Let's all laugh at the Universal Dark Universe

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http://www.darkuniverse.com/

They keep muttering about this thing, and that Mummy reboot is supposed to kick it off, there are other movies already in the works. And now!

http://io9.gizmodo.com/universal-adds-phantom-of-the-opera-and-hunchback-of-no-1795853130

Alex Kurtzman, writer-director behind The Mummy, recently revealed to Fandom that “We know we’re going to do Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Phantom of the Opera, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Invisible Man.”

Avengers assemble! No wait...

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:17 (one year ago) Permalink

isn't there a thread already or was that just for nu-mummy...

scott seward, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:22 (one year ago) Permalink

Yeah I thought there was, but my searching didn't turn it up.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:25 (one year ago) Permalink

All I can think of is that this has been at Universal Orlando since it opened in 1990 and has barely changed:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal%27s_Horror_Make-Up_Show

Sutcliffe Juugin' (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:27 (one year ago) Permalink

otm

he's also fouled up with NON-FAT (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:38 (one year ago) Permalink

Looking forward to the 2024 slate of Renfield vs. Igor, Mohel of Frankenstein, and Abbott & Costello Meet the Scorpion King.

Prince & the Yearbook Committee - '2cool2B4gotten' b/w 'LYLAS' (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 19:08 (one year ago) Permalink

Now that's dark!

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 19:10 (one year ago) Permalink

How can you improve on creature from the black lagoon

Never changed username before (cardamon), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 22:37 (one year ago) Permalink

CGI, duh.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 22:56 (one year ago) Permalink

Also, not dark enough.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 22:57 (one year ago) Permalink

On the plus side: original already 3D!

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 22:57 (one year ago) Permalink

Time to add another D.

Prince & the Yearbook Committee - '2cool2B4gotten' b/w 'LYLAS' (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 23:24 (one year ago) Permalink

Ha, the website gives me strong 90s movie website vibes, all the way down to seeming to be made for 800x600 resolution.
The video under "Monsters legacy" that just consists of short clips from various old Universal horror movies is really good though, making them all look supremely entertaining. Shame they've dubbed in some super-corny epic music. I've hardly seen any of those old movies, but now I'd rather like to.

So, am I understanding it right that they're making new movies of various old horror characters, and then adding on some damned plot arc that ties the movies together? So we'll get Frankenstein drowning a girl in the black lagoon while the Phantom of the Opera plays "Come Sail Away"? Gosh.
Hope Robin Hood and Zorro will get to duel at some point.

Rimsky-Koskenkorva (Øystein), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 23:28 (one year ago) Permalink

I just hope that this venture is enough of a failure that they don't dip any deeper into the post-classic monster era than Creature. No one needs The Mole People: Tokyo Drift or Monster on the Online Campus.

Prince & the Yearbook Committee - '2cool2B4gotten' b/w 'LYLAS' (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 23:32 (one year ago) Permalink

So, am I understanding it right that they're making new movies of various old horror characters, and then adding on some damned plot arc that ties the movies together?

That's my understanding. But it's also my understanding that they already kinda attempted this with Van Helsing (not to mention a slew of increasingly-unsuccessful crossover sequels back in the day). And then there's the thing where they've already put out a couple of remakes in recent years but no seriously this is the one where everything starts coming together.

Prince & the Yearbook Committee - '2cool2B4gotten' b/w 'LYLAS' (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 23:38 (one year ago) Permalink

That Kong Island thing looked to be the start of a monster series too. Was that the post credits scene I was the only one in my screening to hang around for or was it before?

Stevolende, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 23:57 (one year ago) Permalink

If they had the imagination to update these as horrifying metaphorical ways to explore decaying infrastructure and police racism and despair deaths and random terror that plague our society, this could all be awesome, but that's not what they're going to do

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 00:04 (one year ago) Permalink

and it's not like it would take a lot of imagination to do that for all of these!

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 00:10 (one year ago) Permalink

yes turn movies into the news what a great idea it will take no imagination at all

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 00:16 (one year ago) Permalink

what did I do to your breakfast cereal now?

