Poll: what's the worst part of getting old?

i don’t know, i guess i think that such stuff is surely evidence that we live in a hell of sorts, but the question is: who is making it so that being the contemporary version of a yegg needs to exist at all?

basically: is crime real? aren’t all jobs scams? i tend to actually think so, but that’s just me.

Any online resources for wills, health care power of attorney, advance directives and that sort of thing that anyone here recommends? My wife and I have been rattled by a sudden death in the extended family and we need to get this shit sorted. Dying intestate seems like a very bad idea.

https://getyourshittogether.org/ from the author of What Matters Most.

WmC are you Georgia? I don't remember because worst part of getting old for me is adjusting to estrogen deprivation.

Not really something that's been listed, but it links to the underemployment thread, in that I can feel there is an increasing lack of security, coupled with a lack of energy to fight this because the body and mind are decaying, which isn't as much of a case when you are young.

I'd list it on the poll as "growing old poor".

i think thats where reduced energy levels cover a gamut of evils

i had too much candy, and instead of just feeling kinda bad, i got gout.

@quincie, I'm in Mississippi.

scampering alpaca, thanks for that link.

The reduced energy levels are getting quite obvious to me this year. Napping more often.

Any online resources for wills, health care power of attorney, advance directives and that sort of thing that anyone here recommends?

As an estate planning lawyer, I recommend you do not use an online resource. Spend the money to get an actual human lawyer who specializes in estate planning where you are. DIY wills are great for me, because I get to fix/litigate them after the fact, but they are not so good for the family.

😬

I've not cracked 40, and it's certainly part and parcel of the life I've led thus far, but the worst part is how many friends of mine have died. Found out about another today. Bummed.

No need for atty to do medical POA, just do this one with two witnesses to the signatures: https://www.umc.edu/news/Miscellaneous/2019/April/April%20CONSULT/UMMC_Advance_Healthcare_Directive.pdf

get durable financial atty at same time you do will

financial POA I mean

the worst part is how many friends of mine have died. Found out about another today. Bummed.

I hear you on this. I went a long portion of my life not having ever known too many, but now, it's like shit, everyone's dying these days.

Where you sit back and think of a funny memory, then go, "and at least two of those fellas are dead now."

the best part of getting old for me as an economically inactive individual receiving assistance is that I don't have to worry about my estate because it is so worthless it will all just end up in a yellow skip. After seeing how some of my family degenerated into a inheritance savages crabs-in-a-bucket fite to over a bought 3 bed council house before the poor cancer stricken auntie had even passed, having absolutely fuck all seems clean and good.

the worst part is how many friends of mine have died. Found out about another today. Bummed.

Yeah, my last post on this thread was about how hard it is losing people, and I've lost some more since then. Had one old friend just die in her mid-50s of a heart attack (almost certainly related to her severe long COVID, which she'd been dealing with for three years). Another friend, probably 10 years younger than me, took her life about six months ago. Facebook just reminded me of her birthday yesterday. I know it is literally inevitable, but it is still always very sad. Just today I walked past a little memorial downtown that I hadn't noticed, to a federal judge who died of cancer a few years ago. I actually knew and socialized with her and her husband, because I worked with him. There are actually memorial benches and markers around town for several of my friends, the landscape literally marked by loss.

Sorry for your loss, table.

(And yours, tipsy!)

Yeah, health care powers/directives are very standardized, but vary greatly from state to state. Financial powers of attorney often have specific execution requirements (witness, notary, etc.), and some require specific language if, for example, you want to make them durable (i.e., effective during your incapacity). These documents are a negligible cost component from my perspective, but are very important.

Where you sit back and think of a funny memory, then go, "and at least two of those fellas are dead now."

Last year lost an old buddy/roommate to fentanyl... A Gen Xer like myself, he grew up in a small coastal NorCal town (rhymes with 'spendecino') with three other skater/punker dudes that I knew personally through the scene. All four are gone now, and pretty sure drugs/booze was the cause of all four deaths. It ain't just Appalachia

after half of my friends died from AIDS between 1983-1996 in their 20s-40s, I don’t think I can ever be surprised about experiencing death again

Spend the money to get an actual human lawyer who specializes in estate planning where you are.

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, September 5, 2023

agree with this completely.

