pissing in bottles

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have you ever pissed in a bottle?

Poll Results

OptionVotes
i have pissed in bottles once or twice or three or four times when it was completely necessary like if you were a long 38
i have never pissed in a bottle but i understand it, depending on the situation 23
i have pissed in bottles semi-regularly but not very often 14
i have never pissed in a bottle and i find the idea repellent 8
i had a mild to severe problem with pissing in bottles (large collection of piss bottles) 3
i had a serious problem with pissing in bottles (huge backlog of undrained piss bottles, capped and uncapped, and even 2


dylannn, Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:23 (four years ago) link

i have pissed in bottles once or twice or three or four times when it was completely necessary like if you were a long------ distance trucker or on a stakeout
i had a serious problem with pissing in bottles (huge backlog of undrained piss bottles, capped and uncapped, and even------ cans and other vessels, strong sometimes overwhelming smell of stale urine, fruit flys, urine aging like armagnac from nearly clear to deep tawny brown and dissolved particulates growing and turning fuzzy like a kombucha mother.

dylannn, Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:26 (four years ago) link

I've never done it but have been in situations where I thought I would eventually have to

esempiu (crüt), Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:27 (four years ago) link

voted semi regularly

more often that i should have, at least

nxd, Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:31 (four years ago) link

It doesn't really seem practical for a woman. Maybe I'm wrong and the laydeez of ilx will regale me with bottle-pissing tales? Definitely understand why someone might have to, don't understand why anyone would do it in their bedroom if the toilet's just down the hall and unoccupied.

emil.y, Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:32 (four years ago) link

never have.

mark e, Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:36 (four years ago) link

i treat pissing in bottles like 7-Up
I never have, never will

Neanderthal, Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:37 (four years ago) link

Once or twice as a child, long road trips between CA and MS.

aaaaaaaauuuuuuuuu (melting robot) (WilliamC), Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:41 (four years ago) link

There used to be a betting shop I occasionally worked at as a relief manager that didn't have it's own toilet, if you needed a piss you had to close the shop and go up some stairs to the toilet next to the hairdressers. The regular manager there was a real scruffy bastard and was always leaving his piss bottles under the counter. This degenerate even complained to a director at the company that I "didn't have respect for other people's property" because I chucked his prized glass piss bottle into the bin outside. Oh such happy memories, they are bringing back fragrances I haven't smelled in a long time!

calzino, Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:44 (four years ago) link

How is this not on ILTMI

Yes, I have pissed in a bottle but I prefer it in a can.

I Can Thrill You More Than Elliott Gould Would Ever Dare Try (Old Lunch), Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:46 (four years ago) link

yeah canned piss loses a lot of the nutrients I find

Neanderthal, Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:48 (four years ago) link

It doesn't really seem practical for a woman.

Not massively practical for a man either in a confined space in a jerky vehicle, ie the only situation in which I've done it.

chap, Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:54 (four years ago) link

i'm imagining a car made entirely out of beef jerky

fat fingered algorithm (rushomancy), Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:57 (four years ago) link

shame that Willy Wonka wasn't able to find the right consumer for that

Neanderthal, Thursday, 20 October 2016 12:58 (four years ago) link

I've definitely done this in car situations. During more rootless and stupid times I spent more time in cars than was strictly necessary for transportation. Bottle-pissing is probably among the more understandable/benign things we did in cars in those days, frankly.

I don't think I did this (much) in dorms or whatever, even though I had some pretty serious anxiety issues that otherwise made me reluctant to be seen/scrutinized by other people.

wingless yurp (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 20 October 2016 13:02 (four years ago) link

why would you need to do this in a dorm

¶ (DJP), Thursday, 20 October 2016 13:28 (four years ago) link

definitely started doing this while in dorms. pretty serious anxiety issues that otherwise made me reluctant to be seen/scrutinized by other people.

dylannn, Thursday, 20 October 2016 13:45 (four years ago) link

could you pee in bottles in a dorm?
would you pee in bottles if it was warm?
could you pee in bottles on a train?
would you pee in bottles in the lane?

