the unstoppable local-biz-swallowing pseudo-monopoly that is AMAZON

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Which city will prostitute itself successfully and land HQ #2?

https://splinternews.com/greatest-city-on-earth-humiliates-self-1819657291

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, 20 October 2017 19:42 (two years ago) link

The city of Cleveland is talking about trying to wrap their mouths around Amazon's dick. They've yet to meet a billionaire they won't do anything for. Although "robust public transportation" and "cycling infrastructure" seem to be dealbreakers for Amazon, and Cleveland is way too far behind on those to even make it remotely feasible.

Last month the local rag offered up this wet fart of an op-ed suggesting we tear down the regional airport on the lakefront (which we should) to give the site to Amazon (which we shouldn't). http://www.cleveland.com/opinion/index.ssf/2017/09/note_to_cleveland_team_seeking.html

Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Friday, 20 October 2017 19:48 (two years ago) link

why the "pseudo"

Οὖτις, Friday, 20 October 2017 19:49 (two years ago) link

well they haven't yet reached monopolistic perfection

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, 20 October 2017 19:51 (two years ago) link

Just wait for AMAZON 2049

Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Friday, 20 October 2017 19:53 (two years ago) link

in a sweet bit of schizo governance yesterday, Mayor de Blasio blasted their effect of the local economy in a community meeting, as almost simultaneously NYC released its "plan" to lure them here.

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, 20 October 2017 19:53 (two years ago) link

First, there was the Sears & Roebuck mail order catalog in every outhouse across the continent. Then came a Woolworth's on every main street everywhere. Later on, Walmart was the reigning monarch of retail, killing main streets everywhere. Now, it is Amazon.com. The great conveyor belt of consumer items has no loyalty and no conscience, but it delivers the goods.

A is for (Aimless), Friday, 20 October 2017 19:54 (two years ago) link

Walmart has a better climate change/GHG footprint policy afaik

Οὖτις, Friday, 20 October 2017 19:57 (two years ago) link

full disclosure I have never set foot inside a Walmart. I did just order a mandolin through Amazon. Does Walmart sell mandolins? I think the only things I buy through amazon are gift-related.

Οὖτις, Friday, 20 October 2017 19:58 (two years ago) link

do you mean the food slicer or the instrument?

-_- (jim in vancouver), Friday, 20 October 2017 20:01 (two years ago) link

the instrument. unaware of any other product with that name.

Οὖτις, Friday, 20 October 2017 20:04 (two years ago) link

oh i guess it's a mandoline my bad.

and walmart sells both!

-_- (jim in vancouver), Friday, 20 October 2017 20:05 (two years ago) link

I assume that's a mandoline reference.

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 20 October 2017 20:06 (two years ago) link

xpost

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 20 October 2017 20:06 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

ICYMI Chicago officials, to lure Amazon, want to literally legalize .32 billion in wage theft https://t.co/GX0lWEjTbD

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) November 27, 2017

in a healthy society the 300 or so mayors would ban together with all other mayors and the federal govt and make the use of "incentives" to lure companies like Amazons–and the lobbying of corporations to and by city officials–illegal.

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) November 27, 2017

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, 27 November 2017 16:15 (two years ago) link

The income tax thing is truly brazen, even for Amazon.

Simon H., Monday, 27 November 2017 16:23 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

“Our elaborate HQ2 PR exercise has reached some new, arbitrary round; continue to humiliate yourself so we can extract as much public resources out of your desperate city as possible” https://t.co/8QpvpIAwY5

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) January 18, 2018

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 18 January 2018 21:54 (two years ago) link

this was unsurprising but has some dispiriting details: https://newrepublic.com/article/146540/amazon-thriving-thanks-taxpayer-dollars

rob, Thursday, 18 January 2018 22:11 (two years ago) link

New Amazon brick and mortar store intriguing/disturbing/promising/alarming:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/21/technology/inside-amazon-go-a-store-of-the-future.html

You can't get in without the app on your phone, and once in there you basically shop at will, and (unless you are buying alcohol) it automatically charges you on the way out. No personal interactions at all. Definitely convenient. If you need to just run in and buy something you can literally run in and run out. I assume (if they don't do it already) that they will eventually start targeting specific ads and coupons based on your purchase history.

Does not portend good things for entry level jobs. I can also see Amazon licensing the technology out to other stores and basically profit off of the competition.

Anyway: intriguing/disturbing/promising/alarming.

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 21 January 2018 18:22 (two years ago) link

They've opened some brick-and-mortar bookstores already. I've heard that they're totally uninviting, like airport bookstores.

