Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post on the "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here" thread - put them here

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Do you even differentiate between what you post on the actual threads and what you put here? Is it just a random percentage? Is this so we can all have a look-see at the angel's share of your fine barrel-aged curmudgeonly predictableness?

The beaver is not the bad guy (El Tomboto), Monday, 16 January 2017 14:33 (three years ago) link

Tom that is a beautifully written post I gotta say, seriously

though she denies it to the press, (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Monday, 16 January 2017 15:39 (three years ago) link

Seconded. Best thread ever.

Moog and Stan (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 16 January 2017 15:43 (three years ago) link

misère en abyme

wins, Monday, 16 January 2017 16:20 (three years ago) link

It's actually just for posts you has second thoughts about posting to that one thread what's the issue here

trilby mouth (darraghmac), Monday, 16 January 2017 17:41 (three years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiSKXxWgA4w

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 17 January 2017 02:49 (three years ago) link

four weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1Xsj9-3Pvo

Treeship, Tuesday, 14 February 2017 04:12 (three years ago) link

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/theamericans/images/4/45/The_Americans.jpeg

l-r: me, Treesh

sarahell, Tuesday, 14 February 2017 04:14 (three years ago) link

hahahah

Treeship, Tuesday, 14 February 2017 04:22 (three years ago) link

both looking pretty good

mh 😏, Tuesday, 14 February 2017 14:51 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

yet to see evidence of first thought tbh

in time of lost search (wins), Wednesday, 5 April 2017 19:33 (three years ago) link

if you're going to make it obvious what you are subposting there is no pt to bumping the second thoughts thread just post it in the original thread

Mordy, Wednesday, 5 April 2017 19:35 (three years ago) link

spontaneous beef is a rare commodity nowadays

an uptempo Pop/Hip Hop mentality (imago), Wednesday, 5 April 2017 20:01 (three years ago) link

most people are savvy enough to not run into beef when the opponent has more pieces attacking the beef square, as is usually the case. manoeuvring for an opportunity can be arduous and you have to have the full measure of the beefee before making the fateful move

an uptempo Pop/Hip Hop mentality (imago), Wednesday, 5 April 2017 20:07 (three years ago) link

Putting the beef t into posing

virginity simple (darraghmac), Wednesday, 5 April 2017 20:21 (three years ago) link

beeefffeee

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 5 April 2017 22:30 (three years ago) link

as I'm sure we'll all find out

an uptempo Pop/Hip Hop mentality (imago), Wednesday, 12 April 2017 18:51 (three years ago) link

Oh wrong thread ffs fuck you dead search function

an uptempo Pop/Hip Hop mentality (imago), Wednesday, 12 April 2017 18:55 (three years ago) link

Do we know anyone else like that do we i think we do but do we hmm.

virginity simple (darraghmac), Thursday, 13 April 2017 09:05 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I forgot there was a "second thoughts about second thoughts thread" thread so I posted that here anyway.

The above is the text of a post I had second thoughts about posting to the second thoughts thread, in respect of a post I'd posted to the second thoughts thread in response to another post on the second thoughts thread. If only I'd posted my first response here both my subsequent post to the second thoughts thread and this post would not have been necessary and we'd all have saved some time.

It was about bannisters, and balustrades.

Tim, Wednesday, 10 May 2017 13:05 (three years ago) link

slippery slope huh

spud called maris (darraghmac), Wednesday, 10 May 2017 15:31 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

^watch-list!

imago, Sunday, 4 June 2017 09:40 (three years ago) link

Oh wrong thread again FFS, can we just lock this one

imago, Sunday, 4 June 2017 09:40 (three years ago) link

HIIIIIII-YA!

D'mnuchin returns (darraghmac), Sunday, 4 June 2017 10:31 (three years ago) link

three months pass...

