Descriptions of Steve Bannon

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a running thread to be polled later. To get us started:

a potato someone dredged out of a restroom wastebasket
a garbage bag half-filled with mayonnaise
a gin-soaked wad of toilet paper

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:14 (nine months ago) Permalink

forgot who said it, but I enjoyed one on Twitter observing how Bannon must hate the fact that he looks more like a kindly old lesbian than a cutthroat Nazi.

evol j, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:16 (nine months ago) Permalink

from twitter:

Slimer from Ghostbusters before he became a ghost

voodoo chili, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:16 (nine months ago) Permalink

a poached egg that somehow grew hair

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:17 (nine months ago) Permalink

a brillo pad that hates

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:17 (nine months ago) Permalink

Michael Shannon after a super-size-me monthlong diet consisting entirely of cigarettes

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:17 (nine months ago) Permalink

a giant blancmange rolled in pubes

bayland rippenkroeger, stunt artiste (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:18 (nine months ago) Permalink

a septic shit-vessel with oozing pustules

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:18 (nine months ago) Permalink

haha bizarro

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:18 (nine months ago) Permalink

a peach three months past expiry

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:18 (nine months ago) Permalink

a fun one from a comedian friend of mine from college:

"Steve Bannon always looks like he just finished a hot dog eating contest"

voodoo chili, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:19 (nine months ago) Permalink

Baloo the Bear

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:19 (nine months ago) Permalink

a polar bear that let itself go

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:20 (nine months ago) Permalink

The "before" picture in a racist weight-loss ad

voodoo chili, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:20 (nine months ago) Permalink

a hate crime with overactive sweat glands

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:21 (nine months ago) Permalink

a grapefruit stuffed with moss

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:22 (nine months ago) Permalink

A sea cucumber wrapped in a carpet sample.

Transformed From The Norm By The Nuclear Goop (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:23 (nine months ago) Permalink

Steve Bannon at the Movies

Really should direct porn tho'.

xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:24 (nine months ago) Permalink

not enough lips, too many chins

bayland rippenkroeger, stunt artiste (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:24 (nine months ago) Permalink

A homemade Jabba the Hutt figure.

Transformed From The Norm By The Nuclear Goop (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:28 (nine months ago) Permalink

https://www.yahoo.com/news/human-forebear-bag-beast-no-anus-study-162843979.html

'a bag-like beast with no anus'

j., Tuesday, 31 January 2017 21:45 (nine months ago) Permalink

The bloated, desiccated corpse of William Steig's Shrek

voodoo chili, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:20 (nine months ago) Permalink

Someone on my Facebook feed compared him to this guy, but I don't know who he is!

https://scontent.fman2-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/16387852_10208359109284476_993785383970036496_n.jpg?oh=6d8ddf1df987fc00f65c026f4897152f&oe=5909AD8B

Bongo Herbert (Ward Fowler), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:28 (nine months ago) Permalink

'otis the town drunk from mayberry but dogged by whispers from the neighbors about his race-porn trading club'

j., Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:32 (nine months ago) Permalink

the poster boy for alcoholic rosacea

bayland rippenkroeger, stunt artiste (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:35 (nine months ago) Permalink

A slug that's spent several years gestating inside the lower intestine of the cadaver of Philip Seymour Hoffman before hatching out inside a wedge of impacted excrement, then copulating with its mate in the slime path of a gastropod Eddie Izzard, proceeding to chew off its own penis and finally vomiting the remains into a dunghill of rotten cabbage.

めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:40 (nine months ago) Permalink

(I researched the life-cycle of a slug for that one)

めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:40 (nine months ago) Permalink

can i quote you on that one?

scott seward, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:45 (nine months ago) Permalink

jowly october revolution LARPer

j., Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:45 (nine months ago) Permalink

please do

めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:46 (nine months ago) Permalink

A BBC light entertainer, on his first holiday after the sentence

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:47 (nine months ago) Permalink

Steve Bannon Looks Like A Motherfucker With Some Dark Secrets

めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:48 (nine months ago) Permalink

A holiday to Thailand

めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:49 (nine months ago) Permalink

Philip Seymour Hoffman's disinterred half rotten corpse packed to bulging point with cheap sasuage meat.

chap, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 22:56 (nine months ago) Permalink

Poop with a cigarette in it

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:00 (nine months ago) Permalink

stray turd

j., Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:02 (nine months ago) Permalink

Satan's big toe

voodoo chili, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:02 (nine months ago) Permalink

like someone tried to bleach a prolapsed anus

constitutional crises they fly at u face (will), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:03 (nine months ago) Permalink

Bruce Vilanch's untreated hemorrhoid

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:04 (nine months ago) Permalink

A cigar box that's been extensively utilized as an onanistic receptacle.

