The most interesting pieces of soccerball trivia you know (that are 100% false)

95. Mido has a penchant for riding a Lambretta scooter and listening to the music of The Animals, The Small Faces and The Who - his monicker came about as he thought it was the most euphonic acronym of "I, Mod".

96. Nicky Butt prefers to call himself Nicholas and doesn't understand why people snigger at his full name.

97. Dave Kitson's unlikely career as a football hero was almost scuppered by his father Mike Batt's insistence that he follow him into the music industry. A youthful Kitson reluctantly contributed the lyrics to the Mansun songs "Railings" and "Everyone Must Win", the latter a bruising plea to his father to let him pursue his own dreams, before Batt relented.

98. Ray Stubbs is widely rumoured to have been the man who first alerted Christian Voice to the existence of Jerry Springer: The Opera.

99. Garth Crooks has some talent

100. Ray Parlour Jr. who you gonna call?

101. Michael Dawson is a failed basketball player. Whenever he is reponsible for a Tottenham defeat he can be found in his bedroom, loudly sobbing apologies to an enormous picture of Patrick Ewing.

102. Andy Cole's rap single "Outstanding" was a number one hit in Latvia.

103. Thanks to US ringtone sensation Soulja Boy, the hot new slang amongst American teens is "Paul Jewell that ho", an act involving taking a girl out to a pleasant meal at Pizza Express.

104. Ron Atkinson became the first person to make a Mansun reference on British television in 1998, commenting that Wimbledon winger Neal Ardley "needs a wide open space - he's freezing in that right-back position". Clive Tyldesley's response: "It'll be Joe Kinnear's Taxloss if he doesn't sort that out..."

105. Highland League club Forres Mechanics were the target of a recent failed buyout by an American consortium led by Chuck Eddy and Frank Kogan

106.

107. This:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51PD02Q5YFL._SS500_.jpg

was originally going to be endorsed by Eamon Dunphy, until he was introduced to the joys of Kakuro, a game he now regards as infinitely superior.

108. The Mr Men character Mr Rush was based in every way on Ian Rush. When the Liverpool striker signed for Juventus, the minor British cartoon character-shaped void in the Liverpool dressing room was swiftly filled by Gary Gillespie, whose looks and personality formed the basis for Morph's plasticine pal Gillespie

109. Eamonn Dunphy's famous claim that he wouldn't let Steve Staunton "drive the train to Cork" was a sly dig at the Ireland coach for not returning Dunphy's copy of Microsoft Train Simulator. Dunphy's favourite MTS route is the Hitatsu Line.

110. AC Milan striker Pato takes his name from his favourite ILX poster, King Boy Pato, and actually celebrates every goal in tribute to the former Esteban Buttez by either saying "mah niggah", mentioning some early 80s Manchester bands, or being ignored.

111. Fabio Capello ed il suo delegato Grooverider hanno imparato parlare inglese fluente sopra l'ultimo mese

112. Due to a spelling error, the captain of England's first team under Fabio Capello with be Zesh Rehman.

113. Fabio Capello was disgusted to discover during his first training session with England that Chris Kirkland was the only member of the squad capable of doing press-ups properly, leading him to exclaim "Look at those cunts. The fuck are they doing on their knees?". In order to avoid offence, his translator told the press that Capello had in fact been taken aback by the size of Micah Richards' shoulders.

94. Ruud Gullit inserted his erect penis into a football live during coverage of World Cup '98 with slightly embarrassing results.

114. This incident was recreated by Ian Wright as part of a never-screened ad for his recent 'bloopers' DVD, 'It Really Shouldn't Happen To A Footballer'

115. Southampton's St Mary's Stadium had originally been planned to be built on a purpose built "soccer rig" five miles off the south coast of the Isle of Wight for tax purposes. The plan was abandoned in favour of signing Lee Todd from Stockport County.

116. In 1975, to attract younger fans who would more likely to be getting their news fix at 5.00 in the afternoon, the board at Fulham decided to change the name of their ground from Bosanquet Cottage to Craven Cottage.

