Increasingly Familiar Apple Lust Objects for 2016 and onwards

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New Apple Lust Objects for 2010 and onward

Old thread 14k posts so why not

WWDC is Monday, nobody seems to be expecting anything much. Maybe the Keynote will focus on Swift 3. OS X seems likely to get rebranded as macOS. Music on iPhone and iTunes will both change completely once again, infuriating everyone. New watch bands? Jokes about The Car? Does anyone even want a new Apple product at this point? Will Jimmy Iovine be allowed onstage?

Sean, let me be clear (silby), Thursday, 9 June 2016 17:24 (eight years ago) link

when do they announce the new iPhone? i care about that

Spottie, Thursday, 9 June 2016 18:02 (eight years ago) link

presumably September like all recent years

Sean, let me be clear (silby), Thursday, 9 June 2016 18:57 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

Nervous that the next MacBook Pro is going to max out at 1TB with non-replaceable storage. They wouldn't do that to us, right? Because when this thing ships in 2017 I'm going to need more than that.

0 / 0 (lukas), Thursday, 11 August 2016 18:25 (seven years ago) link

"1 TB should be enough for anyone." -Apple, probably

Your Favorite Album in the Cutout Bin, Thursday, 11 August 2016 20:06 (seven years ago) link

As usual, my phone is kind of fucked up just in time for the announcement and I'm just trying to make it last. Screen cracked a couple weeks ago, and it's really hard to make it charge.

socka flocka-jones (man alive), Thursday, 11 August 2016 20:13 (seven years ago) link

two years pass...

My partner picked up a new 2018 model 13" MacBook Pro and I'm jealous at a level I haven't dealt with since the Wall Street iteration of the PowerBook G3 finally got it right. My 15" is a goddamn barge and I'm finding that no model of iPad is an adequate travel substitute.

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 20 August 2018 07:25 (five years ago) link

i got a 3400c just before that. jealous years.

j., Monday, 20 August 2018 08:20 (five years ago) link

I always thought the Kanga / 3500 / G3 PowerBook was the ultimate in heartbreak. I had a 5300 though, so I know the worst a PowerBook can be.

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Monday, 20 August 2018 10:06 (five years ago) link

2018 seems like a good vintage of MacBooks to skip. I'm ready to order a 2019 model now, though.

Uhura Mazda (lukas), Monday, 20 August 2018 15:46 (five years ago) link

*silently pours one out for my old 1400cs*

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 20 August 2018 21:50 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Apple announcement day. *self-flagellates*

https://www.famousmonsters.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Logans-run-red_result.jpg

RENEW! RENEW!

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 04:33 (five years ago) link

Just tell me what the new Mac mini is...

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 04:43 (five years ago) link

excited for the redesigned spatial finder

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 04:55 (five years ago) link

I like my new MacBook Pro but am alternately cursing Apple for cutting HD space / not taking the +$400 hit and getting 1TB like my old laptop (a 2012 MacBook Pro).

Keyboard is fine but the trackpad sucks.

Touchscreen = I can summon emojis.

flappy bird, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 04:56 (five years ago) link

I took my '17 MBP in to get the left speaker fixed (apparently this is a thing) and got one of the new keyboards. I missed the press release on this: https://www.wired.com/story/apple-will-fix-broken-macbook-keyboards/

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 05:01 (five years ago) link

yeah glad I got one after that. the SSD is not replaceable?

flappy bird, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 05:04 (five years ago) link

Nope on the replaceable SSD.

I guess I'm probably going to pull the trigger on a fancy new Xs phone but can't make much of a compelling case when my 7 just keeps on going.

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 05:19 (five years ago) link

psyched for some extremely incremental improvements

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 15:14 (five years ago) link

Creepy new iPhone X scans your face to unlock, has built-in AI, thinks humans are obsolete:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYIo2Lj9xek

dinnerboat, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 15:24 (five years ago) link

https://theporouscity.com/media/timtweet.png

Uhura Mazda (lukas), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:23 (five years ago) link

It was already gone by the time I opened it.