Transformed From The Norm By The Nuclear Goop (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:06 (nine months ago) Permalink

misplaced jerk-off sock

j., Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:07 (nine months ago) Permalink

An inverted sea lion spritzed with Binaca.

Transformed From The Norm By The Nuclear Goop (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:08 (nine months ago) Permalink

unhinged voice of the racist lumpyproletariat

j., Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:11 (nine months ago) Permalink

your future murderer

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:18 (nine months ago) Permalink

your dad's sad laid off friend who asks to store his old paperwork in boxes in your garage while he looks for an apartment after he gets kicked out of the house by his wife but he never comes back for the stuff and he won't answer your dad's calls and finally you help your dad throw the stuff away.

scott seward, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:29 (nine months ago) Permalink

america's creepy uncle

nomar, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:30 (nine months ago) Permalink

human yeast infection

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:34 (nine months ago) Permalink

lobotomized hitchens

rip van wanko, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:39 (nine months ago) Permalink

unctuous doomcrepe

nashwan, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 23:43 (nine months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5Wpn3dFrEs

Bannon is gone
I hope he's drifting out to sea
He always loved to swim away
Maybe he'll find an island
With a shaded tree
Just like the one in our backyard

clemenza, Saturday, 19 August 2017 01:19 (three months ago) Permalink

“The Trump presidency that we fought for, and won, is over,” Bannon said Friday, shortly after confirming his departure. “We still have a huge movement, and we will make something of this Trump presidency. But that presidency is over. It’ll be something else. And there’ll be all kinds of fights, and there’ll be good days and bad days, but that presidency is over.”

http://www.weeklystandard.com/bannon-the-trump-presidency-that-we-fought-for-and-won-is-over./article/2009355

reggie (qualmsley), Saturday, 19 August 2017 03:02 (three months ago) Permalink

Breitbart's war on the Trump administration, carried out in the name of "Trumpism," will be quite a thinf.

Treeship, Saturday, 19 August 2017 04:42 (three months ago) Permalink

A thing even.

Treeship, Saturday, 19 August 2017 04:46 (three months ago) Permalink

bannon's huge movement

licking the yellow Toad next to the teleporter (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 19 August 2017 06:43 (three months ago) Permalink

he looks like the coroner of Margaritaville

— Jake Currie (@jakecurrie) January 30, 2017

rock and roll tucci coo (voodoo chili), Saturday, 19 August 2017 12:37 (three months ago) Permalink

pouring one out for Steve Bannon pic.twitter.com/Rqeozyej7D

— Clifford Vickrey (@cliffordvickrey) August 19, 2017

licking the yellow Toad next to the teleporter (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 19 August 2017 15:39 (three months ago) Permalink

Not sure if I'd be more or less disgusted without the miscellaneous black dots on the left leg. On the one hand they offer a measure of distraction from the totality of the thing, on the other hand eww.

tsrobodo, Saturday, 19 August 2017 22:43 (three months ago) Permalink

Create your own Steve Bannon action figure by simply drawing two eyes & a mouth on some mouldy Spam. pic.twitter.com/vi58muYcmL

— Glenn (@Frackpong) August 18, 2017

めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Sunday, 20 August 2017 13:08 (two months ago) Permalink

OK there's like a whole bunch of blogs about people trying to figure out what tf to do with a whole chicken that comes in a can

As an ilxor, I am uncompromising (El Tomboto), Sunday, 20 August 2017 23:19 (two months ago) Permalink

It's fully cooked, just get to eating

badg, Monday, 21 August 2017 00:36 (two months ago) Permalink

And the can is just the right size to contain all of the subsequent vomit.