Neanderthal, Thursday, 20 October 2016 13:49 (four years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DcA0p8Tvnk

fat fingered algorithm (rushomancy), Thursday, 20 October 2016 13:50 (four years ago) link

good thread imo

marcos, Thursday, 20 October 2016 13:53 (four years ago) link

semi-regularly for me.

when you are on a long drive w/ two little kids in the back seats who screamed for hours but are now sleeping peacefully there is no way you can stop the car. i keep an empty gallon jug or other bottle for this purpose. honestly i have filled up bottles up to 32 oz at times if i really have to piss

marcos, Thursday, 20 October 2016 13:55 (four years ago) link

big gulp

Neanderthal, Thursday, 20 October 2016 13:56 (four years ago) link

in a 2 liter coke zero bottle with approximately 100 ml flat coke
copenhagen wintergreen spit
a plug of spent copenhagen wintergreen
ashes from three cigarettes
the butts of three cigarettes
approximately 500 ml of beery piss
leave uncapped for 2-5 days, pissing into it again to top it off
recycle the cap from a new bottle of coke zero, cap
place on windowsill

dylannn, Thursday, 20 October 2016 13:56 (four years ago) link

I don't care if you're Coca-Cola Dasani a Corona or a fucking Zima bottle from the back of my closet. If your bottles are cylindrical, my bladder is full, and whatever else, I'll piss in your bottles.

Neanderthal, Thursday, 20 October 2016 13:59 (four years ago) link

i found myself in a pee-bottle situation when i moved in to my last apartment. there were two other roommates, and i had to walk through the living room and kitchen to get to the bathroom. one roommate constantly had people over and i didn't feel like marching through their hang-outs all the time. so there was a little ledge outside my window i made use of. a little precarious but better than pissing in a bottle.

i can definitely see how it makes sense on road trips, but i guess i'm lucky that i never had to deal with kids and out here there's always a ranch exit with no one around when you really need it.

The times they are a changing, perhaps (map), Thursday, 20 October 2016 14:06 (four years ago) link

I went through a depression in my early 20s where I'd sit at my computer all day and piss in bottles rather than walk 10 feet to the bathroom. I also remember having 6 or 7 expired milk jugs in the fridge, and I didn't check my mailbox for so long that the carrier put tape over the box saying "full, do not deliver". :-(

a murder of tacos (rip van wanko), Thursday, 20 October 2016 14:32 (four years ago) link

let's keep it lighthearted here, okay?

dylannn, Thursday, 20 October 2016 14:46 (four years ago) link

happy times when you pissed in a bottle.

dylannn, Thursday, 20 October 2016 14:46 (four years ago) link

not to bring the room down or anything

a murder of tacos (rip van wanko), Thursday, 20 October 2016 14:54 (four years ago) link

what's the most bottles you amassed? did they get poured down the sink?

dylannn, Thursday, 20 October 2016 14:59 (four years ago) link

I think I'd empty them at night, in the sink. Milk was one thing but a collection of full pee bottles would have been a little much.

a murder of tacos (rip van wanko), Thursday, 20 October 2016 15:13 (four years ago) link

I once peed in a cup while driving on the Long Island Expressway because there was no bathroom in site and I was extremely desperate. Never a bottle though.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 20 October 2016 15:31 (four years ago) link

My first thought: collecting makes no sense whatsoever unless you're Howard Hughes.

My second thought: Keeping it lighthearted would be gr8 but it's hard to avoid discussing how someone might get into a spiral like "omigod if They see me enter a bathroom and hear me excreting They will know my shameful secret, that I am a human who eats and that I have a body with bodily functions; I just cannot handle that kind of attention/scrutiny right now omigod omigod."

Note that "They" here is a completely irrational nonspecific They. Obviously everyone else in the dorm (or whatever) is completely preoccupied with their own petty neuroses; no one is really ever that interested in scrutinizing someone else's movements (bowel or otherwise). But in someone under a mental cloud such as social anxiety, the wish to disappear and not be observed/noticed can take over and eclipse rational assessments of likelihood.

Just sayin. I am not aware of a lot of people who've amassed collections of pee bottles for light-hearted reasons.

wingless yurp (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 20 October 2016 15:57 (four years ago) link

All that said, mostly one would prefer wide-mouth bottles like Snapple or whatever, or at least like a plastic soda bottle. Not standard beer bottles, right? Presuming you had choices?

