Simpsons quotations

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Is there any real life situation they can't respond to?

Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 22:26 (nineteen years ago) link

does whisky count as beer?

blueski, Wednesday, 9 October 2002 22:34 (nineteen years ago) link

don't we have one of these threads already?

maura (maura), Thursday, 10 October 2002 01:50 (nineteen years ago) link

It's like one of those clip-shows

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 10 October 2002 02:36 (nineteen years ago) link

maura do you like fun?

Josh (Josh), Thursday, 10 October 2002 02:47 (nineteen years ago) link

why am i experiencing deja vu

maura (maura), Thursday, 10 October 2002 02:51 (nineteen years ago) link

is it deja vu of something fun?

Josh (Josh), Thursday, 10 October 2002 03:10 (nineteen years ago) link

this is the worst pain ever!!

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 10 October 2002 03:35 (nineteen years ago) link

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"
Ralf Wiggum, bless 'im

Android (Android Elvis), Tuesday, 15 October 2002 22:24 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...
"I saw you trying to cram one more salty treat into America's already bloated mouth-hole, and I did what I could. I did what any loving husband would have done. I reached out to some violent mobsters."

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:54 (eighteen years ago) link

"If only God were still alive to see this."

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:00 (eighteen years ago) link

~ i've learnt that life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish flanders was dead ~

dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:10 (eighteen years ago) link

(Abe Simpson as the love-o-meter in Moe's)

"i invented kissing. it was during world war one when they were trying to figure out new ways to spread germs."

me!, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:27 (eighteen years ago) link

"Or, to put it another way, he DOES exist"

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:43 (eighteen years ago) link

"But Maura, Knightboat! The crime-solving boat!"

Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 21:20 (eighteen years ago) link

"Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun!"

Sengai, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 21:26 (eighteen years ago) link

"man has always loved his buildings, but what happens when the buildings say 'no more!'"

stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 21:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Wiggum, throwing a Johnny Depp chocolate statue on the fire:
"You made us melt, and now we're gonna do the same to YOU!"

Saw that last night, it cracked me up.

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

"A crazy guy shot a bunch of people, and then the subway ran over my hat..."

Ally C (Ally C), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 22:38 (eighteen years ago) link

"Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn."

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

"Jesus must be rolling over in his grave!"

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 22:42 (eighteen years ago) link

"Although we can't reach the boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen so that future generations can rescue him!"

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 22:43 (eighteen years ago) link

"Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn."

Not said by Moe, I betcha

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 23:02 (eighteen years ago) link

From the same episode Justyn just quoted:

"It's an old fashioned hole-diggin'. By gum it's been a while."

Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 23:36 (eighteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...
Homer: "Yvan Eht Nioj! You've gotta love that crazy chorus!"
Lisa: "What does it mean?"
Homer: "Eh, it doesn't mean anything. Like 'rama lama ding dong' or 'give peace a chance'."

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 6 November 2003 22:04 (eighteen years ago) link

three months pass...
"I love my wife very much. The only thing I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort."

oops (Oops), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:23 (eighteen years ago) link

Willie (singing) "I'm gonnae puke in some hay!"
From one of the new eps, I wish I could remember the rest of his drunken tractor-driving song, it was hilarious.

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:36 (eighteen years ago) link

My favorite Willie quote: "Grease me up, woman!"

latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:41 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah that new one with the singing is my fave newie in aaaaaages

(xp)

the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:41 (eighteen years ago) link

"Nibbles, chew through my ball sack!"
- Principal Skinner, totally out of context. Honestly.

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:45 (eighteen years ago) link

God we're behind though - "The President Wore Pearls" showed in the US in Nov last year! We only got it this week! And theyre showing this season all out of order, as per usual grr.

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 20 February 2004 00:48 (eighteen years ago) link

"oh my god!
an illegal counterfeit jeans smuggling operation running out of my own car hole"

robin (robin), Friday, 20 February 2004 01:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Maude Flanders: "This isn't about love, it's about s-e-x in front of the c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n"
Krusty: "Sex Cauldren?! I thought they shut that place down!"

BrianB (BrianB), Friday, 20 February 2004 04:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Bart: "You killed the zombie flanders!"
Homer: "He was a zombie?"

latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 20 February 2004 05:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Otto: I don't need drugs to enjoy this, just to enhance it.

Aja (aja), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:29 (eighteen years ago) link

"i don't even know anymore"

Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Bart: Otto man? You're living in a dumpster?

Otto: Oh,I wish. Dumpster brand trash bins are top of the line. This is just a Trash Co. waste disposal unit.

Aja (aja), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:41 (eighteen years ago) link

And theyre showing this season all out of order, as per usual grr.

Oh yeah, that famous Simpsons continuity. ;p

Leee Majors (Leee), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done!

