What I Want In A Wife article from Cosmopolitan (April 1972) - least vile man on this list?

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Vote for the man who is the least vile in their opinions regarding women.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
John Pitman 10
John Peel 4
Michael Whittaker 4
Gyles Brandreth 3
Benny Hill 3
Earl of Lichfield 2
John Hurt 2
Tom Courteney 1
Ian McKellen 1
Jack Wild 1
Georgie Fame 1
Simon Oates 1
Dave Cash 1
Oliver Reed 1
Derek Underwood 0
Max de Trense 0
Joahim Stein 0
John Bentley 0
Mark Caine 0
Victor Behrens 0
Karl Green 0
David Broome 0
Peter Wyngarde 0
Johnnie Silvo 0
Sidney Shipton 0
Roger Collins 0
Brian Strange 0
Michael Fish 0
Max Clendenning 0
Simon Jenkins 0
Eddie Kulukundis 0
John Lill 0
Lord Lyell 0
Ron Moody 0
Tim Nicholls 0
Brian Patten 0
Robert Carrier 0
Jimmy Savile 0
Ned Sherrin 0
Lance Percival 0


2017, how bad could it be? (snoball), Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:15 (seven years ago) link

'Nice legs and big bristols'

abcfsk, Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:32 (seven years ago) link

Most vile would be a tougher call tbh

Check the BNM Pitchfork track review, it says Weezer too (imago), Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:34 (seven years ago) link

Ian McKellen is the chicken vote here btw (even if the correct one)

Check the BNM Pitchfork track review, it says Weezer too (imago), Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:35 (seven years ago) link

Michael Whittaker is pretty much the only one who, A) doesn't comes off as a sexist creep, and B) sounds like he could be talking about a real woman. John Peel's answer is kinda funny too in that his standards are way lower than with most of these bozos.

Tuomas, Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:38 (seven years ago) link

Oliver Reed is probably the most vile, it's pretty incredible how much sexism and homophobia he manages to fit in such a short answer.

Tuomas, Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:40 (seven years ago) link

tbf yeah

Check the BNM Pitchfork track review, it says Weezer too (imago), Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:41 (seven years ago) link

Pitman brings the PoMo with "What a daft question". Lichfield gets it right too. Peel narrowly misses with the "not aggressively sexy - just identifiably female" closer. All the others are either misogynistic (Ollie Reed, no surprise there), answering the question using their public persona (Lance Percival, Savile), or possibly trying to deflect the question with a joke (Lyell - Venus de Milo, she doesn't have any arms DOYOUSEE!?!?).

2017, how bad could it be? (snoball), Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:42 (seven years ago) link

what a LAD he was though! what a legend! turned up drunk to every film set!! xp

Check the BNM Pitchfork track review, it says Weezer too (imago), Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:43 (seven years ago) link

john pitman is the most common sense. michael whittaker seems like the most likely to have had a healthy relationship. joachim stein not bad but honesty and mystery a tricky combo

ogmor, Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:43 (seven years ago) link

Lichfield seems a good choice for best yeah

Check the BNM Pitchfork track review, it says Weezer too (imago), Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:44 (seven years ago) link

peel married a child irl so not surprised to hear of low standards

wins, Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:44 (seven years ago) link

Jack Wild has the right idea imo.

I like the Earl of Lichfield's answer, but I think you need a certain amount of money to have everything happen to you "by chance", it's probably not an option for me.

soref, Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:48 (seven years ago) link

everyone was very concerned about women's libbers in 72, eh

ogmor, Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:51 (seven years ago) link

Fish was never married and has no children.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Fish_(fashion_designer)

Alba, Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:53 (seven years ago) link

John Peel's basically described Sheila, so hey.

They were probably an item by then

Mark G, Saturday, 28 January 2017 11:54 (seven years ago) link

I like the Earl of Lichfield's answer, but I think you need a certain amount of money to have everything happen to you "by chance", it's probably not an option for me.

― soref, Saturday, January 28, 2017 11:48 AM (ten minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

:( you're probably right, revealing my weakness for moneyed flaneur types here

Check the BNM Pitchfork track review, it says Weezer too (imago), Saturday, 28 January 2017 12:01 (seven years ago) link

I can't read the scans well enough on Zing so I voted John Hurt because he just died.

