Is the US a dystopia?

new McDonalds commercial where the cops burst in to arrest the suspect but then everyone starts eating fries and bro-ing out and the Hamburglar sneaks the assassin out

Well that's disappointing. Any chance you think they have the wrong guy? It sounds kinda conclusive but otoh police lie.

that’s what you get for going to mcdonald’s instead of sheetz

new McDonalds commercial where the cops burst in to arrest the suspect but then everyone starts eating fries and bro-ing out and the Hamburglar sneaks the assassin out

With Mac and Me 80s dance party

taking his mask down was so dumb.

― scott seward, Monday, December 9, 2024 12:17 PM (fifty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

yeah theyre not going to let you check into a hotel with a mask on shouldve slept in the park i guess

You don't re-use a burned ID, that seems obvious and I'm an idiot who's never plotted a heist or a hit before, but I've read books.

Instead or wearing a facemask, should have worn an actual prosthetic face mask.

Karl Havoc pulls off this crazy prank etc

not sure why he still had the gun on him, like was he planning to use it again

should've gone to Carls Jr., they don't card anymore

wait yea why did McDonald's need to see ID?

"gotta be at least 18 to eat these McNuggets, they're hell on baby teeth"

and with fluoride-free water coming soon we'll need those choppers

"tons of unidentified bodies from car wrecks....we can't identify by teeth anymore cos nobody has any"

According to the sources, customers at a local McDonald’s thought he looked suspicious and called police.

Boggles the mind to consider what one has to be doing in order to stand out as suspicious at a McDonalds in Altoona. Was he wearing a Harris/Walz t shirt?

ordered a salad iirc

According to NYT it was an "elderly patron" at the McDonald's who called in the tip.

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:p3hhox65oaa3zpdn6njaf64s/bafkreibva23gltrxc6wiymrzcaviiescupysajok7qszgopuxvqmf3k3aa@jpeg

is that Chuck's cousin?

hey chuck i found that new sound youve been looking for *holds phone up to ceo assassination*

The Guardian:

The suspect was in a McDonald’s in Altoona, Pennsylvania and was recognized by an employee who then called local police.

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:d5vcfslnbof6iscg6bkioloa/bafkreiaoirxdyesoysxxglt5vkwbolvgzzcoorwgqtxaxh74uxvmqrn3ie@jpeg

he had to have some level of expectation he'd be caught. yeah, cops are still inept and lots of crimes don't get solved because of this, but committing the 'perfect' crime is almost impossible nowadays. you'd have to do insane amounts of info-gathering in advance but in a way that doesn't tip anybody off that you're up to no good.

like anticipating where cameras would be present not just on the street you commit the crime on, or any building you set foot in, but in literally every other location you visit afterward....and nowadays if some stranger runs into you and thinks "omg I found the guy' they can take your photo and alert pretty much the entire world within seconds. have to pay cash for everything in a society where more businesses are going cashless (#onethread)...

i guess one benefit though is you can basically go on Twitter and see what everybody's amateur theory is while you're escaping

committing the 'perfect' crime is almost impossible nowadays.

― her pal Santa falls to the floor (Neanderthal), Monday, December 9, 2024 1:48 PM (forty-two seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

yes, but i could do it

and of course it's a crapshoot. granted, this was 18 years ago, and things have definitely accelerated in terms of public surveillance, but boggles my mind that Jennifer Kesse's abductor literally drove her car back to her apartment, got out, and walked in front of a security camera in broad daylight, but the view was blocked by bars in the fence that the camera was behind so nobody could ever ID him.

he got away with it, fucked up as it was.

xpost lol

was recognized by an employee who then called local police

Mayor McSnitch

btw if you ever wanna see a hilarious movie about a 'perfect crime', The Next Three Days"

never meet your heroes

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:epaevbr2bz5t7dokjwb4cyjv/bafkreidr6chpxthykeyly26hafy46ivctqxp7rtbgh7jemp22hmjaxlkne@jpeg

Based on his Twitter TL, he seems into hustle bro optimization stuff like Andrew Huberman and Tim Ferriss.

*watch The Next Three Days.

a film which begins by FBI walking in and arresting a woman with no previous criminal record for murder because they found her fingerprints on a fire extinguisher and don't even interrogate her first or anything despite there probably being 30 people's fingerprints on that thing including young children.

xpost ew Fuck Mangione then

tbh "fuck insurance companies" was a fairly non-controversial, bipartisan opinion for a long time, it was after the Affordable Care Act got passed that Republicans began defending the industry that was killing them at all costs

think its still widely popular fwiw

once i got into a fender bender and i kept trying to tell the guy that it wasn't cut and dry and we will prob both be responsible for our own cars, and he said the "cameras will show" and started gesturing vaguely around. let's just say the cops didn't go to the footage to break that case

theyre gonna csi this shit

https://i.imgur.com/YmJLFv8.png

the guy's name is luigi's mansion

spooky

Modern Japanese urban environment is an evolutionary mismatch for the human animal.

The solution to falling birthdates isn’t immigration. It’s cultural.

Encourage natural human interaction, sex, physical fitness and spirituality:
* ban Tenga fleshlights and “Japan Real Hole”… https://t.co/3OaJLJPwpX

— Luigi Mangione (@PepMangione) April 18, 2024

turns out he's a RETVRN guy?

Is it close to the Four Seasons Total Landscaping?

not his but I loled

It’s amazing how caffeine really is the only drug that has achieved this level of social acceptance.

Imagine someone saying : ‘the first line of cocaine in the morning is one of my favourite things in life’ or ‘without my morning joint I can’t function’ https://t.co/exlxMxUDwa

— Martin Bauer (@martinmbauer) May 24, 2024

turns out he's a RETVRN guy?

― 龜, Monday, December 9, 2024 2:10 PM (seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol the things he knows about japan

seeing it mentioned that he had a back injury

at least he can polish the fenders

Based on his Twitter TL, he seems into hustle bro optimization stuff like Andrew Huberman and Tim Ferriss.

― jaymc, Monday, December 9, 2024 12:53 PM (thirty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Also based on his Goodreads, good lord

tbf reading that stuff could drive anyone to kill

grappling with the implications of The Adjuster turning out to be a hot Italian tech bro gym rat who went to Penn, seems to have had a pretty gnarly back injury, retweets anti-woke nonsense, and has read not one but two books by Steve-O

— Kim Kelly (@GrimKim) December 9, 2024

A most fascinating Milkshake Duck moment - he's not (openly) racist just the most annoying guy at a party.

weeb harvey oswald

his twitter header has an xray of what looks like steel implants in his back xp

john wilkes bowflex

sirhimbo sirhimbo

Less Milkshake Duck, more Smoothie Goose