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Sunday, 21 January 2018 18:26 (two years ago) link

PICKS FROM OUR ALGORITHM

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Sunday, 21 January 2018 18:32 (two years ago) link

the store in the NYT piece is a grocery store, and I can see it taking off for sure, definitely more likely to succeed than a bookstore.

rob, Sunday, 21 January 2018 18:41 (two years ago) link

The disturbing/alarming part here is very little different from what I find disturbing/alarming about online Amazon and phone apps in general, which is the degree to which they track you and compile data about you. These days I wouldn't be surprised if customer photos got appended to their files, too, since both mobile phones and many computers are equipped with cameras capable of doing that and app developers have zero scruples about your privacy. Every corporation you deal with is thirsty for data on you. Amazon is more sinister than the rest only because they are so powerful and control so many data streams.

A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 21 January 2018 19:09 (two years ago) link

not to mention the fact that so many things run on Amazon servers.

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 21 January 2018 19:11 (two years ago) link

http://www.nj.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2018/01/whole_foods_food_shortages_empty_shelves.html

fwiw there are claims that this is due to use of an ordering system that was implemented before Amazon took over, but it seems a little too coincidental that problems with it only came after Amazon took over.

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Sunday, 21 January 2018 19:18 (two years ago) link

They've opened some brick-and-mortar bookstores already. I've heard that they're totally uninviting, like airport bookstores.


I quite like the one here, it’s the only real book bookstore I ever go in anymore. I never buy anything though, but I like browsing. Which is just what they want me to do, I suppose.

Jeff, Sunday, 21 January 2018 19:32 (two years ago) link

Just to get back to it, the hook of the story I posted is that the Seattle grocery store is fully automated and virtually *staffless*.

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 21 January 2018 19:39 (two years ago) link

Eventually, the remaining skeleton staff at retail stores will live in the bowels of the building, below ground level, only emerging at night, like ghosts to shuffle the aisles, restocking shelves under the eerie glow of dim fluorescent bulbs.

A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 21 January 2018 19:48 (two years ago) link

retail work is one of the most mind numbing, alienating, life-killing roles you can find yourself in so it's hard for me to see the downside in it being automated. no more jerk customers ruining your day, no more bosses telling you you aren't doing enough to push the super size cola. just program the robots to do that, let the teenagers stay at home and vape.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Sunday, 21 January 2018 19:53 (two years ago) link

The disturbing/alarming part here is very little different from what I find disturbing/alarming about online Amazon and phone apps in general, which is the degree to which they track you and compile data about you. These days I wouldn't be surprised if customer photos got appended to their files, too, since both mobile phones and many computers are equipped with cameras capable of doing that and app developers have zero scruples about your privacy.

If I'm reading the NYT piece right, the only way this technology can work is if the cameras in the store use facial recognition to match customers with their apps/database while they grab stuff off the shelves. Since the article states there isn't a chip on each item, it has to be the cameras that track what you, individually, pick up. Maybe I'm missing something and I'm not an expert, but I don't see how else cameras + software but no product IDs could work

rob, Sunday, 21 January 2018 19:56 (two years ago) link

not quite sure I buy that for this case, because one of Amazon's "innovations" has been not eliminating menial jobs but moving them out of eyesight of its customers.

"just program the robots to do that, let the teenagers stay at home and vape do menial piecework on mechanical turks."

rob, Sunday, 21 January 2018 20:01 (two years ago) link

Automating drudgery is good! Proceeds flowing exclusively to the capitalist class is bad! Fully automated luxury communism is the solution.

The Bridge of Ban Louis J (silby), Sunday, 21 January 2018 20:01 (two years ago) link

I bet there must be some way that identical twins, dressed identically, could mess that system up.

A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 21 January 2018 20:02 (two years ago) link

If I'm reading the NYT piece right, the only way this technology can work is if the cameras in the store use facial recognition to match customers with their apps/database while they grab stuff off the shelves. Since the article states there isn't a chip on each item, it has to be the cameras that track what you, individually, pick up. Maybe I'm missing something and I'm not an expert, but I don't see how else cameras + software but no product IDs could work

I mentor at a startup accelerator and a couple of years ago we had a startup proposing exactly this. Tracking people through the store (not usin facial recognition in this case) seeing when people rallied over certain items, working out whether people did or didn’t purchase and then throwing up pictures of items people didn’t purchase on digital ads as the people walked past screens.

Their safety and security appplications were less creepy and they eventually went down that route with the tech but is only a matter of time before yesterday you walk out of a clothing store and have the pants you didnt buy follow you den the street.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Sunday, 21 January 2018 20:08 (two years ago) link

Haven't twins tried (unsuccessfully?) to fool Apple's face recognition?

