thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

the ayatollah, Putin and the CCP did a good thing!

they at least did the funniest thing

Better if they helped us get rid of the lot of them, cancer mum and all.

Obv. the Great British Public (GBP) would never invent these dumbshit stories by themselves, yes it must have been Bad Foreign Actors attempting to destabilise the very stable nation of Britain

LOL that is such a blatant "it wasnt me" deflection from the shitty UK press.

King Charles has spoken of his "great sadness" at missing the traditional Maundy Thursday service.

The King is not attending public events while he has treatment for cancer but recorded a message that was played at the service at Worcester Cathedral.

Queen Camilla was instead at the service, where she handed out Maundy money.

In his message, the King reaffirmed his coronation pledge "not to be served, but to serve" with "my whole heart".

He praised those who "extend the hand of friendship, especially in a time of need".

He added: "It is for me a great sadness that I cannot be with you today."

The number of recipients of Maundy Money matches the age of the monarch - so 75 men and women will receive this symbolic gift.

The King's message, recorded in mid-March, included a Bible reading and a call that as a nation: "We need and benefit greatly from those who extend the hand of friendship to us, especially in a time of need."

audio-only message recorded a couple of weeks ago u say, king charles iii (regnal name george vii) is surely in fine fettle

AI voice scams are on the increase I hear

"Queen Camilla was instead at the service, where she handed out Maundy money"

this maundy money bullshit goes back to Edward I, they all went to hell for various reasons but surely hijacking a holy day mass to put on some bs ceremony of monarchical generosity that has as much to do with christian Easter as cadbury's creme eggs is amply disrespectful enough for a ticket to hell.

They all spill out onto the high street after to be confronted by endless signs saying "Maundy Money not accepted here"

I mean it's the Church of England for a reason

Maunday money (bah-da bah-da-da-da)
So good to me (bah-da bah-da-da-da)

after Jesus cleansed the temple he told those lads to fuck off, he didn't say well I guess you can hand out fake money to make yourself look good if you want to!

wait it's not real money?

I don't like maundys

Just another manic maundy?

They always get me down

wait it's not real money?

Being an ignorant lout of an American, I looked up Maundy money in wikipedia and discovered:

the British monarch or a royal official ceremonially distributes small silver coins known as "Maundy money" (legally, "the King's Maundy money") as symbolic alms to elderly recipients. The coins are technically legal tender, but typically do not circulate due to their silver content and numismatic value.

SO, this is one of those weird holdovers like touching for "the King's evil" See:
https://history.rcplondon.ac.uk/blog/touching-kings-evil-short-history

when William's king they're going to modernise it and hand out £15 Playstation Network cards

they're ceremonial coins, the US also does this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_commemorative_coins

i image most states do tbh

why not gelt, at least you can eat that

im sure you could sell the coin, but maybe you want to keep it, as a keepsake

or launch them at William's ugly slaphead next time he cries at an FA cup final cos all those nasty scousers are booing the national anthem.

These fucking ppl

it's ok bud they're all dead now

rip big family

thoughts and prayers

Less than two months after Buckingham Palace confirmed King Charles III was diagnosed with cancer, sources exclusively reveal to In Touch that the king is battling pancreatic cancer and has been given two years to live.

While the royal family has kept tight-lipped about the specifics of Charles’ illness, including the type of cancer he has, a source exclusively confirms to In Touch that the king’s diagnosis is known to be an open secret among royal staffers.

“Many courtiers believe Charles’ cancer is worse than they’re making it out to be,” a second insider adds. “Even before the diagnosis, there were concerns about his health."

come on i can't wait two years for an extra bank holiday

Ouch, that's one of the worst cancers to get iirc

What's In Touch?

^ out of touch

2 years might be optimistic - it is usually incurable and when the end comes it comes quickly

He might even win some sympathy over this. Too bad he has such a grossly unsympathetic personality. The problem with being heir to a throne is it leads to an all-pervasive sense of entitlement.

er

What's _In Touch_?

sorry that was a typo, it was supposed to read According to Zing Touch…

It's time for a return to old-style king-naming. I look forward to the reign of King William the Bald.

ivar the boneless and olaf the flashy
were a very notorious couple of kings

Harald Bluetooth would often stay rooted to the same spot in his great hall

Ivar the Boneless one of the few monarchs to have a KFC meal deal named in his honour

don’t forget æthelred the zinger tower

Pancreatic cancer was the same thing that killed Steve jobs. Charles seems like the kind of person to try the same treatment (nuts and berries etc).

nuts and buried morelike

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/D192/production/_133305635_455d3b68-e998-4cf5-9718-93c5e8b093d1.jpg

The first official painted portrait of King Charles III since his coronation has been unveiled at Buckingham Palace.

The vast oil on canvas shows a larger-than-life King Charles in the uniform of the Welsh Guards.
The vivid red work, measuring about 8ft 6in by 6ft 6in, is by Jonathan Yeo, who has also painted Tony Blair, Sir David Attenborough and Malala Yousafzai.

Queen Camilla is said to have looked at the painting and told Yeo: "Yes, you've got him."

King Vigo the Charlespathian III

i think it will be nice when it's finished

King Charles at the base of a crucifixion.

fellas is it ominous to have your portrait shrouded in a blood-red wash

fuck off flattering portraitist to the rich, Jonathan Yeo. He's much balder than that and your paintings suck.

the subtle touch of a monarch butterfly about to land on his shoulder, presumably just after vacating the shoulder of the queen as she passed away

the bloated, anatomically wrong looking hands reveal that this Yeo dude was always shit at life drawing and is incapable of observing the human form.

not that he is dealing with a human form here!