117. Willie 'Prince' Albert is not only the oldest professional footballer currently in the game in England, he is also the only man to have scored in every FA Cup final.

118. The white horse of White Horse Final (1923) wasn't white at all, but green.

119. Paolo Maldini attempted to sue singer Scott Walker in 1997 after becoming convinced that the song "Farmer in the City" was a disguised accusation regarding Maldini and an illegitimate son. Maldini dropped the case when Walker personally assured him that the song - and indeed the entirety of 1995's Tilt - was in fact an elaborate criticism of Matt Le Tissier's refusal to leave Southampton for a bigger club.

120. Former WWF favourite Fred "Tugboat" Ottman is a huge soccerball fan, and can now be found writing about his adopted favourite sport for the Times under the pen name Martin Samuel.

In the early 90s, the nascent J-League had its own version of sport prankster Karl 'Fat Neck' Power in the shape of Merzbow, who can be seen playfully tweaking Gary Lineker's nipple in the 1993-94 Grampus Eight team photo

122. As Chris Waddle lined up a free kick in Spurs' fixture against Oxford United in the 1986-87 season, all but one floodlight in the ground was dimmed - the remaining light focusing on one spectator, who had stood idly by as Waddle's best friend drowned some years back. The shot ended up an easy save for Oxford's keeper, but Chrissy was still satisfied to have made his point

1. Claudia Caniggia doesn't sweat.

123. That wasn't a typo.

124. Banksy is actually Gordon Banks's son.

125. Paul McGrath denies all knowledge of his man-of-the-match performance against Italy at USA '94, angrily insisting to this day that he spent the entire group stages of the tournament drunkenly heckling children at a swimming pool in Roscommon.

126. The Norwegian commentator of "your boys took a hell of a beating tonight" fame had a preprepared list of famous Englishmen written for him by Norway's most enthusiastic young Anglophile, Geir Hongro

127. George Best is the only football player in history who is known by both The Lex and Tuomas.

128. 'Fistful of Love' by Anthony and the Johnsons is the song his local MLS team Red Bull New York run onto the pitch to.

129. In the 1927-28 season, notorious for its particularly harsh and disruptive winter, Plymouth FC were the runaway champions of the First Division. Experts have since credited the team's domination that year to its decision to play in sweaters during the colder months, the pattern of which was incorporated into the team's name following a fan vote on the 50th anniversary of that championship, their last major trophy.

130. Ron Atkinson's original nickname for Cyrille Regis, Laurie Cunningham and Brendon Batson was Peter, Paul & Mary.

131. When the Football League was rebranded in 2004, the original names for what became Leagues One and Two were to have been Joy Division and Scarlet Division. However, at the last minute these names were changed on grounds of taste, after it was pointed out that Scarlet Division was also the name of Jamie Oliver's group.

132. Yordan Letchkov invented the USB Flash Drive.

danny invincibile's autobiography was adapted for the film 'accidental hero' starring dustin hoffman and andy garcia.

^^^^^
133. sorry.

134. David Ginola is (or was, I guess) an anagram for VAGINA DILDO.

135. The Premier League is considering expanding the league season to 39 games so that an additional ten games can be played abroad, with the extra fixture being determined by a draw, seeded so as to avoid the top five having to play each other.

136. Oh shi-

137. While matches may be played earlier, the Major League Soccer season only officially commences with the first game in which Claudio Reyna injures himself and is replaced before halftime.

(127: are you sure it's false Ken?)

138. I am Takayuki Suzuki.

103. Thanks to US ringtone sensation Soulja Boy, the hot new slang amongst American teens is "Paul Jewell that ho", an act involving taking a girl out to a pleasant meal at Pizza Express.

-- Dom Passantino, Tuesday, February 5, 2008 1:36 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

Prophetic!

This doesn't actually mention Pizza Express though.

How DID Dom know about Paul Jewell and that ho? Still wondering.

I... have no idea.

28. The Brazillian version of Deal Or No Deal is hosted by Cafu wearing a sailor's outfit.

-- Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:33 (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

This is really, really funny