El Tomboto, Saturday, 28 January 2017 12:11 (seven years ago) link

lol

wins, Saturday, 28 January 2017 12:13 (seven years ago) link

hahahha

:/

ahaha

Check the BNM Pitchfork track review, it says Weezer too (imago), Saturday, 28 January 2017 12:15 (seven years ago) link

impossible to say how seriously this was being taken by any of them but reeds is the best obv

Mother Teresa May I (darraghmac), Saturday, 28 January 2017 13:02 (seven years ago) link

Based on his statement, Georgie Fame goes beyond Reed in the 'my interior monologue is Sid James going "Fwooooooooaaarr!" non-stop' stakes.

2017, how bad could it be? (snoball), Saturday, 28 January 2017 13:07 (seven years ago) link

Georgie Fame's wife jumped off the Clifton Suspension Bridge iirc.

Bubba H.O.T.A.P.E (ShariVari), Saturday, 28 January 2017 13:08 (seven years ago) link

Sad Bristols :/

Alba, Saturday, 28 January 2017 13:18 (seven years ago) link

peel's child bride also a suicide, fact fans

wins, Saturday, 28 January 2017 13:22 (seven years ago) link

a lot of these seem somewhat contradictory: honesty and love + distance and mystery; an independent woman who doesn't believe in this women's lib nonsense (ok, I know we still have some of those and they still get held up by Gamergating alt-righters as The Good Ones Not These SJW Monsters)

also I really, really hate "bird" (but not as much as "chick", thanks Jack Wild, or "dollies", thanks Johnnie Silvo, or argh yes "bristols")

a passing spacecadet, Saturday, 28 January 2017 13:55 (seven years ago) link

I've known a few 'bull dykes', they were all lovely.

Mark G, Saturday, 28 January 2017 14:05 (seven years ago) link

Sidney Shipton's is quite terrifying.

Treeship, Saturday, 28 January 2017 14:37 (seven years ago) link

Simon Oates' answer isn't offensive.

Treeship, Saturday, 28 January 2017 14:38 (seven years ago) link

lol that in 1970s britain 'becomes a baron on marrying' was a d-list celeb category

j., Saturday, 28 January 2017 16:42 (seven years ago) link

Roger Collins (hairdresser from French of London): "So far there's always been something not quite right."

I can take a guess.

ILXorcist 2: The Heretic (Eric H.), Saturday, 28 January 2017 17:12 (seven years ago) link

David Broome didn't realise he wasn't supposed to give a normal answer

Headphone Jack (seandalai), Sunday, 29 January 2017 00:09 (seven years ago) link

I want business cards that say "Show Jumper"

Anyhow, Where-Aren't-They-Now with these characters has become my latest hobby - I cannot stop being fascinated by the way certain people just fall off the rolls of history

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/predator-turned-prodigal-son-john-bentley-profile-1574976.html

He has, he hopes, finally settled down. After two further marriages, he is now living with a "bohemian Chelsea girl", and proudly presents a photograph of their 10-month-old daughter, Delilah. "I only go to local pubs now," he says. "I gave up my membership of Harry's Bar 10 years ago."

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 January 2017 02:03 (seven years ago) link

one assumes all of four of John's wives were naturally happy, and of course, beautiful.

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 January 2017 02:04 (seven years ago) link

while they remained his wives youd imagine it was the latter but not the former

Mother Teresa May I (darraghmac), Sunday, 29 January 2017 02:26 (seven years ago) link

how small a girl is weightlifter Brian Strange talking about?

sarahell, Sunday, 29 January 2017 02:37 (seven years ago) link

under 322 kg, for sure http://marcolympics.org/jeux/1976/summer/lifting_r.php

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 January 2017 03:22 (seven years ago) link

Brian Patten's is confusing. What "statements"?

jmm, Sunday, 29 January 2017 03:23 (seven years ago) link

I genuinely had no idea Gyles Brandreth was a thing as far back as 1972. I sort of assumed he didn't exist before Countdown.

John Pitman seems reasonably unvile. Weird how a fashion designer wouldn't want a trendy wife (also, "trendy" is such a horrible 70s word). Imagine Britain producing two notable (ish) people called Michael Fish though.

ailsa, Sunday, 29 January 2017 03:37 (seven years ago) link

re: Patten, I think he means statements about what people want in a wife. he seems very meta

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 January 2017 03:47 (seven years ago) link

yall are going pretty easy on whittaker's "maturity - that doesn't mean age"

code for "i want a college girl who will worship my great intellect"

qualx, Sunday, 29 January 2017 04:26 (seven years ago) link

Next poll: knockers vs bristols.

