thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

eh whatever it's smithers holding a gun to tom jones

come on, the man has to take care of three photoshopped children all on his own now

I properly laughed at this.

It just takes some time
Even though Kate Middleton just had to die
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright

Buckingham Palace hiring £25k communications assistant as scrutiny continues into royal handling of Kate Middleton rumours https://t.co/ifcrQuCVkq

— LBC (@LBC) March 20, 2024

£25K pa in London? You would have to supplement your income by, I don't know, selling stories to the press?

— Frank Kelly (@frantechno) March 20, 2024

do they not already employ many pr people? whats going on here

I can think of a quick, easy and free way to solve this PR disaster. Or at least it would be quick, easy and free if she were not dead.

It's hard not to view these rumors as the online version of those beach balls that get bounced around by crowds in stadiums and arenas. When the game or the show gets too boring the beach balls get more active.

Tbf, it's more like one of those cases where beach balls have been thrown from the stage to encourage said behavior.

its just a nice thing who doesnt like hitting beach ball

from way over here on the west coast of North America the idea that this latest fiasco was a poorly handled public relations disaster completely overlooks the fact that the entire royal family has been a public relations disaster for at least three decades and the anti-royal sentiment being expressed atm is a permanent feature of life in the UK, not a thing they can suppress through a cannier PR strategy

whoops

So, due to the #KateGate / #WhereIsKate missing Kate Middleton / Princess of Wales #Katespiracy drama, lots of people around the world have increased interest in Rose Hanbury and her mysterious connection to Prince William.

Unfortunately, people in China looked a little too… pic.twitter.com/sGTfoIzkro

— Grannybelly 🌕 (@sugabelly) March 19, 2024

The opium trade surely to be the next major crime of the British Empire to come under scrutiny - and not before time.

fuckin hell never knew the british stole stuff

this changes everything

I'm in favour of getting us all hooked on opium, hopefully it will make reparations go down a bit easier

god look at those fucking parasites

Using AI to make their necks even more choppable. They’re laughing at us

a new opium craze might help put a dent in this whole fentanyl thing, it's a healthier alternative

if Britain is to cede a territory to the CCP in this hypothetical lost Opium War 2.0 then I'm moving there, even if it's fucking Norwich. I'll take my chances with the social credit system and a firewalled internet as long as I can get a dentist.

Isle of Wight plus Hayling Island, Portsmouth, Gosport and everything up to the river Hamble, Southampton can be Shenzen

Seems fair, we stole Hong Kong off them after all.

word reaches me that ‘at 6 pm there is going to be an announcement that a famous person has cancer and has received treatment’

start yr speculations here

Ben 10

Ben X surely?

Get well soon Paddington

it's Kate

The Princess of Wales has disclosed that she has been diagnosed with cancer and is in the early stages of receiving chemotherapy treatment.

In a statement recorded at Windsor by the BBC, Catherine said her condition had been discovered after she had major abdominal surgery in January.

After weeks of speculation about her health, Catherine said she and her husband, Prince William, had needed time to explain the situation to their three children, George, 10, Charlotte, eight, and Louis, five.

so was that her at the garden centre or not

Looked a bit peely-wally to me.

I mean, in the circs

I feel actual sympathy for her - she looks kinda gaunt

all this wild speculation and she's just very ill

That constituted a large part of the speculation afaict.

Not that I was paying much attention.

it just seemed like a lot of folks (americans, especially) were having a little too much fun with the whole thing

Well, you know, you have to grab a little fun wherever you can find it.

My perhaps controversial take (as an American, no less) is that it's cool to make fun of the royal family as a ridiculous and outdated concept, definitely cool to make fun of their personality quirks, very cool to make fun of the PR dumbness around that photoshopped picture, not cool to make fun of a mom with cancer.

Ok

Not noticed anyone doing that tbh.

Well, the photoshop gaffe was almost certainly an attempt to conceal her illness, so I'll let it slide

Oh, not here, to be clear!

Do we get a bank hols when she goes?

quietly updating my things its cool to make fun of spreadsheet

cool, glad to help. though tbh if you need to update a list to know not to make fun of cancer patients, you might be too far gone to help tbqh.

are you saying thats obvious

I don't know even more, I tossed my flip post in a thread full of flip posts but somehow it's the one getting taken seriously? have at it lads.

one can't make mr choppy jokes about the monarchy and then get all bent out of shape when one of them gets cancer

god is doing your dirty work for you

lmao

Funny deaths: fall into an open manhole, hit by a bus, crushed by avalanche, struck by lightning, eaten by bear/crocodile/shark (but only if entirely consumed)
Unfunny deaths: cancer, hit by drunk driver, beaten to death by spouse