"I'm afraid that I was very, very drunk"? ;)

imago, Tuesday, 19 September 2017 18:41 (two years ago) link

LJ hie thee to the cluiche cheannais thread btw

passé aggresif (darraghmac), Tuesday, 19 September 2017 18:45 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

Can't even post it itt tbh

Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 November 2017 17:41 (two years ago) link

Can't believe an ilxor knows any of those obv

Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 November 2017 18:43 (two years ago) link

I never hied to the GAA thread

imago, Thursday, 9 November 2017 18:44 (two years ago) link

Became a Flann O'Brien fan instead, hope that'll do

imago, Thursday, 9 November 2017 18:45 (two years ago) link

The gaa is actually one of the pillars it's ok not to have grasped in order to fully get FOB I think.

But you really should his thee for other reasons

Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 November 2017 18:51 (two years ago) link

I was going to post something like 'I was going to post something like "I wonder what musicians have to do to get a good review on AMG" on the Weinstein thread but it's no joking matter' on the second thought about thread, but it's all too serious and I don't know what offends people anymore.

StanM, Thursday, 9 November 2017 19:41 (two years ago) link

Otm

Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 November 2017 19:59 (two years ago) link

EASY NOW TYSON EASY NOW

Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 November 2017 20:49 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

We know of no spectacle as ridiculous

moyesery loves kompany (darraghmac), Tuesday, 5 December 2017 16:37 (two years ago) link

That age tbf

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 8 December 2017 14:04 (two years ago) link

()

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Monday, 11 December 2017 16:30 (two years ago) link

why can you say "they should be blinded" but not "they should be deafed"

mark s, Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:08 (two years ago) link

deafened?

mh, Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:09 (two years ago) link

Soundly defeated

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:12 (two years ago) link

probably shd've said "they should be visually impaired"

The Dearth of Stollen (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:16 (two years ago) link

Blound?

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:17 (two years ago) link

emblindened

The Dearth of Stollen (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:18 (two years ago) link

blindicated

The Dearth of Stollen (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:18 (two years ago) link

i

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:19 (two years ago) link

deocularized?

The Dearth of Stollen (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:20 (two years ago) link

depercussionated

mh, Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:22 (two years ago) link

"shown the wonder"

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 15:24 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Oh good you two have met

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Wednesday, 27 December 2017 20:52 (two years ago) link

c3p0, r2d2 and bb8 are bad and you should all feel bad

mark s, Friday, 5 January 2018 12:16 (two years ago) link

i'm also super wary of pile-ons which is what this is starting to feel like, because I remember having that happen to me at one point --

but also, as a corollary to the "being used to being attacked thing" re ilx, for folx who are regularly attacked IRL because of their identity, where ilx is a safe(r) space for them, a well-intentioned post that seems similar to the IRL grossness is also likely to provoke that defensive response -- and if we want to be decent people, we should be sensitive to that.

sarahell, Wednesday, 29 July 2020 22:51 (one week ago) link

needs to be both ways, sara

Oor Neechy, Wednesday, 29 July 2020 22:57 (one week ago) link

If you treat someone like shit they will treat you back the same way

Oor Neechy, Wednesday, 29 July 2020 22:58 (one week ago) link

and that's not aimed at any person.

Oor Neechy, Wednesday, 29 July 2020 22:59 (one week ago) link

that was meant in Brad's defense ... so idk what you are referring to?

sarahell, Wednesday, 29 July 2020 23:01 (one week ago) link

also re DJP being weirded out about all the black metal threads being bumped

sarahell, Wednesday, 29 July 2020 23:01 (one week ago) link

sadly some people have a horrible history of being personally very nasty to people and they never apologise for it and that leads to them never getting the benefit of the doubt.


Some people call that learning from experience.

let them microwave their rice (gyac), Wednesday, 29 July 2020 23:06 (one week ago) link

Some people do actually suck, and are bad people to have around your clubhouse

all cats are beautiful (silby), Wednesday, 29 July 2020 23:07 (one week ago) link

No AFAB or AMAB on here please, just ACAB.