Longneck beer bottles r very hard to manage, especially in a car - DEFINITELY in a moving car.

wingless yurp (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:00 (four years ago) link

the smell of piss in varying states of decay is no longer revolting to you and nobody is going to see the room and you don't really care, which is why there are bottles of piss all over but you realize in a moment of clarity or leaf-turning-over or something like shame that you should tidy up, but the collection has become unmanageable and disposal becomes increasingly difficult, as it involves carting out, furtively, plastic bottles and cans of piss, which may need special handling, if they've been stockpiled in a careless fashion.

dylannn, Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:09 (four years ago) link

did this once while driving back from Athens after a show.

have also done so while living in various living situations w multiple roommates and the bathroom is always in use.

probably did the depression room hermit thing too, a long time ago, and thankfully those days are behind me.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:12 (four years ago) link

i have done this, when i had a roommate. standard beer/soda bottle is a disaster waiting to happen; you really need like a gatorade or malt liquor bottle with a wide mouth

not sure why you'd keep them -- unless you were living in a frank zappa song -- or dispose of the piss anywhere but in a toilet

mookieproof, Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:20 (four years ago) link

good point! important reference material:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=207pbJQNl58

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:24 (four years ago) link

xpost Or use it to refill your waterbed.

I Can Thrill You More Than Elliott Gould Would Ever Dare Try (Old Lunch), Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:24 (four years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DcA0p8Tvnk

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:30 (four years ago) link

i'm sure someone somewhere at some time has peed "meaningfully" into a cigar box. just felt like that needed to be dropped in this thread.

The times they are a changing, perhaps (map), Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:44 (four years ago) link

i never peed in bottles but story time

i have an extended uh ... relative? my uncle remarried and it was to this lady that had a son from a previous relationship

anyway her son was a total hillbilly and my cousins once found a large (i'm talking 22oz plus) bottle of pure unadulterated urine in his drawer

apparently he kept it there for a long time

F♯ A♯ (∞), Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:54 (four years ago) link

wint ‏@dril 19 Sep 2013
i have been secretly collecting my roommate's piss for 7 years. i dont know what to do with all of these jars of piss. i am extremely scared

ciderpress, Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:54 (four years ago) link

there was a particularly gruesome murder of a teenage girl in scotland when i was younger. her boyfriend was convicted of it and despite lots of circumstantial evidence pointing towards him the clincher for me to be convinced of his guilt was that his bedroom was full of bottles of his piss

*-* (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 20 October 2016 16:57 (four years ago) link

Thread reminds me of the Neal Stephenson novel where a bunch of characters collect their piss and boil it down to phosphorus for weapons.

aaaaaaaauuuuuuuuu (melting robot) (WilliamC), Thursday, 20 October 2016 17:00 (four years ago) link

in that scenario piss actually has a purpose

"it's okay maww it's only piss bottles. keepin em for looks"

F♯ A♯ (∞), Thursday, 20 October 2016 17:07 (four years ago) link

If you were regularly getting drug-tested via unobserved urine samples, getting some piss from like a 9-year-old boy might be smart. Just sayin.

wingless yurp (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 20 October 2016 17:13 (four years ago) link

Sounds like someone's been watching too much Withnail & I.

emil.y, Thursday, 20 October 2016 17:18 (four years ago) link

children pissing in bottles - c or d

Neanderthal, Friday, 21 October 2016 20:27 (four years ago) link

Pissing in a bottle in front of a baby c/d

I want to change my display name (dan m), Saturday, 22 October 2016 03:44 (four years ago) link

I wonder what the context of a song called "piss bottle man" could be in a thread about piss bottles

I didn't realize that people often have images off tbh

on Zing, any video embed is a tiny 1.1mm high icon of a film projector

sad, hombres (sic), Saturday, 22 October 2016 05:26 (four years ago) link

that, if you click through to load it and find out what it is, will crash the thread when you go back to continue reading

and chew up a bunch of data if you're on the train or in the loo at work, rather than at home - just to read the title of the song or discover that it's an irrelevant non sequitur "lol epic fail"

emily and matt have votm points about list threads (these have been almost completely useless on ILX for years*) and link rot

*even on a browser, if you're sensibly using a Flashblock

sad, hombres (sic), Saturday, 22 October 2016 05:31 (four years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Monday, 24 October 2016 00:01 (four years ago) link

how big a bottle do you use? Anything smaller than 1L do you have fear that you'll overflow and unable to stop? It's harder to stop halfway through than to just hold it all in

^ 諷刺 (ken c), Monday, 24 October 2016 00:16 (four years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7M3EEHYkJ0

somewhat related

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 24 October 2016 00:34 (four years ago) link

"Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft..."