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 21 January 2018 20:10 (two years ago) link

They've tried successfully too, though only a small fraction of them, and only it they try to look just like each other. (google "twins fool iphone x")

Lee626, Sunday, 21 January 2018 20:19 (two years ago) link

why can't they detect your phone? i can jump on a bus and watch myself be driven down a road on GPS. if im playing Pokemon Go at a stoplight and the car starts, the app immediately warns me about playing while driving. people even pay for stuff these days using their phone. they don't need to be super creepy, they can just detect phones.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 22 January 2018 15:35 (two years ago) link

not buying the "no product IDs" line. if that were true you could just steal all that shit and they would have no way of knowing

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 22 January 2018 15:36 (two years ago) link

they do detect your phone--I don't think you can get in the store without waving it at something. And sure maybe they're lying about the product IDs but then why else would they have hundreds of cameras watching everything? The push to make your face your most important form of ID has already started with the new iphone, unlocking yr Facebook account with a selfie, etc.

rob, Monday, 22 January 2018 15:46 (two years ago) link

i don't think you should be able to unlock your phone until you've made a competent photogravure of a body part (doesn't matter whose)

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 22 January 2018 15:48 (two years ago) link

Q: has there been a Black Mirror episode about this yet, and if so can anyone tell me how this particular innovation is predicted to destroy humanity in the near future, thx.

the smartest persin in the room (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 January 2018 16:07 (two years ago) link

There was section in the article I linked to with the guy wrapping a product in a bag then trying to carry it out under his arm without getting billed, but he was billed. So it's got to be more than just cameras.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 22 January 2018 16:10 (two years ago) link

Q: has there been a Black Mirror episode about this yet, and if so can anyone tell me how this particular innovation is predicted to destroy humanity in the near future, thx.

Clearly a scenario where the computers won't let you leave until you've bought something, and those too poor to buy their way out get stuck in some warehouse doing menial indentured servant work until they can amass enough to get out. But they never can!

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 22 January 2018 16:11 (two years ago) link

PICKS FROM OUR ALGORITHM

― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Sunday, January 21, 2018 6:32 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Legit lols, it can't take long for actual bookstores to come up with this

♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 22 January 2018 16:21 (two years ago) link

xp
I'm not sure I get why this is so hard to believe. The camera registers you picking up the item and not putting it back, so you get charged. I mean just imagine a person followed you around the store and observed everything you did--concealing the product in a bag wouldn't do anything. Machine vision is pretty advanced

rob, Monday, 22 January 2018 16:25 (two years ago) link

ALEXA HAS DETERMINED THAT YOU WILL ENJOY
*boop bleep bloop blop*

"The World Market for Rubber Sheath Contraceptives (Condoms): A 2007 Global Trade Perspective"

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Monday, 22 January 2018 16:27 (two years ago) link

I've noticed lately that Amazon has adopted Google's obnoxious 'we'll just go ahead and assume that you were actually searching for this other thing because the explicit search string you entered couldn't possibly be correct' thing. No, I can actually spell, thanks.

the smartest persin in the room (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 January 2018 16:28 (two years ago) link

You scan your phone on the way in. So they know who's there shopping, and presumably the system follows you and observes your shopping behavior. You pick something up. The cameras detect that it has left the shelf. If it goes back onto the shelf, it assumes you were just looking at it. If it goes into your bag, it's yours now.

What is interesting about that is that the cameras aren't there just to make sure you don't steal things (that would be much easier to do with RFID). They're there to observe and analyze people's shopping behavior - information that is pretty much golden in retail-world. And because Amazon ALSO knows what records, books, and sexual lubricants you like, they can cross-reference to get ever-more granular market segmentation information.

I know many people find that creepy, but it's much less about embarrassing/exposing YOU particularly (haha, as if they give a shit about you specifically). More about detecting ways to make people in general spend money.

Did more suburban white female knitting enthusiasts aged 35-54 look at the carrots that were at waist height? Or the carrots that were at eye level? Do they have different carrot preferences if they are also into Christian dating sites?

And what about the frozen lasagna? Are 90s grunge fans more likely to buy frozen lasagna that is on an end cap, or on a longer aisle? Do people who buy organic toothpaste buy fair-trade coffee? Do people who like gluten-free beer also buy unscented fabric softener?

What's the optimal number of paper-towel rolls for a 42-year-old man whose last record purchase was Chicago XII and who plays golf?

godzillas in the mist (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 22 January 2018 16:30 (two years ago) link

Is the FC First Class or Football Club?

