Elon Musk

There's no way the Feds would sell SVB to a company that has zero banking experience and would have to start learning their new business by watching some Powerpoints. Elon may not know this, but he knows how to encourage his flatterers.

running a bank is easy, you just tell everyone to work extremely hard and extremely smart, or else

.@ElonMusk jokes about his plan to steal @HardDriveMag memes and post them as his own. pic.twitter.com/6XhIKXVfQe

— The Recount (@therecount) June 14, 2022

i woke up in the middle of the night and had the epiphany that the guy to the right of elon in the backwards baseball hat has big loftus energy. it is... so not gonna happen, bro

Halli, thank you for staying on twitter dot com

Companies and institutions that need to be bailed out by the government when they fail, should be owned by the government.

You can’t privatize the profit and socialize the losses.

— Halli (@iamharaldur) March 10, 2023

Add anti-transgender to the list:

Not when they’re fed propaganda by adults.

Moreover, every child goes through an identity crisis before their personality/identity crystallizes.

Therefore, we shouldn’t allow severe, irreversible surgery or sterilizing drugs that they may regret until at least age 18.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 16, 2023

responding to an account dedicated to making sure that as many people as possible die from covid and puts "slow the spread" in mocking quotation marks

wow, he's pissed he has a trans daughter

also, he started this whole purchasing Twitter fiasco shortly after Grimes dumped him for Chelsea Manning.

i hope he fucking explodes

seriously, who - beyond a swathe of twitter accounts that get off on the taste of boot leather - will miss this shithead when he dies?

I hope he goes to Mars (soon) and livestreams his journey as he steadily fades away, like the death of HAL.

every child goes through an identity crisis before their personality/identity crystallizes.

citation needed

I think he’s referring to watching The Breakfast Club

There’s no way, if he does go to Mars, that he won’t be forced out the airlock before they even arrive.

pr✧✧✧@twit✧✧✧.c✧✧ now auto responds with 💩

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 19, 2023

is he trying to burn his empire down

well, he’s not lying, it did that

I emailed asking whether they’d comment on the fact users’ blocks aren’t maintained if the blocked user is elon musk

I had a notification this morning he’d tweeted some inane garbage. Promptly re-blocked him, we’ll see if it sticks

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fr6-bxWWIA4YsN4?format=jpg&name=medium

oh sir, i love you so

the joke doesn't even work like that, what the fuck is he doing

i'm guessing, but i think he's going for the "this is so obviously not the context for that joke but i said it anyway!" angle, which i remember being very in vogue when i was 10 years old and is deeply unfunny

That's what she said?

but its not funny with "that's what she said", the whole point of that is you can say it a lot of innocuous things

its funny when like people recount their dreams and then say "when I woke up, my pillow was gone"

But it's funny because Hakeem Jeffries says things that girls say.

Assuming blue tick Jeff there is a Twitter Blue subscriber with about 20 followers

jeff curry is VP and head of marketing for a rival EV firm afaict

so he may possibly be being sarcastic?

Twitter needs a sarcasm font

Elon Musk: looking into this

you're talking about knoopdogg373? This guy just retweets crypto shit and replies to Elon

It really is it?! 🤷‍♂️

— Jeff Curry (@knoopdogg373) March 21, 2023

lol it looks like he already lost his blue checkmark? payment decline? insufficient asslicking of King Elon?

He appears to be a desperately thirsty crypto dweeb.

https://twitter.com/knoopdogg373?s=21&t=z1egexpHAtHcPPxgbp4Hrw

The energy of a guy wearing no shoes buying one more lottery scratcher at 4 in the morning.

If you knew anything about Twitter, you would know when you change profile pic. They review account. Blue check will be back in 2 or 3 days 👍

— Jeff Curry (@knoopdogg373) March 23, 2023

no my guy, i am neither famous enough to have legitimately earned a blue check in the olden days, nor a mark enough to pay for one now to have known that changing your profile pic throws it off (which seems really dumb to me and i don't remember seeing that under the old system)

(ftr my snarky response was to his tweet and not your post Mr. President)

Tesla Sells Out of Steering Wheels as Owners Rush to Replace the Yoke https://t.co/MfHGblkllP pic.twitter.com/iotelheUkh

— Jalopnik (@Jalopnik) March 24, 2023

oh god knoopdogg373 is from Montevideo

lol

Elon Musk concedes Twitter is now worth less than half what he paid in email about stock grants, report says https://t.co/QC9sjo0WFX

— Insider Business (@BusinessInsider) March 26, 2023

Musk also told staff he saw a "clear but difficult path" to a $250 billion valuation, Schiffer tweeted.

"clear but difficult path"

visionary

https://i.imgur.com/L8jgaWn.png

the thing we all know about

Musk says Twitter is on the path of an inverse startup. 5/5

— Zoë Schiffer (@ZoeSchiffer) March 25, 2023

Musk innovating in the enddown space.

oops lol

Twitter says its source code was posted online and worked to get it taken down from GitHub on Friday. Now it's trying to unmask the anonymous user behind the leak. Our sources say that the person is a former Twitter employee who left last year. https://t.co/mML5OXkUit

— Ryan Mac 🙃 (@RMac18) March 26, 2023

who "left"

Weird what happens when you fire a few thousand people

pic.twitter.com/ymCxdvWK0Z

— hingo🫡 (@hingo) March 26, 2023

Full Self Driving as they call it. Damage on the front end, driver unconscious. pic.twitter.com/il1ak11ukg

— Joe Sixpack Capital (@Joe6packcapital) March 28, 2023

Lol

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FsUyJT_aMAA7fpB?format=jpg&name=small

Have any cult experts ever weighed in on Tesla?

this is like letter writers trying to win a no-prize from Marvel

xp

this is a pretty breezy take, but yes!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7a586dB2BLYEWTftCO1F7V?si=972592832ebd4909

ha yeah that makes a lot of sense, will listen

my god is this man a loser

Remember when Elon Musk publicly discriminated against a disabled worker and then had to apologize when it turned out firing the worker would cost 100 million dollars? Since then Elon’s been repeatedly making friendly replies to the guy and the guy has never responded. pic.twitter.com/8ZgmR39FEa

— evan (@esjesjesj) April 1, 2023