Increasingly Familiar Apple Lust Objects for 2016 and onwards

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New Apple Lust Objects for 2010 and onward

Old thread 14k posts so why not

WWDC is Monday, nobody seems to be expecting anything much. Maybe the Keynote will focus on Swift 3. OS X seems likely to get rebranded as macOS. Music on iPhone and iTunes will both change completely once again, infuriating everyone. New watch bands? Jokes about The Car? Does anyone even want a new Apple product at this point? Will Jimmy Iovine be allowed onstage?

Sean, let me be clear (silby), Thursday, 9 June 2016 17:24 (three years ago) link

when do they announce the new iPhone? i care about that

Spottie, Thursday, 9 June 2016 18:02 (three years ago) link

presumably September like all recent years

Sean, let me be clear (silby), Thursday, 9 June 2016 18:57 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

Nervous that the next MacBook Pro is going to max out at 1TB with non-replaceable storage. They wouldn't do that to us, right? Because when this thing ships in 2017 I'm going to need more than that.

0 / 0 (lukas), Thursday, 11 August 2016 18:25 (two years ago) link

"1 TB should be enough for anyone." -Apple, probably

Your Favorite Album in the Cutout Bin, Thursday, 11 August 2016 20:06 (two years ago) link

As usual, my phone is kind of fucked up just in time for the announcement and I'm just trying to make it last. Screen cracked a couple weeks ago, and it's really hard to make it charge.

socka flocka-jones (man alive), Thursday, 11 August 2016 20:13 (two years ago) link

two years pass...

My partner picked up a new 2018 model 13" MacBook Pro and I'm jealous at a level I haven't dealt with since the Wall Street iteration of the PowerBook G3 finally got it right. My 15" is a goddamn barge and I'm finding that no model of iPad is an adequate travel substitute.

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 20 August 2018 07:25 (ten months ago) link

i got a 3400c just before that. jealous years.

j., Monday, 20 August 2018 08:20 (ten months ago) link

I always thought the Kanga / 3500 / G3 PowerBook was the ultimate in heartbreak. I had a 5300 though, so I know the worst a PowerBook can be.

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Monday, 20 August 2018 10:06 (ten months ago) link

2018 seems like a good vintage of MacBooks to skip. I'm ready to order a 2019 model now, though.

Uhura Mazda (lukas), Monday, 20 August 2018 15:46 (ten months ago) link

*silently pours one out for my old 1400cs*

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 20 August 2018 21:50 (ten months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Apple announcement day. *self-flagellates*

https://www.famousmonsters.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Logans-run-red_result.jpg

RENEW! RENEW!

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 04:33 (ten months ago) link

Just tell me what the new Mac mini is...

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 04:43 (ten months ago) link

excited for the redesigned spatial finder

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 04:55 (ten months ago) link

I like my new MacBook Pro but am alternately cursing Apple for cutting HD space / not taking the +$400 hit and getting 1TB like my old laptop (a 2012 MacBook Pro).

Keyboard is fine but the trackpad sucks.

Touchscreen = I can summon emojis.

flappy bird, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 04:56 (ten months ago) link

I took my '17 MBP in to get the left speaker fixed (apparently this is a thing) and got one of the new keyboards. I missed the press release on this: https://www.wired.com/story/apple-will-fix-broken-macbook-keyboards/

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 05:01 (ten months ago) link

yeah glad I got one after that. the SSD is not replaceable?

flappy bird, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 05:04 (ten months ago) link

Nope on the replaceable SSD.

I guess I'm probably going to pull the trigger on a fancy new Xs phone but can't make much of a compelling case when my 7 just keeps on going.

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 05:19 (ten months ago) link

psyched for some extremely incremental improvements

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 15:14 (ten months ago) link

Creepy new iPhone X scans your face to unlock, has built-in AI, thinks humans are obsolete:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYIo2Lj9xek

dinnerboat, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 15:24 (ten months ago) link

https://theporouscity.com/media/timtweet.png

Uhura Mazda (lukas), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:23 (ten months ago) link

It was already gone by the time I opened it.