Anti-Cop Ponceortium (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 31 July 2020 20:55 (one week ago) link

I do not like ice cream

solo scampito (mh), Friday, 31 July 2020 21:01 (one week ago) link

Ice cream is good.

pomenitul, Friday, 31 July 2020 21:02 (one week ago) link

assigned cantaloupe at birth

contorted filbert (harbl), Friday, 31 July 2020 21:03 (one week ago) link

I do not like ice cream


Blatant challop, fped

let them microwave their rice (gyac), Friday, 31 July 2020 21:04 (one week ago) link

xp

solo scampito (mh), Friday, 31 July 2020 21:04 (one week ago) link

I like to think mh was posting in bad faith.

pomenitul, Friday, 31 July 2020 21:08 (one week ago) link

if it wasn't for bad faith we'd have no faith at all

— quarantine idle (@smk73) July 31, 2020

Anti-Cop Ponceortium (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 31 July 2020 21:10 (one week ago) link

I like to think mh was posting in bad faith.


can confirm

let them microwave their rice (gyac), Friday, 31 July 2020 21:13 (one week ago) link

are there people that are Assigned COPS at Birth??

sarahell, Friday, 31 July 2020 21:29 (one week ago) link

Good old NAR

all cats are beautiful (silby), Friday, 31 July 2020 21:33 (one week ago) link

the haagen dazs with whiskey flavor -- is really fucking delicious

sarahell, Friday, 31 July 2020 22:05 (one week ago) link

Extraaz is amazing, had it for the first time the other day.

pomenitul, Friday, 31 July 2020 22:06 (one week ago) link

really sad that three twins went out of business -- their cardamom was my fave

sarahell, Friday, 31 July 2020 22:08 (one week ago) link

really fucked up but lol jfc

XVI Pedicabo eam (Neanderthal), Friday, 31 July 2020 22:40 (one week ago) link

are you laughing at the discontinuation of my favorite ice cream, Florida Man????

sarahell, Friday, 31 July 2020 22:52 (one week ago) link

Wow it’s so surprising to me that so many cis men post on ilx

all cats are beautiful (silby), Sunday, 2 August 2020 02:41 (one week ago) link

we are your fathers and brothers, your neighbors, your fellow citizens, silby. we are many, but we are various. we contain multitudes.

the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Sunday, 2 August 2020 02:48 (one week ago) link

I would suggest refraining from doing the “not all men” thing

brimstead, Sunday, 2 August 2020 02:51 (one week ago) link

struggling to figure out which thread this belongs to.

XVI Pedicabo eam (Neanderthal), Sunday, 2 August 2020 02:58 (one week ago) link

Unfortunately not literally.

let them microwave their rice (gyac), Tuesday, 4 August 2020 10:09 (six days ago) link

Really glad I didn’t post anything flippant about noted author Adolf Hitler’s suicide now

Rishi don’t lose my voucher (wins), Thursday, 6 August 2020 17:44 (four days ago) link

i hate having crushes tbh

sarahell, Thursday, 6 August 2020 17:55 (four days ago) link

crushes suck. i am stating this as a fact.

Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 6 August 2020 17:59 (four days ago) link

It is not at all apparent whether there is or is not an intentional conversation taking place here.

Basil Ker-ching (Noel Emits), Thursday, 6 August 2020 18:07 (four days ago) link

i miss the hypothetical possibility of a crush tbh

The Scampos of Young Werther (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 6 August 2020 18:36 (four days ago) link

same

the quar on drugs (Simon H.), Thursday, 6 August 2020 18:59 (four days ago) link

Aching Desire For One True Love Separated By Fate Still No Match For A Good Porkin’ https://t.co/utsSI90si9 pic.twitter.com/X03fFw72wy

— The Onion (@TheOnion) August 6, 2020

singular wolf erotica producer (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 6 August 2020 19:02 (four days ago) link

The experience of a real crush in the moment is often, maybe even mainly, negative but I can’t help but rep for something so thoroughly unproductive

