thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

Yeah, it's a parody account but eminently believable with all the other dumb shit going on today

often the UK parody stuff seems very close to real

The phrase "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch" is trending over here and I can immediately guess why.

Please let it be because someone threw a hand grenade at the royals while I was out at the shops.

Charles' magic Cloak of Power protected him iirc

In the (well advised) absence of a Celtic game to day, it was up to Hibs fans to carry on the good work.

Easter Rd message to the Royal parasites #GGTTH pic.twitter.com/ta3yzv3CzX

— Kevin Williamson (@williamsonkev) May 6, 2023

James Connolly himself would be proud of the old Hibees.

Hibs fans banner this afternoon pic.twitter.com/WV6ncrIONV

— Patrick McPartlin (@p_mcpartlin) May 6, 2023

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRN4xcPTS_M

The fucker looks like a VAR decision has just gone against him and he knows it's going to cost him his job pic.twitter.com/DUgtx1dtiY

— Peter (@pickyouredge) May 7, 2023

He's looked about 40 from the age of 3 onwards.

I haven't watched this with the sound on.

Did they think we wouldn’t see this?!
In return for Katy Perry & Lionel Richie agreeing to perform at the coronation concert, Charles & Camilla had to do a turn on American Idol.

Desperate stuff. Cringe me a river 😬😬😂#Coronation #notmykingorqueen

pic.twitter.com/GL2IfF2IGP

— Snow (@Lookinupatstars) May 8, 2023

He's got cancer btw.

I have to say I honestly hope he doesn't die, as it would simply be too much of a pain in the arse right now

No he is cancer.

He's got some of that rescue remedy, should clear it up

A "form of cancer", to be precise.

Tumorregnum

i expect this will have subdued media coverage and i won't hear anything else about it for months

Anglicancer

Interested to see if he’s going to treat it with homeopathy tbh

let's hope so, we'll get another bank holiday

Btw I thought of Tumorregnum first, then Anglicancer, then Cancerbury Cathedral, then Saxe-Coburg and Goiter, then the Royal House of Tumor.

Of these, I don't think I can improve on Anglicancer.

But Royal House of Tumor has potential. Thoughts welcome.

Pray for the Regal Colon

One more bank hol!

God save our gracious :
May it not become a ;

Sorry that's one more day off because of the extra coronation

his grandad had the right idea - stay in the pink, with ciggies and drink. If I was his doctor I'd prescribe him 30 cigarettes and a bottle of Glenlivet a day.

rip big man, heaven needed a sausage-fingered racist

Live: View of Buckingham Palace after King Charles cancer diagnosis announced
https://t.co/dIDxnlYUAQ

— The Independent (@Independent) February 5, 2024

Can't wait to go through all of this again 🤩

pls tell me someone left an alf

better start queuing

Okay maybe we need to keep him on a... wait for it.. short reign

I agree with all those world leaders who are wishing him a speedy recovery ... so I don't have to listen to this fucking shite 24/7 for the next God knows how long.

The best thing these people can do is die so we can have more coronation holidays.

Then we'll get William, who's likely to live for another 60 years and who most people prefer to his unpleasant wanker of a father.

He'll be murdered.

By Harry.

Going to be a real letdown if this guy lives for another 15-20 years

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nepalese_royal_massacre

(xp) William's exact words on hearing the news.

A government-appointed inquiry team named Crown Prince Dipendra as perpetrator of the massacre. Dipendra slipped into a coma after shooting himself in the head. Dipendra was declared King of Nepal while comatose after the death of King Birendra.

Now that's a scenario. Shooting your family, then yourself in the head, and continuing to reign in a comatose state for 15-20 years. Really ups the ante on anti-monarchic sentiments, just behind xyzzzz's wish for a string of 3-day reigns resulting in a year of bank holidays.

This thread is very death metal

The Nepalis abolished the monarchy a few years later.

Gawd bless you sir

I can't stop thinking about #PrinceWilliam right now. His mother died when he was young. His lovely wife has been sick. His father now has Cancer. And now he has to deal with his jealous brother scheming around. Continue to be strong my great future King. #PrinceWilliamIsAKing pic.twitter.com/uGwTCSoSDT

— stormy seas (@BillyDouglass7) February 5, 2024

... the big C indeed.

https://rlv.zcache.co.uk/i_hope_you_die_thank_you_card-rcc70edb1dab349058dba6769cfc9e854_udf2n_492.jpg

I've already sent him a card (with anthrax spores in it)

xxxp re Nepal it was probably thought best to leave it after all that unpleasantness, which in a better world would also be the approach taken with the British monarchy

love the tasteful crop on that pic of wills which carefully elides his upsetting baldness

it doesn't work, because he is spiritually bald