Uhura Mazda (lukas), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:28 (ten months ago) link

ECG thing for the watch is pretty great

Machine Gunk Jelly (Spottie), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:28 (ten months ago) link

a little off topic but does anyone else use f.lux? it doesn't work on my new MacBook Pro and my eyes hurt

flappy bird, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:47 (ten months ago) link

your new laptop should have that functionality built in!

Clay, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:48 (ten months ago) link

yeah it's not nearly as good though, fluctuates too much, way too much blue at night. maybe i can monkey with the settings and/or just get used to it. apparently f.lux is working on a fix.

flappy bird, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:56 (ten months ago) link

liquid retina huh.... maybe just call it plasma

Machine Gunk Jelly (Spottie), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 18:29 (ten months ago) link

Haptic Touch = long press

DJI, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 18:33 (ten months ago) link

They're never going to do a watch with an always-visible time, are they? Fuck.

stet, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 18:35 (ten months ago) link

All I know is if they ever make an iOS release incompatible with the SE, and don’t update the SE, I’m outie.

faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:01 (ten months ago) link

this might be worth sending a CEO email about, what’s Tim’s handle again

faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:02 (ten months ago) link

Ugh you can’t buy an SE direct from Apple anymore, fuckin whatever dude.

faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:04 (ten months ago) link

no new macbook air?!?

:_(

the late great, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:07 (ten months ago) link

sounds like they discontinued the SE

the late great, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:07 (ten months ago) link

Macs TK

I honestly feel nothing for any products Apple makes these days, I’m not mad or anything it’s all just at a stable equilibrium and design differentiators are basically impossible, since all anyone wants is things built on the same lines as the products Apple introduced 2003-2007. They are still dragging their heels on a MacBook based on an Apple-designed ARM SoC and that irritates me a bit.

faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:11 (ten months ago) link

Shit, maybe I better grab one before it's too late. My 5s will be 5 years old in December. xp

WmC, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:19 (ten months ago) link

Price drop on “obsolete “ phones always welcome after an announcement

calstars, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:19 (ten months ago) link

Ok, so there's no longer going to be any retail model available with a headphone jack? I guess this really will be my last iphone.

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:39 (ten months ago) link

either that or I invest in a good lightning DAC and just deal with the annoying bulk, I guesss

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:41 (ten months ago) link

lol Apple now offering 7 different models at the same time

https://pbs.twimg.com/card_img/1039962912805330944/sYRoV1Zg?format=jpg&name=600x314

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:46 (ten months ago) link

hell yeah steve jobs would be proud

What customer is targeted by having a larger iphone 8 at $699 vs a same-size iPhone XR at $50 more?

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:49 (ten months ago) link

They’re basically admitting nobody gives a shit about the phone hardware anymore. It’s just a collection of price points

faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:50 (ten months ago) link

I keep thinking "this is finally the release where people sour on Apple" and then their stock price doubles again.

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:51 (ten months ago) link

xxp people who can't deal w/o a home button or hate the notch

the late great, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:53 (ten months ago) link

Imagine what Steve Jobs would say about the "I Phone Ten XS Max."

http://blog.consumerguide.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2012/11/Screen-Shot-2018-04-11-at-10.39.01-AM.png

DJI, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 19:59 (ten months ago) link

love how they used the planet image on the newer and pricier options so it's juuuuuust out of the way of the notch, attempting to fool us into believing maybe it's not there.

getting the max tho obv. my 6+ did it's job for four years.

