Worst TV adverts of the moment

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My poorly made point here was, I suppose, that surly 18 year old "Johnny No Stars" McDs staff (teamwork) and McDs general efforts to cram its grease-n-salt specials into as many mouths as possible (community) are perhaps not most honestly represented by men, women and children happily working together to make a garden.

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Maybe that's their new business model? Pay up, or we send the unutterably awful folk singers round to caterwaul in your living room?

Perhaps Orange's priorities should be:

1) fix the bottleneck problems at the e-mail server farm at smtp.0r4ng3h0m3.c0.uk so that people can, you know, actually send e-mail
2) fix d/l speeds so that someone who lives less than a mile from the exchange can maybe get somewhere near the advertised 8 meg
3) make some wanky TV commercials
4) send a public school trustafarian hipster with an acoustic guitar and a hat three sizes too small to people's houses

...instead of their current priorities which seem to be that list completely reversed...

During all of my 32 years on this earth I hadn't once considered forcing my thumbs into my eye sockets to forcibly blind myself...until now. Not since Oedipus realised he was unlikely to win "Son Of The Year" has there been such a good reason to deny yourself the gift of sight. The rock star advert manages to offend on a number of levels. The song itself is predictably middle of the road and is at best only midly contemporary having been released in the UK in November 2007. However, this lazy approach at stradling popular culture pales into insignificance compared to the visual car crash that is the god awful bunch of performing monkeys who mime and play air guitar during the advert. Each one gives me a different reason to hate them - whether it's the funk-free black guy, the sexless desperate blonde, anoxeric coked-up brunette, fat gran or gay dad, watching each of them makes me convulse with embarrassment. I detest them all.

But more than anything, I hate myself for watching it. Well done DFS, you've hit a new low.

from the dfs wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dfs_%28retailer%29

lol amazing

Richard Hammond talking about meat while staring unblinkingly at the camera in a disturbingly creepy way

I wonder if Jont minds if your phone goes off in the middle of his song.

If your ringtone was by a rival acoustic folkster tossbag, that'd really put him off...

Did anyone catch this last night?

That Linx advert where the guy's eyes go all funny creeps me out - also uncomfortably reminds me of a Jerry Sadowitz routine about blind people, "I hope it's not one of those ple with the boggly eyes that go all over the place"

(xpost) here it is...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvT7GiUUAvA

missed the heart attack one but saw the orangina furries :(

I shouldn't make light of it, as two of my grandparents died from heart disease, but it kind of makes having a heart attack look like the video to "Smack My Bitch Up". Except instead of a stripper, it's... Johnny Ball? Ade Edmondson? No, I got it, Steven Berkoff!

(xpost) Imagine if the adverts were mixed up? "having a heart attack is like furry pr0n" vs "drinking Orangina is like getting beaten up by Steven Berkoff"

imagine him as a furry

crappy TV commercials are not a new thing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV5MnagQenc
I think the guy doing the voiceover on the Corona ad is trying to impersonate Phil Silvers...
This is fucking dreadful as well...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8dKSl3YLm0&feature=related
...become a miner, learn to impress the neighbours with the psychotic Fanny Craddock, or emigrate to Australia

cactus kid crap

otm, "for people who don't like water", like that's a real viable demographic and not just some kind of bullshit pose (apologies to anyone here who "doesn't like water").

the one where the girls make their dad dye his hair, because "he's ready and would be "a good catch". wtf is going on?

the one where the girls make their dad dye his hair, because "he's ready and would be "a good catch". wtf is going on?

-- stevie, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 08:48 (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

That one was an eye opener. I came away with the conclusion that it was actually a very good ad.

Seat (car, not chair) advert with "crazy" employees doing zany stuff, soundtracked by an Avalanches rip-off.

Campaign Magazine's ten worst TV adverts of 2008.

Can't really argue with those, tho I still insist the John Lydon one isn't that bad

Apart from anything else, the Gillette one annoys me because Thierry Henry is not even remotely in the same league as Tiger Woods and Roger Federer

in what sense?

As a sportsman

As an actor, he's better, I'll give him that

well football is a team game so you can't really stand-out as much as in golf or tennis but he's not exactly been unsuccessful.

But he's never been considered the greatest in his sport at any given time, let alone a possible G.O.A.T. like the other two

He's not even the best footballer of his generation, let alone one of the best footballers of al time

Although I dunno if an advert with Henry, Ian Poulter and Mardy Fish would have worldwide appeal.

In South America I seem to remember it being Kaká instead of Henry.

I think he deserves it more than Henry

in fact I'm talking crap it was Kaká with Rafa Marquez and some brazilian now that I think of it. Not the same campaign.

Henry probably as famous as the other two because he plays an almost universally popular sport and thus makes sense from a marketing point of view?

Lydon/Country Life advert is fine

This new apparently global Mr Muscle advert is the worst of the year just for sheer lameness - not a patch on those old ones with the 'hilariously' weedy bespectacled guy

plus a lot of women I know fancy him while none fancy Federer or Tiger.

should've had real athlete Phil Taylor instead of Henry

plus a lot of women I know fancy him while none fancy Federer or Tiger.

I see, this advert is aimed at the niche bearded lady market?

who is a more preferable role model to your nuts reading 18-30 male, goofy looking guy who is good at golf/tennis or footballer who women would like to fuck?

a woman might wanna get a man a razor

that seat advert is all-time FOAD

There's a few adverts now that have some kind of awful drippy neo-avant-folk warbling rubbish on their soundtracks that force me to dive to hit the mute button whenever they come on.

that's not the worst of the gilette adverts (although it is terrible, 'i never think about yesterday'), the worst one is where they are bullying that poor bloke by firing tennis balls at him whilst he's trying to shave.

o_O at that orangina advert though.

all "you have to be INSANE to produce a car like this" then a fucking shitty mundane family hatchback appears at the end, like a bad joke told by idiots

There's that new Renault advert that goes "remember when you said you'd never buy a Renault?", because it a) implies that Renaults were once shite, b) further implies that now they're not shite. Hint: they are more shite than ever, evidenced by the new model Megane which looks like every nondescript family car currently being made.

There's that new Renault advert that goes "remember when you said you'd never buy a Renault?"

I, mentally, say "no" every time I hear that

It's like that other advert about "your house smelling of fish"... but it doesn't

Adverts are crap if they do not 'advertise', right?

Still like the Lydon one.

The Lenny Premierinn one is alright, it's where I end up living when I'm away. Hey, it could have been worse.

The Orangina one is pretty dumb/doesnotwork. The Renault/dubbing one is poor/cheap.

xpost the kids are both "ha, dad, did you ever say that? did yer? ay?" and I go "Anyone fancy walking to school tomorrow, hmm?"

Apart from that, the rest I do not care for or against.

Out of these ten the one which still reeks most of Pass The Hat/Pull The Trigger is the Lenny Henry Premier Inns one. Why oh why oh why &c.