As I get older, I can tell the weather is changing because I get these little cuts on my fingers and thumbs. They're tiny nicks, really, usually where the nail meets the skin at either edge of the digit. The thing is, they interfere with all sorts of finicky tasks (typing, tying a tie etc) and, as such, I'm constantly widening the cut or reopening them. They also seem to hurt an inordinate amount for what they are, the fuckers.

This year, the first cuts appeared in September ffs. Soon, I'm going to be one big open wound 3/4 of the year.

I hate that so much. Reaching into my pocket is the worst. I just end up with bandages on all my fingers.

Hah, yes! I might have to start wearing a suite of thimbles.

My wife gets those. I mostly get super dry skin on my knuckles in cold weather, which eventually cracks and bleeds. But I've been getting it less in Montana than I used to in NJ and I'm not sure whether the change in elevation is a factor, or what.

A guess, but probably a change in humidity?

xp to self: see if Joanna Newsome wants to borrow 'suite of thimbles' for an album title.

That happened to me on my thumb last year and it just refused to heal so i soaked my thumb in warm salt water regularly until it healed. bandages were not an option longterm.

get you some O'Keeffe's Working Hands cream and apply it nightly for a couple of weeks

Yeah, as obvious and boring as it sounds, moisturize moisturize moisturize. (I hate those little fingertip splits so much.)

I use E45 on my eczema breakouts on both my arse and my face. I don't if it is actually technically eczema on my face, but I get dry irritated skin around my eyes and it becomes itchy and turns into an eye rubbing nightmare if I don't get on top of it quick.

I get cracked heels and it sucks. My natural tendency is to run around barefoot, and I hate any kind of lotion. But now I wear socks around the house and put gross goop on my feet and I hate it.

i became a lotion freak after working at a lotion store for a few years— my skin looks shockingly good for someone my age who used to smoke. lotion and moisturizer are the way.

Yeah I've added face/forehead moisturizing to my daily routine after decades of not thinking about it. If I don't, the skin gets really dry within a day or two. That aging epidermis just doesn't take care of itself like it used to.

One of my favorite life lessons I remember was in a gym locker room in my 20s. There was a guy in I'd guess his early 60s happily slathering lotion on his feet. He saw me noticing and grinned and said, "Gotta get 20 more years out of these feet." That may be the first time I'd thought about the body in such a concrete, time-limited way.

Gym locker room guy OTM

I’ve noticed that my skin feels drier and drier as I age - gotta find a good, dependable body butter product and lock myself into the habit of regular use.

Ugh, hate all goops. I won’t use lip goo until my lips are cracked and bleeding.

Ideally, my skin would always be as dry as wasp wings. The lotion I use on my feet is in stick form so I don’t have to get it on my hands. My wife gave me some more liquidy goo for my feet and she caught me squeezing it out onto my heels and awkwardly rubbing my feet together so I wouldn’t have to touch it with my hands. She called me a big baby.

Yeah I’m team hate all goop.

https://i.imgur.com/7gCPYSV.jpg

HI DERE

Gym locker room guy OTM

Since 2019 I've had three different basal cell carcinomas frozen off of my head. Do that enough times and you'll finally wear a hat outside and use the goop when necessary. When Southern California gets super-dry, my feet dry out and crack like black canyons - gotta take care of that constantly.

I have a kneejerk "get over it" reaction to "I don't like it" as an excuse for not-doing something that needs to be done. Guess what, it's not up to you to like or dislike. Either moisturize your skin or see what happens when you don't. That is the choice. No one, including your skin, cares whether you like it or not.

The list of things you have to/must do that you may not like will continue to grow as you age so it's best to give in now to the simple things like moisturizing your skin imo.

(Note: the "i don't like it" excuse was very popular among my parents and I have seen what it did to them, hence my triggered reaction to "I don't like it")

I just had three basal cell carcinomas carved out my torso, arm and forehead (losing part of my eyebrow) this year! I now keep a wide-brimmed floppy archeologist's hat in the TJ's bag that I carry with me and use it whenever I'm in the sun.

xp Wait, when the hell did my wife join ILX?

Your skin looking at your anti-goop propaganda

https://townsquare.media/site/442/files/2016/02/Gwyneth-Paltrow-Iron-Man.jpg

I developed a mild case of eczema on my legs a few years ago, and started moisturizing for the first time in my life on the advice of the dermatologist. It's been transformative.

Yeah sorry sensory issues with creams and lotions can be anywhere from mildly unpleasant to excruciating. I’m sure some people can just get over it, but for others, not so simple. But I guess we’ll learn our lesson in the end!