Say, I Heard You Had a Quarrel With Your Best Girl (Old Lunch), Monday, 21 August 2017 03:20 (two months ago) Permalink

there is no can in the world big enough to contain all the subsequent vomit imo

licking the yellow Toad next to the teleporter (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 21 August 2017 08:37 (two months ago) Permalink

"...curiously putrescent head, like John Goodman ate the contents of a smoke alarm..." - I See You on FB

gyac, Monday, 21 August 2017 19:08 (two months ago) Permalink

thx 4 new screen name

frankfurters take on new glamour in this gleaming aspic (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 21 August 2017 19:30 (two months ago) Permalink

No, thank you.

Gravy Zebra (Old Lunch), Monday, 21 August 2017 19:56 (two months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

steve bannon, fashion plate

I'm just here to point out that Steve Bannon once again wore two button downs, one over the other, in public. pic.twitter.com/PGvn5ziZgj

— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) September 7, 2017

Wesley Shackleton explained "look at that beast." (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 7 September 2017 15:52 (two months ago) Permalink

you really haven't gone full bannon until you've layered two collared shirts over a visible t-shirt pic.twitter.com/SLqCSj8apr

— Max Tani (@maxwelltani) September 7, 2017

Wesley Shackleton explained "look at that beast." (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 7 September 2017 15:53 (two months ago) Permalink

Countdown to public sightings of Bannon wearing a duct-taped bath towel as a diaper.

Higgs Bosom (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 September 2017 15:58 (two months ago) Permalink

shirts over shirts was my airplane trick

chinavision!, Thursday, 7 September 2017 16:28 (two months ago) Permalink

those aren't shirts they're flopsweat absorbers

Οὖτις, Thursday, 7 September 2017 17:08 (two months ago) Permalink

Is it appropriate to refer to perspiration with a 90% alcohol content as 'sweat'?

Higgs Bosom (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 September 2017 17:17 (two months ago) Permalink

I'm just here to point out that Steve Bannon once again wore two button downs, one over the other, in public. pic.twitter.com/PGvn5ziZgj

— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) September 7, 2017

j., Friday, 8 September 2017 04:25 (two months ago) Permalink

lol sorry not fully up to date on my steve bannon descriptions

j., Friday, 8 September 2017 04:26 (two months ago) Permalink

I worked with a guy who did the same thing fwiw - button down on button down, button down over polo, two polos, etc. odd man.

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Friday, 8 September 2017 04:34 (two months ago) Permalink

yeah i knew one of those, but with him it was collars

there must be a study somewhere

j., Friday, 8 September 2017 04:49 (two months ago) Permalink

Paul Fussell:

"Wearing one shirt over another — Oxford-cloth button-down over a turtleneck, for example — is upper-middle-class, and the shirt worn underneath can ever be a dress shirt (solid color is best) with its own collar, a usage I’ve seen in warm weather on Madison Avenue in the upper eighties."

http://bit.ly/2eTwdKM

chinavision!, Friday, 8 September 2017 20:16 (two months ago) Permalink

He looks like someone kept the pigs head that David Cameron fucked in a fridge for 25 years. And then made it wear two shirts at once.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 8 September 2017 20:59 (two months ago) Permalink

Maybe he just attaches a buttoned collar to each of the layers of diseased skin sloughing off his torso?

attention vampire (MatthewK), Friday, 8 September 2017 21:26 (two months ago) Permalink

soft, textured, wooly, nubby <-- also works as a bannon desc.

j., Saturday, 9 September 2017 02:39 (two months ago) Permalink

Anyone else watch the 60 minutes interview?

Treeship, Sunday, 10 September 2017 23:41 (two months ago) Permalink

Seems too much like gawking at a freak show.

A is for (Aimless), Monday, 11 September 2017 05:04 (two months ago) Permalink

descriptions of the political scene by steven "comrade" bannon

Charlie Rose asked Bannon, appearing on “60 Minutes” in his first televised interview since departing the Trump administration on Aug. 18, if rumors were true that he had described Comey’s firing as the “biggest mistake in political history.”

