Donald Trump: Classic or Dud?

Consistent with sleeping

From today's NYT trial updates:

Keith Davidson is now reading his texts with Dylan Howard aloud. One of them joked about hiring a Trump impersonator who had more money than Trump. Pressed on what that meant, Davidson, appearing deeply uncomfortable and choosing his words carefully, says he took it to mean that Trump was not as wealthy as he claimed.

This guy is a straight up genius. https://t.co/APq3OPgWFd

— Andrew Fleischman (@ASFleischman) April 30, 2024

looking good don

I have a lot of questions

who wouldnt be overjoyed to receive a painting that looks just like their wife and even looks like the same race as their wife

I must say, Gary Peterson, you’ve brought me a spot of joy today

Patriot. Bible Reader. Mall Santa. I like WOMEN! Bass player for our church band Shifty Nelson & The Dixieland Scooters, who puts America First.

America
God

Why is there a cat sitting at the top of the plane's stairs

trump's gonna hang a painting of Vanessa Williams on wall

“…I hope it brings him as much joy on his bedroom walls as it did ours!”

These are such strange times.

Yes, silly satire is something never known in human history previously

that man is my new hero...

not so sure about the painter dude

That picture is up there with the one of him posing with silver platters stacked with big macs

I know Peterson's a satirist, but: is it a real painting, or is the whole scene shopped up?

It reminds me of when Skot gave that painting he did to Parker Posey lol.

I think the whole thing is a shop. There's no way Trump would make that face in a photo with a "fan." He'd make the other guy hold the painting so he could do that stupid thumbs-up thing he does.

yeah it's too good to be real but its still incredibly funny

Apparently the Melania face is a drag queen called Sasha Colby which is pretty chefs kiss.

https://i.imgur.com/xoEjpgX.png

sir...you didn't let me guess

Where's FARTY JOE? He's FARTING, that's where!

every accusation is a confession

--@KidsWriteJokes

Where's Waldo? He's right there you dummy.

Exciting news, Alfred!

Inside The Move to Maneuver Marco Rubio Into the VP Slot

DONALD TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN STAFF has assembled a dozen dossiers on possible running mates, but they largely remain unopened by the presidential candidate, who’s conducting his own vetting process by asking friends, consultants, and insiders whom they think he should pick and why.

In these discussions, two names consistently rise to the top: Marco Rubio and J.D. Vance, who was this weekend the subject of a flattering story in the New York Times and has been pushed by Don Jr.

But Rubio has strong support in Trump’s circle of advisers, especially among those with Florida ties. There’s just one problem.

Trump and Rubio are both Florida Men.

The Twelfth Amendment says that if the president and vice president inhabit the same state when the states’ electors cast their ballots (that’s on December 17 this year), the ticket could lose its Electoral College votes from that state (Florida has 30, 11 percent of the total needed to win the White House).

It’s called the “favorite sons” prohibition.

“Marco has this residency problem,” is how Trump describes it to others.

Congratulations, JD Vance (you bastard)

Would JD Vance get Trump one extra vote?

He can reuse the old Trump-Pence signs with minimal change to the design.

Vance should by all rights cost home votes.

had no idea Vance and Trump jr were buds

*him*

He can reuse the old Trump-Pence signs with minimal change to the design.

Time to bust out the Sharpies!

In all seriousness, Vance makes sense since he has openly said he will not have Pence-like qualms about overturning an election, and that "we need a Caesar".

specifically the last ten minutes of Caesar

Didn't the founding fathers hate Caesar?

Washington has his troops watch a play about Cato at Valley Forge

Absolutely, Caesar was a tyrant and symbolised tyranny. Brutus was considered a hero to the French revolutionaries.

Trump will be headlining the Libertarian National Convention in DC. Oh, those principled libertarians! I guess their slogan "Become Ungovernable" doesn't mean what I thought it meant...or maybe it means exactly that.

i'm not going to say this is going to happen, but there is at least a 1 in 10,000 chance that he's going to reveal that he thinks he's at the Librarian National Convention, he'll riff on the library for a while until realizing, and then later will yell at everyone who points it out and say he always knew it was the Libertarian National Convention

the chances of him just dying out of nowhere are probably a better than 1 in 10,000 on any given day,wouldn't you think?

you can't win unless you play, natural causes lotto

Chances are the stage at the Libertarian convention is not up to code

lol

hahahaha brilliant

please please please let something like this happen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu-BqOsvj00

only fatal

So surprising that Libertarians are just authoritarians in drag.

lol PL

PK I meant

every time I hear of the Libertarian convention I can only think of this classic moment which is somehow the perfect 25 second comedy sketch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZITP93pqtdQ

Ahahaha toasters