Worst TV adverts of the moment

Dairy Milk ad is a hit with me purely for the AIRPORT VEHICLES ARE AWESOME angle

i went out and bought several this morning

one is also a number. You can say "one sugar" right?

If you treat 'sugar' as a countable noun (where it's short for 'one spoonful of sugar' or 'one lump of sugar') then they should really be saying "Zero sugars".

u bought several airport vehicles this morning?

Also hate "... why go compare somewhere else?" I wouldn't "go compare" anywhere, thank you very much.

All Direct Line Insurance slo-mo Zabriskie Point ripoff ads.

the energy drink commercial that promises "zero sugar." zero is a number; it is not grammatically the same as "no." it's like saying "two sugar."

signed,
one pedant

We need a zero tolerance policy against this kind of thing.

isnt that an FDA thing, where they can say "zero," but not "no"?

like its a small enough amount to technically qualify as "zero," like with trans fats

All Direct Line Insurance slo-mo Zabriskie Point ripoff ads.

Yes, horribly pretentious and grating.

I love the EastEnders Bianca Jackson Five ad/promo, but everytime I watch it I'm heart-broken when Phil fails to add a 'tell me that you love me' (or somesuch) when he walks past. It's just as the music pauses for a split second and would have ruled so much.

Personally I'm heartbroken that Phil fails to open fire with his Kalashnikov on the lot of them when he walks past but that's just me.

I would take even Sheila's Wheels over Biancacophonix. Mercy.

Ever so slightly off-topic (esp as I haven't seen it advertised), but Cadburys Flake Dipped would appear to be the exact same product as Cadburys Twirl. After emailing Cadburys to ask if this was the case, this is the totally enlightening response:
----
Cadbury Flake Dipped has been launched in response to requests from
Flake consumers for a form of their favourite bar that they could
enjoy whenever and wherever they are. The Flake Dipped product was
designed to meet their needs, with a light and delicate centre that
crumbles with every bite. Flake consumers are commonly female, 18-50,
who are looking for an indulgent treat.

Cadbury Twirl was launched in 1987. Its densely compacted centre and
twin-fingered format suit its role as a chocolate energy hit. It has
its own set of loyal consumers, who are often young males, under 30,
who are typically looking for a product that gives them the energy to
keep going through the day.

Extensive consumer research was undertaken to investigate the role of
these chocolate products, and this demonstrated that the two products
appeal to two different types of consumers and each of these is
looking for a different chocolate experience. Many consumers are
aware that both these products exist, but few regularly buy both.

Cadbury is committed to offering consumers a choice of products, and
both Twirl and Flake Dipped products will continue to be available
from a wide range of retailers.

We do value feedback and comments from our consumers and I have
passed your comments onto the Flake Brand Manager for his information.
------

Eh?

haha

I'll never understand the gender-based marketing of chocolate.

It's like Sheila's Wheels.

They want to attract women car drivers, as they have been seen to be both the most careful drivers, and more likely not to claim on insurance for smaller accidents.

But they aren't allowed to only accept female applications, that'd be sexist.

So, they make a product that is unattractive to boy racers.

Respect to Cadbury's for being so candid.

You should read David Foster Wallace's short story about confectionery market research.

I wonder if the person who responded with the email talks like that in real life?

Clearly they see language as a tool.

But they aren't allowed to only accept female applications, that'd be sexist

They aren't? What about Diamond and other insurers where that was an explicit condition of their cover?

Well, OK I was assuming...

But the ads don't exactly say "only girls", in fact they suggest that an okker in a pink dress could pass muster...

Mark how does this model translate to chocolate tho?

Well, to attract women, make something that appeals 'exclusively' to women, and vice versa. Men get attracted to 'masculine' chocolate, and vice versa. Whereas both men and women don't get as attracted together to 'neuter' chocolate.

Well, you asked.

We now need to apply genders to Britains fave chocolate products.

Malteasers - Female
Snickers - Male

etc

The VW ad that has the guy using his keyless remote to scare a couple away from the car he's already bought is my latest hate-on ad.

WTF with all these ads where the main message is "people who buy/use this product are repulsive jackasses?"

Crunchie, female
Toffee Crisp, male (and a scruffy one at that)

WTF with all these ads where the main message is "people who buy/use this product are repulsive jackasses?"

Think there's a simple demographic answer to this one.

hooray

Because Maltesers remind women of chocolate bollocks amirite???

i hope that isn't a racial slur on howard brown

I was at the gym watching TV from afar when I first saw that bewildering Woolworths ad. I was like LOL that guy looks like a Woolworths version of Jackie Chan.. then I watched it for reals and :(

I just don't get who these ads are meant to appeal to?

Also, that fucking Kenco ad with the two sacks makes no sense. We don't even see any beans going into both of the two sacks let alone be given enough information to deduce that they are the same beans. Also if they are the same then why have two sacks marked "Instant" and "ground and roast"? I think they are LYING!

So many car adverts that look like a computer graphics grad project right now. I hate the one where the car's being tossed around a horrible industrial estate by the buildings. And the other car ad that could only appeal to terrifying teutonic yuppies with genocide fantasies, but of course it's not because there's a lame joke at the end of the ad.

from that Halifax ad news story:

..and a waxwork model of Brown was exhibited in Madame Tussauds.

are they fucking kidding us?

Thierry Henry, Tiger Woods and the tennis bloke (whose name esacpes me right now) who are all good pals who like nothing more than a good shave and never even think about yesterday. Grrrrr.

The Pot Noodle "Put the pan down" advert can fuck off as well.

The advert with the chef guy making the beat with the repetition of 'Sha' 'cla' or whatever he says. It's annoying but kinda funny too.

Always irritated by that accident insurance ad where the woman informs us that "... the floor was wet with no warning signs". Huh? Whussat?

So many car adverts that look like a computer graphics grad project right now.

That one where they use some desperately uninteresting box of a car as a skateboard. So shit. And that one where the car is doing acrobatics off skyscrapers etc - total vertigo nightmare, that one. Ugh.

i've noticed a lot more adverts liks to show cars getting smashed up these days

"It seems to me..." that james dyson could be fixing important problems rather than the steering on vacuumn cleaners (which nobody but him is complaining about anyway)

The Samsung ad with the Chelsea players and ...Donna Air. Most conceptually vapid ad ever and looks like it took 3 minutes to make.

And it's not an ad, but the Gordon Ramsay Braveheart trailer. The sound quality is really bad and I can't tell what he says before and after the chefs run down the hill.

the pepsi max(?) ad, which seems to be random people in street picking a footballer and a plot point. the thing ends up as a mess.

the singing worm on that compost ad.

Ha, was about to say about the Pepsi Max ad - clearly none of the footy players featured have had to be in the same room at any moment during filming. Even at the 'party' at the end.

the pepsi max(?) ad, which seems to be random people in street picking a footballer and a plot point. the thing ends up as a mess

Yeah, that one sucks.

The moment of genius in that pepsi ad is that Fat Frank is only seen very briefly, but is EATING.

"I'm going to beeee a
choc'late di-ge-stive
choc choccy choc-cy
hn hn hn nhnnnn nuh"

Has me reaching for projectiles to launch at the telly. It's so grating. aghh

For reference:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY5cE2KNqC8&feature=related

you'd think they'd regard the mcvities factory as something akin to auschwitz

http://www.visit4info.com/advert/02-Move-to-O2-Broadband-for-a-Happy-Home-O2/59181

Is your broadband making your home unhappy?