Johnny Cage - 4'33" Fatality (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 29 January 2017 05:16 (seven years ago) link

is there a u.s. tradition of calling them clevelands or something possibly

j., Sunday, 29 January 2017 05:30 (seven years ago) link

Isn't the Clifton Suspension bridge just outside Bristol. Cf Georgie Fame's wife, also the repeated use of the term throughout thread.
Is it rhyming slang with a missing 2nd word or something?

Stevolende, Sunday, 29 January 2017 07:35 (seven years ago) link

City

Andrew Farrell, Sunday, 29 January 2017 07:42 (seven years ago) link

Of those not mentioned, Tom Nicholls isn't so bad.

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Sunday, 29 January 2017 09:47 (seven years ago) link

Bristol Cities = titties

ailsa, Sunday, 29 January 2017 10:02 (seven years ago) link

Nice one Cyril.

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Sunday, 29 January 2017 20:34 (seven years ago) link

haha wow

also peter wyngarde is still alive?!?

the greg evigan school of improvised explosive devices (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 29 January 2017 20:35 (seven years ago) link

It appears so.

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Sunday, 29 January 2017 20:37 (seven years ago) link

more than a little vile,

In 1970, Wyngarde recorded an album for RCA Victor entitled simply Peter Wyngarde, featuring a single, "La Ronde De L'Amour"/"The Way I Cry Over You". The album is a collection of spoken word/musical arrangements produced by Vic Smith and Hubert Thomas Valverde. A promo single of the track "Rape" (entitled "Peter Wyngarde Commits Rape") was also issued in 1970.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY26l5SAxJs

by the light of the burning Citroën, Sunday, 29 January 2017 21:13 (seven years ago) link

eeek, ewww & yuck

Benylin Ascent (NickB), Sunday, 29 January 2017 21:15 (seven years ago) link

jeez judge much

wins, Sunday, 29 January 2017 21:19 (seven years ago) link

running spreads of naked Burt Reynolds and stuff.

Huh, this was actually the same issue, April 1972.

https://img1.etsystatic.com/028/0/6504358/il_570xN.614482607_op9t.jpg

jmm, Sunday, 29 January 2017 21:21 (seven years ago) link

(xp) I have the album, a fine album it is too.

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Sunday, 29 January 2017 21:29 (seven years ago) link

Nope, this is from the second ever issue of Cosmo UK, I suspect

http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/more/a15293/first-ever-cosmo-issue/

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 January 2017 21:32 (seven years ago) link

Quiz: Could You Be President

Among the most quaint ideas from 1972, the idea a woman could be elected president.

ILXorcist 2: The Heretic (Eric H.), Sunday, 29 January 2017 21:33 (seven years ago) link

'Catchable Bachelors'

2017, how bad could it be? (snoball), Sunday, 29 January 2017 21:38 (seven years ago) link

Ah, right, that makes sense.

"Mister Germaine Greer", aka Paul du Feu.

jmm, Sunday, 29 January 2017 21:42 (seven years ago) link

I thought Cosmopolitan was more liberated than this feature would indicate. Was that a later development?

― Stevolende, Sunday, January 29, 2017 4:30 AM (eleven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

these attitudes were mildly progressive in 1972, it was just that bad

mh 😏, Sunday, 29 January 2017 22:09 (seven years ago) link

Somehow I had basically missed the existence of Oliver Reed until this thread. Watched the Carson clip with Shelley Winters last night. Wow, what a piece of work.

― stein beck ii: the wrath of grapes (Doctor Casino), Sunday, January 29, 2017 7:38 PM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you've been missing out on this horrible 70s autobiography title:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/dc/b2/96/dcb2964b1821050fbf1617c7729b9e76.jpg

soref, Sunday, 29 January 2017 23:10 (seven years ago) link

No idea who that Max de Trense is but hes a bit of orright.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Sunday, 29 January 2017 23:19 (seven years ago) link

ok, add "taken pre-1980" to the end of that

soref, Sunday, 29 January 2017 23:21 (seven years ago) link

fair

the greg evigan school of improvised explosive devices (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 29 January 2017 23:22 (seven years ago) link

I remember watching this at the time and, along with a lot of other people it seems, finding myself rushing to stuff a video in the VCR to try to record it.

