Elon Musk

Elon's just gonna sell the sink he brought into Twitter, some fanboy will pay 1 billion for it cos he touched it

it'd be really funny if 50% of the revenue was the weird dudes who pay to promote their own incoherent tweets

someone should get steve cohen into the twitter memorabilia scene

Elon's just gonna sell the sink he brought into Twitter, some fanboy will pay 1 billion for it cos he touched it

2 billion if he jacks off into it.

Fidelity, which owns a stake in the social media platform through a listed fund, has cut the value of its holding from $19.7mn in October to $8.6mn after Musk closed the deal.

lmao

lol

Seeing a lot of crying from the people that insisted Elon “fixed” Twitter. pic.twitter.com/iBihVKn5rp

— pokey pup (@Whatapityonyou) January 18, 2023

they will never learn that most people don't care about their shitty opinions

and people really dont care about their whining about engagement

Don't know how it hasn't gone more noticed over the years, but the guy in this video that Elon tweeted out to show the safety features of Tesla autopilot...? He died in a Tesla autopilot accident two months later.https://t.co/JUJriy3YOf

— extremely pleasant mail delivery guy (@dumbmailguy) January 18, 2023

his final words were "so thrilled...this will...help improve...self-driving...next patch"

Best…car…I…ever…had…

“He had said, ‘For something to catch Elon Musk’s eye, I can die and go to heaven now,’” said a neighbor, Krista Kitchen, choking up. “He was absolutely thrilled – and then a couple weeks later he died.”

https://t.co/1BWwPHIzR0

— extremely pleasant mail delivery guy (@dumbmailguy) January 18, 2023

Mind detergent and soul rot, from the top to the bottom.

genuinely think some of these ppl should go to church they'd be better off

worth a shot

lol why

NEW: https://t.co/9ameptuFXR

— Dana "Legacy Blue Checkmark" Hull 👩🏻‍💻 (@danahull) January 19, 2023

haters will say its photoshop

- elon

interesting

knives comin out

i'm pretty sure some undercredited production person directed the fuck out of the video while elon executive produced and called himself director

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fm8PZZgXgBAwIFs?format=jpg&name=large

This is the world we live in
And these are the stans we're given

gosh, I hope Elon saves Catturd

'take the algorithms off'

this is probably why the desktop site has started defaulting to "for you" every time, gotta get that catturd engagement up

Fortunately, catturd is not "for me." (Yet. I'm sure if he whines enough Elon will set it up so everyone is auto-following both himself and catturd.)

Fortunately Catturd 1 is okay

Catturd Prime

not everyone saw Catturd's tweets, but everyone that did started a ban

Very nice

I keep wanting to ironically buy catturd merch but I suspect that impulse will never result in anything

Why would you do that? May as well wear an ironic swastika.

the fact that this account is run by a 65 year old really comes through in phrases like "take the algorithms off" lol https://t.co/0drpUya5BP

— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) January 20, 2023

it's so funny to post "engagements are almost down to nothing" on a post with 25,000 likes

— Ed Zitron (@edzitron) January 20, 2023

worth noting that catturd has gained over 600,000 followers since elon became ceo a few months ago (nearly double what they had before). he just loves whining

— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) January 20, 2023

catturd2 knows that when elon replies to him he gets thousands more followers

wait is that guy really 65 lmao

he’s not young!

he owns a registered business that owns property (maybe just his own home) that is “catturd llc” or something like that

just an insanely pathetic guy. I’m a cat owner and I have to admit branding yourself with all cat stuff is insanely beta

Chadturd2

Enjoying the idea of Elon browbeating the remaining employees at Twitter to boost Catturd’s engagement.

for sure

*Trying to make the biggest weirdos on this website think I’m cool*

Uh, the vaccine gave me bad diarrhea. pic.twitter.com/MxGcu5oeok

— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) January 22, 2023

Insane levels of thirst

reasonable point

you know this is a lie because we did not see nonstop tweets from him about it https://t.co/TMPBHLOxrI

— Successfully paid for cube (@Boringstein) January 21, 2023

it is true that wine in a glass can be quite nice

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FnIuvq1akAExhQS?format=jpg&name=small

oh no he’s been burgundy-pilled

Love how alcohol is "a scam" rather than a substance with effects some enjoy and others struggle with

hi I drank this bottle of wine and halfway through the glass offered me a timeshare and the rest of the glass disappeared when i said no

alcohol told me it wanted to sell my art as NFTs but that I would have to pay the gas fee

I prefer to drink wine by sucking on a soaked newspaper.

alcohol told me it wanted to sell my art as NFTs but that I would have to pay the gas fee

― Karl Malone, Monday, January 23, 2023 9:43 AM (ten minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

ha she is actually a crypto person

maybe that woman found out that cheap alcohol gets you just as drunk as the expensive stuff and that’s the scam

I eat one meal and think "i will never be hungry again". Food is a scam.

ok I looked into why she thinks alcohol is a scam and it's even dumber than I could have imagined