Uhura Mazda (lukas), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:28 (five years ago) link

ECG thing for the watch is pretty great

Machine Gunk Jelly (Spottie), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:28 (five years ago) link

a little off topic but does anyone else use f.lux? it doesn't work on my new MacBook Pro and my eyes hurt

flappy bird, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:47 (five years ago) link

your new laptop should have that functionality built in!

Clay, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:48 (five years ago) link

yeah it's not nearly as good though, fluctuates too much, way too much blue at night. maybe i can monkey with the settings and/or just get used to it. apparently f.lux is working on a fix.

flappy bird, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:56 (five years ago) link

liquid retina huh.... maybe just call it plasma

Machine Gunk Jelly (Spottie), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 18:29 (five years ago) link

Haptic Touch = long press

DJI, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 18:33 (five years ago) link

They're never going to do a watch with an always-visible time, are they? Fuck.

stet, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 18:35 (five years ago) link

All I know is if they ever make an iOS release incompatible with the SE, and don’t update the SE, I’m outie.

faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:01 (five years ago) link

this might be worth sending a CEO email about, what’s Tim’s handle again

faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:02 (five years ago) link

Ugh you can’t buy an SE direct from Apple anymore, fuckin whatever dude.

faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:04 (five years ago) link

no new macbook air?!?

:_(

the late great, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:07 (five years ago) link

sounds like they discontinued the SE

the late great, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:07 (five years ago) link

Macs TK

I honestly feel nothing for any products Apple makes these days, I’m not mad or anything it’s all just at a stable equilibrium and design differentiators are basically impossible, since all anyone wants is things built on the same lines as the products Apple introduced 2003-2007. They are still dragging their heels on a MacBook based on an Apple-designed ARM SoC and that irritates me a bit.

faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:11 (five years ago) link

Shit, maybe I better grab one before it's too late. My 5s will be 5 years old in December. xp

WmC, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:19 (five years ago) link

Price drop on “obsolete “ phones always welcome after an announcement

calstars, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:19 (five years ago) link

Ok, so there's no longer going to be any retail model available with a headphone jack? I guess this really will be my last iphone.

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:39 (five years ago) link

either that or I invest in a good lightning DAC and just deal with the annoying bulk, I guesss

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:41 (five years ago) link

lol Apple now offering 7 different models at the same time

https://pbs.twimg.com/card_img/1039962912805330944/sYRoV1Zg?format=jpg&name=600x314

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:46 (five years ago) link

hell yeah steve jobs would be proud

What customer is targeted by having a larger iphone 8 at $699 vs a same-size iPhone XR at $50 more?

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:49 (five years ago) link

They’re basically admitting nobody gives a shit about the phone hardware anymore. It’s just a collection of price points

faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:50 (five years ago) link

I keep thinking "this is finally the release where people sour on Apple" and then their stock price doubles again.

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:51 (five years ago) link

xxp people who can't deal w/o a home button or hate the notch

the late great, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:53 (five years ago) link

Imagine what Steve Jobs would say about the "I Phone Ten XS Max."

http://blog.consumerguide.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2012/11/Screen-Shot-2018-04-11-at-10.39.01-AM.png

DJI, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:59 (five years ago) link

love how they used the planet image on the newer and pricier options so it's juuuuuust out of the way of the notch, attempting to fool us into believing maybe it's not there.

getting the max tho obv. my 6+ did it's job for four years.

Machine Gunk Jelly (Spottie), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 20:14 (five years ago) link

Literally bought an 8 yesterday fuck

gbx, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 21:07 (five years ago) link

512 gb Max is $1449
LOLOLOL

calstars, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 22:08 (five years ago) link

increments increments increments

calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 22:22 (five years ago) link

I mean they launched the iPod right after 9/11 and that was OK

stet, Wednesday, 24 April 2024 14:48 (one month ago) link

Ha! I guess in retrospect U2 did more reputational damage to Apple than Al Qaeda

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 24 April 2024 14:54 (one month ago) link

Philip... thank you

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Wednesday, 24 April 2024 15:21 (one month ago) link

I dont think it’s the computing hardware that’s the weight but rather the glass and metal accents (purely aesthetic) vs thr quest’s use of plastic

calstars, Wednesday, 24 April 2024 15:58 (one month ago) link

M4 iPads, great, my M1 iPad is just way too slow at reading PDFs and watching YouTube videos.