Z S - Amazon FC Ambassador (Karl Malone), Thursday, 15 August 2019 14:31 (one year ago) link

It's what they call their warehouses, "fulfilment centres".

Brainless Addlepated Timid Muddleheaded Awful No-Account (Pheeel), Thursday, 15 August 2019 14:40 (one year ago) link

a friend of a friend's last day at amazon corporate, after 7 years, is friday. no one has said anything and she's thinking she'll have to organize her own goodbye lunch

alomar lines, Thursday, 15 August 2019 15:36 (one year ago) link

i am certain amazon will end its contract with the postal service in the near future. maybe the usps shouldnt have staked its survival on a single private company. https://t.co/e46PubyME4

— Terry (Real Lady) - Amazon FC Ambassador (@itsbreadtimebch) August 15, 2019

Simon H., Thursday, 15 August 2019 15:43 (one year ago) link

Personally, I think it's kinda cool that Amazon uses thispersondoesnotexist.com as their staffing source for FC Ambassadors.

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Thursday, 15 August 2019 15:58 (one year ago) link

I suffer from depression too, and at one point I wanted to quit Amazon. But I realized it was my fault for the problems I was dealing with, and not Amazon's. I'm allowed to talk to people, but sometimes I don't want to. Now I have some great coworkers to pass the nights with.

— Hannah - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCHannah) August 15, 2019

mookieproof, Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:38 (one year ago) link

real human hours

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:42 (one year ago) link

Bit late but, Hello I'm Ciera. I work at JAX2 as a Decanter/Problem Solver. Help Launch the building back in Aug 2017 as a Stower.
I have 2 Dogs and I love playing the Sims in my spare time. pic.twitter.com/mxqpdn5yXy

— Hannah - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCHannah) March 26, 2019

omar little, Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:43 (one year ago) link

Once I realized that suppresive small local businesses were the source of all my body thetans, I shot up to FC VIII in no time.

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:45 (one year ago) link

totally normal picture of a person at work without showing their face

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:46 (one year ago) link

totally normal picture of a person at work without showing their face, who has a different name, head size & hair from the name & photo on my account

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:49 (one year ago) link

My name is Leo, I’m an Amazon Ambassador and rebin at JAX2. Any questions about the FC just ask! I’m also into riding motorcycles, the beach and/or pool. I’m Retired Public Service (Newark NJ), CR7, support Portugal National Soccer Club and Sporting Futbol Club. pic.twitter.com/0edDglLEFM

— Hannah - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCHannah) August 21, 2018

omar little, Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:49 (one year ago) link

the great thing about this program is it was absolutely the brainstorm of some midlevel PR manager who needed to find something to do to justify their next promotion

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:51 (one year ago) link

Like how do they not vet their bots to ensure that the name in the text of the tweet matches the name on the account. How. This is a very large corporation. How does this happen.

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:54 (one year ago) link

I suffer from depression too, and at one point I wanted to quit Amazon. But I realized it was my fault for the problems I was dealing with, and not Amazon's


wait, is hannah actually saying here that her depression was her own fault?

(Appears only as a corpse) (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:54 (one year ago) link

she’s not sad, she was just programmed that way

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:59 (one year ago) link

Mental Illness is no light subject. As a person who suffers from Depression, I am happy to know i have resources thru my job to help me if I need it. #youarenotalone This job can be tough, it isn't for everyone: but just like puzzle pieces we fit into different pieces. 💙💙💙💙💙

— Hannah - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCHannah) March 13, 2019

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 15 August 2019 16:59 (one year ago) link

xposts, ha An AI's depression is presumably self-generated?

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Thursday, 15 August 2019 17:00 (one year ago) link

'Just like puzzle pieces we fit into different pieces' - Bob Marley

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Thursday, 15 August 2019 17:01 (one year ago) link

On the more posi tip I have to say that neural network-generated utterances are becoming more convincing with each passing day. You could almost swear these were real people.

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Thursday, 15 August 2019 17:03 (one year ago) link

Thread is delivering legit horripilations today tbrr

valet doberman (Jon not Jon), Thursday, 15 August 2019 17:09 (one year ago) link

there does not appear to be a single actual human deceived by this

frogbs, Thursday, 15 August 2019 17:36 (one year ago) link

this is not a real amazon bot but even still this is pretty funny

Hi Gavin, that is a photo of my twin brother, Tad. He's a model in Canada. We look very similar, I can understand the confusion (my left ear is slightly longer). Thanks!

