US Politics, April 2024: "Are You Better Off Today Than You Were <Checks Notes> Four Years Ago?"

They suffer so:

Hello from court where this afternoon, we’re expecting the trial to actually start. We’re refreshed after lunch from the courthouse cafeteria, including their usual selection of plastic-wrapped cream-cheese bagels of questionable age.

The trick will be if Trump just eats one with the wrapping and falls asleep.

"it's bleu cheese, it's supposed to be blue"

Very low energy

Will he get botulism from three-day-old schmear

https://i.imgflip.com/8mv5tg.jpg

The pro-Trump crowd inside Collect Pond Park across the street from the courthouse dissipated as morning turned to afternoon. The crowd, which at its peak was around 150 people, has mostly left, with many pro-Trump protesters in MAGA and KAG (Keep America Great) hats sitting on benches in the shade. About six American flags (and one "Trump or Death" banner) are rippling in the gentle breeze.

When our union was saved by the immortal heroes at Gettysburg, Gettysburg, what an unbelievable battle that was, the battle of Gettysburg, what an unbelievable, I mean it was so much and so interesting, and so vicious and horrible and... so beautiful in so many different ways. It represented such a big portion of the success of this country. Gettysburg, wow... I go to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, to look and to watch, and uh, the statement of Robert E. Lee, who's no longer in favor, did you ever notice that? No longer in favor. "Never fight up hill o' me, boys, never fight uphill." They were fighting uphill, he said, "Wow..." That was a big mistake, he lost his great general, and uh, they were fighting --- "Never fight uphill 'o me, boys!" But it was too late.

versus

Four score and seven years ago - so many years. It's incredible. Think about that, it's just an incredible number of years - our fathers, and specifically my father, who was a great man, my father, he built a great company, and he brought forth on America... (applause) It's great, America. You know. (applause) America. A new nation, a great nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated - - - can you believe what they're saying in the media? The media, these guys, the worst guys I have ever seen. Just horrible. Horrible. And this new nation, we're gonna make it great again.

Folks, you know, we're engaged in a civil war. A civil war. Believe me. Crooked Hillary (crowd booing)... oh, my goodness. Crooked Hillary, she thinks America can't endure! (more boos) But you know, without the wall, no nation can endure, (applause) and we're gonna build the wall. (crowd chanting, 'Build the wall!') It's gonna happen and today we're on a battlefield. A great battlefield. I think - and you can ask people. People know this, that this is the greatest battlefield, of this war and maybe even the greatest battlefield of all time, and we're gonna measure that because I think this is a really terrific battlefield. We're about out of time so I'm gonna take a few questions and we're gonna make America great again.

― Silence, followed by unintelligible stammering. (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, August 17, 2016 2:50 PM bookmarkflaglink

Despot, The Insult Comic Bore

Wow.

"More than half of prospective jurors in the first panel of 96 people have been excused after saying they could not be fair and impartial. At least 50 were let go for that reason"

— per @GrahamKates in the press pool

— Adam Klasfeld (@KlasfeldReports) April 15, 2024

Fox News currently torn between mentioning Trump fell asleep at his trial or claiming he's actually woke

What’s the usual rate of excusal in that venue/court for that apparent that reason

It's a quick way to get out of serving on a long trial

What has his life been but a long trial. For everyone.

The third prospective juror, asked about her hobbies, said she likes to “go to the club.” She said it in a playful voice, prompting a big laugh from reporters in the overflow room.

"Never Fight A Pill!" for May Thread Title.

It's a beautiful day, so I walked to the library to pick up a cookbook (Jason Hammel's "Lula Cafe Cookbook"). On the way there I passed a man who looked like a Mormon missionary that had been out in the sun a bit too long. He smiled at me, so I smiled back, and then he held out a clipboard. I took out my earbuds (Big Star's "Radio City," literally timeless in that it never gets old) and asked him what's up. He asked me if I would sign a petition. "What's it for?" I asked. I could have sworn he subtly tilted the clipboard closer to him, to make it harder to read.

"I'm not asking for any money," he said.

"I get that," I said. "What's the petition for?"

And then I see the bold courier type at the top: "Robert Kennedy Jr." I tap the top of the clipboard, twice, hard. "No, not that guy."

The man visibly deflated and looked at me, desperate. "Third party?" he asked, with some exhaustion, as if those words alone would open some magical door.

"I'm fine with third parties," I said. "But I don't like his politics, and I don't like his anti-science beliefs." I saluted. "Good luck, Kennedy-guy." And then I walked off.