Homer: You say that so much it's lost all meaning.

Aja (aja), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Aja: What?
Homer: You say that so much it's lost all meaning.

I jibe because I love. =)

Leee Majors (Leee), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Haha!

That is funny.

What if it was

Aja: I want to meet Dave Grohl.

Homer: You say that every day! Why don't you just give up and forget about it. You'll never meet him. And don't even try because trying is the first step to failure.

Aja (aja), Friday, 20 February 2004 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Frinky: "Brace yourselves, gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is... Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing?"

stevem (blueski), Friday, 20 February 2004 22:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Maybe I should have spelled this out way back when, but this thread where we were supposed to converse solely in Simpsonian dialogue and then marry our attractive cousins.

Leee Majors (Leee), Friday, 20 February 2004 22:58 (eighteen years ago) link

Frank "Grimey" Grimes: "wow, this is a palace. i live in a studio above a bowling alley and below another bowling alley."

metfigga (metfigga), Friday, 20 February 2004 23:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Homer: Frank Grimes wasn't married. How could he have a son?!

Jr (Frank Grimes' son): He happened to like hookers, ok?

Aja (aja), Friday, 20 February 2004 23:17 (eighteen years ago) link

ten months pass...
I'm coo-coo for contraband!

Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Lisa: I think we're gonna die, Bart.
Bart: We're all gonna die, Lisa.
Lisa: I meant soon.
Bart (forlorn): So did I.

ryan (ryan), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Marge: You have the right to remain silent!
Homer: I choose to waive that right. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! BLARRGHAARGHH AARGHHR.

Trayce (trayce), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:49 (seventeen years ago) link

"It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times!"

ryan (ryan), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:50 (seventeen years ago) link

"I've been to vietnam, afghanistan, and iraq. And I can truthfully say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse then all of them put together."

ryan (ryan), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Hommer: bart! go to your room!

bart: eat my shorts!

cool music buff (missingNO), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 14:18 (eight years ago) link

ned flanders: hidely-ho, neighborino!

homer: shut up, flanders

bryan danielson (missingNO), Thursday, 25 September 2014 17:38 (eight years ago) link

(Skinner, in Bart's daydream:) "Class, instead of going to the box factory, we'll be going to the.....box factory"

Maggie killed Quagmire (collest baby ever) (frogbs), Thursday, 25 September 2014 17:56 (eight years ago) link

In the spirit of why Leee started this thread, last night my bf was telling me how he'd said to another (cranky junkie just-got-dumped) friend of ours that his relaysh with me was going really well, and that the guys face fell, like he was really bummed/jealous.

All I could think to say was "so basically, you told him you sleep in a big bed with your wife?".

Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Friday, 26 September 2014 04:23 (eight years ago) link

were they the big man at the crack factory

a cheese has occurred (electricsound), Friday, 26 September 2014 04:44 (eight years ago) link

OMG lol

Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Friday, 26 September 2014 05:43 (eight years ago) link

homer: mmm, donuts

bryan danielson (missingNO), Friday, 26 September 2014 07:09 (eight years ago) link

bart: don't have a cow man

fuhgeddaboudit! (missingNO), Wednesday, 8 October 2014 10:57 (seven years ago) link

four weeks pass...

nelson: ha ha!

fuhgeddaboudit! (missingNO), Thursday, 6 November 2014 12:19 (seven years ago) link

everytime i've started a new job or moved to a new office and i find the new bathroom i'll regularly be using i say "ahhh my new watering hole"

marcos, Thursday, 6 November 2014 15:19 (seven years ago) link

that's not what a watering hole is

Number None, Thursday, 6 November 2014 16:17 (seven years ago) link

some watering holes smell like bathrooms tbf

$0.00 Butter sauce only. No marinara. (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 6 November 2014 16:46 (seven years ago) link

"Daddy, this place smells like tinkle!"

"Yes, yes it does."

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BaTNV5pCMAES2VO.jpg

Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Thursday, 6 November 2014 16:49 (seven years ago) link

xp yea number none I know what a watering hole is

marcos, Thursday, 6 November 2014 21:50 (seven years ago) link

I mean i took the phrase from a scene where homer is in a fuckin bar and not a bathrom

marcos, Thursday, 6 November 2014 21:51 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

Well it says here we're Ratt

paolo, Saturday, 10 January 2015 20:39 (seven years ago) link

Now whar's me toothpick?

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Saturday, 10 January 2015 22:20 (seven years ago) link

bf has taken to putting beercaps on my head and calling me queen of the harpies, recently.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Sunday, 11 January 2015 05:38 (seven years ago) link

three months pass...