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 00:19 (one year ago) Permalink

Yes, Stevolende, King Kong vs. Godzilla is go. We do indeed have competing monsterverses.

Prince & the Yearbook Committee - '2cool2B4gotten' b/w 'LYLAS' (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 01:46 (one year ago) Permalink

the Kong Godzilla thing is weird considering the extreme variation in tone between the two new movies

Number None, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 06:18 (one year ago) Permalink

otm it's like alien vs dangermouse

K-hole MacLachlan (wins), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 06:27 (one year ago) Permalink

irl there are different tones guys idkwtsty

D'mnuchin returns (darraghmac), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 07:34 (one year ago) Permalink

v true and it's refreshing to see a King Kong vs Godzilla movie that reflects that reality

K-hole MacLachlan (wins), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 08:04 (one year ago) Permalink

alien vs dangermouse

would watch tbf

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 08:25 (one year ago) Permalink

But it's also my understanding that they already kinda attempted this with Van Helsing (not to mention a slew of increasingly-unsuccessful crossover sequels back in the day).

they did it with dracula untold a couple of years ago and then when it tanked they were like 'lol j/k next one's the real start of the shared universe, for realsies this time honest'

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 08:29 (one year ago) Permalink

If they had the imagination to update these as horrifying metaphorical ways to explore decaying infrastructure and police racism and despair deaths and random terror that plague our society, this could all be awesome, but that's not what they're going to do

can we start a petition to put tombot in charge of these pls

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 08:30 (one year ago) Permalink

Never said I wasn't on board for alien vs dangermouse tbf I was just agreeing that it's weird

K-hole MacLachlan (wins), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 08:32 (one year ago) Permalink

shame we're gonna have to wait for ridley scott to die before it happens

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 08:35 (one year ago) Permalink

Frankly, I would love it if they ditched the conservatism and went for a bunch of wild and disparate styles with these things (e.g. a sleazy low-budget Cohen/Henenlotter-esque Wolfman, a taut and hyper-stylized political thriller Invisible Man, a crazy psychedelic neo-giallo Frankenstein) instead of the 'grey and foreboding boilerplate action movie with a single translucent coat of horror' template that they clearly will be using to punch these things out.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 10:27 (one year ago) Permalink

Wake me when we have Dracula vs. Kong.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 11:25 (one year ago) Permalink

universal also owns the rights to the fast and furious series, just sayin'

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 11:42 (one year ago) Permalink

Frankenstein Drift

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 11:52 (one year ago) Permalink

god i very badly wanna see vin diesel scrap with the creature from the black lagoon

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 12:00 (one year ago) Permalink

FYI for those unaware, the next film in the saga is Bride of Frankenstein. Before they've made a Dark Universe version of Frankenstein, yes. And they apparently do have Phantom of the Opera and the Hunchback of Notre Dame lined up. I kinda don't even know what to say. Good luck, I guess?

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 12:11 (one year ago) Permalink

I do hope that there's a slew of quickie rip-off adaptations of these public domain properties released around the same time that totally muddy the waters of this endeavor.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 12:16 (one year ago) Permalink

phantom and hunchback aren't even really canonical 'universal monsters' ffs

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 12:17 (one year ago) Permalink

I do hope that there's a slew of quickie rip-off adaptations of these public domain properties released around the same time that totally muddy the waters of this endeavor.

ilx pre-covers the universal dark universe?

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 12:18 (one year ago) Permalink

Why not! Dust off your camcorders, folks.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 12:46 (one year ago) Permalink

I want a movie in which Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker, H. G. Wells, R. L. Stevenson, Victor Hugo, and Gaston Leroux are awakened from the grave to reclaim their intellectual property.

jmm, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 13:17 (one year ago) Permalink

yes turn movies into the news what a great idea it will take no imagination at all

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, June 6, 2017 8:16 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Right? When have monster movies or horror films ever dealt with the cultural zeitgeist or deep-seated social anxieties? The George Romero "Dead" movies were not in any way metaphorical, nor was the original "Godzilla."

