Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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How's he been passing his exams/essay hand-ins at uni, geez?!

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 05:40 (nineteen years ago)

total mystery. god knows what the "unsuitable candidates" were like!!

― genital hyphys (haitch), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 05:58 (nineteen years ago)

We once had a branch manager whose grammer and spelling was so bad, he was completely unable to write readable memos. Any memos my boss received from him got sent down to me for interpretation first. His writing skills were so bad, I seriously wondered how he had ever managed to get any office jobs in the first place. He was a recruitment consultant, and if he had received an application letter from himself he would have binned it immediately for being barely readable.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 07:23 (nineteen years ago)

Isn’t there a thread on smelly co-workers?

Anyway, there’s a lad on my team who insists on have the overhead fan on all the time. This in its self isn’t a problem; it’s the fact that he smells like trench foot and the fan wafts his stench about is. I have mentioned it to my team leader and she said it’s been noticed and the rest of the team are aware of his odour as well and that we should just see if his personal hygiene improves. I told her I wasn’t happy with this, as I am unable to eat or snack at my desk because of the smell. I was told I would have to put up with it until something could be done.

Am I being unfair on this person by complaining?

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:04 (nineteen years ago)

How Do You Discreetly & Politely Tell Someone that their Underarm Deodorant (or, more likely, their complete lack thereof) is in Swift Need of a Reappraisal?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:08 (nineteen years ago)

i seem to remember that thread being a bit scary.

― i am teh_kit! (g-kit), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:11 (nineteen years ago)

hehe

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:13 (nineteen years ago)

you're a very bad mang.

― i am teh_kit! (g-kit), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:24 (nineteen years ago)

cf also:

Smelly Colleagues
Stinkers

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:26 (nineteen years ago)

Oh no, Alba, not my misuse of 'epicentre' again! Every so often I'll be doing the ironing or something and I'll think about that thread and cringe all over again. More than five years later!

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 11:26 (nineteen years ago)

Aaaarrrggghhh! wtf, shut up shut up shut up, you don't know shit about Sumer/Babylon/whateverthefuck. Oh god can I survive the next week without killing you? Hahahahahahaha I will never have to think about your toxic barbeque "parties" ever AGAIN! You cross-eyed matted-haired lazy-assed stamp-collecting Kansas-listening fart machine!

/ rant

whew thanks.

― Jaq (Jaq), Thursday, 14 September 2006 21:00 (nineteen years ago)

You cross-eyed matted-haired lazy-assed stamp-collecting Kansas-listening fart machine!

Wow, GROSS.

― Danny Aioli (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 14 September 2006 21:06 (nineteen years ago)

I have a co-worker that's an annoying Texan stoner who skips out whenever there's anything to do around here, leaving everyone else to pick up the slack. Of course, his presence is more annoying than his absence. He's like a real-life Jim Anchower.

― mucho (mucho), Friday, 15 September 2006 23:39 (nineteen years ago)

A few months ago we ran a review of the then-recently released film Mission: Impossible III, starring the universally loved and respected (if diminutive) actor Tom Cruise, in the local paper I work for. This review was agency copy and as such would've been carried by the many local papers up and down the country that subscribe to the agency's service.

The review began something like this.

Tom Cruise sliding down a rope, stopping inches away from a nasty landing... Check

Enough masks, disguises and costumes to stock a fancy dress shop... Check

The famous line: "This message will self-destruct in five seconds"... Check

Close-ups of Cruise looking hot... Check

Double crosses and triple crosses... Check

So I prepare this copy for the reviews page and send it to press, ready to be printed over the weekend for the Monday edition of the paper. On Sunday evening I find a voicemail on my mobile phone from the overnight editor asking me to call him urgently. Later I find three messages of increasing anxiety on my answerphone at home as well. I ring in.

Ed: "There's something wrong with your reviews page. It's not been finished."
Me: "Really? I thought everything had been done, the page was proofed and actually we ran that copy in the week in our other editions."
Ed: "No, there's all this work that's been left undone on it."
Me: "Like what?"
Ed: "It says 'check' everywhere, you've got all these facts you need to check in the copy."
Me: "Ah..."

― angle of d... (tingo), Saturday, 16 September 2006 16:24 (nineteen years ago)

Ed: "It says 'check' everywhere, you've got all these facts you need to check in the copy."

Where have you hidden his body?

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 16 September 2006 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

Slightly annoying individual who models himself on Norman Wisdom was ejected from the building after being caught not once but twice on the Internet looking at porn. 1st time was on overtime on Saturday, and then he was caught again last night.

His last words were “what am I to do now?”

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 22 September 2006 05:44 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.genarians.com/images/norman-wisdom-sized.jpg
Oh no they took my porn!

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:50 (nineteen years ago)

ha ha, good one Archel!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:19 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

PUT WORK IN MY FUCKING INBOX, NOT CHAIR OR KEYBOARD, THX

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:30 (nineteen years ago)

I don;t mind the chair or keyboard, but it really pisses me off when one of the guys in the office puts it on the floor - right fucking next to where I'm sitting. I've implemented the "you rude bastard, if you put work on the floor, I will not do it" rule.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:51 (nineteen years ago)

PUT WORK IN MY FUCKING INBOX, NOT CHAIR OR KEYBOARD, THX

Seconded.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

On the floor???