Tuomas, Monday, 24 October 2016 08:40 (four years ago) link

how big a bottle do you use? Anything smaller than 1L do you have fear that you'll overflow and unable to stop? It's harder to stop halfway through than to just hold it all in

― ^ 諷刺 (ken c), Sunday, October 23, 2016 8:16 PM (yesterday) Bookmark

when I peed I rarely overflowed a growler

, Monday, 24 October 2016 13:22 (four years ago) link

There's a long passage in "Corelli's Mandolin" where the portly village priest has to pee, but can't leave his sacristy due to some social embarrassment. His only recourse is some nearby bottles of communion wine. However, the bottles are full. So he feels decides to drink a bottle so as to have a place to put his urine. So far so good, but then he has a further problem, because he's just chugged a bottle of wine, and urgently needs to urinate again. So he needs to drink another bottle to make room for the pee. By the third bottle of wine he is hopelessly enmeshed in this vicious circle.

wingless yurp (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 24 October 2016 13:31 (four years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Tuesday, 25 October 2016 00:01 (four years ago) link

impressive turnout

nxd, Tuesday, 25 October 2016 08:25 (four years ago) link

I once peed in a BAG on a long bus trip because I knew the bottle wasn't big enough which is far worse.

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Tuesday, 25 October 2016 08:39 (four years ago) link

Why couldn't the priest just pour the wine out? Jeez.

Tuomas, Tuesday, 25 October 2016 08:57 (four years ago) link

ive witnessed a woman piss into a can (sawn off by penknife to a deathly serrated cylinder) in a violently rocking caravan in a storm and thought it quite the most risky venture id seen in some time iirc

ive pissed in a bottle. it was tough.

but not as tough as shitting into a rockpool.

the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Tuesday, 25 October 2016 10:44 (four years ago) link

why would you understand pissing in a bottle? urine doesn't harm the environment friends

i've watered plenty of bushes/forests

F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 25 October 2016 17:03 (four years ago) link

About twenty years ago a pal and I got trashed anticipating with dread the U2 Popmart concert. We cut it awfully close, boarding our friend's van without pissing first. Five minutes into the 25-minute drive, I thought my bladder would burst. In retrospect I should have asked him to pull over. Taking advantage of sitting by myself in the cab, I found a quarter full anti-freeze bottle, unscrewed the cap, and thrust in my cock.

My other friend, a young woman, saw my expression of ecstasy and numbness. "What's the matter with you? What's with your face?"

"I guess I'm nervous about the show."

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 25 October 2016 20:11 (four years ago) link

Taking advantage of sitting
by myself in the cab
I found a quarter full
anti-freeze bottle
Unscrewed the cap
and thrust in my cock

And there's a heart that's breaking
Down this long distance line tonight

I ain't missing you at all

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 25 October 2016 23:52 (four years ago) link

OTFM

Brevs Mekis (dandydonweiner), Tuesday, 25 October 2016 23:55 (four years ago) link

where is Neanderthal appreciation thread?

PappaWheelie V, Tuesday, 25 October 2016 23:58 (four years ago) link

Taking advantage of sitting
by myself in the cab
I found a quarter full
anti-freeze bottle
Unscrewed the cap
and thrust in my cock

Forgive me
it was delicious
so sweet
and so cold

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 26 October 2016 00:00 (four years ago) link

So much depends upon
A quarter-full anti-freeze bottle
Beside the whit chickens

wingless yurp (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 26 October 2016 00:17 (four years ago) link

I keep wondering why the cab had an antifreeze bottle in the car, like where passengers sit.

Brevs Mekis (dandydonweiner), Wednesday, 26 October 2016 00:28 (four years ago) link

Whose antifreeze I think I know
(In the trunk it should be though)
Unscrewed, I see it full to a quarter
It would, I think, accept more water.

Becabbed, as lonely as a rock,
Advantageously I free my cock.
Into the plastic neck I thrust
And urinate as need I must

Against the antifreeze piss pings
And on my shaft the droplets sting
My young friend marks my ecstasy,
Inquiring how it came to be.