Old Lynch's Sex Paragraph (Phil D.), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 13:23 (one year ago) Permalink

"The Host" also had nothing whatsoever to say about American militarism and imperialism, it was just a monster movie and THAT'S ALL.

Old Lynch's Sex Paragraph (Phil D.), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 13:29 (one year ago) Permalink

I mean, also, they'll probably manage to mess up the psychological metaphors that are there already in the classic films

Never changed username before (cardamon), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 16:33 (one year ago) Permalink

By changing things around a bit but not enough, so as with most re-makes you end up with slop

Never changed username before (cardamon), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 16:34 (one year ago) Permalink

^ Trenchant

Never changed username before (cardamon), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 16:34 (one year ago) Permalink

wat if Frankenstein but made by isis

The Adventures Of Whiteman (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 16:38 (one year ago) Permalink

dotor jekyll but good 1 is bad

The Adventures Of Whiteman (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 16:40 (one year ago) Permalink

you may not remember anything about The Invisible Man but you probably know what he looks like.

Yes, he looks exactly like this:

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 13 June 2017 15:50 (one year ago) Permalink

Exactly.

Like, that's the only thing that makes these creatures a distinctly Universal property rather than just a gaggle of public domain characters that literally anyone can make a movie of.

The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T & the Women (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 15:50 (one year ago) Permalink

RLM opined that these properties would work well as low-budget scare fests, which is probably true, but just not broad enough to attract general/international audiences.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 13 June 2017 15:52 (one year ago) Permalink

good interview with Jake Johnson about working with Cruise
https://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/nation/jake-johnson-the-mummy-interview-spoilers

dunno that it makes me want to see it any more than I did before tho

Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 15:52 (one year ago) Permalink

I know his (reputation). He does his own stunts.

Ha, this is not the first facet of his reputation that would fly to mind.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 13 June 2017 15:55 (one year ago) Permalink

the main reason that the classic Universal monsters have remained in the public consciousness is their iconic appearances

this is absolutely otm and it's also partially the reason why these things are doomed to fail - the designs of those original universal monster movies are so fantastic that they inspired decades of terrible ripoffs and homages and parodies that universal has effectively painted themselves into a corner

you can't reinvent them because then you're squandering the potential of those indelible screen representations of the stories, but then you can't do them faithfully because every single one of them is now a knackered, wheezing cliche in the popular imagination

cast your vote for fully automated gay space luxury communism (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 15:58 (one year ago) Permalink

I could be convinced to shell out money to see Frankenberry vs. the Fruit Brute.

The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T & the Women (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:03 (one year ago) Permalink

We have scarier monsters now. They're called Republicans AMIR--*bullet exits skull*

The Marmadook (latebloomer), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:04 (one year ago) Permalink

Phantom of the Opera but with grime

The Adventures Of Whiteman (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:06 (one year ago) Permalink

Roadman of the Opera

The Adventures Of Whiteman (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:07 (one year ago) Permalink

I'm trying to think of a body of water that is hipper and fresher than the Black Lagoon. The Creature from the Limo Hot Tub, maybe?

The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T & the Women (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:16 (one year ago) Permalink

but then you can't do them faithfully because every single one of them is now a knackered, wheezing cliche in the popular imagination

― cast your vote for fully automated gay space luxury communism (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:58

Don't think that's a real obstacle. As long as the story isn't too cliched.

I wonder how much claim universal has over the monster likenesses now, or even a few decades ago? Can't imagine them being able to sue anyone easily.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:20 (one year ago) Permalink

I could be convinced to shell out money to see Frankenberry vs. the Fruit Brute.

The untold story of Count Chocula, loosely based on Vlad the Impaler.

jmm, Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:26 (one year ago) Permalink

the untold story of vlad the impaler, loosely based on count chocula

cast your vote for fully automated gay space luxury communism (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:30 (one year ago) Permalink

I would like to see a Count Chocula film played completely straight. The full origin story of how Chocula, once a man, became a creature of the night with an unquenchable thirst for chocolate. Very grim, very dark. Like 98% cacao dark.