Rishi don’t lose my voucher (wins), Thursday, 6 August 2020 19:04 (four days ago) link

you know, it genuinely did not occur to me before, like, just now, how often the phrase "dysphoria" occurs in "infinite jest". i haven't revisited it since that one indeterminate year in the late 1990s i spent plowing through it while waiting for the bus.

in one sense it's not surprising that the concept of gender dysphoria comes up in infinite jest - goddamn near _everything_ comes up in infinite jest. it is a Novel About Everything. in another sense... it wasn't a concept i commonly came across in the 1990s. dfw talked about lots of things i had no idea about, like tennis, often through confusing and unexplained references, and in any case i had already decided definitively that i was Definitely Not Trans so whatever the hell he was talking about had no bearing on me whatsoever.

i wonder what i might find were i to choose to reread that book.

most of my memory of dfw, these days, comes from my much more recent (shortly after it came out) reading of "the pale king", which i found striking in how thoroughly and completely dfw failed to understand boredom, the topic he was allegedly writing a novel about. i mean, on par with black sabbath writing a song about clinical depression and calling it "paranoid", that level of complete misunderstanding.

Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 6 August 2020 20:38 (four days ago) link

I am overdue for a break for the internet but

Jeez is that all you guys think about

chasing rimbauds (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 6 August 2020 21:12 (four days ago) link

Really glad I didn’t post anything flippant about noted author Adolf Hitler’s suicide now

― Rishi don’t lose my voucher (wins), Thursday, August 6, 2020 1:44 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Been thinking about this a lot tbh

There's a difference between "a suicidal episode" and "persistent suicidal ideation", there's a difference between "a period of depression" and "chronic ongoing struggles with depression". I'd experienced the former of both examples here-and-there in my life, but the latter of both examples really started to set in hard-core about four years ago, escalating to become, rather awfully, a defining feature of my personality. (It goes without saying that there's a huge difference between killing oneself in a bunker after committing a genocide and losing a war, and succumbing to a long battle with suicidal depression, as dfw did.)

Considering that, after cancer, suicide is the #2 most prevalent death-by-illness in adults age 18-55 (North America and Europe), considering the stigma and lack of understanding about "what persistent ideation is like" amongst people who are either psychonormative or mentally-ill-in-other-ways, it feels like an impossible struggle to be understood or to receive the care one needs. Just now I had lunch with a friend and made a plan to go to the island this coming week, and despite the fact that it was made good-naturedly, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was a social favour-- this is how ideation colours your every moment.

Considering that "cancer jokes" are somewhat taboo, reserved for the most odious individuals who are afflicted with it (Rush Limbaugh)-- and the #1 cause of death in this same demographic is "accidents" (car crashes), and I don't think I've ever heard a good joke about a car crash-- it is disheartening to see people speak about suicidality in flippant ways, to not afford the same gravity and care to the affliction as they do other similarly dangerous afflictions. (Remembering, too, that many people with persistent suicidal ideation do live, to die of other causes, either because they are able to recover and/or they just struggle with it until death finds another way.)

A living god of a musician who struggles very, very hard with mental illness once surprised me with a request that she might reach out to me when she was in distress. "It's not the disorder that kills you," she said, "it's the loneliness." This entire statement is not an admonishment so much as a plea for understanding-- to understand that ideating individuals already feel so, so isolated, like a burden to everyone, and that flippant comments about those who've succumbed to this illness can exacerbate this feeling of isolating. (rushomancy's comment was very tame and I don't think anyone was pressed about it but it was nice that they addressed it, thank you rushomancy!)

flamboyant goon tie included, Saturday, 8 August 2020 18:49 (two days ago) link

I couldn't shake the feeling that this was a social favour-- this is how ideation colours your every moment.

otm ... this is my life tbh ... and why I spend so much of it doing things for other people, because I feel like I have no innate self-worth or appealing traits, thus, acting in a helpful, useful manner is what will "earn" me these social favors.