Machine Gunk Jelly (Spottie), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 20:14 (ten months ago) link

Literally bought an 8 yesterday fuck

gbx, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 21:07 (ten months ago) link

512 gb Max is $1449
LOLOLOL

calstars, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 22:08 (ten months ago) link

increments increments increments

calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 22:22 (ten months ago) link

it's full of holes

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Monday, 3 June 2019 18:21 (one month ago) link

RIP my iPhone 6.

pomenitul, Monday, 3 June 2019 18:22 (one month ago) link

some not-fuckin-around max specifications on this thing

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Monday, 3 June 2019 18:22 (one month ago) link

anyway someone post it on the trypophobia thread

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Monday, 3 June 2019 18:23 (one month ago) link

Do we have to wait til fall for these iOS update goodies?

calstars, Monday, 3 June 2019 18:24 (one month ago) link

Oh it’s my old G5 tower!

calstars, Monday, 3 June 2019 18:28 (one month ago) link

I like this new screen. I like wheels!

stet, Monday, 3 June 2019 18:31 (one month ago) link

well, they did it, they delivered a fuck-off video and audio editing machine

mh, Monday, 3 June 2019 18:40 (one month ago) link

Mac Pro starts at $6k

stet, Monday, 3 June 2019 18:42 (one month ago) link

$4999 for the screen, fucking hell, $5999 for the matte. And the stand is another grand FUCK

stet, Monday, 3 June 2019 18:43 (one month ago) link

how much for the Mac Pro wheels? HOW MUCH FOR WHEELS?

mh, Monday, 3 June 2019 18:47 (one month ago) link

curious to hear what the maxed out price is, i'm guessing 8999

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 3 June 2019 18:57 (one month ago) link

maxed out is going to be way north of that. the Xeon 28-core alone is $8k

stet, Monday, 3 June 2019 19:00 (one month ago) link

$23,999.

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Monday, 3 June 2019 19:00 (one month ago) link

“Apple said that when a device is offline and sleeping, it sends out a secure Bluetooth beacon that can be detected by other Apple devices nearby, even the ones owned by other people. This results in a network that works to find lost Apple devices through a secure, encrypted, and anonymous signal relay.”
This is weird...widescale mainstream mesh

calstars, Monday, 3 June 2019 19:02 (one month ago) link

Looks like they finally have a solution in place of the online store saying “we’ll be back soon”

calstars, Monday, 3 June 2019 19:04 (one month ago) link

curious to hear what the maxed out price is, i'm guessing 8999

― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, June 3, 2019 1:57 PM (eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haven't done it for a few years but a friend and I would jokingly max out the top-end system on the website back when Mac Pros were a running thing with regular updates and, even without RAID you could hit $10k reliably

mh, Monday, 3 June 2019 19:07 (one month ago) link

That Minecraft VR demo though ...

calstars, Monday, 3 June 2019 19:08 (one month ago) link

yeeks

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 3 June 2019 19:34 (one month ago) link

SwiftUI will be such an improvement to my average, daily quality of life that I almost broke down.

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 3 June 2019 20:15 (one month ago) link

page updated: https://www.apple.com/mac-pro/

so the weird expansion thing (MPX) is basically a way to throw the power connection for the video card along with more connection points to the bus on to the motherboard in a straight line instead of dropping more wires through the case and the card they're sourcing from AMD is using their specialty chip-to-chip bus, which isn't an apple-specific thing necessarily

no idea wtf Afterburner is, because "programmable ASIC" is general enough to mean it could do lots of things depending on what kind of basic instructions it allows. looks like their first-party video editing will be using some sort of API to interact with it, and it'll be interesting to see if they open it up

mh, Monday, 3 June 2019 20:20 (one month ago) link

xp I did shed some tears of sympathy for the iOS developers watching that. hope it makes life less bad, Elvis!

mh, Monday, 3 June 2019 20:21 (one month ago) link

Can you explain SwiftUI in terms a dyed-in-the-wool Objective-C/IB-before-storyboards relic can understand?

stet, Monday, 3 June 2019 20:53 (one month ago) link

from one screenshot it looks like declarative nested frames as code, ie the only way I can imagine actually ever learning to program a GUI

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Monday, 3 June 2019 21:00 (one month ago) link

Gonna need to watch Platforms SoTU in a minute.

