how much thought do you waste "controlling 'yourself'"

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Poll Results

25%? 9
free bird 4
20%? 4
happy serf 3
less than 1% 2
10? 1
5%? 0

reggie (qualmsley), Friday, 13 November 2015 07:05 (seven years ago) link

ballpark figure

reggie (qualmsley), Friday, 13 November 2015 07:06 (seven years ago) link

consider perhaps conceptualizing "the self" may in some sense be "control"

reggie (qualmsley), Friday, 13 November 2015 07:12 (seven years ago) link

Do the long sleepless nights of anxiety, regret, and jaundiced life reviews count as "controlling 'yourself'" activity?

quixotic yet visceral (Bob Six), Friday, 13 November 2015 11:53 (seven years ago) link

Not half enough, I feel

i don't care i'm nuts i'm out of control idgaf

Operating Thetan III (monster mash), Friday, 13 November 2015 13:16 (seven years ago) link

I have terrible impulse oh look there's a leaf blowing past

John Dope Assos (Noodle Vague), Friday, 13 November 2015 13:27 (seven years ago) link

i'm shitting ceaselessly rn

j., Friday, 13 November 2015 13:35 (seven years ago) link

It is impossible to walk, eat, speak, type on this keyboard, or aim my piss into the pissoir without controlling myself. If pissing my pants is freedom, I don't want to be free!

Aimless, Friday, 13 November 2015 18:23 (seven years ago) link

I'm controlled by the media

Tell The BTLs to Fuck Off (wins), Friday, 13 November 2015 18:24 (seven years ago) link

No "Pasting a smile on my face as I wish flaming death on the universe," no credibility.

Diana Fire (, Friday, 13 November 2015 18:26 (seven years ago) link

running open loop rn

the grimes of claire boucher ('90s on) (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 13 November 2015 18:28 (seven years ago) link

Is this about r/nofap?

how's life, Friday, 13 November 2015 18:29 (seven years ago) link

yeah, i need more info here

i made a scope for my laser musket out of some (forksclovetofu), Friday, 13 November 2015 21:28 (seven years ago) link

i'd like to vote in this but i'm not sure i understand the question

rap is dad (it's a boy!), Friday, 13 November 2015 21:30 (seven years ago) link

play it pretty for atlanta

mookieproof, Saturday, 14 November 2015 01:11 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Thursday, 24 December 2015 00:01 (seven years ago) link

feel like this thread could have been a place for some heavy reflection

define "waste," qualms

tremendous crime wave and killing wave (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Thursday, 24 December 2015 01:50 (seven years ago) link

recently i lost composure in a meeting at work and yelled at a few people (for good reasons that nobody here would care about). this was the first such outburst in my tenure at my job. in a sense i was glad that when push came to shove, i could respond to confrontational people in their own language. in another sense, i was bummed to be so affected by a job i like to think i don't really care about.

as i understand it, this is often the way conflict is resolved in type-a corp/competitive professional america (an environment i never wished to feel at home in). really, it was a reminder that my hold on composure is more tenuous than i had previously considered

INTOXICATING LIQUORS (art), Thursday, 24 December 2015 01:59 (seven years ago) link

the yellees were all way above me on the food chain, just to be clear. i feel like they're the more acceptable targets generally since the only job that is endangered in these confrontations is my own

INTOXICATING LIQUORS (art), Thursday, 24 December 2015 02:01 (seven years ago) link

my steady state is doing nothing at all

i guess i "control 'myself'" by generally going to work and otherwise functioning in society? i don't think of it that way, though -- i don't have to restrain myself from doing things

mookieproof, Thursday, 24 December 2015 02:05 (seven years ago) link

by "waste" i sorta mean behave in conformity to an overdetermined sense of identity

reggie (qualmsley), Thursday, 24 December 2015 04:58 (seven years ago) link

i scream a lot on subway platforms now

also, tonight, suggested I take the train back home ~3 hours after arriving at familee Xmas camp

so probably when my control DOES slip, i hit a home run

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 24 December 2015 05:10 (seven years ago) link


mookieproof, Thursday, 24 December 2015 05:18 (seven years ago) link

I work retail, and yesterday I was helping a guy find some stuff, and it was like I was on speed and I couldn't slow down and I was sweating and trying to bring it back.

The guy did me a huge favor and realized I was losing it and talked directly to me and thanked me and let me go, and I got off the sales floor and used some breathing and reality checking and was able to get back out there.

