Let's all laugh at the Universal Dark Universe

https://morbotron.com/meme/S02E20/998206.jpg?b64lines=ClRIRVJFJ1MgT05MWSBUSFJFRSBSRUFMCiBNT05TVEVSUywgS0lELS0gRFJBQ1VMQSwKIEJMQUNVTEEgQU5EIFNPTiBPRiBLT05HLgog

otm

Looking forward to the 2024 slate of Renfield vs. Igor, Mohel of Frankenstein, and Abbott & Costello Meet the Scorpion King.

Now that's dark!

How can you improve on creature from the black lagoon

CGI, duh.

Also, not dark enough.

On the plus side: original already 3D!

Time to add another D.

Ha, the website gives me strong 90s movie website vibes, all the way down to seeming to be made for 800x600 resolution.
The video under "Monsters legacy" that just consists of short clips from various old Universal horror movies is really good though, making them all look supremely entertaining. Shame they've dubbed in some super-corny epic music. I've hardly seen any of those old movies, but now I'd rather like to.

So, am I understanding it right that they're making new movies of various old horror characters, and then adding on some damned plot arc that ties the movies together? So we'll get Frankenstein drowning a girl in the black lagoon while the Phantom of the Opera plays "Come Sail Away"? Gosh.
Hope Robin Hood and Zorro will get to duel at some point.

I just hope that this venture is enough of a failure that they don't dip any deeper into the post-classic monster era than Creature. No one needs The Mole People: Tokyo Drift or Monster on the Online Campus.

So, am I understanding it right that they're making new movies of various old horror characters, and then adding on some damned plot arc that ties the movies together?

That's my understanding. But it's also my understanding that they already kinda attempted this with Van Helsing (not to mention a slew of increasingly-unsuccessful crossover sequels back in the day). And then there's the thing where they've already put out a couple of remakes in recent years but no seriously this is the one where everything starts coming together.

That Kong Island thing looked to be the start of a monster series too. Was that the post credits scene I was the only one in my screening to hang around for or was it before?

If they had the imagination to update these as horrifying metaphorical ways to explore decaying infrastructure and police racism and despair deaths and random terror that plague our society, this could all be awesome, but that's not what they're going to do

and it's not like it would take a lot of imagination to do that for all of these!

yes turn movies into the news what a great idea it will take no imagination at all

what did I do to your breakfast cereal now?

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/33/Count-Chocula-Box-Small.jpg/256px-Count-Chocula-Box-Small.jpg
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/df/Frankenberrycereal.jpg/256px-Frankenberrycereal.jpg
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/bd/Boo-Berry-Box-Small.jpg/256px-Boo-Berry-Box-Small.jpg
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8a/Yummy_Mummy_cereal_box.png/256px-Yummy_Mummy_cereal_box.png
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/6/61/Mnbox05.jpg/256px-Mnbox05.jpg

Yes, Stevolende, King Kong vs. Godzilla is go. We do indeed have competing monsterverses.

the Kong Godzilla thing is weird considering the extreme variation in tone between the two new movies

otm it's like alien vs dangermouse

irl there are different tones guys idkwtsty

v true and it's refreshing to see a King Kong vs Godzilla movie that reflects that reality

alien vs dangermouse

would watch tbf

But it's also my understanding that they already kinda attempted this with Van Helsing (not to mention a slew of increasingly-unsuccessful crossover sequels back in the day).

they did it with dracula untold a couple of years ago and then when it tanked they were like 'lol j/k next one's the real start of the shared universe, for realsies this time honest'

If they had the imagination to update these as horrifying metaphorical ways to explore decaying infrastructure and police racism and despair deaths and random terror that plague our society, this could all be awesome, but that's not what they're going to do

can we start a petition to put tombot in charge of these pls

Never said I wasn't on board for alien vs dangermouse tbf I was just agreeing that it's weird

shame we're gonna have to wait for ridley scott to die before it happens

Frankly, I would love it if they ditched the conservatism and went for a bunch of wild and disparate styles with these things (e.g. a sleazy low-budget Cohen/Henenlotter-esque Wolfman, a taut and hyper-stylized political thriller Invisible Man, a crazy psychedelic neo-giallo Frankenstein) instead of the 'grey and foreboding boilerplate action movie with a single translucent coat of horror' template that they clearly will be using to punch these things out.

Wake me when we have Dracula vs. Kong.

universal also owns the rights to the fast and furious series, just sayin'

Frankenstein Drift

god i very badly wanna see vin diesel scrap with the creature from the black lagoon

FYI for those unaware, the next film in the saga is Bride of Frankenstein. Before they've made a Dark Universe version of Frankenstein, yes. And they apparently do have Phantom of the Opera and the Hunchback of Notre Dame lined up. I kinda don't even know what to say. Good luck, I guess?