default damager (lukas), Tuesday, 7 May 2024 18:32 (one month ago) link

haha i was gonna say. tremendous upgrades for something that is user-hostile for anything other than watching netflix in bed with

, Tuesday, 7 May 2024 18:50 (one month ago) link

even that isn't ideal if you want to eat some popcorn at the same time

calstars, Tuesday, 7 May 2024 19:02 (one month ago) link

Apple deletes San Francisco highway to better advertise new iPads

https://www.sfgate.com/tech/article/apple-ipad-launch-sf-highway-19444449.php

Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 8 May 2024 00:10 (one month ago) link

That new version of Final Cut getting some screen time

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Wednesday, 8 May 2024 00:13 (one month ago) link

new Logic Pro adds AI!!!!!!

papal hotwife (milo z), Wednesday, 8 May 2024 00:14 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

AI, anyone?

, Monday, 10 June 2024 19:59 (four days ago) link

"Hey Siri, call goomah"
"CALL MOM?"
"No! Call goomah!"
"CALLING MOM"

calstars, Monday, 10 June 2024 20:53 (four days ago) link

I was going to outburst "I remember when you saw actual code in the WWDC keynote" until I realized that it's like complaining that MTV doesn't show videos anymore.

Elvis Telecom, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 09:37 (three days ago) link

when they led with the Vision Pro stuff I thought for a moment they might do the funniest thing: tell the devs they'll get more API features on all the other platforms as soon as they start shipping apps for the headset

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Tuesday, 11 June 2024 13:56 (three days ago) link

Apple takes a page from AllTrails and will have hiking maps of all 63 U.S. National Parks available.

Which is great, if you live within 1000 miles of Cupertino. The rest of us will be using them to get around the city of Hot Springs and the Gateway Arch museum, I guess.

The popular location app will also have voice guidance for trail directions

I'm bringing bear spray just for the moment I hear Siri yapping in the Flatside Wilderness.

pplains, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 15:33 (three days ago) link

the only national parks are on the west coast? news to me!

Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 11 June 2024 17:11 (three days ago) link

well they’re very concentrated in the west. here in the northeast we have acadia and that’s it.

, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 17:21 (three days ago) link

the only national parks are on the west coast? news to me!

Who said they were?

pplains, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 19:07 (three days ago) link

You said this hiking trails feature is only useful within 1000 miles of cupertino

Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 11 June 2024 19:12 (three days ago) link

Hmmm mmmm. And you know what I didn't say?

https://i.imgur.com/dwuAkAs.png

Look, I love national parks. I love to hike. But it's a little unnecessary to include all this!

pplains, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 19:16 (three days ago) link

It sounds like Apple seeing a cool app out there and attempting to blow them out of the water in some sort of hamfisted way.

pplains, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 19:25 (three days ago) link

Hahaha I think it’s very telling that Apple is now at the point where one can say “this app is most useful within 1000 miles of Apple’s headquarters” and everyone assumes it’s because of an app limitation and not because the dataset powering the app fits that paradigm

Cemetry Gaetz (DJP), Tuesday, 11 June 2024 19:44 (three days ago) link

pour one out for platt national park

, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 19:44 (three days ago) link

Hiking the St. Louis arch

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Tuesday, 11 June 2024 21:24 (three days ago) link

Which is great, if you live within 1000 miles of Cupertino. The rest of us will be using them to get around the city of Hot Springs and the Gateway Arch museum, I guess.

can someone dumb this down for me

default damager (lukas), Tuesday, 11 June 2024 21:31 (three days ago) link

they're not really hiking locations

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Tuesday, 11 June 2024 21:54 (three days ago) link

Great Smoky Mountains National Park is the most visited national park in the country!

Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 11 June 2024 22:03 (three days ago) link

Look I'm all for shitting down Apple's neck but I don't think this is a sound line of critique

Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 11 June 2024 22:05 (three days ago) link

many of the national parks not within 1000 miles of cupertino kind of suck (i.e. gateway arch is a manmade monument that was made into a national park for political reasons and that the NPS was against making into a park, hot springs is actually a resort, indiana dunes is just like a lake beach? and cuyahoga valley is a superfund site) and as mh said don't really have hiking

, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 22:07 (three days ago) link

Also I love cell service please, sir, tell me, is there cell service in gates of the arctic?

