last night I had a dream that Donald Trump was in my living room and I choked him to death by shoving a giant pile of used kleenex down his throat. For some reason he did not struggle. Then I threw his body in the street.
― Οὖτις, Friday, 9 August 2019 14:57 (four years ago) link
classic shakey
― mookieproof, Friday, 9 August 2019 15:06 (four years ago) link
not a single tissue voter I see
― brownie, Friday, 9 August 2019 15:45 (four years ago) link
maybe it's time to buy one of those little wastebaskets
― j., Friday, 9 August 2019 15:52 (four years ago) link
https://previews.123rf.com/images/viaire/viaire1612/viaire161200018/67574302--ard-with-inscription-wake-up-and-make-your-dreams-come-true-stars-moon-arrows-in-a-trendy-calligrap.jpg
― Criss Angel Raw: The Mindfreak Unplugged (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 9 August 2019 16:01 (four years ago) link
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/6IumGbCkXdo/maxresdefault.jpg
― Come and Rock Me, Hot Potatoes (Old Lunch), Friday, 9 August 2019 16:06 (four years ago) link
So, consensus is building around dud?
― Rumspringsteen (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 9 August 2019 16:23 (four years ago) link
in the words of my dumbass cousin, a week after the election: "i think people should give him a chance!"
― Karl Malone, Friday, 9 August 2019 16:40 (four years ago) link
i'll give him a chance to eat some kleenex
― bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Friday, 9 August 2019 16:40 (four years ago) link
If by 'a chance' you mean 'a two-minute head start before releasing the slavering hounds' then I'll allow it. I'm not a total monster.
― Come and Rock Me, Hot Potatoes (Old Lunch), Friday, 9 August 2019 16:48 (four years ago) link
the slavering hounds are his supporters iirc tho
― Criss Angel Raw: The Mindfreak Unplugged (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 9 August 2019 16:49 (four years ago) link
Oh sorry, I'm talking about the literal slavering hounds I have penned on the private island where I indulge my sinister whims. Should've been clearer.
― Come and Rock Me, Hot Potatoes (Old Lunch), Friday, 9 August 2019 16:51 (four years ago) link
He was a winnerWho became the doggies' dinnerSad!
― Come and Rock Me, Hot Potatoes (Old Lunch), Friday, 9 August 2019 16:52 (four years ago) link
he never meant that much to me / poor Donnie
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 9 August 2019 16:56 (four years ago) link
the nations old men steam/when donnie blurts a twitter stream
― Hunt3r, Friday, 9 August 2019 19:35 (four years ago) link
― Rumspringsteen (Ye Mad Puffin)
lmfao
― flappy bird, Saturday, 10 August 2019 05:36 (four years ago) link
ctrl+f "Trump" on Google News homepage yields 27 hits. 4 of the 6 "Headlines" entries have his name in the headline.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Tuesday, June 11, 2019 4:58 PM (two months ago) bookmarkflaglink
27 hits for "Trump" again today wtf
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Tuesday, June 25, 2019 7:27 AM (one month ago) bookmarkflaglink
40 now!
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 21 August 2019 23:50 (four years ago) link
Xp 2 weeks ago
Too insecure to wear glasses... this is believable. There are immature baby boomers that still make fun of people for liking video games.
― ilm jive mind (FlopsyDuck), Thursday, 22 August 2019 00:19 (four years ago) link
Google search for “Obama bizarre”:477,000 resultsGoogle search for “Bush bizarre”:909,000 resultsGoogle search for “Trump bizarre”: 228,000,000 results
― circa1916, Thursday, 22 August 2019 00:54 (four years ago) link
Wonder how long before we hit the quarter billion mark.
― circa1916, Thursday, 22 August 2019 00:56 (four years ago) link
http://985thejewel.com/wp-content/uploads/35441927080_5612a67c03_z.jpg
― ilm jive mind (FlopsyDuck), Thursday, 22 August 2019 00:58 (four years ago) link
About 253,000,000 results (0.46 seconds)
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Thursday, 22 August 2019 01:10 (four years ago) link
rip omc
― maura, Thursday, 22 August 2019 01:59 (four years ago) link
"Buy The Rights" is such a perfect unused Trump Tweet exclamation.
― frustration and wonky passion (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 22 August 2019 03:49 (four years ago) link
I'm not inherently against a trade war with China, but Trump is playing this one really badly
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 23 August 2019 16:14 (four years ago) link
you are hereby ordered not to think that
― Karl Malone, Friday, 23 August 2019 16:47 (four years ago) link
i'm thinking dud!!!
