What can you tell me about Autism?

I think on paper they can run until 25 or is it 24? but in practise most LA's wont fund them that long because they argue that there comes a point where there is no further educational progress. It's bollox of course. Tutors I talk to say the average funding for 19+ students usually runs in 2/3 year blocks until ehcp is withdrawn. It is hard for them to make this case for Alex because there is too much evidence of progress witnessed by multiple professionals, but even that wouldn't guarantee the funding. It seems a bit arbitrary really. There is an appeals process if you don't agree with their decision, but you never find out until May/June when the term is nearly over. So I guess most parents/carers will be faced with decision of going into what is probably a lengthy appeals process that could stretch into the next college term without resolution or just give up on FE and look for social care options.

Arbitrary is exactly what it is

Glad to hear, calzino

That's great to hear, calzino.

We're in the process of getting one for our boy. He's 18 but has missed so much education; the council were bemused that his school/college hadn't sorted it out before.

it was made mercifully decision-free for me because there was no college within the council district that met his needs and the nearest one that did was exactly the one I wanted him to go to. In fact I'd previously lost an education tribunal appeal to get him into the school there, so was ultra-focussed on it. It was an amazing college but then covid happened, which fucked everything up!

Wrote a long post and lost it, looking for advice really. TL;DR - my 9yo's friend "Tom" likely has ASD, being assessed, they've been friends forever and we just deal with any challenging behaviours but recently he's been quite violent, daily, to his friends including my kid (trying to bite people, throwing him to the ground etc). I've said it's OK to say "I don't want to play with you when you hurt me" but he's scared of annoying him and inviting retaliation. His few friends do seem to be on eggshells. My kid is pulling back and deciding he's less of a friend which would be terrible for Tom if it continues. Just don't know how to deal with it, Tom seems unable to control the violent outbursts but also don't think grasps that people will dislike him for it. I'm good friends with his mum but basically I don't think she knows how to deal with it at all, and perhaps hasn't realised it's escalated so much recently.

I'm good friends with his mum but basically I don't think she knows how to deal with it at all, and perhaps hasn't realised it's escalated so much recently.

there is nothing that can prepare you for daily extreme challenging behaviour and as a parent/carer it can make you feel alienated, isolated, you might even have a few nervous breakdowns - it's a rough place to be. A good move might be for her to contact the local CAMHS (child & adolescent mental health services). I did this after struggling for years and should have done it much sooner. It's that trying to muddle through things and hope they will magically get better thing that I tried. I got a CAHMS nurse visiting my house and she had 3 decades of exp working with autistic children and adults and had seen it all before, which is a very important perspective for someone to share with you when you are in that shit lonely place! There is still advice and things she said from 8 years ago that I remember and she was spot on about everything. And she didn't tolerate any of my hopeful copium that he'd just grow out of it and all would be calm and good thereafter. Just to speak to someone who has seen it all before and can be calmly analytical about what you are dealing with and give good advice was a very important moment to me.

I'm trying not to do a long post because I'm bad at them and tend to become repetitive. But I do hope there is something helpful there for your friend.

Thanks - I know they are going through some diagnosis process and doing play therapy, but tbh I don't know how much hands-on advice they're getting. She is by nature a 'gentle parenting' type which is the opposite to me, ha, plus is exhausted so genuinely doesn't notice stuff because her attention is elsewhere. I'll ask her if anyone experienced is in regular contact with them/ visiting them. I worry as well that as they get older the one or two classmates that find it funny to wind him up will become more cruel or even physical back to him.

I keep hearing from various professionals that diagnosis is taking forever these days, this fucking country.