Trump, August 2017: A great day at the White House!

h/t to aimless for the thread title

In which Trump, finally, becomes Presidential, maybe, though probably not, because he is an irredeemable piece of shit.

Let's give him a chance, huh?

How long does a chance last again?

UNtil the libtards are totally happy with him. & no returns or other getouts.
So teleologically speaking it is supposedly inevitable that at some point people will be happy with him innit?
Blinkers are wonderful things

at least four years iirc xp

psst it was clemenza who suggested the title

FUCK

sorry clemenza

Love this quote that Google has plastered under their profile of Trump:

What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate.

Yyyyyep.

Jobs are starting to roar

What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new covfefe.

EXCLUSIVE: Kellyanne Conway May Be The Next Communications Director https://t.co/bHG2Qvt2mF

— Alex Pfeiffer (@PfeifferDC) July 31, 2017

"You got to be a SPIRIT, Flake!"

puff NYT review calls Flake Bulworth for taking shots at washed up Trump hangeron, a discredited felon & Alex Jones https://t.co/sGUy19SGOu pic.twitter.com/MoheH2MEef

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) August 1, 2017

god help us when kellyanne conway seems like the safe, sensible pair of hands the white house communications office so desperately needs

this administration is a surrealist horror film. if somebody told me scarramucci was gone because he opened a door and fell into a room full of razor wire, it would make as much sense as what actually happened.

scarramucci was a human distraction-tweet

Drainin' the swamp and filling it with raw sewage.

One of the many problems with this White House (for them) is that nearly everyone does everything and yet nothing, so title conveys nothing.

Like, they might as well make Kushner communications director, for all it matters. They're all advisers to the president, anyway, and besides, he doesn't really take advice.

http://www.npr.org/2017/08/01/540783715/lawsuit-alleges-fox-news-and-trump-supporter-created-fake-news-story

Butowsky now tells NPR he was kidding about Trump's involvement.

"I was just kidding" seems to be everyone in this world's best defense.

Fox's president of news, Jay Wallace, told NPR Monday there was no "concrete evidence" that Wheeler was misquoted by the reporter, Malia Zimmerman.

'no concrete evidence' isn't what i'd call a convincing rebuttal

Should have stuck with "I was just kidding!"

Fake fake news news!

I've never seen even a fictional depiction of anyone who acted so consistently guilty as Trump does wrt the Russian allegations. And he almost certainly has no idea of how guilty his own actions have made him look, completely independent of any other evidence.

Manipulating news stories, dictating Jr.'s responses...it's just breathtaking.

Kelly will be interesting.

I'm a little worried actually, given I think the best think is for this administration to sit paralyzed in its own ineptitude.

Not necessarily saying he's suited to Washington or the job, but he's a military guy and if nothing else will demand respect and not take shit. And Trump, as much of a bully he is grew up in military schools, so he's kinda conditioned to defer to these guys.

I'm beginning to understand how Trump has gone bankrupt six times

— Jon Schwarz (@tinyrevolution) July 29, 2017

Trump can't got a day without peeing in his bathtub, Kelly will have no real impact.

"I was just kidding" seems to be everyone in this world's best defense.

Before this is over somebody's gonna shoot someone and then say "It should have been obvious that my actions were meant as satire"

xxxpost I was thinking the same thing yesterday. For all his bloviation, Trump is ultimately a sniveling coward and, like all good bullies, he only throws his weight around with those he perceives as weaker. No way will he pull the passive aggressive shit on Kelly that he has on Sessions and Priebus because he most likely senses that Kelly can kick the living shit out of him. Trump has been rankled by McMasters, for instance, but he hasn't really said anything untoward about him or treated him with overt disrespect afaict.

"Corporations have NEVER made as much money as they are making now." Thank you Stuart Varney @foxandfriends Jobs are starting to roar,watch!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 1, 2017

So proud of our friends, the corporations. Can't wait for that money to start trickling and my job to start roaring.

Only the Fake News Media and Trump enemies want me to stop using Social Media (110 million people). Only way for me to get the truth out!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 1, 2017

is he saying 110 million people want him to stop using social media cuz that number seems... low to me

xpost I'm not gonna relitigate the cognitive dissonance of conservatives again, but it really is astounding to me that anyone in a lower income bracket can look at someone who's demonstrated a lifetime of disinterest in anyone poorer than himself and who would tweet something like that and still convince themselves that he's got their back.

I think he's referring to his Twitter followers and the 109 million bots that appear to the casual eye to also be his Twitter followers.