I do hope that there's a slew of quickie rip-off adaptations of these public domain properties released around the same time that totally muddy the waters of this endeavor.

phantom and hunchback aren't even really canonical 'universal monsters' ffs

I do hope that there's a slew of quickie rip-off adaptations of these public domain properties released around the same time that totally muddy the waters of this endeavor.

ilx pre-covers the universal dark universe?

Why not! Dust off your camcorders, folks.

I want a movie in which Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker, H. G. Wells, R. L. Stevenson, Victor Hugo, and Gaston Leroux are awakened from the grave to reclaim their intellectual property.

yes turn movies into the news what a great idea it will take no imagination at all

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, June 6, 2017 8:16 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Right? When have monster movies or horror films ever dealt with the cultural zeitgeist or deep-seated social anxieties? The George Romero "Dead" movies were not in any way metaphorical, nor was the original "Godzilla."

"The Host" also had nothing whatsoever to say about American militarism and imperialism, it was just a monster movie and THAT'S ALL.

I mean, also, they'll probably manage to mess up the psychological metaphors that are there already in the classic films

By changing things around a bit but not enough, so as with most re-makes you end up with slop

^ Trenchant

wat if Frankenstein but made by isis

dotor jekyll but good 1 is bad

Who is the real monster, Frankenstein or that guy who made him whose name I don't know?

invisible man but he's partially visible

I have seen the Dark Universe, yawning,
Where the blockbusters cruise without aim;
Where they cruise in their "horror" unneeded, each ghost held aloft by a name.

Bride of Frankenstein, but also Frankenstein cuz she cannot decide on gender so he keeps taking out the stitches to swap out the junk.

sold

I would like to see a Count Chocula film played completely straight. The full origin story of how Chocula, once a man, became a creature of the night with an unquenchable thirst for chocolate. Very grim, very dark. Like 98% cacao dark.

we live in a world where riverdale exists so

It would have been really easy to make a scary Mummy movie. Like, a found footage trapped in a tomb movie (I'm sure it's been done). Or basically, It Follows, but a Mummy.

but then you can't do them faithfully because every single one of them is now a knackered, wheezing cliche in the popular imagination

― cast your vote for fully automated gay space luxury communism (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:58

And King Kong or Godzilla isn't? (In theory, any remake can be done well. In practice, Sturgeon's Law is in full effect.)

The Ottomans want to impose their Turkish delights on Christendom. That's a movie.

― jmm, Tuesday, June 13, 2017 1:05 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You are Steve Bannon and I claim my five pounds.

yes, you're describing this movie:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pyramid_(film)

xposts

The Mummy has never had much luck against Wonder Woman:

https://scontent.fman2-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/19113862_10154552632520143_1903104110016641603_n.jpg?oh=daa4003f66518272ab6557a133bc3927&oe=59DAD3C4

^image nicked from the Facebook page of film critic John Charles

you can't do them faithfully because every single one of them is now a knackered, wheezing cliche in the popular imagination

no, this is the kind of thinking that has resulted in so many forgettable re-imaginings that imo the original designs are novel again. if they went full-on og Frankenstein w slightly updated take on the classic look, they could make it work. look at Monster Squad, they brought back all the classic monsters and made them work, even the mummy was made creepy again w the trapped in that closet. they just need people who can write a decent movie.

It's always been frustrating because I'm all about the classic/gothic horror aesthetic, it's probably 80% of the reason I like horror but there's really not that many good scripts in the films. And whenever there's a return to it, the stories are usually hackneyed. There's no reason you have to keep using those plots.

Whomp whomp

https://io9.gizmodo.com/apparently-the-new-bride-of-frankenstein-has-nothing-t-1819120817

As the story notes, it's likely going the deep prequel route instead...but is it?

The Dark Universe is dead, long live (to quote Variety) “a fresh strategy for the Universal monsters properties, bringing creative directors with distinctive visions to the classic characters.”

https://io9.gizmodo.com/a-new-invisible-man-film-rises-as-the-dark-universe-die-1832124202

Aw, does this mean we'll never get to see Seth Rogen as Lou Costello?

Can't wait to consume the fresh content generated by the Universal Synergisticdiversificationverse!

That shitty promo photo for this will never not be funny

Johnny Depp was the actor originally expected to play the Invisible Man, and though he is not thought to be part of this movie, Variety’s sources suggest it could happen in the future. The same goes for actors like Javier Bardem and even Cruise’s character: They could appear in future movies, but it’s not definite. For now, the idea is to encourage individual filmmakers to make great movies, and see what happens.

they will not appear in future movies

https://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2017/05/31/31-universal-monsterverse-dark-universe.w700.h700.jpg

Ah yes, all your faves - there’s the mummy of course, and the Dracula, and the wolf man, and that must be the Frankenstein sitting down there, and who’s that on the end? Oh, how could I forget, the black lagoon!