― omar little, Friday, 23 August 2019 16:55 (four years ago) link
G7 is gonna be lit fam
― (•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 23 August 2019 17:00 (four years ago) link
bolsonaro is a strong, good leader, very strong. macron and merkel are wrong to think that the amazon burning down is an emergency
― Karl Malone, Friday, 23 August 2019 17:05 (four years ago) link
fake news those are bonsai trees and candles
― omar little, Friday, 23 August 2019 17:09 (four years ago) link
They should have raked the floor.
― frustration and wonky passion (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 23 August 2019 17:10 (four years ago) link
planet earth: too big to fail
― the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 23 August 2019 17:24 (four years ago) link
Maybe the other G7s will hold him down tomorrow night and beat him with bars of soap wrapped in towels.
― The Chronicles of Ermagerd (WmC), Friday, 23 August 2019 22:54 (four years ago) link
The question I was asked most today by fellow World Leaders, who think the USA is doing so well and is stronger than ever before, happens to be, “Mr. President, why does the American media hate your Country so much? Why are they rooting for it to fail?”— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 25, 2019
― Karl Malone, Sunday, 25 August 2019 17:37 (four years ago) link
Are you sure they didn't say Sir?
― StanM, Sunday, 25 August 2019 17:41 (four years ago) link
seems legit
― lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 25 August 2019 17:52 (four years ago) link
that's an excellent example of a restrictive clause!
― rob, Sunday, 25 August 2019 17:52 (four years ago) link
picking up strong Paul Harvey vibes from that one, can't explain why
― the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Sunday, 25 August 2019 18:14 (four years ago) link
and that boy, who nobody liked, grew up to be...donald trump
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Sunday, 25 August 2019 18:33 (four years ago) link
our big boy is in a good mood today. wishing regis philbin, sean connery, and vince mcmahon a happy birthday, and he's excited that jesse watters is engaged!
― global tetrahedron, Sunday, 25 August 2019 18:47 (four years ago) link
SCOOP: President Trump has suggested multiple times to senior Homeland Security and national security officials that they explore using nuclear bombs to stop hurricanes from hitting the United States. https://t.co/4vidIuiijA— Axios (@axios) August 25, 2019
― mookieproof, Sunday, 25 August 2019 23:52 (four years ago) link
OK... at least that's so completely stupid and insane that no one else around him could ever think otherwise
― flappy bird, Monday, 26 August 2019 01:43 (four years ago) link
never say never
A different senior administration official, who has been briefed on the president's hurricane bombing suggestion, defended Trump's idea and said it was no cause for alarm. "His goal — to keep a catastrophic hurricane from hitting the mainland — is not bad," the official said. "His objective is not bad."
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Monday, 26 August 2019 04:29 (four years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/aug/26/donald-trump-suggests-nuking-hurricanes-to-stop-them-hitting-america-report
Shortly after Trump came to power National Geographic published an article pointing out how frequent the idea of nuking hurricanes has been over the last few decades: “It’s an appealing thought, especially when, during hurricane season, we’re annually reminded of the immense destruction wrought by these storms.
“And it’s probably why, every year for the past six decades, government agencies have received missives from concerned citizens, urging preemptive attacks against hurricanes using nuclear weapons.”
I...got nothing.
― michael schenker group is no laughing matter (Matt #2), Monday, 26 August 2019 08:59 (four years ago) link
The solution is simple: we must build a wall against hurricanes, but make the hurricanes pay for it!
www.AlBroccoli2020.gov
― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Monday, 26 August 2019 11:54 (four years ago) link
tbf hurricanes used to respect the United States, but that was before Obama
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Monday, 26 August 2019 12:06 (four years ago) link
Can we organize some bots to @ him about the importance of jamming forks into wall sockets?
― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Monday, 26 August 2019 12:12 (four years ago) link
And how liberals want to take away everyone's right to jam a fork into a wall socket? That part is important.
― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Monday, 26 August 2019 12:13 (four years ago) link
The story by Axios that President Trump wanted to blow up large hurricanes with nuclear weapons prior to reaching shore is ridiculous. I never said this. Just more FAKE NEWS!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 26, 2019
Denial-as-confirmation: check.Speaking of himself in the third person: check.Dumbass catch phrase that makes his cultboys jack themselves like chimps: check.
― shared unit of analysis (unperson), Monday, 26 August 2019 12:26 (four years ago) link
Meanwhile, we read about his most recent inanity and jack ourselves like beautiful and graceful giraffes.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 26 August 2019 12:37 (four years ago) link