Before this is over somebody's gonna shoot someone and then say "It should have been obvious that my actions were meant as satire"

the whole controversy is preposterous, these killings are obviously ironic

What the hell is this "problem solvers caucus" nonsense

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGJoSPXW0AAcMd-.jpg:small

wired's deadpan game is tight

hahahahaha

xp dude anybody could kick the shit out of trump, he's a mess. kellyanne conway could suplex him. he might have a power obsession that'll make him defer to kelly but the whole "trump as alpha" thing is a figment, literally anybody could flip him.

lots of people think "alpha" means, "somebody who is somehow in charge and likes to yell a lot"

yeah, clearly he's a fat old man who can't walk a few hundred yards without having to stuff his wheezing corpus into a golf cart, but he def thinks of himself as physically powerful - look at his ridiculous handshake-pull manoeuvre

But think of all that potential energy he's stored up by being completely sedentary for so long. Dude focuses his chi just right and he could hadouken somebody through a wall.

I'm willing to bet just about anyone could give him two for flinching.

president nofap

He was probably that kid who mouthed off until someone threated to fight him, at which point he'd curl up in a ball and urinate and vomit all over himself and send the other kids reeling back in disgust.

(It's an effective technique, let me tell you.)

has anyone done any research to see how many holes of golf he actually plays? I keep thinking it can't be more than six

Iirc he usually does 18 holes in around 30 strokes, and then spends the rest of the day traversing the potomac.

Seriously, you have to draw the line somewhere.

also I had already assumed Clarke had joined Trump's cabinet lol

xp

been so much noise about DACA lately that I'm just assuming it's doomed and he's just waiting for ideal time to "change the subject" and drop his latest tweetbomb

― Οὖτις, Thursday, August 31, 2017 9:15 PM (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so tomorrow night then? Im starting to subscribe to the 'trump dumps news on friday night so he can dictate the cable news programming he gets to watch all weekend' narrative

"Trump may like war heroes who weren’t captured, but he likes regulators who were."

chait you devil you

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/08/trump-devos-and-the-creation-of-an-american-oligarchy.html

I'm as tired of this shit as anyone, and yet - I can't help it:

Can just *feel* in my bones something's gonna drop at, like, 7:57pm

— Chris Hayes (@chrislhayes) August 31, 2017

i won't believe it until there's a one hour countdown clock on MSNBC and then maddow spends the first 25 minutes of her show providing background information before revealing two pages of a 2005 tax return that ended up being absolutely useless

somethin gonna drop all right, mah PANTS

Sigh. Is that NY time? So about one hour from now, 2am in Denmark?

"You might ask ... what do we have ... for you ... tonight." shuffles papers. "It's ... big news. Yes, everything ... is big news these days, but even by those standards this ... is big. How big? Just count ... my overdramatic ... pregnant ... pauses. There have been ... many. Many. Which means ... everything ... we know ... and we know a lot ... will be different ... once you learn ... what we are all learning ... in real time. But first ... a trip down memory lane. Remember when then candidate Trump ... you remember him, don't you? Remember when he said ... when he said ... he could murder someone in times square? Well, ladies ... and gentlemen ..." shuffles papers. "Let's go to the dictionary and see ... how they define ... murder."

maybe it's a long-awaited Supa Hot Fire rap battle

I'm holdin right here
Trump's tax returns
Psyche
Dis NOT his tax returns!!!

What happened to that guy? He was great.

"Yo. Yo. Check it. I spit hot fire like someone breathing fire. Like a dragon, I've got wings. Like HBO Go, I got Game of Thrones. Kaleesi? Just wait and see. Unsullied want to be free, so let them be.

I am not a rapper."

Now would be the perfect time for Trump to hire Sheriff Clarke for DHS.

be the perfect time for Clarke to get hit by an ice cream truck

Hahah this whiner we have.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/during-a-summer-of-crisis-trump-chafes-against-criticism-and-new-controls/2017/08/31/8fb32d72-8d97-11e7-91d5-ab4e4bb76a3a_story.html?utm_term=.5373b93c9edb

But the president sometimes defies — and even resents — the new structure. He has been especially sensitive to the way Kelly’s rigid structure is portrayed in the media, and strives to disabuse people of the notion that he is being managed. Trump continues to call business friends and outside advisers, including former chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon, from his personal phone when Kelly is not around, according to people with knowledge of the calls.

Pressed on the state of Trump and Cohn’s relationship, Sanders said only that both men were committed to tax reform.

“Well, look,” she said, “Gary is here. The president is here.”

