depression is a bitch but fortunately i'm not really feeling depressed now. it seems when depression lifts this nasty little voice in my head awakens and tries to bring me down again. bastard!
it's faulty thinking, most self-esteem problems are, and I hope to beat it into submission.
― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 17:00 (seventeen years ago) link
The nasty little voice IS the depression. Knocking on your door. I want to send you a big stick for the beating it into submission part!
Another very simple, and logical thing is exercise. I'm not always so great at leaving the house if I feel blue, yet one vigorous walk down the street almost always lifts my spirits.
Beating depression into submission via martial arts has worked for a few friends of mine! I imagine you wielding a stick against the depression, in a woman warrior outfit.
― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 18:27 (seventeen years ago) link
ah yes my depression never truly leaves. although it's much more quiet these days.
(i'm usually sam but misery is just fine as well. see above.)
― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 19:00 (seventeen years ago) link
― and what (ooo), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 19:01 (seventeen years ago) link
Yes, it does. And to me it sounds like a fairish amount of what you are feeling is not so much depression as grief.
Depression is a hard thing to sort out. It can be caused by just plain chemical imbalances in your brain, in which case, no amount of 'perspective' is going to make you more hopeful. You will need a doctor to help you decide if you require some sort of anti-depressant drugs or similar therapy to climb out of that hole.
Depression can also be a temporary side effect of just coping with horrid situations. Luckily, this second sort is easier to wrestle with and ghet past. In this second circumstance the difference between sadness/grief and depression is that if you are feeling genuinely sad, then you are feeling something. This can tip over into depression when you start to supress and avoid feeling your grief, and you just go numb and stop feeling much of anything.
Usually, going numb in the face of grief or sadness is founded on one's sense that, either the grief is too big to face, or that if you stop to notice how you feel it will incapacitate you, or prevent you from carrying out your pressing responsibilities. This is a decent sort of coping skill, but it is hard to shut off. The "cure" is to make sure you identify, or set aside, times when you are allowed to feel like shit, to cry, to shake, to claw at your face, or whatever acts express your feelings most pungently.
Believe me, I know about this second kind of depression and it feels like an endless mountain of pain you are condemned to dig through. But, it is not endless, and the only real way forward is to go through. It is a hundred times easier to go through this if you have some emotional support from friends or family.
Good luck. Don't give up.
― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 19:30 (seventeen years ago) link
Would you like to go any farther with this? if you like to make yourself feel good by making a nasty, one line comment in reference to a long post, go right ahead. I hope your day was made brighter by being an asshole.
― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 20:12 (seventeen years ago) link
― aimurchie (aimurchie), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 20:26 (seventeen years ago) link
it can often be a good to think of how unfortunate we are even in the worst of times. It can help to give you some perspective.
― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 20:30 (seventeen years ago) link
― Abbott (Abbott), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 21:04 (seventeen years ago) link
― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 21:06 (seventeen years ago) link
― Abbott (Abbott), Tuesday, 30 January 2007 21:09 (seventeen years ago) link
I have a perverse genius for doing the wrong thing. Why shouldn't I hate myself?
― Miss Anne Thrope (j.lu), Friday, 20 June 2014 19:07 (nine years ago) link
Self-loathing and self-disgust seem to be more common than self-hatred. But then there's that whole, nasty thing about self-harming that I can't really wrap my head around, either.
― Aimless, Friday, 20 June 2014 22:04 (nine years ago) link
I hate myself all of the time. It comes from growing up in a military family. Self-hatred prepares you for confrontation with thine enemy.
― Money Launderers in the Temple (I M Losted), Saturday, 21 June 2014 17:44 (nine years ago) link
it's easy to be to weak to survive and too weak to kill yourself
― Nhex, Saturday, 21 June 2014 20:35 (nine years ago) link
@tree_broI feel like shit and i hate myself <-- CAN ANYBODY RELATE TO THIS??? ANYBODY/??? ON THE INTERNET?????
― 龜, Saturday, 21 June 2014 20:40 (nine years ago) link
I hate who I am around certain people.
― *tera, Saturday, 21 June 2014 23:40 (nine years ago) link
99% of my current anger issues come from the feeling that id like to kick my own ass
― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 03:07 (nine years ago) link
what is 1% from?
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 03:17 (nine years ago) link
his ass
― mh, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 03:31 (nine years ago) link
Lol
― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 03:57 (nine years ago) link
i wrote this down in a word document after a bad experience with w33d a couple years ago
our relationship with ourselves is unbearably, cloyingly close so of course it leads to resentment, even disgust. the solution is to focus on things outside the self but this can only be a distraction. in a deep, primordial sense i'm not sure people can ever really unproblematically love themselves the way they can love other people.
i'm not sure if i fully believe this anymore but i do know that i resent people who report liberating having liberating insights after taking drugs
― Treeship, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 04:08 (nine years ago) link
Democratic convention slogan
― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 25 June 2014 04:30 (nine years ago) link