The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T & the Women (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:34 (one year ago) Permalink

Budget for 98% cacao prohibitive. Plus, not enough dark chocolate consumption in China.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:45 (one year ago) Permalink

The Ottomans want to impose their Turkish delights on Christendom. That's a movie.

jmm, Tuesday, 13 June 2017 17:05 (one year ago) Permalink

I would like to see a Count Chocula film played completely straight. The full origin story of how Chocula, once a man, became a creature of the night with an unquenchable thirst for chocolate. Very grim, very dark. Like 98% cacao dark.

we live in a world where riverdale exists so

cast your vote for fully automated gay space luxury communism (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 17:19 (one year ago) Permalink

It would have been really easy to make a scary Mummy movie. Like, a found footage trapped in a tomb movie (I'm sure it's been done). Or basically, It Follows, but a Mummy.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 13 June 2017 17:20 (one year ago) Permalink

but then you can't do them faithfully because every single one of them is now a knackered, wheezing cliche in the popular imagination

― cast your vote for fully automated gay space luxury communism (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:58

And King Kong or Godzilla isn't? (In theory, any remake can be done well. In practice, Sturgeon's Law is in full effect.)

The Ottomans want to impose their Turkish delights on Christendom. That's a movie.

― jmm, Tuesday, June 13, 2017 1:05 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You are Steve Bannon and I claim my five pounds.

Diana Fire (j.lu), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 19:02 (one year ago) Permalink

yes, you're describing this movie:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pyramid_(film)

xposts

Max-Headroom-drops-a-deuce-while-shredding (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 19:14 (one year ago) Permalink

^image nicked from the Facebook page of film critic John Charles

Bernie Lugg (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 15 June 2017 18:44 (one year ago) Permalink

you can't do them faithfully because every single one of them is now a knackered, wheezing cliche in the popular imagination

no, this is the kind of thinking that has resulted in so many forgettable re-imaginings that imo the original designs are novel again. if they went full-on og Frankenstein w slightly updated take on the classic look, they could make it work. look at Monster Squad, they brought back all the classic monsters and made them work, even the mummy was made creepy again w the trapped in that closet. they just need people who can write a decent movie.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 15 June 2017 19:19 (one year ago) Permalink

It's always been frustrating because I'm all about the classic/gothic horror aesthetic, it's probably 80% of the reason I like horror but there's really not that many good scripts in the films. And whenever there's a return to it, the stories are usually hackneyed. There's no reason you have to keep using those plots.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 15 June 2017 20:04 (one year ago) Permalink

three months pass...

As the story notes, it's likely going the deep prequel route instead...but is it?

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 3 October 2017 23:05 (one year ago) Permalink

one year passes...

The Dark Universe is dead, long live (to quote Variety) “a fresh strategy for the Universal monsters properties, bringing creative directors with distinctive visions to the classic characters.”

https://io9.gizmodo.com/a-new-invisible-man-film-rises-as-the-dark-universe-die-1832124202

Ned Raggett, Monday, 28 January 2019 18:04 (two months ago) Permalink

Aw, does this mean we'll never get to see Seth Rogen as Lou Costello?

Brex Avery (Noodle Vague), Monday, 28 January 2019 18:09 (two months ago) Permalink

Can't wait to consume the fresh content generated by the Universal Synergisticdiversificationverse!