I guess I'm nervous about the show,
I guess I'm nervous about the show.

rb (soda), Wednesday, 26 October 2016 01:50 (four years ago) link

I keep wondering why the cab had an antifreeze bottle in the car, like where passengers sit.

― Brevs Mekis (dandydonweiner

I meant I had a seat to myself in the back; my friend owned one of those mid '80s Dodge vans.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 26 October 2016 01:54 (four years ago) link

Those type of vintage vans always had loose stuff like antifreeze bottles rolling loose in them. I guess that's another thread tho.

It is threads like this that restore my faith in ILX each and every time I venture in.

Brevs Mekis (dandydonweiner), Wednesday, 26 October 2016 02:42 (four years ago) link

TS: pissing in bottles vs. pissing in jeans.

nickn, Wednesday, 26 October 2016 02:53 (four years ago) link

I dig pissing in bottles
And I love to get the chance to spray
I figure it's about the happiest sound goin' down today

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 26 October 2016 04:22 (four years ago) link

TS: pissing in bottles vs. pissing in jeans.

― nickn, Tuesday, October 25, 2016 10:53 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You may've won this bottle but bet your ass you won't win the wart

PappaWheelie V, Wednesday, 26 October 2016 14:00 (four years ago) link

four months pass...

well this was a first I didn't expect to add to my repertoire last night

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Friday, 17 March 2017 20:01 (three years ago) link

in my defense though I had attempted to piss in the local convenience store which of course had a huge sign over its bathrooms saying "out of order" and none other nearby.

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Friday, 17 March 2017 20:02 (three years ago) link

isn't that like the fifth or sixth time that song has been posted itt?

takin care of bismuth (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 17 March 2017 21:15 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.instagram.com/akrontruckerbombs/ aka piss jugs in akron

marcos, Thursday, 27 April 2017 19:17 (three years ago) link

At this point, do you actively search them out? Can you not drive down the road at any given time and not be scoping out every Coke bottle on the side of the street and wondering what's inside?

PJoA: I wouldn't say I actively look for them, they are everywhere. If I see a bottle and it looks suspicious I give it a second look and if it's a piss jug I document it.

marcos, Thursday, 27 April 2017 19:19 (three years ago) link

pissed in the sand this past weekend

i n f i n i t y (∞), Thursday, 27 April 2017 19:33 (three years ago) link

in and on actually haha

i n f i n i t y (∞), Thursday, 27 April 2017 19:33 (three years ago) link

hello pissboy in the sand

mookieproof, Thursday, 27 April 2017 19:45 (three years ago) link

i once took a shit directly into a fast flowing river from a distance of like 2 inches and watched the jobbie float away downstream

-_- (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 27 April 2017 19:49 (three years ago) link

just fyi

-_- (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 27 April 2017 19:49 (three years ago) link

guy who used to live in my old neighborhood would, while laying in the park at night, flip over to face the opposite direction to people and take a piss, then zip up and flip back over.

bizarrely he appears on the cover of this elton john album:

http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_500/MI0003/641/MI0003641854.jpg

-_- (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 27 April 2017 19:52 (three years ago) link

feel like la lechera needs to see this latest revive but am not really comfortable saying 'you should check out the piss bottle thread'

mookieproof, Thursday, 27 April 2017 19:56 (three years ago) link

Is this place at my command

i n f i n i t y (∞), Thursday, 27 April 2017 20:05 (three years ago) link

Hello pissboy in the dust
Is your bladder about to bust.

nickn, Thursday, 27 April 2017 20:07 (three years ago) link

Standing on a beach with my junk in my hand, staring at the sea, staring at the sand. I am the pisser.

okey-dokey, gnocchi (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 27 April 2017 22:04 (three years ago) link

Jim rivershitting is the high point of this thread imo

I want to change my display name (dan m), Friday, 28 April 2017 02:46 (three years ago) link

When you spend a lot of time outdoors away from buildings and roads, you inescapably will piss in nature when you need to piss. But then, all of nature pisses in nature. It's normal. Piss bottles are a whole 'nother thing entirely.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 28 April 2017 03:04 (three years ago) link

eleven months pass...

better late than never

http://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-warehouse-workers-have-to-pee-into-bottles-2018-4

F# A# (∞), Thursday, 26 April 2018 17:04 (two years ago) link


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