— Billy - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCBilly) August 15, 2019

frogbs, Thursday, 15 August 2019 17:43 (one year ago) link

thank you to amazon for employing 19 year old grandma Rafael, who is 100% real pic.twitter.com/yDJds0VXcD

— pierre menard (@PierreMenard) August 15, 2019

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Thursday, 15 August 2019 20:57 (one year ago) link

No one is gonna tell Rafael what he can't do, be it in his capacity as a grandmother or his existence as a being whose ever-shuffling identity and apparent control of the space-time continuum allow him to simultaneously work and tweet without ever missing a beat or failing to be hyper-effusive about his Amazon-endowed good fortune.

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Thursday, 15 August 2019 22:14 (one year ago) link

At Amazon, we are family. We drink of the same chalice and, through the blood, we are reborn to the life everlasting. While you grow withered and hoary with age, we, the brides and bridegrooms of the Master, are untouched by the centuries. We are as gods. You are food to us. pic.twitter.com/pp1YG8Jtdq

— Adrian - Amazon FC Ambassador (@blagojevism) August 15, 2019

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Thursday, 15 August 2019 22:50 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

fuck anyone still buying anything from these scum

World’s richest man cuts health benefits for 1,900 Whole Foods workers

sleeve, Sunday, 15 September 2019 14:46 (one year ago) link

on Friday i removed all my "payment methods" and this week I'm deleting my account

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 15 September 2019 17:58 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://www.aboutamazon.com/our-company/our-positions

DJI, Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:58 (eleven months ago) link

"we support the federal government requiring us to do things people keep insisting we should do voluntarily, so that we retain our competitive advantage over other operators in the meantime"

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:01 (eleven months ago) link

same shit different day basically

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:01 (eleven months ago) link

I got whiplash reading that

rob, Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:33 (eleven months ago) link

one month passes...

As part of their HQ2 bid, Indiana absolved Amazon of responsibility for a worker's death:

https://www.indystar.com/story/news/investigations/2019/11/25/amazon-indiana-governor-eric-holcomb-warehouse-accident-hq-2/4282653002/

"A year after Terry’s death, Indiana officials quietly signed an agreement with Amazon to delete all the safety citations and fines."

rob, Wednesday, 27 November 2019 14:26 (nine months ago) link

indiana does that sort of shit even if there's no chance of getting any money from it

Agnes Motörhead (rushomancy), Wednesday, 27 November 2019 14:31 (nine months ago) link

£1000 isn't a lot to cover up a death

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 27 November 2019 15:46 (nine months ago) link

three months pass...

Saw that Amazon is hiring 100,000 workers to keep up with demand. I can only assume they will use this crisis as an opportunity to consolidate power. When we come out the other side, whenever that is, other businesses will likely be in a weaker, possibly precarious position, but Amazon will be stronger than ever.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 16 March 2020 20:23 (six months ago) link

Yeah, I was thinking this is going to really accelerate the move to online retail.

o. nate, Tuesday, 17 March 2020 01:35 (six months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Exclusive: Leader of today's Amazon warehouse coronavirus-related strike was just fired. He says it was retaliation. Amazon says it was enforcing safety rules by terminating him. https://t.co/YfuQBfJz86

— Josh Eidelson (@josheidelson) March 30, 2020

brooklyn suicide cult (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 31 March 2020 16:16 (five months ago) link

Mayor BdB is having the firing investigated.

brooklyn suicide cult (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 31 March 2020 21:04 (five months ago) link

five months pass...

click on the video for this toaster
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B085C89SHK/
wtf. is this ai music or something?

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 15 September 2020 14:47 (one week ago) link

it's like the burial of toaster PR videos

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 15 September 2020 15:03 (one week ago) link

thanks, i'm now obsessed with videos for this toaster

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 15 September 2020 15:24 (one week ago) link

the customer ones are haunting

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 15 September 2020 15:24 (one week ago) link

but re first one yes there is something beautifully bathetic about this yearning AI-Weeknd song soundtracking a real-time up-popping of toast

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 15 September 2020 15:26 (one week ago) link

*toast pops up, lightly crisped*

♪ ♫
toasting you
couldn't be alone, couldn't be alone, couldn't be alone
loving you
couldn't be alone, couldn't be alone, couldn't be alone
tasting you
♫ ♩

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 15 September 2020 15:33 (one week ago) link

i found it because i bought this toaster!

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 15 September 2020 15:58 (one week ago) link

"and the rahrahs will survive / through our tears and our fears" made me need this toaster

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 15 September 2020 16:00 (one week ago) link

when i make my toast at 3am, i want a machine that can provide a soundtrack to the gritty, waterlogged alley where i prepare my breakfast

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 15 September 2020 16:04 (one week ago) link


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