Where's my spy camera?

paolo, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 17:28 (seven years ago) link

that ep is def. top ten all time. easily best of the season

Mr. Snrub, Wednesday, 6 May 2015 17:33 (seven years ago) link

three months pass...

A co-worker of mine was talking to his mother on the phone just now, and mentioned his wife and kids going to the county fair with some friends and said, "They're Albanians," and before I could stop myself I interjected, "You mean all white with pink eyes?"

I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Thursday, 13 August 2015 19:52 (seven years ago) link

I hope he got the reference.

a poetic ODE to FORNICATION (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 13 August 2015 20:01 (seven years ago) link

He did!

I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Thursday, 13 August 2015 20:03 (seven years ago) link

stuck in my head since I came across it again last weekend.

"If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio your karate outfit, and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV." "What's on?" "It doesn't matter."

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 13 August 2015 20:20 (seven years ago) link

and:

"I was a fool to help that horrible old man!" "I hope you learned your lesson Lisa. Never help anyone."

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 13 August 2015 20:29 (seven years ago) link

Someone at work was asking of a training aid designed by one of our other sites "What's inside the electrical cabinet?"

I couldn't help saying "a family of possums. The big one is called Bitey."

ONE OTHER PERSON got it.

suffeeciant attreebution (aldo), Friday, 14 August 2015 19:15 (seven years ago) link

Mission accomplished, man. Also get a job at a better company.

a poetic ODE to FORNICATION (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 14 August 2015 23:19 (seven years ago) link

Has the show got better again? I remember several people saying it had gone seriously downhill a bit over a decade ago so I haven't really sat through new ones since. Noticed the drop in quality and move toward formula at the time. It involved things including the treatment of the characterisation of Homer where he just became mindlessly stupid.
It also moved away from the visual quotations of films which I liked from earlier seasons.
I noticed it went from sidesplittingly funny to just about humourous and largely formulaic.
So has it got good again?

Stevolende, Saturday, 15 August 2015 06:56 (seven years ago) link

Not that I've noticed. The recent flurry of posts here is for old episodes.

nickn, Saturday, 15 August 2015 07:00 (seven years ago) link

yup - if I ever see anything that I think is new I switch off.

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 15 August 2015 07:31 (seven years ago) link

four months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7trn91xkJ0w

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 04:03 (six years ago) link

"What was her problem?"

albvivertine, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 06:37 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

https://frinkiac.com/?p=search&q=ever+been+to+a+dentist

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, 3 February 2016 19:26 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

"Malibu Stacy: America's favorite eight-and-a-half incher..."

a spate of non-fatal hammer attacks (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 23 April 2016 10:07 (six years ago) link

eight months pass...

I can never resist saying, after completing almost any domestic task from washing the dishes to making the bed, "And that's the end of that chapter"

Wimmels, Saturday, 7 January 2017 17:08 (five years ago) link

one year passes...

Skinner: "excuse me is there an orange Julius stand on this floor?"

Lionel Hutz: "I'll sell you this one, its almost full!"

Skinner: "well why don't I drink out of a toilet bowl?" *walks away*

Lionel Hutz: "he'll be back"

well bissogled trotters (Michael B), Saturday, 17 March 2018 12:14 (four years ago) link

six months pass...
one year passes...

[Aging congressman has heart attack]

Marge: Quick! Somebody perform CPR!

Homer: [Thinks for a moment, starts singing] I see a bad moon rising

Dunty Reggae party 🎉 (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 1 March 2020 13:39 (two years ago) link

Are you mad, Frink! Put down that science pole!

Hideous Lump, Sunday, 1 March 2020 14:43 (two years ago) link

Speaking of Frink: "Ivan Reitman!"

Hideous Lump, Sunday, 1 March 2020 14:44 (two years ago) link

Not sure what prompted the below exchange to pop into my head this morning but it made me happy:

Grimey: But it's a contest for children!
Lenny: Yeah! And Homer beat their brains out!

cwkiii, Sunday, 1 March 2020 23:16 (two years ago) link

It's not the mayor's fault that the stadium collapsed

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 1 March 2020 23:25 (two years ago) link

But what about daddy daughter day?

paolo, Monday, 2 March 2020 20:02 (two years ago) link

five months pass...

You've got a date with the Xerox machine

paolo, Wednesday, 5 August 2020 17:43 (two years ago) link

one year passes...

It's a regional dialect

paolo, Wednesday, 30 March 2022 07:33 (five months ago) link

five months pass...

Let's see if they wore underwear back then

paolo, Monday, 19 September 2022 08:15 (one week ago) link

I am sad to report that I have reached the age where classic-era Simpsons is way more fun to quote than to watch

That said...

no one who speaks German could be an evil man!

Paul Ponzi, Monday, 19 September 2022 23:52 (one week ago) link


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