Property Brothers, the thread

This is possibly the least dramatic television in North America. Twin brothers from Canada take house hunters to a new property that has everything they want, then announce that it is way over their budget. They explain that they can get them better value by buying them a fixer-upper and renovating it (one brother has the paperwork and the wardrobe to be a realtor; the other brother has the paperwork and wardrobe of a general contractor). They do this. At the end, despite completely predictable, periodic feints in the direction of going over cost and schedule, the house hunters get everything they want at the exact price they budgeted. It is might be the most scripted reality show on HGTV, which is saying a lot - none of the buyers ever appear to be able to actually think for themselves, and they use real estate jargon liberally in their speech.

I would love to see a one hour special of these guys doing a project that actually goes horribly wrong. I would invite people over and make an event out of it.

Ha:

https://theawl.com/the-best-parts-of-the-property-brothers-music-video-a22a9d6ee374

Jonathan and Drew Scott net worth: Jonathan and Drew Scott are Canadian reality television personalities, who have a combined net worth of $20 million.

http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-businessmen/business-executives/jonathan-and-drew-scott-net-worth/

The nation rewards talent.

They have the most normcore west elm-wave taste in interior design.

All they ever want to do is knock down walls to "open up" the space. Like separate rooms aren't good enough for them or something.

Yes. And if you want something other than a tile backsplash and white or gray kitchen cabinets, fuck you.

The one on right now features a couple who are as tall as the brothers. They also look more like brother and sister than husband and wife. It is strange.

the dude uses 14 vegetables in his omelette

they are too tall for standard kitchen countertops!! it hurts their backs to cook!!

the dramatic component is really just when they catch a terrible client and Jonathan has to not murder them

this show is ehhh but house hunters is the best

the scott bros are part of the problem!!!

http://www.vulture.com/2017/09/the-ugliness-behind-hgtv-never-ending-fantasy-loop.html

Jonathan and Drew Scott are a pair of metrosexual, gaga-handsome, Canadian identical-twin brothers whose early quests for fame were unsuccessful, perhaps owing to the decline of evil-twin narratives in daytime television. They had both wanted to be actors, but no luck. Drew spent $100,000 trying to break into the acting world. Jonathan wanted to be a magician with a big, David Copperfield type of show until someone stole all his props and he had to file for bankruptcy. In 2004, they opened a real-estate-services company — Jonathan had become a general contractor and Drew a real-estate broker — to support them in their pursuits. While the company was successful, the entertainment thing never panned out. And then, as in one of those career seminars in which you are encouraged to write down all of your strengths and combine them into one ideal job, the break: They would use their skills choosing and renovating houses and their cheerful, hammy acting abilities to star in a reality-television show. It was an immediate hit and has had several iterations, but it has now settled on a format: The twins show the buyers the house of their dreams and then tell them it’s way over their budget. They persuade them to choose a so-so house, and then Drew — whose work consists merely of a day driving the buyers to properties — lounges around in his flat-front trousers and skinny ties making such catty comments about his brother’s grunty physical labor that they seem more like a couple than twins.

I think these guys should star in a David Lynch film

if you want something other than a tile backsplash and white or gray kitchen cabinets, fuck you.

i feel like hgtv has had such an ugly, pernicious influence on home design in general. every "rehab" in the historic neighborhood i live in looks exactly the fucking same as all these shows

I fucking hate tile backsplashes. I don't even pay that much attention to home decor overall, but I really fucking hate those. I remember when we bought our place there was all this pressure around getting a tile backsplash and so many places we saw had them.

@PropertyBrother @mrsilverscott @MrDrewScott: My mom really really wants to buy your furniture & can't. Also she wants to know how I'm doing pic.twitter.com/7XO0iKzWnd

— Stacey Molski (@staceymolski) October 26, 2017

This show is so meticulously planned and scripted and managed that I just assume I've everything now even when HGTV is clearly telling me that it is an #AllNew episode.

Today, there's one where they're starting the reno and the family comes in to help, Jonathan says "oh you brought the whole crew with you" to the dad, then the dad makes a joke about his kids being good at demolishing things, and the deja vu was so fierce I maintained I had seen this one before for a good five minutes.

I hate the microwave under the countertop

https://sailingwiththescotts.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/swts-dates-banner.jpg

we have activated HGTV GO on the roku specifically to watch old episodes of this

quarantine is breaking us

as far as I know, this is one of the shows where the people on the show have already picked out or have limited it to a select few, and they’re required to show they have something like $60k available for renovations. The ones they tour are often ones the show just throws in as the too-expensive option

I think one of the other shows only selects people who have already made an offer and had it accepted!

my favorite Property Brothers shtick is when one of the walls they want to blow out is obviously structural, and it’s evident to anyone who has ever seen house houses work. guess we gotta bring in the guy to add a support beam for the 500th time!

if you're that desperate for a quarantine show i must stop by and recommend bravo's BELOW DECK. as close as reality tv has come to art imo.

Oh yeah is that the one about charter yacht crews?

my 13 yr old niece just told me she is really into below deck. i feel like i must watch this now.

yes. the yacht crew form a standard reality show drama factory, but the charter guests which change every two episodes or so are a magnificent wild card.

when one of the walls they want to blow out is obviously structural, and it’s evident to anyone who has ever seen house houses work. guess we gotta bring in the guy to add a support beam for the 500th time!

okay this makes me extremely angry -- i only know of the existence of this show via ads on the scrabble go app. But y'all make it sound like this would be the construction equivalent of some horrible Fox News show. I kinda wish they would do a special episode that consists entirely of everyone sitting and waiting at the building department, then sitting and waiting at a permit counter while counter staff looks at the plans, and then gets sent to meet with the department engineer who is not available, and so the episode ends with them sitting and waiting and working themselves into self-important rage while a sad lobby of non-telegenic contractors and elderly homeowners look at them in disbelief

clearly I need to make creative use of my rage and develop a pitch and spec script for Permit Counter: a new reality tv show where each episode features a different person or group of people who need permits and their attempts to get the permits approved