Try visiting San Antonio sometime.

Upon returning to U.S. my wife and I wanted to give somewhere else besides NYC a shot. We had one kid at the time and were planning on a second and had sold our place in BK and knew we were now priced out for good. We decided on western MA as I had history/friends in the area. On the drive up from my parents' place in FL (where my car had been parked for a couple years) we got increasingly worried that even visiting friends in NYC would be too much—we missed it so much and were afraid of falling back under the city's spell and changing our minds about getting out. So we drove inland on the Thruway without stopping, right past it. That was fourteen years ago.

I would echo everything said upthread about the city being easier to soldier through on a daily basis when you are younger. (And about that ease returning in old age.) I used to enjoy waiting for the train to come, even late at night, so long as I had something to read. In my 40s I have less patience for all the city logistics—not just the subway but shopping for groceries more frequently, dealing with manic co-op or condo people, landlord whatever.

xxp it depends, some places have mountains/oceans/temperate climates and they have a certain cachet for people who like those things nearby

i think most americans want to live in a castle and want to live alone and be left alone.

― 龜, Wednesday, February 7, 2018 12:11 PM (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I used to hate that American, suburban mindset — which is so wasteful and misanthropic and implicitly right wing — but now I think it makes sense and I want to live in the woods.

xxp I shld add that all the same I go down pretty frequently, for several years commuted once weekly to teach, and that to this day I feel more at home and more in sync and somehow more relaxed (?) in New York than I ever have in pastoral New England

western MA is dope, i have lived there and i loved it

xxp I was reminded that, even in high school, I used to say I wanted to be a hermit in the woods and not have to deal with people ... but I think that stemmed from still being in the closet

Yeah it's cool but really one of its advantages is its relative proximity to NYC xp

you have educational & cultural institutions and progressive attitudes of the city but there is abundant nature around. so many cool little towns too

I don’t know myself anymore.

I would like to visit western MA but y'know i don't drive. (Which is also why i can't live in other places, besides there not being jobs I could get.)

sometimes i think about moving to the okanagan ya

like starting a little vineyard and just looking after my grapes and riding my horse

Xpost that is the other thing for us. K cannot drive so moving to any other city equals in her mind, perhaps correctly, isolation and loss of independence.

xpmarcos All of these things are true but there if you are not from New England there is something about the character, the social vibe—even in the hotbed of progressivism where I live—that makes for tough acclimation. What I miss most about the city is people, random exchanges, a sort of affection strangers have for one another, an ease of intercourse.

I used to hate that American, suburban mindset — which is so wasteful and misanthropic and implicitly right wing — but now I think it makes sense and I want to live in the woods.

― treeship 2, Wednesday, February 7, 2018 12:30 PM (three minutes ago) Bookmark

it's okay, you're returning to your native state of being. you probably grew up in a suburb didn't you? it's alright, for a few generations americans were able to achieve the dream of buying and living in their own house in the countryside, far away from other people, like the feudal lords of old, until the world ran out of oil and the massive famines and droughts caused by climate change.

Morbs we now have a train that comes to directly to downtown Northampton. I'll show you all the yarns shops.

how many are there?

137

i'll spin you a yarn or two

uh oh y'all are gonna make me miss Northampton

i miss northampton. i lived in that cool brick apartment building above the watering hole and northampton coffee. that town is so rad

it's pricy now afaik, though other western MA towns are less so i tihnk? easthampton & greenfield are still pretty cheap i think

i was there last month, went to the montague book mill which is one of the best little spots in western MA imo maybe all of new england

One of my favorite places to live was a small one bedroom above a bar and coffee shop in a college town in upstate NY. If one of us got a job offer there I'd move back to that town in a heartbeat tbh.

driving isn't really that difficult

Nah driving sucks

One of my favorite places to live was a small one bedroom above a bar and coffee shop in a college town in upstate NY. If one of us got a job offer there I'd move back to that town in a heartbeat tbh.

― omar little, Wednesday, February 7, 2018 12:57 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what town?

i grew up in a driving city so i don't find it that bad. driving & listening to music is fun

there is basically no traffic in cleveland though so that helps

Driving would be difficult for me, I'd crash in the first week. Also a car would be a money pit.

driving isn't really that difficult

― mookieproof

Nah driving sucks

― direct to consumer online mattress brand (silby)

These are not contradictory btw. It can be easy WHILE still sucking.

(It is also possible to not-drive in places other than NYC, but that's a whole nother topic)

gotta get morbs a bike. or rollerblades.

car 100% money pit tho. can attest.

i've been running a $300 monthly deficit lately w/out one, so...

One of my favorite places to live was a small one bedroom above a bar and coffee shop in a college town in upstate NY. If one of us got a job offer there I'd move back to that town in a heartbeat tbh.

― omar little, Wednesday, February 7, 2018 12:57 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what town?

― Evan, Wednesday, February 7, 2018 10:02 AM (fourteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ithaca!

Went back for an overnight visit a couple summers ago and it seemed like things had actually picked up a bit since I left way back in 1999.

Gotta say it's been somewhat gratifying to see all of these down-on-NYC posts. I'm one of those who left (six years ago) for the suburbs once kids arrived, and while I have no regrets or doubts about the decision I can't help but wonder sometimes what things would be like if we'd tried to make a go of it in the city. I do still come in every day for work and like HVIII said (I might as well just quote him here) "I feel more at home and more in sync and somehow more relaxed (?) in New York." Maybe not the relaxed bit -- I'm pretty relaxed at home too. I really really miss the easy access to live music and amazing food and non-blockbuster films. But I don't know if I'd be able to enjoy and take advantage of the city like I did in my 20s. And we have fantastic neighbors where we are now, we love the schools, and we can spread out a bit -- we're not on top of each other all the time. One of the nicest things has been how my relationship to the outdoors has changed. Particularly with a small child it felt like there was always some planning involved just to get a little fresh air; now I walk out to the backyard in my pajamas with my coffee without a second thought, and I can spend hours outside with the kids without worrying about what to do if someone gets hungry or has to go to the bathroom.

Walking around the city now it feels like it's less interesting than it used to be, but I hope I'm wrong about that and that's it's down to me being older and not in touch with where the cool things are happening. My wife and I try to bring the kids in at least once a month because we want them to know something beyond suburban living, and I hope it'll be a place where they'd like to live when they're out on their own. But I don't know if the kind of neighborhoods I lived in and hung out in and loved will exist in 15-20 years.

It really was an outrageously great city to live in during my pre-family days though.

gotta get morbs a bike. or rollerblades.

thanks buddy, but most of my lifestyle problems would be solved with a rich husband