HEY JEWS

quincie why aren't you Jewish

tryin to find a shul in this town where you don't need season tickets

apples + honey = A+

my jewish friend called me up and said: "did you understand my textmessage?" i replied i did. "I wish you a happy new year too! Isn't it fantastic that a goy knows it's new year?"
she replied I was turning Jewish. "But of course, I sell JEWELLERY!"

After more than two years of living in this neighborhood, my neighbors have finally discovered I might make a good Shabbos goyim. A neighbor knocked on my door at 9am today, asking if I could help her out, as she had forgotten to unscrew a lightbulb in a freezer, and needed to get in there.

Shana Tova after the fact. Mmmmm leftover brisket and chicken soup

Haha Pancakes that's happened to my ex a couple of times - he was strolling by the rabinnical college across the street one evening after dark and a guy came out and asked him to turn his bedroom light off o_0

kinky

wanna flick my switch?

have i told you guys that my girlfriends all tell me i would make a very good jew? i'm very proud of it

quincie why aren't you Jewish

Well, I am in Jew School so it may happen some day, or not. Would be hard to be the only Jew in the entire family. One of my books for class is a "How to Keep Kosher" book; Mr. Que saw it and was like "UH PLEASE TELL ME WE ARE NOT GOING TO BE KEEPING KOSHER" 'cause y'know we're both pretty into bacon and lobster and cheeseburgers.

Anyway kugel is like soooooooo good; I ate a ton yesterday. Also threw some crumbs into the creek because I am emo like that.

Also: singing "A Wonderful World" at RH day 1 services classic or mega dud?

Crut - its lucky that wasnt also the time N had his fly down on his pants, lol.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to ILX for my wrongs. Please forgive me. You have three chances.

Like I'm sorry I was mean to surmounter that one time. And to gabbneb many times. Oh geez please tell me I don't have to track down gabbneb to apologize to him in person?

Anyone else I was mean to on ILX? Speak now or, er, in the next nine days pls.

it's all good quincie. let's keep it in the past. it sucked but it's LONG GONE

Thanks surm! You are a peach and a true asset to ILX. Much <3 to you sorry I was hatin'.

waht is Jew School?!

and come you want to be jewish? (serious question)

favorite fictional jew will always be sid dithers

"San Franciscy? So how did you came, did you drove or did you flew?"

am i the only one who is thinking about Hey Jude while reading this thread?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hey,_Slavs

i don't think that's very funny zeno

Hey Juden

Pancakes, goyim is plural, you would be a Shabbos goy.

Elvis was a Shabbos goy!

One of my teachers told me Colin Powell was also a Shabbos goy!

Not sure I will take the plunge (those familiar with the mikveh will get the pun) and become an actual Jew, but in the meantime I am attending a two-semester conversion course co-sponsored by three Conservative congregations in the area.

Believe me, if you'd have told me I'd be doing this even like five years ago, I'd have told you you were nuts given that I considered myself an atheist! But having stumbled into to Judaic studies I've found a lot that resonates. We'll see how it goes. At the very least I am filling in a gaping hole in my education--I have never taken so much as a comparative religion course in college. And nothing from my Episcopal upbringing stuck.

I went to see Inglorious Basterds on Sat night

What is a 'shabbos goy' exactly? It sounds quite cool. Is it demanding?

During Shabbot, many/most traditional (i.e. Orthodox) Jews observe prohibitions against things like turning lights off and on, mowing the lawn, etc.; some hire (ahead of time, as conducting business/using money is also prohibited during Shabbot) other people (i.e. non-Jews) to do these things for them on that day. I don't know if this is commonly practiced any more?

It is! My dad's wife had a job as the accounts manager for a bagel factory run by Orthodox Israelis in St Paul and found herself shabbos goying for them whenever they needed help on dark Friday afternoons etc.

I've been a shabbos goy on two occasions! Turning stove burners off/down/up once, fixing a fridge light the other time.

it sounds like an unanswerable argument for diaspora living

Any of you Jews fasting today?

Why would a Jew do that? Next Monday, yes (Yom Kippur). But if there is a day-after-second-day-of-Rosh-Hashana fast, I have yet to learn about it.

I thought you were supposed to fast between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (fwiw, I am not. I even ate crab last night oooh)

apparently it is a fast day, although i can't imagine non-orthodox jews observe it:

Tishrei 3rd is a fast day mourning the assassination of the Jewish royal Gedaliah ben Achikam, governor of the Land of Israel for a short period following the destruction of the First Temple. Gedaliah's killing spelled the end of the small remnant of a Jewish community that remained in the Holy Land after the destruction, which fled to Egypt. (According to many opinions, the assassination of Gedaliah actually occurred on Rosh Hashanah, but the commemoration of the event is postponed to the day after the festival).

OH yeah now I do remember reading something about that! Yeah I don't know anyone who fasts for that.

Yom Kippur fasting tips would be appreciated, though.

Tip #1: Don't accidentally eat anything.

are "energy gels" considered food?

well given that water is a no-no, I'm gonna go with energy gel=food.

Eat kreplach before the fast starts.

what would be a nice thing to say to a Jew today?

shana tova

or anything except "hey jew"

"what would be a nice thing to say to a Jew today?

― holosystolic murmur and the thrill (gbx), 19:04 יום שני 21 ספטמבר 2009 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
shana tova"

also: gmar hatima tova

also: you have a nice tuchas

^^^always good to hear

HEY! (HEY!)
JEWS! (JEWS!)
I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND

So at the reform Rosh Hashanah service I went to they blew the shofar (actually they had 4 people blowing them) even though it was Shabbat/the Sabbath (they do not blow the shofar on Shabbat in Conservative and Orthodox synagogues), and the Rabbi had his sermon on his Mac (not handwritten notes). Wow.