See you later, I'm going to go take a look at this suicide robot. (Old Lunch), Monday, 28 January 2019 18:11 (two months ago) Permalink

That shitty promo photo for this will never not be funny

gray say nah to me (wins), Monday, 28 January 2019 18:20 (two months ago) Permalink

Johnny Depp was the actor originally expected to play the Invisible Man, and though he is not thought to be part of this movie, Variety’s sources suggest it could happen in the future. The same goes for actors like Javier Bardem and even Cruise’s character: They could appear in future movies, but it’s not definite. For now, the idea is to encourage individual filmmakers to make great movies, and see what happens.

they will not appear in future movies

omar little, Monday, 28 January 2019 18:25 (two months ago) Permalink

https://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2017/05/31/31-universal-monsterverse-dark-universe.w700.h700.jpg

Ah yes, all your faves - there’s the mummy of course, and the Dracula, and the wolf man, and that must be the Frankenstein sitting down there, and who’s that on the end? Oh, how could I forget, the black lagoon!

Oh no wait it’s five checked-out randos. Can’t fucking wait for them to cross over with each other.

gray say nah to me (wins), Monday, 28 January 2019 18:25 (two months ago) Permalink

Russell Crowe with the expression of a man who's come home to see an uncut lawn and a terrified son

omar little, Monday, 28 January 2019 18:27 (two months ago) Permalink

That photo was edited together, iirc. Can't you just feel the chemistry?

jmm, Monday, 28 January 2019 18:29 (two months ago) Permalink

I watched The Mummy and it's remarkable how they took a plot that was about 3/4 of a movie and then slapped half of a different film into the middle of it and still somehow only came out with less than a single complete work

mh, Monday, 28 January 2019 18:36 (two months ago) Permalink

I've never heard of this thing, just clicked on the thread in the expectation that it was about laughing at the universally dark universe we all live in and got to say I'm pretty disappointed

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 28 January 2019 18:40 (two months ago) Permalink

I was hoping for a debunking of dark matter a la string theory

david waster phallus (darraghmac), Monday, 28 January 2019 18:56 (two months ago) Permalink

Johnny Depp was the actor originally expected to play the Invisible Man


and now he’s the actor we all wish would disappear

maxwell’s silver hang suite (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 28 January 2019 18:58 (two months ago) Permalink

Let's all bow our heads in honor of Camaraderie's thirst for humorous anomie.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 28 January 2019 18:58 (two months ago) Permalink

Johnny Depp was the actor originally expected to play the Invisible Man

Pretty sure Johnny Depp is already playing the Invisible Man in most movies. He's usually just walking around in the background and stuff, but you kind of have to squint.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 28 January 2019 19:10 (two months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

I'm trying to think of a body of water that is hipper and fresher than the Black Lagoon.

― The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T & the Women (Old Lunch), Tuesday, June 13, 2017 12:16 PM (one year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The Creature from the Gowanus Canal? He's coming for your microbrews...and a hipster hottie in a vintage bathing suit?

In the meantime, the Invisble Man remake may have solved its Depp problem: https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2467738/the-invisible-man-reboot-may-have-found-its-first-new-star

Anne Hedonia (j.lu), Monday, 4 March 2019 20:20 (one month ago) Permalink

I hope they cast her as the titular star and still bafflingly go with The Invisible Man as the title.

Gary Ornmigh, Heywood's son (Old Lunch), Monday, 4 March 2019 20:25 (one month ago) Permalink

one month passes...

it's aliiiiiiiiive!

Elisabeth Moss, who was in early talks for Universal-Blumhouse’s The Invisible Man last month, is officially on board with the latest rendition of the classic monster character.

The project reps a re-team for Moss with producer Jason Blum after the recent $220M-global grossing success of Jordan Peele’s Us. Invisible Man will shoot in Australia. The opening weekend for Us became the highest-grossing ever for an original horror title.

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:48 (one week ago) Permalink

And prompted by the wild success of an original horror title, we've opted to produce the 415th film adaptation of a 150 year old horror property.

Oold Lunch (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:54 (one week ago) Permalink

laugh all you want, cynic, but i for one am excited about the possibility of elisabeth moss' invisible man going toe-to-toe with russell crowe's mr hyde and tom cruise's err whoever the fuck tom cruise was in the mummy

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:59 (one week ago) Permalink

The Daddy?

Oold Lunch (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 14:00 (one week ago) Permalink


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