i saw mommy kissing santos (george)

they got mixed up due to a diabolical glitch in the Santoverse

Santos is my Congressperson. I voted for one of the more progressive candidates because Zimmerman seemed like a total DNC hack.

― Unfairport Convention (PBKR), Wednesday, February 1, 2023 9:43 PM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

thanks PBKR

― forbidden fruit salad (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, February 1, 2023 9:46 PM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

Sorry :(

Otoh, I don't think Santos will finish his term.

― Unfairport Convention (PBKR), Wednesday, February 1, 2023 9:50 PM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

Not that this required any sort of political prognostication. Dude is dumb and sloppy.

One of the things that was shocking when I read The Master of the Senate was how little money would buy a congressional race and I don't know who bought this one but someone did.

Santos indictment is 13 counts. pic.twitter.com/0QtyTREvm2

— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) May 10, 2023

can he count to 13

have to give a little respect to the man who knows how to diversify his revenue streams
(false unemployment claims, telling donors his company is a PAC/nonprofit and then buying luxury items)

The man does love his side hustles. I still hope there's more to come on his whole stealing puppies from Amish farmers and selling them as rescue dogs through his fake pet charity racket, would be a shame if that ends up just a footnote in the Santos saga: https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/2023/02/10/george-santos-amish-puppies/

e stealing puppies from Amish farmers and selling them as rescue dogs through his fake pet charity racket

This is still just so bonkers, it's like a C-story from "Seinfeld" or "Arrested Development" or something.

seems like straight up sociopathy can get you pretty far in american politics

I heard Santos has a degree in Sociopathy from Stanford.

So this is the clearest story I've read yet on all the shenanigans and...it's still complicated as hell.

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2023/05/george-santos-charged-criminal-case-doj.html

I had to do actual work for 20 years before I got a completely bullshit job in an entirely made-up industry.

It's not fair.

Why does someone like Santos just get handed shit, entire businesses whose "work" is amorphous vague buzzwords like "proactively leveraging synergies" or whatever?

What does any of it even MEAN? Like, do you go to work each day and sit at a desk and explore the investment potential of synergistic opportunities while proactively leveraging economies of scale in an agile environment from 8:00 to 4:30?

I'm completely serious. Like, literally, what is the shape of an actual work day of someone who "works" in this imaginary space? Is it meetings and phone calls? Do you have to read things? Send emails?

I readily admit that my own job is probably bullshit but the Santosverse seems to be a whole new level of bullshit where you just incorporate and money somehow just rolls in.

If it's that easy, why isn't everyone doing it? Like, why bother growing food or making shoes or writing vampire books or walking other people's dogs or painting houses or... anything, really?

If all you need to do is come up with a fancy-sounding name and get someone to file paperwork, then millions of dollars arrive...

you have to be a sociopath tbf

Maybe I should try that. It sounds easier than working.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYzBhNmQ4YmMtNDFiYi00NDkyLWE1ZTEtODNjYmY0ZjgzMzYyXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNTM3MDMyMDQ@._V1_.jpg

I'm completely serious. Like, literally, what is the shape of an actual work day of someone who "works" in this imaginary space? Is it meetings and phone calls? Do you have to read things? Send emails?

I readily admit that my own job is probably bullshit but the Santosverse seems to be a whole new level of bullshit where you just incorporate and money somehow just rolls in.

If it's that easy, why isn't everyone doing it? Like, why bother growing food or making shoes or writing vampire books or walking other people's dogs or painting houses or... anything, really?

If all you need to do is come up with a fancy-sounding name and get someone to file paperwork, then millions of dollars arrive...

Yeag Boring MD I kind of thought I had decent grift going because I can sit at a desk for a while each day, and then subsequently feed my children and pay my exorbitant mortgage.

But these Santos-esque dudes have taken it to a new level where they don't appear to need to do the first part. And not only do they get enough money to live on, they have enough left over to buy a seat in the U.S. freaking Congress?

Like, where is the line to get in on that shit because it sounds super chill: money, power, no work, and lots of cashmere sweaters. Sign me up plz

Yeah but a non-trivial number of them end up in jail

^^^

this is why the people who do this are sociopaths, you have to be a person who really thinks "consequences are for other people" and believes it to tolerate what would otherwise be the ego-fracturing pressure of living a con 24/7

I want to know about all the attempted grifts that failed. Was he using other name combinations and just emailing people with

"Hello Sir,

I am George Devolder, and I have an excellent investment opportunity. We have a nonprofit in Buenos Aires that connects underprivileged capybara owners in Uruguay with tiktokers in Florida."