He's going to be the first President whose biography is a pop-up book

Meantime, on a lighter note

The mainstream media has a new worst enemy...and his name is @PatriotHoleDoug pic.twitter.com/IkOD10W4nJ

— PatriotHole (@PatriotHole) August 31, 2017

That Chris Hayes tweet is a joke about the start time of his show, and having to change the script at late notice

Hello.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/exclusive-mueller-enlists-the-irs-for-his-trump-russia-investigation

Special counsel Bob Mueller has teamed up with the IRS. According to sources familiar with his investigation into alleged Russian election interference, his probe has enlisted the help of agents from the IRS’ Criminal Investigations unit.
This unit—known as CI—is one of the federal government’s most tight-knit, specialized, and secretive investigative entities. Its 2,500 agents focus exclusively on financial crime, including tax evasion and money laundering. A former colleague of Mueller’s said he always liked working with IRS’ special agents, especially when he was a U.S. Attorney.
And it goes without saying that the IRS has access to Trump’s tax returns—documents that the president has long resisted releasing to the public.
Potential financial crimes are a central part of Mueller’s probe. One of his top deputies, Andy Weissmann, formerly helmed the Justice Department’s Enron probe and has extensive experience working with investigative agents from the IRS.
“From the agents, I know everyone has the utmost respect for both Mueller and Weissmann,” said Martin Sheil, a retired IRS Criminal Investigations agent.
And he said Mueller and Weissmann are known admirers of those agents’ work.

“They view them with the highest regard,” Sheil said. “IRS special agents are the very best in the business of conducting financial investigations. They will quickly tell you that it took an accountant to nab Al Capone, and it’s true.”

Amusing further detail. (So, the acting head signs off?)

Any tax charges will have to be approved by the DOJ's Tax Division. Trump hasn't even nominated anyone to run it https://t.co/uMaq66QScP

— Betsy Woodruff (@woodruffbets) August 31, 2017

Was this the big news or should I check back in in a half hour

We are all big news.

Fake big news tbh

Sad, etc.

Ah, I see a certain someone who knows someone on here has thoughts.

THREAD: What does the news that Mueller is working with the IRS Criminal Investigation unit on his investigation tell us?

— Renato Mariotti (@renato_mariotti) August 31, 2017

that dude works his ass off but Im starting to think twitter might not be the best format. appreciate all the insight tho.

total pro

he often sums things up in longer pieces iirc

so where is Clarke going in the admin? DHS?

I'd rather have General Zod running this country right now

yeah my beef with his tweets mostly has to do with getting excited when a thread starts then having to wait for him to type out all 20 parts to it =D

btw I literally had a dream when I napped this afternoon that Trump was MIA and rumor was he'd gone into a coma or something.

waking up was the most depressing thing

http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/31/politics/comey-clinton-investigation/index.html

like at least a quarter of the right wing is asking Mueller to exonerate Trump right now before the investigation is over so idk be consistent or something

so where is Clarke going in the admin? DHS?

― Neanderthal, Friday, 1 September 2017 00:03 (four hours ago)

dept of rounding people up and putting them in boxcars headed south

All these tweets about mysterious news about to drop just make me think of:

https://frinkiac.com/meme/S05E01/692691.jpg?b64lines=IOKZqiBUSEVSRSBXQVMgTk9USElORyBJTiBBTAogQ0FQT05FJ1MgVkFVTFQg4pmqIOKZqiBCVVQgSVQKIFdBU04nVCBHRVJBTERPJ1MgRkFVTFQg4pmq

guys you're making the president sad ;_;

Eric Trump has argued his father is forced to block out negative media coverage because fully engaging with it would lead to depression or even suicide.

Eric, the US president’s third child who is a trustee of the Trump organisation, launched into a fierce attack on the media's treatment of President Trump.

The 33-year-old businessman claimed a person would end up killing themselves if they received as much unfavourable press attention as President Trump who has been in a self-declared war with the media since entering the White House.

“If they weren’t talking about you, you wouldn’t be doing something right and it’s important to keep it in context,” he said during a radio interview on The Joe Pags Show.

“Otherwise quite frankly you’d probably end up killing yourself out of depression. But he’s doing a great job.”

I'd rather have General Zod running this country right now

say what you like about general zod but at least he has experience of leadership

heckuva job trumpie

thank god every previous president had constant positive media coverage, imagine the litany of self-harm

he's right tho, the best thing to do when your actions upset people is just to keep ploughing on while making a conscious effort to tune out their complaints

Eric Trump has argued his father is forced to block out negative media coverage because fully engaging with it would lead to depression or even suicide.

Going to spend the next week in the middle of a circle of candles chanting "engage... engage... engage..."

qlitany of self-harm

*forms one-man DSBM band, gets ton of press coverage that isn't really commensurate with the quality of the material*

ok that fuckin first q doesn't belong, rip my good joek

qlitany is my stripper name

I think qlitany adds a certain touch of wokeness

Stang Gorka everyone

when you've gotta save western civilization from the invading hordes but you can't parallel park pic.twitter.com/LY2QB9gNlT

— Kilgore Trout (@KT_So_It_Goes) September 1, 2017

Eric Trump unsurprisingly doesn't seem to know his father very well. I couldn't see Donald Trump ever committing suicide. But there's always hope.

time for a new thread?

hard lol at gorka's car/parking, that's incredible

I started this

Trump, September 2017: Walmart Knockoff Hats and Other Indignities