Facebook neighborhood groups are the worst thing ever

This is like one step away from the OMG, WHO'S CAT IS THIS? and it's a bobcat in a sink.

Except this one actually happened.

https://i.imgur.com/7emhMJ3.png

Gonna start posting a buncha frogs to my feed.

Is this your bald dog?

Is this your crow?

How about this one

UPDATE: found another nineteen crows. If any of these are yours please let me know!

I could never have predicted that the phrase "just in case" would have become one of my most-hated.

That doesn't seem that unreasonable unless your area is... very full of tortoises. Is it?

just had a lengthy neighborhood thread (deleted now): a woman said her son had found a corpse in a suitcase and was traumatized, and it took about fifty messages for someone else to chime in and say it was actually a live man sleeping *on* on ottoman. but that the guy who found him was indeed traumatized.

the sleeping man was alive, but the Otto man was dead, right?

The facebook group for my local area has grown massively in the last few months. Amongst other things, the number of suspicious characters spotted from behind twitching curtains has of course exploded alongside this. Thankfully there is at least a small minority speaking up against the overzealous suspicion and paranoia.

I'm itching to post clips from Hot Fuzz, but am not sure the joke is worth the hassle that could ensue... "The Greater Good!".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUpbOliTHJY

Do it!

Would they understand a Gladys Kravitz gif?

Not someone I would have known before Googling, but I think that would work very well too. I was trying to find good Rear Window clips too.

https://i.imgur.com/WaSTcrq.jpg

"for sale, electrical wire, never used"

The persistently terrible parking around us is bringing me to verge of posting sincerely in the above-mentioned Facebook local neighbourhood group. I'm resisting by meta-posting here instead. Might have to buy some variety of 'You Park Like A...' stickers.

"Fox spotted in the wood behind our gardens!"

#SaveTheWoodFromBecomingStreets-petition

(two weeks later)

"What's killing our chickens? Another three last night :-( "

A classic awful post today from a repeat offender, this time concerning local Christmas decorations, bemoaning the "politically correct" 'Seasons Greetings' sign that goes up at the gates of the local park every year because "It doesn't even mention christmas". You can imagine the discussion which has ensued.

my latest favorite thing on nextdoor is the weekly "anyone know why police helicopter is flying overhead?"

― assawoman bay (harbl), Thursday, September 22, 2016 7:00 AM (two years ago)

just came to see if anyone had posted about this phenomenon before. they're at it again.

NextDoor alert because someone nearby is apparently whistling

i cant help it that im so good at it, i gotta share my gift

my latest favorite thing on nextdoor is the weekly "anyone know why police helicopter is flying overhead?"

― assawoman bay (harbl), Thursday, September 22, 2016 7:00 AM (two years ago)

I love this too! It reminds me that it's been uncharacteristically quiet here this past month -- or else the gentrification has really set in for good? Even better are the people that complain that the police helicopters should be quieter later at night/earlier in AM

Not here Cuomo and de Blasio! what are they thinking? As a Democrat I’m shocked! Put the jails where the people do the most crime! I oppose this as this neighborhood is not representational of the inmates!

"What do you mean then, put 'em IN CAPITOL PARK?"

As a Democrat I’m shocked! Put the jails where the people do the most crime!

Jesus with attitudes like that no wonder people think dems are snobby elitists :/

Woman just literally asked in the neighborhood parents group if anyone else has the cold that's going around. She didn't call it a cold, she referred to it as "the bug with the stuffy nose and fever." In winter.

Anyone else notice the trees don't seem to have a lot of leaves lately?

And what is with these little white pellets on the sidewalk crunching under my shoes?

I've moved to a village. It's all 'who does this escaped cow belong to? we trapped it in X's field' 'Someone's chicken's come down our path'

Sounds pretty great, actually.

people on local facebook comments complaining about how a road that has had bike lanes and pedestrian crossings are ruining an area. highlights include:
- same person saying there was nowhere to park (no parking spots were removed) and that two businesses in the area had closed recently so obviously the road plan is bad for business. this is an area of like, fifteen square blocks with a bunch of businesses, many of them new
- someone saying that they had to slow down and move around someone exiting their car on the traffic side. which seems like a normal thing you do on city streets with parking if you're not a jerk?

peeps be bitching

"why are they changing the road" is the new "hey do you remember what the business at the corner of park & 3rd used to be called"

people losing their shit over "road diets" is amazing to me

I'm a member of two NextDoors and both have had recent episodes of human shit found on porches.

oh for sure

i was looking at comments on an editorial in the local paper and there's some dude from the eastern part of the state who has made it his life's crusade to stop them everywhere. i guess his business is right outside a road diet area and he lost a little business? everything he cites links back to one single WSJ article -- every other editorial echos the exact same comments and references to studies

strong argument there for holding nationally distributed papers to a much higher standard

xp kudos on the porch work, pplains

what is a road diet?

A road diet, also called a lane reduction or road rechannelization, is a technique in transportation planning whereby the number of travel lanes and/or effective width of the road is reduced in order to achieve systemic improvements.

for instance, this worked really well in a neighborhood next to mine where a really wide road that has lots of stores on it got switched from four lanes of travel to two and made formal (as opposed to unmarked) parking and bike lanes on both side

xp to cite a street you might know, like if Solano Ave up in Berkeley used to have two lanes of traffic going each way and then changed it to how it appears now, adding in angled parking and turn lanes and cutting down the speed limit.

it drives people who hate paying attention while driving nuts because it turns areas with high pedestrian and bike traffic with traffic that ignores them into areas where drivers are forced to give those people space

xp - ohhh they did this with Telegraph Ave in Oakland right near me about a year ago -- between the diet, the buses, and the weird parklets -- it really discourages driving down that stretch of street

lol at Solano ave tho -- that's yuppie hell and way out of the way for me -- might as well drive to SF

I'm pretty sure that ppl on my nextdoor have complained about this telegraph ave road diet tho, however, it is eclipsed by the bigger issue of package theft. I swear, if someone were to run for city council in our district on a platform that prioritizes combating package theft with some innovative technological solution, they would win by a landslide.

package and bike thieves are the local scourge. every time someone loses a bike, someone replies that they should check the homeless encampments. Or when they see someone they ID as "a transient" with a bike, sometimes they take a photo of them and say "anyone missing a bike that looks like this?"

still tho, it really demonstrates the repercussions of amazon's dominance -- delivery companies are super lax now in terms of requiring signatures before delivery -- fedex saw no problem whatsoever in leaving packages on the doorstep to my apartment building, which is akin to putting them on the curb with a big sign that says "FREE!" ... maybe the prospective city council candidate could also file a class action lawsuit against FedEx on behalf of everyone in Oakland, pretty much

i mean, if the economic conditions of my life were such that stealing packages was a solid career move, I would totally target this neighborhood.

Amazon also just makes so much money that they'll take the losses on stolen packages and just send you a replacement with no question asked, so people feel secure in that regard as well. Which also cuts out local stores to an extent, people don't worry about not being home because it doesn't matter, they know a replacement would get sent regardless.

oh, I'm talking about FedEx -- delivering for companies that aren't just Amazon -- in that they are delivering so many Amazon packages, they need to be more efficient. Amazon would not refund me the cost of the makita drill batteries that got stolen, which I ordered from Amazon because Home Depot (and the other hardware stores) don't carry batteries for my 25 year old drill ...

imo Amazon capitalized on both sides of the equation by buying the Ring doorbell company

want some packages? we'll send you some. someone stealing your packages? buy our fancy motion sensor doorbell and find out who

brilliant!