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

On the floor. He comes over with this stupid smirk on his face, drops it to the floor next to my chair and giggles to himself as he walks away. There's a letter sitting there right now that's been there since Tuesday.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 19:52 (nineteen years ago)

is his name chaki?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 19:58 (nineteen years ago)

does that even make sense?

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:00 (nineteen years ago)

Yes. You have been accused of being a floor document put-er. how do you plead?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

It'll stick to him better than being "a DJ."

What about co-workers who contantly say "That is sooooooo funny" rather than LAUGHING?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:22 (nineteen years ago)

Are their names chaki too?

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

What about co-workers who contantly say "That is sooooooo funny" rather than LAUGHING?

People who do that need to be slapped in the face. Over and over again.

I just went out in the rain to get a new desk chair, and the place WAS MOVING so they had about 5 chairs out. Now I look like a wet dog and my co-workers are laughing at my misfortune. Fuck all y'all.

― molly d (mollyd), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:26 (nineteen years ago)

Seriously, my dear, how have you not decked this dude, though? That makes me think of David Goben (that's right, fucker, google yourself. PS you also had bad, bad breath and also Patrick caught you snooping through people's trash to find shit on them).

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:31 (nineteen years ago)

It'll stick to him better than being "a DJ."

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN!?!???@#@

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:17 (nineteen years ago)

He's my boss, so no decking allowed, unfortunately.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

He's my boss, so no decking allowed, unfortunately.
next time he comes over, stand up and scream "no i will not touch your cock"

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:03 (nineteen years ago)

I don't get the problem with people putting work on your chair or keyboard. How long does it take to pick it up and put it where you'd prefer it? (Then again, I have never had an inbox, so.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:06 (nineteen years ago)

I always leave things on people's chairs. Always. It is the accepted and expected way of doing things at my company.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:18 (nineteen years ago)

I hafta say though that I no longer have any substantive complaints about anybody I work with. Sure, there's a few people with work-habit quirks, but that stuff is real minor on the annoyance scale.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:21 (nineteen years ago)

I now have two part time jobs and no complaints about anyone I work with because I work TOTALLY ALONE. I'm glad they're not full time, I'd be crazy!

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:37 (nineteen years ago)

our awful student mentioned upthread (who NEVER improved at all) has gone, hooray!

― H2-H4 (H2-H4), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:54 (nineteen years ago)

chair is for urgency only, not general notice

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Thursday, 26 October 2006 23:27 (nineteen years ago)

Then again, I have never had an inbox, so.

Well, that makes all the difference. The point of the inbox is for ppl to put work there. Putting it elsewhere sez "You are an ass who never sees the inbox 10 inches from his face" or "My document is the most important, and I'm too busy to put a Post-It on it."

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

(I am going to put the inbox on my chair every time I step out, and see who comments first.)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 12:49 (nineteen years ago)

Everybody here is okay personality-wise, but this one woman is afflicted with Inexplicable Office Inefficiency Disorder, an affliction that strikes it's victims incapable of accomplishing even the simplest tasks without expending a phenomenally disproportionate amount of time and/or effort. Symptoms include: inability to see things directly in front of them (even when assisted), inefficient typing/data-entry abilities (possibly due to hunt-and-peck disorder and/or ridiculously long fingernails), a predilection for double-entry, and dragon-like coffee/cigarette breath (may not be related).

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Friday, 27 October 2006 13:04 (nineteen years ago)

I'm pretty amazed by the Inefficiency Disorder on display right behind my desk and especially the tendency of this extremely loud Californian to drag others into it. But most of all, I realized how stupid she was when earlier this week she said she thinks OJ is innocent.

― richardk (Richard K), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

The glove didn't fit! They had to acquit!

― ONIMO's pet donkey jacket potato (GerryNemo), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:16 (nineteen years ago)

wow, didn't know that was still the Caucasian IQ test, or is it 1996?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

There's a test? Fuck!

― ONIMO's got some revising to do (GerryNemo), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:22 (nineteen years ago)

That same woman I mentioned above always puts the apostrophe in the wrong place in dates, ie 06' Toyota Highlander, Grammy Awards 06', etc. It is killing me.

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Friday, 27 October 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

The programmer who sits next to me has a Star Wars "Imperial March" ringtone on his phone. It was nerdy the first time I heard it when he started two months ago, but after five or six phone calls a day, every day. I want to light saber his head off.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 27 October 2006 21:35 (nineteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

Thanks for waiting til 4:20 Friday to give me the journal correx, then leaving before me, ASS EDITOR ASS.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 17 November 2006 22:58 (nineteen years ago)

I just witnessed someone trimming their fingernails in their cubicle, accompanied by the *snip*snip* metal clipper sound.

I need a drink.

― molly d (mollyd), Monday, 20 November 2006 19:30 (nineteen years ago)

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