Elon Musk

Catturd Prime

not everyone saw Catturd's tweets, but everyone that did started a ban

Very nice

I keep wanting to ironically buy catturd merch but I suspect that impulse will never result in anything

Why would you do that? May as well wear an ironic swastika.

the fact that this account is run by a 65 year old really comes through in phrases like "take the algorithms off" lol https://t.co/0drpUya5BP

— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) January 20, 2023

it's so funny to post "engagements are almost down to nothing" on a post with 25,000 likes

— Ed Zitron (@edzitron) January 20, 2023

worth noting that catturd has gained over 600,000 followers since elon became ceo a few months ago (nearly double what they had before). he just loves whining

— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) January 20, 2023

catturd2 knows that when elon replies to him he gets thousands more followers

wait is that guy really 65 lmao

he’s not young!

he owns a registered business that owns property (maybe just his own home) that is “catturd llc” or something like that

just an insanely pathetic guy. I’m a cat owner and I have to admit branding yourself with all cat stuff is insanely beta

Chadturd2

Enjoying the idea of Elon browbeating the remaining employees at Twitter to boost Catturd’s engagement.

for sure

*Trying to make the biggest weirdos on this website think I’m cool*

Uh, the vaccine gave me bad diarrhea. pic.twitter.com/MxGcu5oeok

— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) January 22, 2023

Insane levels of thirst

reasonable point

you know this is a lie because we did not see nonstop tweets from him about it https://t.co/TMPBHLOxrI

— Successfully paid for cube (@Boringstein) January 21, 2023

it is true that wine in a glass can be quite nice

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FnIuvq1akAExhQS?format=jpg&name=small

oh no he’s been burgundy-pilled

Love how alcohol is "a scam" rather than a substance with effects some enjoy and others struggle with

hi I drank this bottle of wine and halfway through the glass offered me a timeshare and the rest of the glass disappeared when i said no

alcohol told me it wanted to sell my art as NFTs but that I would have to pay the gas fee

I prefer to drink wine by sucking on a soaked newspaper.

alcohol told me it wanted to sell my art as NFTs but that I would have to pay the gas fee

― Karl Malone, Monday, January 23, 2023 9:43 AM (ten minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

ha she is actually a crypto person

maybe that woman found out that cheap alcohol gets you just as drunk as the expensive stuff and that’s the scam

I eat one meal and think "i will never be hungry again". Food is a scam.

ok I looked into why she thinks alcohol is a scam and it's even dumber than I could have imagined

do share!! I personally drank some alcohol over the weekend and I can confirm that it definitely gets you drunk!!!

Lol why is this presented as a galaxy brain hot take

Alcohol ads use themes like happiness, prestige, sophistication, success, maturity, athletic ability, creativity, sexual satisfaction to target consumers.

But the misuse of alcohol actually diminishes and ultimately destroys these qualities if you drink enough.

— Nicole Behnam (@NicoleBehnam) January 20, 2023

she then later tweets that she has "fallen for this scam before"

I'm picturing her seeing a very sexy ad for tequila and then drinking like two whole bottles

u fucking barbarians it’s about BEAUTY IN A GLASS. aesthetes know

drinking a case of dos equis to become the world's most interesting woman

once u see red wine in a fine _ass_ that seems beautiful too.then the scam is clear. now u are stuck in a steely dan song. probably w don and glen. in hell. how u gonna unscam now?

lol @ this 'mind blowing' tweet

Pay attention

— Nicole Behnam (@NicoleBehnam) January 20, 2023

👀👀👀

— Nicole Behnam (@NicoleBehnam) January 23, 2023

i have to assume those eyes are on maricopa

so funny this is all based on the Dilbert guy taking a Rasmussen poll and going "how shall we interpret this?" as though these "serious side effects" don't coincidentally only affect conservatives in America

these tweets completed a 9th grade health class assignment

this tweet drinks Coors Cutter.

That alcohol scam tweet reads like something you'd post after waking up in the bushes in an unfamiliar neighborhood

"No, honey, for the fifth time, I didn't cheat on you. I was intentionally scammed by that bottle of vodka!"

I, too, have fallen for this scam

elon admitting to price manipulation in court

This came right after Musk admitted, almost casually, that he thought investors would rely on his tweet in their decisions to buy and/or sell Tesla stock. https://t.co/TVA4cx209B

— E.W. Niedermeyer (@Tweetermeyer) January 23, 2023

You know I missed the marketing where alcohol enhances your athletic ability. Maybe a sport like driving donuts?

nah dude, alcohol made me a track and field champion. after a fifth of vodka before my 100m race, I lurched into my opponent's lane, stepped on his foot and broke it so he had to drop out

i feel like babe ruth drank a lot and didn't seem to hurt him on the field or with the ladies

it hurt when he drove cars into trees, which he did often during his lowest point

cars drive themselves now

into trees even

This has come up a bunch in testimony, so it's worth spelling it out: Musk seems to believe that the fact that he once tweeted that Tesla stock price was too high but it immediately went higher absolves him of any subsequent attempt to manipulate the stock price by tweet. https://t.co/K0bsyHigzL

— E.W. Niedermeyer (@Tweetermeyer) January 23, 2023

legal genius

feel like i followed niedermeyer an age ago but checking his TL says i didn't

or that elon pressed the the big red button that makes me unfollow his foes w/o me knowing

lol re-following is already paying dividends, further down this thread he links to a story in nme.com!

wow shameless. i hope the sec fines him one million dollars

just literally using the Trump playbook of saying all kinds of shit so that no one can pin you down on any one thing