On Your Marks, Get Set, Baaaaake! A Thread for Great British Baking Show / Bake Off & all of its sundry delights

Mary Berry: Angel
Paul Hollywood: silver gorilla fox

My knowledge only covers Netflix US-aired seasons which are the English Bake Off seasons 4/5/6 (it's confusing I know)

Let us now discuss Russet Gandalfs, bread lions, genoese sponges & why you dont throw your baked alaska in the bin

S1 - Nancy is a BOSS i love her
Scottish Norman is adorable
Russet Gandalf Ian <3

S2 - Ruby is my fave
Kimberly is a genius
Frances is lovely but her teeth scare me
Howard <3

s3 NADIYA FOREVER but seriously I have seem this season 3 times and i love it so much, they're all lovely esp Matt the Fireman

sue & mel are grate i love them

so weird seeing it called "baking show", it's like calling 30 rock "television building"

not thrilled about it either, trying not to dwell

soz

lol no its cool *rages-*

Great British Flour & Sugar Hour

gifs i have loved

King Luis

http://goodtoknow.media.ipcdigital.co.uk/111/000012e0d/6079/Luis.gif

Matt the Fireman <3

https://2982-presscdn-29-70-pagely.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Great-British-Bake-Off-Mel-and-Matt.gif

Norman the Scot & his adorable semaphore

http://tvdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/norman.gif

We have all been this Dorrett

http://i.imgur.com/kBUntMB.gif

The Dorrett thing is SO SAD

I always scream when people drop their food, or like a layer falls off the top off a cake - I don't know why, it makes me really nervous, like watching a small child on a really tall climbing frame.

Mr Veg found the first 3 seasons of Bake-Off for me on the t0rentz

Season 1 format is rather different! The tent travels round to different cities, they eliminate 2 bakers each episode, and Sue and Mel do a lot of 'history of the biscuit' 'history of the cake' interstitial stuff during challenges so it's not 100% baking heavy the way it is now. Which isn't great, cuts too much into the baking which is the best part. Also episode 1 inside the tent was shot very jumpily, and not very well light, so it wasn't nearly as colorful as it quickly became in the next episode. Thankfully they fixed that pretty quick.
Mary Berry's hair is very flat!
Bakers call out to the judges and ask how much time is left!
And there's some dude doing the voiceover which is v weird.

Favorite moment so far was Ep 1 with Sue sitting on a blanket inside a stone ring with an eccentric-voiced longhaired baking historian discussing bannocks and I have NO idea how she sat through that without bursting into gales of laughter. I wish I could find a photo of him.

oh and:
signature bakes are a little bit looser: bake any kind of cake, bake any kind of biscuit
technicals so far have been basics like victoria sponges or scones, but the bakers are given the ingredients only: no method at all

and there's a weird little canteen area in back where bakers can go up and ask for items, one lady ran over and asked for double cream.

it's kind of fun seeing how it's all evolved!

god the showstoppers are out of control on S1

SIX different types of bread rolls, half a dozen each! 3 savory, 3 sweet

SIX canapes, 3 savory, 3 sweet, half a dozen each!

Three puddings: suet, baked, crumble!

they must have drowned in leftovers, holy shit

i would have ptsd after these

it is crazy how good this show is at building flopsweat tension around some of the lowest stakes imaginable

Every week has the "are they going to complete this in time for the judges" montage before the end of the round, and ALMOST EVERY TIME it's completely fine, and yet it worries me every single episode

totally!! it's a very chill show compared to top chef etc but I still get stressed out

s1 almost done

- can't STAND ruth and it makes me feel bad bc shes a good baker etc. idk. buu her stupid "boy bait" pudding and making quiche for the finale "for the men" it's like she's pandering to paul and it drives me barmy

-they have clearly done some work reigning in paul bc he was a borderline WANKER in this season. key moment: dismissed ruth's cupcakes as too girly AS THE ONLY MAN ON A PANEL OF WOMEN!! and farting on about stuff looking commercial & professional ragh i love him now but i could slap him almost once every episode

- mary berry telling miranda she reminded her of hrself when she was young <3 that would make my life

S2 report:

Next to Tamal, Rob is the most beautiful creature I have seen in this show so far

*dies*

though I would have eloped with Keith in college imo

Hi! I'm watching the Netflix season now, and it's so refreshing watching a reality competition without any producer-mandated villains.