sarahell, Saturday, 8 August 2020 19:54 (two days ago) link

Yep. My favourite mode of socialization is having dinner parties. Part of my brain cannot shake that "people socializing with me" has to be coerced in some way, so I try and make that apparent "coercion" as pleasant for others as possible, by making people food. Even though I'm often reassured by my social circle that I'm "great at parties" and "a lot of fun", the feeling of social inadequacy persists, largely because of my struggles with mental illness and my worry that people are exhausted by these struggles-- which is, in certain cases, absolutely the case.

flamboyant goon tie included, Saturday, 8 August 2020 20:28 (two days ago) link

Thank you for sharing fgti.

It's a difficult thing. People with cancer are treated just as awkwardly as people with suicidal depression, there's misunderstanding, there's awkwardness around it. Met someone today and one of the first things they said was that they were getting chemo for stage IV cancer and do you think I had anything to say to that?

People back away from me if I talk too openly about suicide. Hell, complete honesty here, I back away from other people if they talk too openly about suicide. I've lost people to suicide. I don't blame them for what they did, I'm not angry at them. I'm proud of them for lasting as long as they did with what they had to live with. Knowing them is still in inspiration to me, still drives me. And it's been four years still hurts, hurts like fucking hell that they're gone, hurts like fucking hell what happened to them. I'm really afraid to lose anybody else like that.

For that matter I'm really afraid that even talking about it too directly could hurt somebody, could hurt somebody who's in a really vulnerable and fragile place, and that's a fear I push through, there's no safety when one is in that place, everything is a risk, and I don't know how to live without taking that risk sometimes.

I'm really afraid that the people who care about me might someday lose me like that. My reference to DFW's suicide... I wasn't coming from a place of flippancy, but from a place of weary over-familiarity. I know too well the crushing tedium of experiencing chronic suicidality, the sort of agony that makes time itself seem meaningless. It was this sort of depressive tedium that DFW, at some point, stopped being able to differentiate from mere boredom, to the point where he tried to write an entire book about what he took to be "boredom".

There are ways out, even if they're invisible a lot of the time, to a lot of us, even if it's mostly just blind fumbling. There are choices. A lot of them are crappy ones and there's no recognition, you know, for all the good choices we make. All of the times, all of the days, I've had to choose to not die that day... that's not a choice people who aren't suicidal have to ever make. My friend made that choice countless times in his life, beat the illness trying to take his life over and over and over again, and then one day, he couldn't, and nobody was there to give him the help and support he needed, the help and support he deserved, so he died. I don't count that as a personal failing of his.

Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, 8 August 2020 20:42 (two days ago) link

These are helpful posts to read and I think we should take it to a more appropriate thread if this discussion is to continue! Thanks for your post rushomancy <3

flamboyant goon tie included, Saturday, 8 August 2020 20:52 (two days ago) link

I left a movie critic message board not too recently because a male poster made a hilarious rape joke about a real person, a female poster summoned a mod to delete the post, and the hilarious rape jokester whined and whined, calling the female poster a snitch, asking her if she was so sensitive because she got raped, and suggesting that maybe she should seek therapy instead of infringing on his free speech rights.

Eventually, all the male posters on the board took his side.

I am so happy ILX is not that place.

(Posted here, and not on "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here", out of respect for the late Bimble.)

oder doch?, Monday, 10 August 2020 18:25 (three hours ago) link

Eventually, all the male posters on the board took his side.

I am so happy ILX is not that place.

(Posted here, and not on "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here", out of respect for the late Bimble.)

― oder doch?, Monday, August 10, 2020 11:25 AM (nine minutes ago)

thank you oder doch. i understand that dynamic very well. it is always painful to see it play out.

Kate (rushomancy), Monday, 10 August 2020 18:40 (three hours ago) link

What's all this about Daryl Stuermer all of a sudden?

vitreous humorist (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 10 August 2020 19:32 (two hours ago) link


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