Oh no wait it’s five checked-out randos. Can’t fucking wait for them to cross over with each other.

Russell Crowe with the expression of a man who's come home to see an uncut lawn and a terrified son

That photo was edited together, iirc. Can't you just feel the chemistry?

I watched The Mummy and it's remarkable how they took a plot that was about 3/4 of a movie and then slapped half of a different film into the middle of it and still somehow only came out with less than a single complete work

I've never heard of this thing, just clicked on the thread in the expectation that it was about laughing at the universally dark universe we all live in and got to say I'm pretty disappointed

I was hoping for a debunking of dark matter a la string theory

Johnny Depp was the actor originally expected to play the Invisible Man

Let's all bow our heads in honor of Camaraderie's thirst for humorous anomie.

Johnny Depp was the actor originally expected to play the Invisible Man

Pretty sure Johnny Depp is already playing the Invisible Man in most movies. He's usually just walking around in the background and stuff, but you kind of have to squint.

xp

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--7EE3U59R--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/kmekc3hllxpgjts5yncg.jpg

I'm trying to think of a body of water that is hipper and fresher than the Black Lagoon.

― The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T & the Women (Old Lunch), Tuesday, June 13, 2017 12:16 PM (one year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The Creature from the Gowanus Canal? He's coming for your microbrews...and a hipster hottie in a vintage bathing suit?

In the meantime, the Invisble Man remake may have solved its Depp problem: https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2467738/the-invisible-man-reboot-may-have-found-its-first-new-star

I hope they cast her as the titular star and still bafflingly go with The Invisible Man as the title.

it's aliiiiiiiiive!

Elisabeth Moss, who was in early talks for Universal-Blumhouse’s The Invisible Man last month, is officially on board with the latest rendition of the classic monster character.

The project reps a re-team for Moss with producer Jason Blum after the recent $220M-global grossing success of Jordan Peele’s Us. Invisible Man will shoot in Australia. The opening weekend for Us became the highest-grossing ever for an original horror title.

And prompted by the wild success of an original horror title, we've opted to produce the 415th film adaptation of a 150 year old horror property.

laugh all you want, cynic, but i for one am excited about the possibility of elisabeth moss' invisible man going toe-to-toe with russell crowe's mr hyde and tom cruise's err whoever the fuck tom cruise was in the mummy

The Daddy?

https://media.giphy.com/media/l3q2MPtyq5CBzQcIU/giphy.gif

Apparently the success of The Invisible Man has inspired Universal to return to the Dark Universe: http://epicstream.com/news/TinyDiapana/Universal-Developing-New-Dracula-Movie-For-Its-Dark-Universe

the invisible man was good though

it was also made on a us$7m budget, unlike the mummy which cost a freaking bomb

giving it all to blumhouse is a decent strategy. might work.

we could be entering an era of decent hollywood movies that don’t cost liechtenstein’s gdp to make

seems like horror films are the only small movies that turn a reliable profit today.

Yeah I saw this last night and thought it was good. Have no idea wtf they’re gonna do with Dracula. Also assume the budget won’t be 7m.

imo they should cap the budgets just in case

Two of Kusama's previous films were on $1 million budgets (fifteen years apart).

Whannel's first film made $100 million on a $1 million budget, his second made $147 million on a $4 million budget, his third made $164 million on a $10 million budget, his fifth made $100 million on a $1.5 million budget, his sixth made $160 million on a $5 million budget, his seventh (first as director) made $113 million on an $11 million budget, his eighth had a $3 million budget, and The Invisible Man has made $105 million in two weeks on a $7 million budget.

Blumhouse's most expensive movies to date iirc are $15 million for BlacKkKlansman, a co-production with a name director, a couple of stars, dozens of speaking roles & even more extras, and shitloads of outdoor and indoor location shoots; and $20 million for Glass, which had to pay M. Night Shyamalan, Bruce Willis, Sam Jackson, and James McAvoy, who probably has a reasonable quote after a bunch of X-Mens.

It's very unlikely that they're not going to keep the budget low on Kusama's Dracula.

and the one that kinda flopped was upgrade, which is amazing

Returned about six times its budget, on almost zero promotion! Absolutely a big success, just only made a fraction of his horror & sequel flicks.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/invisible-man-helmer-leigh-whannell-direct-ryan-gosling-wolfman-1302467

Aaaand now Blumhouse and Whannell are now attached to a Wolfman reboot for Ryan Gosling. "The script has been described as having a vibe that evokes Network (1976) and Nightcrawler (2014)." So pseudo-found footage of Larry Talbot yelling "I'm flea-bitten as hell, and I'm not going to take this any more"?

i was recently thinking that if ace in the hole were done today, the reporter would throw people in wells and never think twice about it.