Also, I forget who said it, but when I heard somebody mention "roasted veg" I got a good chuckle.

Also also I have a crush on Kate.

Like she is more Captain Chaos than Jordan ever was.

Also also also I decided to put closed captions on because SO MANY ACCENTS, but even with the subtitles, I still have no clue what the contestants are talking about.

Kate is v cool but def has captain chaos tendencies

Though lets be real, the *true* Captain Chaos is Jordan Crazy Teeth

Maybe Jordan didn't last long enough to impress his chaos on me, but with Kate, she's up one week, then down the next, then oh noes her dough is still raw and yet she ends up in second place anyway! She is a roller coaster!

I dunno I just picture Jordan covered head to foot in flour with a saucepan burning in the background

Kate's hair fascinated me. Like this amazing curly braided amazingness. And she seemed like she'd be cool to hang out with

Speaking of hair, Chetna's haircut is soooo stylish, love it.

yes! also her grey is so good

Chetna was my baking crush

Russet Gandalf was p cute but I think I kiiiind of fancy Richard? Dimples + pencil behind the ear is a winning combo

and i have a girlcrush on Nancy. She's saucy

It's only natural that the Queen of Spices has pepper in her hair! xxxps

Very distracted by Deborah and those pictures of her husband and child which are just really hard to make sense of given her apparent age.

And why are there only photos to show? Did she steal someone else's photos like she steals ingredients??

dude that's pretty ageist & mean

I mean yeah, sorry...but...don't you wonder about people's lives? There's a story there.

there's a differemce between "wondering" & "side-eyeing"

I finished Season 2 of English bake off & it's pretty marvellous

Jo's such a love - bubbly but terrified, Essex mum finally doing "something for herself". I read online that her husband was doing 16 years in jail for money laundering at the time. Which just made me love her more. she seemed like she mightve had a hard life & that confirmed it

and MaryAnne!! What a treat. Rugby champion, baking historian, mum, wizard. Amazing. She has a book!

Janet was hilarious - mr veg said her facial expressions reminded him of Beaker from the muppets

lots of great women in this season.

As for the guys -

dreamboat Rod turned out to be a bit of a disaster, very disorganized, bit too cavalier. he definitely put the wind up Paul, I've never seen the silver fox come down on a baker like he did with Rod.

sweet baby Jason had sooooooo much potential, very talented for one so young but was just a tad too green for the big leagues. Definitely fun to watch though.

I just finished the Chetna season! I really admired Richard for his ability to laugh at himself, and it was sad to see him crumble in the last week, though I would've been fine with any of the final three winning. (When they showed a picture of a young Richard with a full head of hair, I can see why Veg might crush on him!)

One episode into the next season, and watching Ruby struggle with her lack of self-confidence is so painful (I empathize with her completely), I'm not sure I can handle a whole season's worth (I caught a random episode of this season on PBS and know she hangs around for at least a little while).

Rubes is one of my favorites, I love her so much.

She looks like the daughter of Saffron Burrows and Elizabeth Berkeley, plus her look of utter astonishment when she was Star Baker in bread week was lolz.

That aside, this cast is so much less likeable than the previous one! So many stubborn people and/or people whose insecurities are showing. :(

Yeah... it grew on me though. Francis is kind of a crazy sorcerer with her amazing showstoppers, i'm in awe of her creativity

Slight crush on Kimberley from that season. And Howard is all-time great.

Richard had a weird Martin Freeman vibe, I thought

(in a good way)

I wrote a tl:dr blog post about GBBO for my own amusement...

http://tourdefrump.blogspot.com/2017/03/perfection-failure-and-why-great.html

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/mar/16/noel-fielding-and-sandi-toksvig-to-host-new-great-british-bake-off

Noel Fielding and Sandi Toksvig to host new Great British Bake Off

New presenters will join new judge Prue Leith and Bake Off stalwart Paul Hollywood in the Channel 4 version of the show

That should kill it off then.

definitely agreed with the Tash and Saku appreciation, i also adored Nicky. Dan seems like a good baker and a good sport. the whole rest of the cast hasn't clicked with me.... I sympathized with Christy's struggle this past ep but never really got personally involved. idk.