Meanwhile pls excuse stroughton smith tweet but MOUSE ON IPAD

Hello mouse support on iOS 13! It’s an AssistiveTouch feature, and works with USB mice. @viticci nailed this pic.twitter.com/nj6xGAKSg0

— Steve Troughton-Smith (@stroughtonsmith) June 3, 2019

stet, Monday, 3 June 2019 21:09 (one month ago) link

I’m getting this now I think; it’s really nice. Like having bindings back again, for one thing.

stet, Monday, 3 June 2019 22:35 (one month ago) link

my favorite part of any new iOS is the wallpaper

https://9to5mac.com/2019/06/03/ios-13-wallpaper/

calstars, Monday, 3 June 2019 23:43 (one month ago) link

three weeks pass...

pretty good business plan if you can actually swing it

mh, Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:16 (three weeks ago) link

“Sir” Ive lol

calstars, Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:22 (three weeks ago) link

OH you put the buttton HERE ...well let me knight yo azz just so the world knows where you’re from

calstars, Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:26 (three weeks ago) link

Every forthcoming article about Jonny Ive’s design genius and legacy should be required by law to include this photo pic.twitter.com/mAkpmDSBqC

— laura olin (@lauraolin) June 27, 2019

Simon H., Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:27 (three weeks ago) link

lol!

Shite New Answers (jed_), Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:34 (three weeks ago) link

Sir Botox.

Shite New Answers (jed_), Thursday, 27 June 2019 21:35 (three weeks ago) link

hockey puck mouse too

dan selzer, Friday, 28 June 2019 00:02 (two weeks ago) link

I actually liked the hockey puck a lot, once they added the dimple. I don’t think they’ve made a decent mouse since, come to think of it.

stet, Friday, 28 June 2019 00:05 (two weeks ago) link

Hockey puck was very cool

calstars, Friday, 28 June 2019 00:17 (two weeks ago) link

you all are crazy. always pointing in the wrong direction.

dan selzer, Friday, 28 June 2019 03:32 (two weeks ago) link

And super poor ergonomics!

DJI, Friday, 28 June 2019 03:45 (two weeks ago) link

Rumors and stories!

https://www.macrumors.com/2019/07/01/jony-ive-dispirited-before-leaving-apple/

Ned Raggett, Monday, 1 July 2019 18:13 (two weeks ago) link

Wah

Little jony’s Departure meant zero to the stock price

calstars, Monday, 1 July 2019 20:41 (two weeks ago) link

Credibility of that piece a little undercut by that quote saying Ive built Apple into an HCI powerhouse

but everybody calls me, (lukas), Monday, 1 July 2019 21:55 (two weeks ago) link

Alexander wept, for there were no more buttons to remove

Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Tuesday, 2 July 2019 01:47 (two weeks ago) link

lol

calstars, Tuesday, 2 July 2019 17:05 (two weeks ago) link

we had a laptop in flames on our floor, one of the bad batch that they are recalling.

(it's a big floor, probably two hundred macbooks in total.)

koogs, Saturday, 13 July 2019 20:24 (five days ago) link

I may have to buy that rumored 16” MacBook if it’s not too insane $$$

calstars, Saturday, 13 July 2019 20:54 (five days ago) link

I had my battery and lower case replaced for free because of the battery issue

EZ Snappin, Saturday, 13 July 2019 21:13 (five days ago) link

Unfortunately the IT supplier that we use seems to have a different set of priorities and hasn't sorted out a returns policy as yet. People who have affected laptops, according to the serial number checker, have reported it but have been told to keep using the laptop until arrangements have been made.

koogs, Sunday, 14 July 2019 06:19 (four days ago) link

I had a 17" macbook pro (last model made) that spit out a puff of flame from its FW port one day. Apple called me and asked if I was injured (presumably to head off a lawsuit). I wasn't, but every last part of that laptop was eventually replaced.

Sassy Boutonnière (ledriver), Sunday, 14 July 2019 07:09 (four days ago) link

they don’t call it a firewire port for nothin’


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