this is the horny commiseration thread

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"Sex behavior was, for all practical purposes, destroyed; sexual posturing was commonly stereotyped and infantile. Frequently when an isolate [surrogate-raised] female was approached by a normal male, she would sit unmoved, squatting upon the floor -- a posture in which only her heart was in the right place. Contrariwise, an isolate male might approach an in-estrus female, but he might clasp the head instead of the hind legs, and then engage in pelvic thrusts. Other isolate males grasped the female's body laterally, whereby all sexual efforts left them working at cross purposes with reality."

joseph pot (STINKOR™), Sunday, 21 August 2005 00:25 (nineteen years ago) link

hornee still

even still ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Sunday, 21 August 2005 02:05 (nineteen years ago) link

me too, sweetpants

luna (luna.c), Sunday, 21 August 2005 04:22 (nineteen years ago) link

oh.

jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 21 August 2005 06:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Honk the horn.

Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 August 2005 00:26 (nineteen years ago) link

toot toot.

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 22 August 2005 06:31 (nineteen years ago) link

No kiddin.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 August 2005 07:10 (nineteen years ago) link

That's what wanks are for.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 07:11 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm trying to remember if I used to randomly shoehorn comments about sex into conversations/threads when I *was* actually getting laid.

But then again, I suspect I did, so it's not just a function of the horn. I hope.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 10:42 (nineteen years ago) link

(That said, last night I was sitting around after the gig and three different people at the table (including myself) were complaining about their lack of sex, and about how all our blogs had just become monologues whinging about not getting any sex. See, this is the problem, that when you start blogging, you automatically become emo. Because in the old days, when I did Have Sex, I probably would have just suggested that we go off and have a threesome or something and kill three birds with one stone. But no, I just wrote about it on the interweb instead.)

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 10:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Oops, I did it again.

Is there anything or any topic that I cannot figure out how to make into some kind of horn-inducing situation?

(Please do not feel the need to test that theory.)

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 11:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Well, it's okay for this thread.

I had a sex dream about a friend of mine who's nine years my senior. It was scandalous.

Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 August 2005 12:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Argh Kate I may only have met you a couple of times and no doubt I... erm, rubbed you up the wrong way, but... I cannot believe you've got trouble finding someone, how you say, hott enough to play with. Maybe you're not looking for playmates in the right places at the moment?

Playing is easy... or perhaps that should be, soft. Love is hard... or perhaps that should be, hell.

Ah, Kitchens Of Distinction *sigh*

angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 13:51 (nineteen years ago) link

You didn't rub me up the wrong way - I was just tired and cranky and not really in the mood for being out in public the first time we met. Don't worry about it - I actually wanted to apologise for being so bad-tempered. (Emsk is used to it so no longer takes it personally.)

I think the problem is that I don't really know *what* I want. Being an Old Lady, I think I should want to Be In A Proper Relationship and I just can't be hassled with the whole casual thing. But on the other hand, I'm too burned out to be in a relationship and even the idea just gives me a vague feeling of dis-ease in the pit of my stomach like I'm going to do a sick.

But on the other hand... boys with pointy noses and bushy sideburns. Sigh.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 13:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Actually, you know what? Sometimes I'm not even sure if I want sex at all. I just want to whinge about not getting sex.

(9 times out of 10 wanking is actually more satisfying physically than casual sex anyway. It's just when you want to be, you know, naked and holding someone.)

Anyway, I will shut up now because I'm boring myself.

Captain Anderson, la la la la la la laaaa.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 13:59 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes. Never mind the orgasms; not being able to kiss and cuddle in bed is the worst part of being single.

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:01 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm trying to figure out whether or not I have a crush on a friend that a mutual friend keeps trying to convince me I should hook up with.

I'm not sure if I do have a crush, and I'm trying to talk myself out of it, or if I don't have a crush and I'm trying to talk myself into it. If I'm feeling that ambivalent about the whole thing, it's probably not a good idea anyway.

(Of course, knowing him and knowing me, we'd never get around to actually having sex, and just sit around all night talking about theoretical physics and playing with each others' effects pedals.)

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Shoot me.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:05 (nineteen years ago) link

"effects pedals" would actually be a rather good euphemism for genitalia. They make you make funny noises, after all.

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:06 (nineteen years ago) link

I knew you would say that.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:07 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm nothing if not predictable

(I could even have logged out and you'd still have known I was going to say it)

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:08 (nineteen years ago) link

I was just tired and cranky

OK. You have no idea what my fevered brain made of it at the time... well, actually you probably do. I owe you an apology too... but let's draw a veil over that if we can.

Never mind the orgasms

...we're the tantric pistols. I've gotten quite interested in the idea that we have a chemical hangover from orgasms. Apparently it takes a couple of weeks to really kick in...

I'm trying to figure out whether or not I have a crush

Having a crush on someone's a pretty crap reason to actually try to get with them anyway, innit? I mean, it's gonna wear off...

angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 15:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I've gotten quite interested in the idea that we have a chemical hangover from orgasms.

I dunno about that, but Oxytocin is definitely addictive. I mean, that's the whole point of it! And why you feel so crap when you break up with someone/stop having sex.

Having a crush on someone's a pretty crap reason to actually try to get with them anyway, innit?