JUST SIGN THE FUCKING PETITION WILL YOU??

please clap

I hope you did a jump, with a heel click!

(More seriously, thank you.)

I mostly wanted to immediately wash my hands.

What would have been listening to when you were washing your hands?

Probably Big Star, "September Gurls" had just started by the time I got home.

lol

https://t.co/a12PUkIa4k pic.twitter.com/Swan4rIvjP

— Biden-Harris HQ (@BidenHQ) April 15, 2024

damn that's next level troll

Sleeping in court again?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfQFq8jMMsY

what kind of socialist hellhole is this that a man of mr. trump's stature is sitting in witch-hunt court instead of golfing at one of his country clubs?

jesus wept :(

Reclaim
Fucking
Klanland

https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4595085-rfk-jr-trump-vp-2024-campaign/

Reclaim
Fucking
Klanland

https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4595085-rfk-jr-trump-vp-2024-campaign🕸/

Hey, remember Madison Cawthorn? Asshole right-wing House member? Wheelchair? Well, apparently he rear-ended a cop in a fit of road rage today:

#breakingnew 🚨🚨Former Republican Congressman Madison Cawthorne who was tailgating me, just rear ended a FL State Trooper‼️ Im SHOOK 🤯😡😳 I was driving on i75S towards Miami in the left lane and this black tinted sports car was tailgating me relentlessly. I accelerated ahead… pic.twitter.com/IfS2EUg1oC

— Alethea⸆⸉ (@Women2Dc) April 15, 2024

If that tweet doesn't load for you, here's the text:

Former Republican Congressman Madison Cawthorne who was tailgating me, just rear ended a FL State Trooper‼️ Im SHOOK 🤯😡😳 I was driving on i75S towards Miami in the left lane and this black tinted sports car was tailgating me relentlessly. I accelerated ahead and moved to the right lane in front of a tractor trailer to let the car by. 5 mins later the highway comes to a complete stop, I swerve to the side so no one rear ends me and slow to a halt. Suddenly the car door opens and a man in a wheelchair rolls out. At the same moment I have to navigate around his car and I look ahead to see the officer exiting from his rear ended vehicle holding his neck in the left lane as well. I pulled over to the right shoulder lane and stopped to ask if everyone was ok and to offer assistance. I couldnt believe my eyes. It occured to me that former CONGRESSMAN CAWTHORNE from NC was the black CAR that stormed by me in an angry road rage tantrum. I spoke to the cop to see if he was ok as he was quite stunned & kept reaching for his neck. He said he was ok, asked if I was a witness, (I wasnt, I must have been 30 seconds behind) and I gave them water as i didnt know what else to do after he thanked me for stopping.

As I drove away & replayed the surreal scene in my head I realized it was the same car who was erratically & aggressively driving behind & then around me. Unbelievably scary & upsetting to see 🥺

(Happened at 4:32pm heading South on i75 towards Miami around the Big Cypress Reservation)

I was wondering what became of him (but not enough to google it)

And him being an asshole driver is about right.

His eyepatch didn't help.

That’s a jock strap

Florida Wheelchair Man

lol checking court records to see if he was cited

lol the Broward County clerk of court is supposedly "exceeding reCAPTCHA quota"

BREAKING: Clarence Thomas was in the car with Cawthorne, current whereabouts unknown

21st Century OJ & AC

do chaired ppl drive cars from their chairs, so can just roll out when you stop

Jeez, brilliant move:

I'd completely missed this new completely cynical alliance in the making https://t.co/IkJEVE99su

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) April 16, 2024

(Saying that about whoever coordinated it, not the guy saying it)

take the last train to schnecksville

"Genocide Joe" scans nicely with "Suicide Blonde."

Seeking leniency at sentencing, Jan 6 defendant Israel Easterday’s attorney argues Easterday “did not fully understand” the Confederate flag he carried amid mob. And he acknowledges Easterday deployed chemical spray at police

Yeah, they should totally show leniency, based on the legal premise of "my bad."

Over a year old but still lol: Capitol rioter's lawyer cites work as his 'family's primary cow milker' as proof he's not a threat.

https://www.rawstory.com/capitol-rioter-2659208256/

I have had two people today wonder aloud why traffic is so bad in lower manhattan and if there is an “event” so we’re all doomed is what im saying

“That’s TODAY?” They ask, amazed.

Well, we're the only nerds following this shit.

didn't realize the trial was gonna be around 6 weeks long and that Trump is required to stay for all of it...even if nothing comes of this that's pretty significant and is gonna turn him into more of a whiny bitch than he already is