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one year passes...
i am on team "ACAB". it's a radical (though popular) political position - radical politics does get seen as very ideological and uncompromising, and i'm just not that ideologically motivated. i'm politically because it's the position that's most likely to benefit me and the people i care about. i haven't read like the conquest of bread or shit like that, i haven't read marx. i don't see why i'd need to read them, like, i'm living this shit, what the fuck do i care about what karl marx has to say about my material conditions? i pick up some of the jargon from memes and discord chats. i think the memes are funny. i guess some people could see that as superficial but honestly, so many of my most radical positions are just me saying things that seem completely fucking obvious. if someone needs someone to explain to them why capitalism is bad, that's not me. i will explain the most basic shit about my gender identity at length over and over again, but that's mostly because it's my autistic special interest.
what was i saying? right, so when i talk about cops, there is actually a great deal of compromise or i guess what the kids call "nuance" in there. i think some moderates look at "ACAB" people and think we want to guillotine all the cops and let maniacs with chainsaws run riot in the streets. that would make a pretty cool anime but it's not totally the life i want. like the ideas i have about justice and community aren't really compatible with "policing". no, i don't have a better alternative.
people who, in general, benefit from policing - them i can see why they wouldn't want the abolition of police. i mean to them i do have to appeal to some abstract ideal of justice, argue that the current system of "justice" is not equal and not equitable, and that it cannot be _made_ equal and equitable through piecemeal reforms. basically it's a _values-based_ argument.
Agree but the way the oppressive institution exerts its power is through individuals so in real life it's pretty impossible to keep those separate.― Daniel_Rf
sure, if you look at it in an all-or-nothing sense. in practice, it's more complicated than that. i was talking to someone recently... i can't remember who or where. almost certainly a queer person. they were talking about a respected queer community member who did a lot of really good work and who, a long time ago, used to be a cop. they cover that up. in the queer community i'm in, being a cop is possibly worse than being an actual murderer. it's seen as something only Bad People do. and to me, like...
my cousin is a cop and I'm very embarrassed about it. shit happens I guess― Colonel Poo
i mean i've seen memes that say "all cops are bastards, even your cousin" or whatever, and maybe? but i also don't care, it doesn't like, reflect on you as a person that your cousin is doing a Bad Thing. it's like to me it's the principle of _non-identification_. the question is if someone in your life does do something like that, what's the best way to behave in that situation? a queer person i know who i think well of says "i'm thinking of becoming a cop", i don't think it's practical to say "oh well you're a horrible person, why did i ever talk to you?" and some people would do that. i mean it's a decision i'm personally strongly opposed to, but it's their decision. thinking about doing something, talking about doing something, _wanting_ to do something, i mean, to me there's a pretty bright line between that and actually doing it.
this lesbian cop i know. i mean i'm not gonna go out and denounce her to the community as being terrible because she's a cop. i'm going to listen to her, listen to her talk about the hatred she gets, and i'm not gonna tell her that you know what, maybe she deserves that, because what good does it do for me to say that? like yeah i got my beliefs but it's her fucking life. what i am gonna do is i'm gonna not get too close to her. i'm not gonna date a fucking cop! i kinda love, there's actually a whole song in the musical "fiorello!" where one of the characters is agonizing about how terrible it is that she's fallen for a cop. i mean, that's fucking relatable to me.
like the other thing is there's this whole question of what _is_ a cop. professionally, my career involves investigating health insurance fraud.
am i personally violating any of my moral principles by doing my job? nah. what i'm doing personally is good. systemically, is what i'm doing "good"? fuck no. i'm working for a private health insurance company affiliated with a transphobic religious organization. yeah i fucking hate that. professionally, i go to meetings where the FBI are there. i go to conferences and half of the sessions are presented by ex-cops and man i fucking _hate_ that. i've stopped going to those conferences, because i don't fucking want to get my CEUs by listening to some fucking cop. i could quit, i guess. i haven't quit. i'm not fully living my values, my principles, by continuing to work for that company.
i make compromises. i make compromises and i live with the consequences. how do i sleep at night? terribly. awful nightmares. would i sleep better if i quit my job? i doubt it.
― Kate (rushomancy), Sunday, 12 May 2024 21:37 (one week ago) link