Sir, I must know, do batteries do well in the cold?

Sir, I can no longer wait, tell me what the hiking trails are for the reefs in the US Virgin Islands

i didn't mention congaree, which i actually like, but many people dismiss as just a big swamp. for comparison, compare the number of trails available in congarees in alltrails with those available in, say, glacier:

https://www.alltrails.com/parks/us/south-carolina/congaree-national-park
https://www.alltrails.com/parks/us/montana/glacier-national-park

, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 22:29 (three days ago) link

anyway i don't really agree with pp's criticism but i understand where it's coming from. this is a feature that is much more likely to be dreamt up in cupertino than in hoboken. but as a parks guy i think it's cool and welcome it. and it gave me an excuse to talk a bit about congaree, which has a mosquito meter.

, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 22:40 (three days ago) link

when america is put on the scale and judged by the angel of history, i think it will be known for making two contributions to the sum of all good things in the world:

-public stewardship of public lands, and
-baseball.

everything else america has done has been a net drag on the world, an oily putrescence, an abscess in the brain. the decline of the empire cannot happen soon enough.

, Tuesday, 11 June 2024 22:45 (three days ago) link

i mean we can argue about origins given any number of factors but you’re missing some pretty big musical gifts to the world…

butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Wednesday, 12 June 2024 00:46 (two days ago) link

all the good stuff is cancelled out by improv comedy

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, 12 June 2024 01:13 (two days ago) link

I have at least a dozen lines of criticism about national parks, the origins of the entire environmental movement, the Department of the Interior, and unequal access along usual race and class lines. Who has the ability to take time off from work and go somewhere where they'll need an offline hiking map on their phone?

I love the parks. I love hiking. I'm really happy that a National Monument moved in up the street from me last month. I think smartphones in general have affected who is doing what out in the backcountry and all the apps: AllTrails, Peakery, TripAdvisor, etc. have amplified all that long before Apple finally getting around to building in hiking maps.

My prediction is that more people will sacrifice themselves on Mount Baldy and search and rescue will go above and beyond to get them out of trouble.

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 12 June 2024 02:13 (two days ago) link

Gawd, this is what happens when you have a complete snoozefest of a keynote.

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 12 June 2024 02:14 (two days ago) link

but you’re missing some pretty big musical gifts to the world…

I'll put my map of the Channel Islands right next to my free U2 album in my phone.

pplains, Thursday, 13 June 2024 14:01 (yesterday) link

Channel Islands is the absolute worst national park in the USA:

1 hour ferry slog through often rough, open water
Islands are absolutely plastered in rat/seal/pelican shit
The surrounding water is insanely treacherous and a great white feeding zone

Mrs. Ippei (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 13 June 2024 14:28 (yesterday) link

Scratch that: The Channel Islands are the U2 of USA National Parks

Mrs. Ippei (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 13 June 2024 14:29 (yesterday) link

Flagged for nonsense

https://i.imgur.com/R4UMomN.jpeg

pplains, Thursday, 13 June 2024 15:35 (yesterday) link

I dl'd the beta of iOS18 and it is buggy af but I'll be off the grid (no cell service/wifi) next week so I wanted to make sure I have that alltrails offline integration plus satellite text capability. I hope I get an update push by the weekend.

ps: JimmyTM, I will be at an actually amazing national park, you can have the ratshit islands lol.

Mrs. Ippei (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 13 June 2024 16:25 (yesterday) link

Lol which park u share

NW Yosemite backcountry wilderness: Poopenaut Valley -> Miguel Meadow -> Lake Eleanor

Mrs. Ippei (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 13 June 2024 22:28 (yesterday) link

lol they pulled a classic apple deal with openai and pitched the integration as an opportunity for openai to sell subscriptions. it’s sounding like apple paid $0 and probably implemented the integration as a pluggable framework meaning they can offer other engines or replace them at any moment

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Thursday, 13 June 2024 22:56 (yesterday) link

Sick xp


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