Time spent ahead of time thinking about this isn't wasted. I have to be ready for tomorrow starting tonight. If I'm fucking feeling awesome, I barely have to worry about controlling myself. If I'm feeling terrible it is worth it to spend some thought and time controlling myself. Drinking too much the night before quadruples the burden.

Zachary Taylor, Thursday, 24 December 2015 05:25 (seven years ago) link

i post here so obv not enough

the late great, Thursday, 24 December 2015 06:31 (seven years ago) link

ZT makes the excellent point that if you want to minimize time spent on self-control, you have to HAVE TO have to do it in advance of the stressful situation. The fatigue that results from an unplanned exercise of massive self control usually means that you'll lose it later that evening.

El Tomboto, Thursday, 24 December 2015 07:04 (seven years ago) link

Brain time spent reigning in impulses: 0.1%
Brain time spent feeling guilty about not reigning in impulses: 70%

a passing spacecadet, Thursday, 24 December 2015 10:33 (seven years ago) link


darraghmac, Thursday, 24 December 2015 10:34 (seven years ago) link

I know the impulse/guilt thing pretty well. Been doing counselling the last few months and I feel like I've let go of the controlling part a bit, though I still think knowing when to be hard on self and when not to, and when to just be, is some kind of existential question that I can't ever answer. I find it hard to do any one thing without thinking I should be doing another, or getting distracted.

japanese mage (LocalGarda), Thursday, 24 December 2015 11:07 (seven years ago) link

Feeling guilty about inability to rein in poor spelling impulses btw

I am super bad at e.g. reining in the impulse to read the internet when I ought to be working, doing housework, anything other than reading the internet; always following a chain of minor instant impulses for hours on end with no thought to time passing or any kind of overarching goal, also always letting my emotions get the better of me (have always cried easily, tend to snap at merest inconvenience)

I am p. bad at saying the wrong thing to people without thinking or even when I've thought "I shd definitely not say that thing" and yet I also often don't express entirely innocuous opinions for fear that someone will disagree, so that's I guess a different kind of impulse control miscalibration

a passing spacecadet, Thursday, 24 December 2015 13:18 (seven years ago) link

if New Yorkers didn't 'control ourselves' we might kill ~5-20 people a day

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 24 December 2015 13:57 (seven years ago) link

About 95% of my life is me carefully controlling every thought, action, and reaction based on how an imaginary audience would judge me.

It's like being Catholic but without the communion wine

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 24 December 2015 14:14 (seven years ago) link

This thread title gets at what I find hard about my job and have trouble expressing about it, that it requires me to constantly corral myself into keeping track of the dozens of different small to medium sized tasks that come up with no particular order or regularity or schedule, so I am constantly expending energy just to get myself to keep on top of them.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 24 December 2015 14:17 (seven years ago) link

It's like being Catholic but without the communion wine

there's no communion wine in catholicism - think you may be confusing it with old men molesting children.

japanese mage (LocalGarda), Thursday, 24 December 2015 14:20 (seven years ago) link

I am super bad at e.g. reining in the impulse to read the internet when I ought to be working, doing housework, anything other than reading the internet

i get this for sure - i have been trying to write fiction and drama stuff for the last few years and doing some little bit, but it haunts my every other activity. i spoke to my counsellor about watching a movie and spending the entire thing feeling nagged by myself about the fact i wasn't writing. this was during a long writer's block. weirdly, as soon as i acknowledged i was doing this, and decided i was going to just watch a movie every night for a week, and not nag myself - after like two days and two movies i wandered into my room and wrote.

so i sort of want to say i learned to go with an impulse - but i also know if i went with all my impulses i would just slide into total entropy of drinking, eating badly, doing nothing and neglecting to do things which i know lead me to be happier.

i guess maybe it's a case of not being too hard on yourself - it doesn't seem worthwhile in any way.

japanese mage (LocalGarda), Thursday, 24 December 2015 14:25 (seven years ago) link

This time of year there's also a lot of control effort wrt all the sweets that vendors send to the office. I'm not good at that. I just ate a terrible cupcake that said "From the Jared Simon Group" on the icing. And some caramel corn from some sort of data service provider.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 24 December 2015 15:33 (seven years ago) link

always trying to improve the quality of the impulses I immediately indulge

ogmor, Thursday, 24 December 2015 15:50 (seven years ago) link

I'm at work right now. While here I probably spend more time willing my self to evaporate completely, rather than spending any energy controlling the remnants of whatever's left.

rap is dad (it's a boy!), Thursday, 24 December 2015 16:02 (seven years ago) link

flappy bird

flappy bird, Thursday, 24 December 2015 16:13 (seven years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Friday, 25 December 2015 00:01 (seven years ago) link

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