I never know whether I can safely look at this thread as an American, aren't we several weeks behind the UK broadcast?

i think last year it was just tuesday - friday of the same week. maybe it's changed.

last week in the UK was week 6, "botanicals", on tuesday it's week 7, "desserts"

(week 7 already)

It's Tuesday UK and same ep Friday on US Netflix, yup.

(of course, adjusting to UK concepts of "dessert," "pudding" and "biscuit" is beyond the power of any chart or timetable)

why did i say maree?! i meant NICKY obv

rohan won my heart when he sighed after a crap bake “you just want an easy life”

Yeah, I liked Rowan too. I don't really care about the rest of them. Saku is funny, but I'm not sure she's that good a baker.

i dont really mind that no-one is an amazing standout this year

the even playing field makes it more chill? idk. its an amateur contest after all & the proliferation of crap bakes is reassuring lol

Really enjoying the show this year, after barely finishing it last year. The bakers are good. The challenges are better. I think Noel to be v funny, and Alison a good balance - warmer to the bakers, where Matt Lucas was just stiff, awkward and alienating, but she's still funny. Was debating with my partner whether to bother this year, but the other weekend we got through three eps in one sitting.

To be clear, I think Saku is an inconsistent baker under these circumstances but I would absolutely eat anything she made for me and also she is just great on TV; absolutely the right combination of endearing and hilarious that makes me root for her even when it looks like she’s bungling the challenge.

i really miss rowan, he was so funny. you could tell they gave him a star turn in his final episode

i really miss rowan, he was so funny. you could tell they gave him a star turn in his final episode

I like alison a lot too! and just going to ignore the noel slander…

the “backstories” are always irrelevant imo, they’re making dessert this isn’t like an election or something. and over the years the quality of baker has skyrocketed, they’re all like semi-professional bakers at least anyway afaict

at first i thought Dan was giving me Richard the builder vibes from the King Louis season but he’s starting to irrationally grate on me a little i think bc he’s so incessantly upbeat lol

omg this week’s technical is *chef’s kiss*

I did like the fact that Paul continued to complain about it into the next day, when it was clearly his fault that people didn't have enough time to do it properly.

I also love Saku and want to hang out with her and her family - they all seem like a laugh, and she clearly has stories and jokes to burn. Who knows, maybe she'll end up on Gogglebox. That would be great.

I'm enjoying this season. I like all the contestants, I want them all to do well, and I don't want any of them to go. Also, Alison Hammond brings a cheerful, easy warmth that Matt Lucas and Sandi Toksvig were never able to supply. It's nice. I like nice.

US viewers, you have a glorious technical to look forward to.

I also like that they all seem lovely on Extra Slice too - Dana was a hoot on that last week.

I did not enjoy that technical at all. I do not enjoy watching a parade of fail when it's clearly not their fault, like when they make them do ice creams and chocolate on the hottest day of the year. But they were all very graceful and supportive and able to laugh about it as it was just such a collective disaster.

Yes, when the best half of your chosen baker who have already been through some quite hard screening *all* fail to do what you set them then the fault is with you, you walking mid-life crisis and not them. Still sulking about it just exposes you as the male menopause personality crisis you are.

I did like the fact that Paul continued to complain about it into the next day, when it was clearly his fault that people didn't have enough time to do it properly.

It's all on Paul. I be he didn't complete his in 90s minutes or whatever.

Matty has quietly become my favourite. I sort of feel he won't last much longer but he is very good value.

At least on Masterchef the Professionals (cooking doesn't get tougher than this!) you watch Marcus or Monica do the skills test in twenty minutes, so you know what is just about possible in that time if you're really good (I know there's editing, but y'know). And the producers will probably say "oh, there has to be jeopardy, nobody wants to watch people succeed at making a load of almost identical treacle puddings", but that is exactly what I want. I want to see people succeed and make lovely things and be pleased with themselves.

Yeah, I don't really give a toss if they're 5-10 mins over - these are amateur bakers! That technical was just a joke tbh.

Paul Hollywood is just the Jeremy Clarkson that gives middle aged women the horn instead of middle aged men.

Ugh no, he’s the silverback we all love to hate.

He's softened a bit over the last couple of years but he's still very obviously a turd

Yeah, I don't think he's a good guy, necessarily, but I wouldn't put him in the same bracket as Clarkson.