“That probably would be too bombastic, even for me,” Bannon said, “but maybe modern political history. I don’t think there’s any doubt that if James Comey had not been fired, we would not have a special counsel,” Bannon said. “We would not have the Mueller investigation and the breadth that clearly Mr. Mueller is going for.”

translation from derp-speak: "comey was so corrupt he threw the election to 2 scoops, but 2 scoops is so impulsive and thin-skinned he couldn't wait for 'russia russia russia' to blow over"?

reggie (qualmsley), Monday, 11 September 2017 14:28 (two months ago) Permalink

How in the world could Rose have this guy on and not even mention the Mercers, the wingnut billionaire power couple without whose bankroll Bannon would be just another Alex Jones hawking brain pills and chemtrail remover? How could he let Bannon, who made his pile at Goldman Sachs and then made another pile in Hollywood, use the phrase “limousine liberals” without picking up a banana from the fruit bowl and throwing it at him?

http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a12216958/bannon-60-minutes/

reggie (qualmsley), Monday, 11 September 2017 15:31 (two months ago) Permalink

because charlie rose fucking sucks?

here's how **takes sip of duck urine** economics works (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 11 September 2017 15:33 (two months ago) Permalink

Top-notch here: http://www.avclub.com/photographer-reveals-how-60-minutes-shamefully-conceale-1803138078

As Duke shows, CBS’ craven attempt to create the misleading impression that Steve Bannon looks like all of America’s racist uncles have been teleported into one writhing, Cronenbergian flesh-sack where they duke it out over who gets to hold the Hustler is nothing but a petty attack on superficial appearances, one CBS was clearly hoping would detract from Bannon’s words about deporting Mexicans that dripped like honey from Bannon’s naturally smooth lavender lips. And it’s not just CBS! As Ann Coulter pointed out on Twitter, “Networks do this a lot. That’s why conservatives seem to look so much better on Fox News,” the only place where Ann Coulter is allowed to appear as though she has skin.

Hit to Death in the "Galactic Head" (kingfish), Monday, 11 September 2017 23:47 (two months ago) Permalink

steve bannon hasn't taken getting fired very well pic.twitter.com/Aky050Ragb

— derp, from online™️ (@D2_Derpinator) September 13, 2017

Οὖτις, Thursday, 14 September 2017 00:58 (two months ago) Permalink

Sarah Huckabee Sanders always looks like she's trying not to seem drunk while asking a pet store cashier for eight beagles. pic.twitter.com/Ls5WYdkZrv

— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) September 13, 2017

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Thursday, 14 September 2017 00:59 (two months ago) Permalink

a barrel of Mentos dropped into a swimming pool of Diet Coke

http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/09/16/trump-bannon-russia-scandal-swamp-diary-215609

reggie (qualmsley), Sunday, 17 September 2017 11:48 (two months ago) Permalink

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IKBD6GmnNa0/Vvl_JheiwNI/AAAAAAAACGs/EcDH_3rawtYGlLS7EHZJYDh0Tzomde4Bw/s1600/794840436_CWxjf-M.png

"Steve Bannon, left, discusses policy with Richard Dreyfuss, right"

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 17 September 2017 14:13 (two months ago) Permalink

Was gonna take issue with this, @yashar, but Dame @chrissyteigen got the hot take. pic.twitter.com/j4R6LpIMBk

— Mary Forrest (@maryforrest) September 11, 2017

Hit to Death in the "Galactic Head" (kingfish), Wednesday, 27 September 2017 20:22 (one month ago) Permalink

I'd argue that Bannon's appearance (like Trump's) isn't wholly irrelevant inasmuch as his general state of physical disrepair is probably at least somewhat reflective of the tattered state of his mind. I mean, it takes some savage self-abuse to end up looking like a fistful of used toilet paper dipped in pancake batter.

this is ridcolus (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 27 September 2017 23:05 (one month ago) Permalink

As I've said of Trump a number of times: he only looks like that because he's chosen to dispense with the basic level of upkeep and self-care people engage in to avoid being mistaken for a week-old ham discovered on the floor of a public park restroom.

this is ridcolus (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 27 September 2017 23:11 (one month ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Uncooked Sausage Grimace

The Wetting Planner (Old Lunch), Monday, 23 October 2017 17:06 (three weeks ago) Permalink

the hold he has over 2chins is hair-related rumor has it

reggie (qualmsley), Monday, 23 October 2017 17:07 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I knew Trump shaved his undercarriage. I knew it.

The Wetting Planner (Old Lunch), Monday, 23 October 2017 17:10 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Good god that picture. I've never seen a person with mildew before.

The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 11 November 2017 07:09 (one week ago) Permalink


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