Best snippet of overheard conversation

So, there wasn't a demo either? Sad.

While waiting in front of a girl said to her friend at the Post Office, this morn:

"He's such an ass! Had the nerve to hold up the dildo like a sword."

Was dying to ask her whether he was willing to bend over, natch.

First: "She's always locking everything up, she.."

Second: "Yeah, she's always putting everything in boxes.."

First: "...that lock."

"So you were less surprised at getting hit by a bus than at me getting engaged?!"

Prof.:...and that's when man found out he had idle time to do whatever he pleased.
Student: Oh, yeah! That's where they fry the codfish!

WTF?! Mind you, this little exchange was all in Spanish.

(whilst walking down polk st. in san francisco)
"I dont give a fuck, I'm just tryin' to eat the pussy"

Not really. It was just complete nonsense as far as I'm concerned. Maybe she was into Dada.

"So welcome to the team. We'll have some laughs! But it'll be hard work, too."

later, to be completed by my friend--

"when you stab a starving baby, it doesn't scream, it just dies! Huh? huh?"

As most of you know, I am proud mother to a rather precociouus 6 year old boy. I have never been more proud than when I overheard this just now:

Zoe (the dog): barks, jumps on bed, walks around
S: "Zoe, get off me, you're stepping on my balls!"

Fin.

Middle aged, average looking woman to middle aged husband(Shouting. Loud. From back of bus to front, holding up mobile phone as if by way of explantion and utter deadpan, with no hint of irony at all...)

IAN, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I ASKED YOU WHO'S THE DADDY NOW?

"..you're a bastard, and now you're even making me smell men's piss!"

12 year old Kid on Bus #1: you shit!

12 year old Kid on Bus #2: you wanker!

12 year old Kid on Bus #1: you bastard!

12 year old Kid on Bus #2: you asshole!

12 year old Kid on Bus #1: you paedophile!

Chubby Kid (to friend): Yo...DUCK, son!

The restaurant lull didn't last long enough for me to hear what came next, and I almost made a thread asking ILE to guess, cause I keep making guesses myself.

WTF this woman was in her 20s.

A family at Old Country Buffet, on a separate occasion:
Boy (to teenage girl): Boy, you sure like salt.
Girl: Not as much as your aunt does.
Boy (to woman): Why do you like salt so much?
Woman: I need it for my ears. It keeps the water out of em.

Taller, okder gay guy: Yeah. My mom uses this cleaner that's really good.

Shorter, younger gay guy: Would it work.

Tall: Oh yeah. It's really good. It has a nice smell too.

Short: What is it?!! Really?

Tall: I'm not sure?

Short: Where does she get it?

Tall: I think at work.

Short: Wouldn't it be great if we could use it?

"Hi this is CB from [magazine]. We're trying to build a unicycle and we wondered if you had any spanners?"

incredibly high scratchy scouse accents.

voice1:Look at these olives.
voice2:Olives!
voice1:Dese ones are stuffed with pimento!
voice2:Woz pimento?
voice1:Don't fuckin' know.

"It's not swearing if you say ship. Ship! Ship! See, it's alright. I said Ship! SHIP!"

"It's like everybody has a computer now."
"I know. It's crazy."

And then...
A: Why do they call it a sweet tooth? If you had a tooth that was actually sweet, you probably wouldn't want to eat candy. It'd just be too much.
(silence from B)

And, finally, sparked by the [usually painfully simple] Who Am I trivia game that plays every few minutes on the bus televisions:
A: JFK.
B: Um, that's Jesse Jackson.
A: Oh. (pause) Haha, you know presidential faces. You're a loser.

Actually I remember being the same age as those guys and making the same argument about Sylvia Plath.

citykid 1: [...]crackheads in my building, not even living there, just like on the stairs.
citykid 2: where did you live?
citykid 1: franklin & park. i used to pour water on them, to wake them up, like in the middle of winter. and they'd run around outside. cracksicles!
citykid 2: cracksicles! dude you probably killed somebody.
citykid 1: whatever. it's not like they really had a life.

(this is what i wrote down at the time, wish i could remember more of it)

"no, i just make love 'cause i feel a connection, a connection that's cute, and so i make love. you know?
...
can we just go back to being lovers without all the hocus pocus?
...
no, i just didn't know what you were talking about. that must be an issue of yours from a previous relationship.
...
i have to tell you, when i first met you, i broke one of your wine glasses, and then i hid it. open communication, boy, that's hard! whew. forgive me father, for i have sinned. will you spank me now?"

This is just beautiful.

One time - girl on phone "Oh good news! You're not a daddy! Six days late"

then later in the same conversation:

"Ben and Laura! On MY sofa! It was disgusting! They didn't quite reach 4th base but they certainly reached 3rd!"

Then on a different occasion, some kids were describing a party at their school.

"Mrs Johnson caught me on my knees with Darren"

"What were you doing?"

"What do you mean, what I was I doing? I was ON MY KNEES"

wonder if other ppl who've used this bus a lot in the past (e.g. Liz D, Carsmile) have also overheard stuff of a similar nature?