He was apparently wining and dining clients at the same Queens restaurant that had all the suspicious campaign expenditures of exactly $199.99/

the man know how to acquire and spend money. he's the punch in the arm this economy needs

Leave capybaras out of it. They are innocent wonderful giant guinea pigs and I love them so.

oh and those amish dogs were guilty?

alsatian origins tbf

Money laundering is a hard gig to beat if you're not afraid of inviting the wrath of the feds and Los Zetas.

I feel like there are revelations to come about who's at the other end of his deals. Not necessarily anything mindblowing, more likely hilarious. Second-rate gangsters of assorted stripes.

This is a good read.

NEW: I spent months talking w/ George Santos for a potential documentary on him (my team eventually ditched the project when it was clear he wanted lots of $).

In our conversations Santos offered striking remarks on his scandals & a notable “Jewish” impression (audio below)…🧵

— Blake Zeff (@blakezeff) May 11, 2023

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2023/05/11/george-santos-brazil-case-theft/

RIO DE JANEIRO — Rep. George Santos signed a deal with Brazilian prosecutors Thursday in which the New York Republican confessed to theft and agreed to pay restitution and fines if prosecutors agree to drop the criminal case against him, bringing a likely resolution in a case that has tailed the embattled politician for more than a decade.

Santos appeared virtually Thursday afternoon at the criminal court hearing in the Rio suburb of Niterói, during which he was given 30 days to pay around $2,000 in fines and $2,800 to the victim. The case won’t be dismissed until the payments are made, court officials said.

Is there a GoFundMe for this?

Yea, from organizer Tony De Santolder

so this dude is basically an It's Always Sunny character? I mean he's contrived a bunch of insane, obviously stupid grifts which he never suffered any consequences for. except since this is reality and not a sitcom the schemes actually worked. getting arrested after winning a Congressional seat feels like a possible ending for the show too

there's definitely a madcap series to be made from it all. Who would be a good Santos?

Meryl Streep.

Harvey Guillén from WWDITS maybe?

^^ excellent choice

Lionel Hutz

Mr. Bean

Harvey Guillén from WWDITS maybe?

he plays Santos on Colbert

Rep George Santos (R-NY) returns to federal court on June 30

In the meantime ===> pic.twitter.com/ld9MRLMa4c

— Scott MacFarlane (@MacFarlaneNews) May 14, 2023

GOP Rep. George Santos' communications director Naysa Woomer has resigned, writing in a resignation email obtained by Scripps News that she's "honored" to quit and that the congressman "never took one point of professional advice."

lol anyone who agreed to work with him is a spineless grifter

Dying at "I'm honored to quit this job, man!"

Just the idea of volunteering for, donating to, or working for clowns of this type seems completely insane.

But to be fair I have done jobs that wouldn't make sense to anyone else because, well, I needed a job in that moment.

Given the current labor market I think we can all be more choosy.

it's kinda like responding to a classified ad "butthole cleaner needed - caution, very leaky", and then leaving the job cos you think it's 'too messy'

I hear Rudy needs a new assistant

it's kinda like responding to a classified ad "butthole cleaner needed - caution, very leaky", and then leaving the job cos you think it's 'too messy'

― the manwich horror (Neanderthal),

aka Manwich horror

lol

huge irl lol!

FLASH: Federal judge in New York has agreed to unseal records showing identities of the people who helped Rep. George Santos (R-NY) make $500,000 bond in his criminal fraud case

But judge keeps records sealed thru Friday to give Santos time to appeal in Eastern District of NY

— Scott MacFarlane (@MacFarlaneNews) June 6, 2023

Previously:

His defense argues the three people who helped provide Santos' bond "are likely to suffer great distress, may lose their jobs, and God forbid, may suffer physical injury."

"There is little doubt that the suretors will suffer some unnecessary form of retaliation if their identities and employment are revealed," Santos' motion also said. It closed with the declaration, "My client would rather surrender to pretrial detainment than subject these suretors to what will inevitably come."