What other reason *is* there to get with someone? Sure, you should have stuff in common with them, and enjoy their company and all that. But if you don't have a crush on them, why bother getting with them? Why not just be their friend?

(I think if I have to give it this much thought, I probably don't have a crush on this person. Or perhaps I'm still just mangled.)

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Actually, that said, if I were to have casual sex with someone, it would probably be better if I *didn't* have a crush on them.

I mean, how do you go about *doing* that? How do you kind of approach a friend and say "hey, would you mind terribly if we had casual sex? I think it might be a good idea for both of us."

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:15 (nineteen years ago) link

No, this is a terrible idea and can only lead to badness.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:24 (nineteen years ago) link

That's what wanks are for.

In good times
And bad times
I will rub one out because I'm bored
That's what wanks are for

The Ghost of Dionne Warwick (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes, I will now go home and rifle my room for fan fiction, Barbara Cartland's Love At The Helm, old issues of Country Life and any other wank-fantasy-material I can lay my hands on. Hurrah! That's that sorted, then.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:29 (nineteen years ago) link

What other reason *is* there to get with someone?

I kinda agree... and I kinda don't. Like, if you've got a crush and it's serious, you're basically temporarily mad, so you've gotta do something about it. But whatever that is, it's generally idiotic. This is all in the wrong thread...

I also think chemical responses ain't any path to real happiness.

angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 15:32 (nineteen years ago) link

What *is* happiness but a chemical response, really?

Honestly... I know I'm coked to the gills on SSRIs lately, but really.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:34 (nineteen years ago) link

Now we're getting into the realms of philosophy. I've had my time on SSRIs too, aw Kate. It's strange the way chemical and enviromental factors combine to influence your mood. It's not one thing or the other...

angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I HATE YOU DAN FOR THE IMAGE IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW.

Gag ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

(a winner is me)

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 August 2005 16:16 (nineteen years ago) link

Playing is easy... or perhaps that should be, soft. Love is hard... or perhaps that should be, hell.

Ah, Kitchens Of Distinction *sigh*

Indeed. They bring a whole new meaning to Kate's mention of effects pedals, too!

Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 August 2005 17:03 (nineteen years ago) link

After all, no-one used effects pedals quite like (or as well as) Julian Swales did.

Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 August 2005 17:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeeeeeeah!!! I saw KoD loads in the early ninties and interviewed 'em once. Used to love em! The sounds that guy got out of his gittah were un-feckin-believable. Shimmering waterfalls of sound.

And... the first time we opened the capsule, everything went...

angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 18:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh I give up.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 August 2005 18:11 (nineteen years ago) link

off to the convent?

oops (Oops), Monday, 22 August 2005 20:30 (nineteen years ago) link

whooops! it was the third time we opened the capsule that everything went...

angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 22:14 (nineteen years ago) link

IAN DID YOU SEE MY POST ABOUT YMA SUMAC PLAYING IN FLORIDA IN OCTOBER?!?!?!

I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (ex machina), Monday, 22 August 2005 22:22 (nineteen years ago) link

Horny to guitar pedals in ten posts... oh no, we scared Luna off.

I had Kitchens of Distinctions CDs at one point, but my brother kept nicking them. Strange, because he hated all my other space/drone/shoegazer stuff. (Except maybe the Cocteau Twins whose records he also kept nicking.)

Did not wank last night. Watched CSI:BBC until I fell asleep.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 06:42 (nineteen years ago) link

I've been masturbating pretty furiously lately, but only out of boredom. Well, and I guess for the orgasms, because having one is usually better than not. But you really do get diminishing returns from wanking all the time. I need to save it for a couple of days for maximum gooeyness next time.

Also, looking at pictures of naked women sometimes does nothing to improve my mood. I came across a picture the other day that just killed me -- it was a woman's neck and shoulder. No tits, no ass, neck and shoulder. I wanted to kiss it so bad it was almost physically painful.

I did go over to the ex's apartment tonight and she hugged me a lot and sat in my lap through The Daily Show, and she smelled nice, and that should be enough to hold me for a few days.

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 07:28 (nineteen years ago) link

How could your brother not like Spacemen 3? I'm assuming you were a big fan of Sonic and co...

I am having attacks of remorse at my idiotic attitude towards you recently, Kate. They pass but anyway, sorry.

I'm not wanking either. Paunchy, can I humbly suggest - don't do it so much. Focus your energies elsewhere.

angle of dateh, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Hmmm... not wanking but posting. Sounds like a Stevie Smith poem.


Nobody heard him, the bored man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was spending too much time on ilx
And not wanking but posting.

Poor dog, he always loved barking
And now he's bored.
They must have been too bold for him his balls gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too bold always
(Still the bored one lay moaning)
I stayed in all my life
Not wanking but posting.

angle of dateh, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 10:02 (nineteen years ago) link

amazon is here for you

mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 18:51 (nineteen years ago) link

You can get anything on amazon now, huh?

The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 18:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Man, I had more stupid dreams last night grrrr

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 19:07 (nineteen years ago) link

six months pass...
"..."

luna (luna.c), Friday, 24 February 2006 00:48 (eighteen years ago) link

agreed

ai lien (kold_krush), Friday, 24 February 2006 03:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Two words. Bed death.

*sigh*

Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 24 February 2006 03:26 (eighteen years ago) link


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