Cricket

Honestly, those fuckwit members in the long room. You would do more for the 'spirit of the game' if you staked them all out, covered them in bacon and left them to the wasps and herring gulls.

seeing as the series is done as a competition then extreme levels of spite are just what it needs

and that's why I never make any profit from cricket betting!

I am frantically trying to find a way to bet on Ben Stokes getting dismissed by Mankad at Headingley.

Anyway, this is all very funny and highly amusing.

I couldn't find any odds on the England team plumbing new depths of the victim playing British "fair play" delusion.

still don't know why Australia are getting booed, what have they done wrong?

To Johnny Bairstow too, hero of right wing wankers everywhere.

Gotta laugh. No spinners, dropped catches, crazy hour shot selection. Quite a philosophy!

if they don't win this one, don't throw Bazball in the bin but maybe consider a few of the batsmen

if you took Stokes considerable batting contribution out of the Bazball equation for this Ashes it would just look like an abandonment of tactics and all focus would be on some of the careless braindead ways the rest of them cheaply gift wickets to the Aussies. But it has been a lot of fun!

crawling towards Bazlam

I knew all the heckling would pay off

we just need another champion spell leading into Old Trafford

and to drop Bairstow

bairstow does need to go. v strange test, those first two innings entirely wrapped around two batsmen and a couple of maurahding bowlers.

I was expecting rain this afternoon, both the MET office and BBC weather got it wrong. Bairstow has been useless, his only indirect contribution was that the confected sense of injustice around his idiotic stumping seemed to have the knock on effect of wakening the beast in Stokes.

that was an intense last 100-ish runs to watch live, i have a ton of thoughts about the distraction that is Bazball but not now. Bairstow is screaming to be dropped by almost any metric

frankly just looking forward to McGrath having to switch his shtick to "4-1"

There's roughly 0% chance of them dropping Bairstow. They should, at the very least, take the gloves off him. I think tbf with regards to the wicketkeeping stuff, he's not kept for about 3 years and to be chucked in like this is pretty unforgiving.

absolutely agree, he's a talisman ffs. that might say something about whether the current regime is about winning or about something else, but that's not new to England either

lots of TMS chat this week has been about relieving him of the awful burden of having to be a functional wickie but that just amplifies my sense of special pleading

I think he did enough last summer for him to get the benefit of the doubt tbh. Not with the gloves tho.

His batting average while keeping is woeful.

youse won't drop Bairstow like we won't drop Warner so it'll all equal out

blaze em

Adam Zampa's setup for the first Major League Cricket game. 10/10, no notes. pic.twitter.com/9bTiINzwbS

— 7Cricket (@7Cricket) July 14, 2023

I know nothing about cricket but I’m pissed I didn’t think of that screen name first!

Where is your 'Bazball morelike shiteball' now lads

I had a specific point which was nuanced and the concept of Bazball is ugh on purpose

However, it's been a good day I've been able to sit and watch for a change and the main thrill is watching England playing against the weekend's potential weather

When Bazball beats the English weather then talk to me.

Bazball is the enemy of thought is my big ish

I can barely believe this is happening. Someone on 5 live just said England haven't been 300+ for 2 in a match against the Aussies since 1985.

When Bazball beats the English weather then talk to me.

Or wins the Ashes.

Haven't watched much cricket since it went over to Sky 15+ years ago but reading about yesterday and you can't help but think this is the country we live in. A son of a banker playing a gambling one-off innings. Liew talks it up. I want it torn down.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2023/jul/20/zakball-comes-home-as-crawley-rewards-englands-indulgence-in-style

he didn't play wildly, it's a slow-looking track and there's a good chance they'll lose a lot of the weekend so they're watching the clock

England are going to win the Ashes 3-2 this year, I can feel it.

Liew hardly talks it up. The key line in his article is "imagine, by way of a thought experiment, if a player such as Ravi Bopara had received the same kind of love and indulgence that Crawley has enjoyed."

I was looking at the conclusion. But yes there is an ambivalence to it.

"When it fails, of course it reeks of decadence. But when it works, the returns can be stupendous."

England are going to win the Ashes 3-2 this year, I can feel it.

Yes, the momentum is definitely swinging their way, the Aussies (Cummins especially) look as if they've have lost their nerve.

130 ahead. Declare at lunch or just before. They'll need to roll the Aussies this afternoon.

Might get 1.5-2 sessions on Sunday so it really comes down to today.

From The Guardian:

"Stef B writes in. “This amazing cricket has made me yearn for the good old days, when us in the UK could watch it live on TV, free of charge. I would walk back quickly from school and turn BBC2 on and enjoy the play. Any chance it comes back? Have a fair dinkum day.”

Strewth, cobbber. Zero chance, I’m afraid. The ECB is entirely dependent on Sky money now, nothing would happen without it."

Shame the Saudis aren't interested in test cricket this dick could've worked up a bit of outrage about it.

It's impressive nonetheless. Barstow 99 not out. Eng 275 ahead. Aus should be demoralised, we'll see.

To use a good Scottish word, Australia have been absolutely mollocated today.

Updated met office forecast has rain all Day tomorrow and Sunday now.

Australia will retain the Ashes.

Shame that this is how it looks like it's ending. Just needed one more session..

Kind of hilarious how the Aussies are crawling along at barely over two an over after England bazballing themselves out after 55 overs.

Whatever @stuartbroad8 did, it worked! 👀#BBCCricket #Ashes pic.twitter.com/InV6MSKQXF

— Test Match Special (@bbctms) July 28, 2023

Haha fuck McGrath there.

that Smith not out call sounded like proper close as fuck forensic CSI shit from the umpire.

I’m sure I’ve seen calls like that given out so many times in the past that I assumed as long as you had the ball in your hand it counted.

The only good thing about the Ashes ending is not having to listen to Jim Maxwell. McGrath isn't exactly the most gripping summarizer either.

the cricket stats guy has a really irritating voice. Here is an interesting stat for you m8. 3-1