I suppose not, Clarkson isn't that bad.

ok so:

1. this is the second time dan made it through when he arguably shouldn't have (first one was abbi). this gets on my nerves mostly because i find dan kind of irritating
2. they need to chill with the baking-related double entendres and innuendo, feel like it used to be just an occasional thing every season ("i'll eat a bit of carpet") but now it feels like every episode there's some wink-wink-nudge-nudge thing about sausages or filling cream puffs or whatever and it's gotten really corny

Yes and yes

Something about Dan's Nice Bloke Veneer is slipping in a slightly uncanny way - although it's probably just down to the insane pressure of whatever it is they're doing

i said to mr veg that dan feels like that intensely optimistic guy in your office who has been there 30 years without a raise & is right on the edge of offing himself in the parking lot

(sorry that is too dark)

Simultaneous LOL and "awwww"

of course you are basically describing most british people

He's trying too hard - thai curry cheesecake or whatever, for ex. He is the kind of contestant who will go out via an unforced error. My mother-in-law said the other night she doesn't like him because he talks through his teeth.

i found Christy very tiresome with her crying & fretting. And she’s so #livelaughlove always going on about her family like it depressed me how little inner life/confidence she had
she was a good baker but omg she drove me up a wall

obv i am a monater

*monster

Christy is so stressful to watch. No idea what the casting team were doing there, she just felt like she was teetering on the verge of a breakdown all the way through with no redemption coming at all at any stage.

Dan's absolutely that guy that befriends you on day one of your holiday and then you can't get rid of him the rest of the week.

i found Christy very tiresome with her crying & fretting

yes, omg. "oh. oh no. it's not worked. oh no. it's awful. i'm going home. oh now." [manages masterpiece] what an annoying drip.

she'd wind my partner up too, who would then say, "oh, but I think it's pretty clear she has some bad self-esteem issues" and then we'd be both feeling bad for finding cristy irritating. but then it would be "oh, oh no, oh god, it's not worked, oh".

i find dan a bit irritating too, but again, i don't think he's awful. I'm already happy if any of the remaining dudes win. i'm pretty certain it'll be tasha, who is just very good and always nails the flavours even if there are issues elsewhere. i find josh a bit of a charisma vacuum but he's clearly talented. i really love matty's vibe, i don't think he has a chance of winning but if he makes top 3 i'll be very glad.

Interesting - I don’t find her anxiety offputting - it seems like the correct level of anxiety for a very stressful show? Like, a coping mechanism rather than compliment-fishing self pity (which is more annoying). IMO there’s something steely behind it - like she’d be the first to shiv you in prison if needs be.

The "oh. oh no. it's not worked. oh no. it's awful. i'm going home. oh now." [manages masterpiece] " schtick worked for Ruby Tandoh and even got her a media career out of it. Maybe Christy should have thrown in stripping like a mardy teenager for it to have worked.

(fwiw it bugs me too but there's someone like it nearly every series and I found her "as a mother" more annoying)

i loved Ruby so yeah idk why christy bugged me in that regard

i see myself in people that are so hard on themselves they are not having a good time when they should be, so that contestant type in reality tv is alternately funny and compelling to me

you would think i would be the same but no lol

Ruby was spiky and you couldn’t imagine her typing ‘Hunni’ in the group chat.

Ruby was wetter and moodier than any proverbial. I could imagine her not being in the group chat because her mum had limited her screen time because she didn't clear her plate of chicken nuggets even though she said she wanted them and they're her favourite.

I also seem to remember some very clumsy flirting with Hollywood on both their parts and some 'they are definitely shagging' on forums like DS, which she shut down a long time after.

I can’t decide which of those paragraphs is more “eww”.

She was really the first Big Brother contestant on Bake off, that is she was clearly in it for the fame afterwards rather than the baking. If you remember from the time, Danny from the previous year broke her NDA on a blog explaining what the application process was, which exposed Ruby to have made it all up (about how she knew nothing about it, her friends applied without telling her, she hadn't really even baked while she was at university etc).

But then of course Frances won her year, who was the first decoration over baking contestant. Did an awful lot of stunt cakes with props, not all of which worked - I remember a giant box of matches that might have been bread sticks? Feel like she's had the biggest influence over the show in the past few years.

i still make ruby's recipes all the time, baked her pikelets recipe this weekend, my daughter's favourite treat breakfast.