Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

hardly notice after taking all the drugs on the table

cutting lines with a machete is no picnic

especially with govt sponsored backache

Wow, Harriet really HAS some ANGER. Other genius articles by her include:

Why does the NHS hate the elderly so much?

Why HAS the state got it in for foster parents?

I've seen how our education system betrays children - it's enough to make you weep

and...er...

Ladies, thank heaven for younger men

freudian typo in this mail piece about paedos: "As a father, I know it's important not to oversex-state the danger our girls are in."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1215189/How-safe-daughter-Paedophiles-using-web-trap-girls-middle-class-married-And-police-struggling-cope-.html

Many will have been raped and, in a few tragic cases, the victim may even have been killed. That's the reality of modern paedophilia.

Not like paedophilia in the good old days eh?

I was going to start quoting from the comments but I wouldn't know where to start/stop.

oh fuck's sake

Overtly gay Tory blogger Iain Dale has reached the final stage of parliamentary selection for Bracknell, telling PinkNews: 'I hope any PinkNews readers who live in Bracknell will come to the open primary on October 17 to select their new candidate.

You don't even have to be a Conservative to attend.'

Isn't it charming how homosexuals rally like-minded chaps to their cause?

Isn't it charming how Tories rally like-minded chaps to their cause?

Isn't it charming how the anti-nazi league / the BNP / the Womens Institute / Geir rally like-minded chaps to their cause?

Isn't it charming how ILXors rally like-minded challops to their cause?

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/10/04/article-0-06A4D656000005DC-508_468x581.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1218166/LIZ-JONES-FASHION-THERAPY-Does-trend-Birds-nest-hair-work-real-woman.html

gyaaaaaaa-

i definitely saw her in goodfellas

I definitely saw her in Birds of a Feather.

I definitely saw her in fuck-me shoes.

i think i saw her in tescos

Now she's a big success I want to meet her again.

Never mind the Faily Mail, I think I just saw her in the mirror...

Saw this ...How Kevin McGee's drug addiction and jealousy destroyed marriage to Matt Lucas and cost him his life...and dreaded reading the comments and sure there were loads of nasty crap but the well done DM trollers for getting the DM to change "husband" to ex-husband (i.e. without the scare quotes) and for well and truly trouncing the crazies in the Best Rated stakes.

Wait - they haven't changed it later on. Well, tiny steps.

It shows one good thing, throwing money at a problem is not always good policy. The shame is Loony-Labour thinks that's all it takes.

- mike, London, 7/10/2009 15:00

lol crowbar is hueg

?!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218880/One-gay-man-lesbians-legged-cat-poisoned-curry-plot.html?ITO=1490

The headline was great, you couldn't make this up, LOL!!!!

All the "outraged" namby-pambies complaining about it ought to take some valium and return to their daytime TV programs.

- John, London, EUSSR, 08/10/2009 10:28

One-gay-man-lesbians-legged-cat-poisoned-curry-plot.html?

A gay man turns a cat's legs into lesbians using poisoned curry?

i read an article a while back in the mail by some female columnist about how women dont really have sex for enjoyment but for other reasons which i quite enjoyed.

her SO must have been delighted with that.

for other reasons which i quite enjoyed.

What were those reasons you enjoyed?

itchy fanjita

just the idea that my overwhelming wealth and inability to do chores is obv a surefire way to get laid.

http://www.somersetcountygazette.co.uk/news/4673716.Under_fire_columnist_inspires_carnival_entrants/

zing

“I had thought that if I employed enough local people, got enough local students jobs and internships, spent £350 on a cashmere blanket in a Dulverton gift shop for my sister’s Christmas present, bought all my beauty products and candles in there too, that people would like me and accept me.”

http://current.com/1uk1i4c

You have to stick with that video for the bonkers paintings of Paul Dacre.

Liz Jones is responsible for many of the MMR scare stories in the Mail in recent years, so the more often she is pursued by shotgun wielding locals across Exmoor the better as far as I'm concerned.

'Celebrity journalism is nonsense' – tabloids duped in fake stories hoax

The Daily Mail was the only newspaper that was approached by the filmmakers but did not print any of their fabrications.

Some of Fleet Street's top newsrooms ‑ including those of the Sun, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and Daily Express

Story falls down about here

Their next project is about bears. In woods.

Some of Fleet Street's top newsrooms ‑ including and also those of the Sun, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and Daily Express

fixed

(xpost) I bet those bears are illigal migrants...

xps
Somerset folk pissed off with portrayal as backward yokels fire shotgun at letterbox in revenge.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1220756/Why-natural-Stephen-Gatelys-death.html

what the hell is going on in the comments?!

The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

:D

Maybe everyone's trolling constantly these days, which is why the BBC ends up clogged with righties, and the DM ends up with lots of egalitarians.

He dun a cannabis, and his partner went into another room with another man = he is a hedonistic gay man asking to die..

Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one reader comment:

What tv bigwigs fail to understand is that Countdown stood for a GB that is fast disappearing. 27 years ago, viewers were folk who still had memories of street parties and Silver Jubilees, yet to go through 2 recessions and thought that 4 channels was choice enough. The slightly guilty pleasure of an afternoon was cosy and comforting, it meant fireside, a good cup of tea and a few digestives. The need to replace original host Richard Whitely, was obvious, understood in the nation's collective psyche. But as a nation of traditionalists, woe betide the tv execs who try to mess with the format beyond that! Vorderman was the last connection viewers had with a programme that existed meritoriously as nation's brain workout, rather than a ubiquitous "big money" game show. Fans of this programme never asked for Countdown to be 'sexed up' or modernised. And while moving with the times can be seen as admirable, sometimes hanging onto the old values is the conundrum they should be working out.

- J Bee, NW England, 16/10/2009 4:16

Nice job tying it in with the death of Matt Lucas' partner too - doubling up the offensiveness. That's good even by Shakey standards.