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Sunday, 29 January 2017 23:30 (seven years ago) link

Jimmy Saville - "women? I have no idea. maybe a car?"
hmmm....

Frobisher, Monday, 30 January 2017 00:11 (seven years ago) link

HERMAN'S HERMITS STILL BEING A THING IN 1972

"I must believe that my charm was not in my ass." (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 30 January 2017 03:23 (seven years ago) link

you've been missing out on this horrible 70s autobiography title

lol, thank you for that

stein beck ii: the wrath of grapes (Doctor Casino), Monday, 30 January 2017 05:15 (seven years ago) link

(becomes a hermit on marrying)

stein beck ii: the wrath of grapes (Doctor Casino), Monday, 30 January 2017 05:15 (seven years ago) link

SIDNEY SHIPTON
(Chairman: Zionist Federation):

Firstly she must be prepared to be associated with me as a founder of Men's Lib ... She should be ... not more intelligent than me.


t h r e a t e n e d

Autumn Almanac, Tuesday, 31 January 2017 00:25 (seven years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Friday, 3 February 2017 00:01 (seven years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Saturday, 4 February 2017 00:01 (seven years ago) link

landslide

El Tomboto, Saturday, 4 February 2017 02:35 (seven years ago) link

^^^voted for reed

mookieproof, Saturday, 4 February 2017 03:21 (seven years ago) link

"Nice legs and big bristols!" says the guy who then married the Marchioness of Londonderry.

everything, Saturday, 4 February 2017 06:03 (seven years ago) link

oliver reed among others playing to female question-asker obv

ie how can i make her the most uncomfortable & still answer the question

(gods truth just redact oliver's answer & everything that comes out of his mouth & vote on the photo)

benny hill & that au pair fella eeeeuuughhh barfbag plz

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 4 February 2017 07:14 (seven years ago) link

It's not obvious that the question-asker is female? Also I think there's some normalisation here - the 1970s were just a different world.

Andrew Farrell, Saturday, 4 February 2017 17:03 (seven years ago) link

Oliver says the woman must "like to dominated"...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=alGnWiFurys

everything, Sunday, 5 February 2017 02:26 (seven years ago) link

I'm not sure Benny Hill would address another man as "dear heart"

El Tomboto, Sunday, 5 February 2017 02:34 (seven years ago) link

shirley percival

Mother Teresa May I (darraghmac), Sunday, 5 February 2017 10:04 (seven years ago) link

Benny Hill probably would use "dear heart" with either sex, it's a (possibly affected) local dialect thing.

sheer presence, look and size (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 5 February 2017 10:14 (seven years ago) link

interesting that Pitman wins this vote when his implied misogyny is laid on much thicker than some of the others

sheer presence, look and size (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 5 February 2017 10:15 (seven years ago) link

yeah wtf that isn't remotely the best answer

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Sunday, 5 February 2017 10:35 (seven years ago) link

"Nice legs and big bristols!" says the guy who then married the Marchioness of Londonderry.

(Googles)
(notes manner and location of death)
(winces)

a passing spacecadet, Sunday, 5 February 2017 10:57 (seven years ago) link

interesting that Pitman wins this vote when his implied misogyny is laid on much thicker than some of the others

? I just found him self-critical, tbh. "no one that good'd go out with the likes of me anyway".

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 6 February 2017 04:32 (seven years ago) link

I think, having spent far too much time on this, I like Tim Nicholls' answer the best. All I can find on him are several videos of the BBC1 signoffs from the eighties.

El Tomboto, Monday, 6 February 2017 05:00 (seven years ago) link

five years pass...

for reasons i never discovered -- possibly distaste for his comedy stylings, possibly some anecdote not passed down -- my dad *detested* lance percival

mark s, Saturday, 25 June 2022 11:03 (one year ago) link

did not know the child bride and sexual abuse stuff re: Peel, ugh

papal hotwife (milo z), Saturday, 25 June 2022 18:04 (one year ago) link

"Teenage Kicks" definitely gonna hit different the next time I hear it.


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