this is the horny commiseration thread

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That takes a certain talent, n'est-ce pas?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 18 August 2005 22:16 (eighteen years ago) link

did you know that I was making a ratings related joke? I hope so

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 22:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Guys don't get a wet spot!
Not unless you cream your jeans. Although it's more of a sticky situation than anything.

Mandee, when I'm horny all day, it feels like my hormones are stabbing my pancreas. It's violent. Sometimes I want to double over.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Thursday, 18 August 2005 23:20 (eighteen years ago) link

i think i ordinarily prefer sleep to sex anyway

Oh god, this is so true it's not funny. Sigh.

― Win A Lie-Down, Mrs. Davies (kate), Friday, 19 August 2005 06:56 (eighteen years ago) link

i think i ordinarily prefer sleep to sex anyway

Awh, Kate. This reminds me of a gag I heard, but it's a joke for boys: Get one of those condoms that's got anaesthetic lubricant for extra 'performa'nce and wear it inside out. That way, you don't need to wake anybody up...

― angle of dateh, Friday, 19 August 2005 07:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Eurgh, that's sick!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:25 (eighteen years ago) link

I am boggling at condoms designed to give the wearer *less* pleasure.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:42 (eighteen years ago) link

i rubbed one out this morning at 4am to a skinemax cheap porno.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:50 (eighteen years ago) link

sweet. i just slept for 11 hours, so hopefully i'll be all good today.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 11:47 (eighteen years ago) link

I am boggling at condoms designed to give the wearer *less* pleasure.

I assume they're designed specially for men who cum on the first stroke.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:23 (eighteen years ago) link

(so they probably *do* increase the amount of pleasure had by the couple as a whole)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:26 (eighteen years ago) link

http://altura.speedera.net/ccimg.catalogcity.com/200000/204700/204700/Products/5679554.jpg

― angle of dateh, Friday, 19 August 2005 13:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Someday I will have sex again. Maybe. I hope.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Maybe we could start an ILX0r sex exchange!

And get done for prostitution. Maybe not.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:53 (eighteen years ago) link

uhh, is that condom box saying that you use de-sensitizing condoms to achieve 50 SECONDS OF PLEASURE? not very ambitious...

― scout (scout), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:56 (eighteen years ago) link

aww, william.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:01 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't think that's a clockface--it's a speedometer

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:13 (eighteen years ago) link

oh, wait, it is a speedometer

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:15 (eighteen years ago) link

im not horny today for sex, im horny for a good cuddle

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Mandee, I am cuddling with you right now, in my mind.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:20 (eighteen years ago) link

I thought it was a dB / VU type sound meter. Ach well.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:20 (eighteen years ago) link

im not horny today for sex, im horny for a good cuddle

i know that feeling

― stelf)xxx, Friday, 19 August 2005 15:05 (eighteen years ago) link

I assume they're designed specially for men who cum on the first stroke

I've actually tried these, not specifically because I'm the sort of man who cums on the first stroke, but because I was drunk at the 24 hour shop and it was like *swaying in front of counter* gimmie some of those *points* - needless to say I was too drunk to read or care about the small print.

I can't really report on their anaesthetic effect as there was so much alcohol in my system at the time. On the way back from the shop I fell off my bike and bashed up my elbow really good. This naturally didn't stop me using the condoms but it did mean I woke up with the bed covered in blood, amplifying that dirrty "WTF happened? - ah, great night" moment.

Curiously the monitor in front of me has lots of condoms around it which have been sent to my work as a promo. Instead of being lubricated with anaesthetic they are lubricated with "warm sensations", which I'm hopefully assuming is a very mild form of deep heat.

― angle of dateh, Friday, 19 August 2005 15:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Someday I will have sex again. Maybe. I hope.

I say this to myself all the time.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 19 August 2005 16:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Girls go crazy for a shaved pubes bear

― Bob Dobolina, Friday, 19 August 2005 16:46 (eighteen years ago) link

All l did last night was dream about sex. I'm going mental with the horn right now.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 19 August 2005 18:55 (eighteen years ago) link

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 19 August 2005 19:24 (eighteen years ago) link

Girls go crazy for a shaved pubes bear

Um, what?

― Je4nne ƒur¥ should buy one (Je4nne Fury), Friday, 19 August 2005 20:30 (eighteen years ago) link

sweet. i just slept for 11 hours, so hopefully i'll be all good today.

i got an adequate amount of sleep last night, so i'm left to assume a correlation between wakefulness and horndoggyness on my part.

i guess it doesn't help that i spend most of my workday having to look at some nude/mostly nude bodies.

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Umm, what is your job, Joseph?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:31 (eighteen years ago) link

Also for some reason, I was fine until a few minutes ago.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:32 (eighteen years ago) link

i work in a library.

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Erm... what kind of library, exactly?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I wonder why?

Lack of sleep never makes a difference for me.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:35 (eighteen years ago) link

the head of the sub-library where i work is keen to get anything relating to downtown nyc in our dept. (even moreso if they happen to be gay/lesbian materials), so i'm processing the first fifteen or so years of the mix festival's videos/paper files. and naturally, in the zillions of press clippings and photo stills therein, there's a whoooooole lotta ribaldry goin' on, so i really can't NOT think of sex when i'm working.

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Joseph, did I mention I was bi?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

i believe you did

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh dear.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:27 (eighteen years ago) link

I have become a caricature, haven't I?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:27 (eighteen years ago) link

YAYYY ILX!

(i think i come across as more of a caricature on these boards than you do anyway) (or so i think)

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

(I've got you both beat)

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Which library do you work at, Joseph?

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 20 August 2005 00:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Gee, ILx is horny . . .I miss so much while I'm away.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Saturday, 20 August 2005 01:49 (eighteen years ago) link

mary - i work at b0bst, actually! (and within b0bst, the fa1es library)

― joseph (joseph), Saturday, 20 August 2005 05:56 (eighteen years ago) link

ps i'm drunk so COMMISERATION NOWWWWWWWWWW

― joseph (joseph), Saturday, 20 August 2005 06:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Le horn. Le sigh.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 20 August 2005 12:58 (eighteen years ago) link

Le sbian ménage à trois?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 20 August 2005 13:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Joseph--oh cool! I did my MA at NYU and studied once at Fales--but I felt like I had to treat the book they gave with kid gloves! That's sounds like a cool project they have you working on.

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 20 August 2005 15:43 (eighteen years ago) link

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:36 (eighteen years ago) link

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:46 (eighteen years ago) link

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