U.S. Politics January 2023: Kevin McCarthy's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Life

We must imagine Kevin McCarthy happy.

For the first time ever I agree with Charlie Kirk, we NEED Trump in D.C., on the ground, making it happen.

Trump needs to fly to DC today and begin brokering a deal. He gave us Middle East peace, fixed NAFTA, and forced NATO allies to pay. Pro-MAGA Reps are the key to the deal. He could negotiate this mess in 2 hours. Would massively boost his stock across the party right now.

— Charlie Kirk (@charliekirk11) January 4, 2023

charlie kirk is such a pathetic bastard

We must imagine Kevin McCarthy happy.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra)

https://i.imgur.com/yB8llzA.gif

trump has betrayed most members of his party at some point, and there is a 100.0% chance that he'll stab charlie kirk in the back in the future. that is going to be great, though

god please let that happen, please please let trump show up

He could pivot to a career doing Noxema commercials

Question: are McCarthy’s concessions binding to anyone else or just him?

― castanuts (DJP), Thursday, January 5, 2023 11:54 AM (thirty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I’ve been wondering this.

He gave us Middle East peace

yeah, things are pretty darn quiet in East Jerusalem these days

re: McCarthy's concessions - aren't they basically the equivalent of campaign promises? vote for me and i'll be Speaker under these terms, AND i'll make sure the cafeteria serves pizza everyday! i don't think they'd be binding to anybody else, but it may be that others find the caucus forcing them stoop to the same pathetic floor, now that it's been established.

Trump is now the first person to be impeached twice, lose the presidency and finish 4th in a Speaker of the House vote. Another historic distinction for him!

Xp: Are they even binding on him?

there is no chance we have a speaker by the weekend

i don't even think this amp is working

I suspect, to my horror, that there may well be some Frankenstein coalition created from this impasse, an abhorrent manifestation of House rule that America has never witnessed and the American people have never authorized.

— Rep. Clay Higgins (@RepClayHiggins) January 4, 2023

oh goody!

and on that day, Higgins discovered politicians from differing parties collaborating to work together on things. He saw this, and he called it "bipartisanship".

And he saw that it was bad. and then he farted.

Are they even binding on him?

Theoretically, no. But as a matter of political pragmatism, yes. As for binding any other candidate for speaker, not binding. The alternative candidate is free to cut their own deals for the votes they need to win.

https://i.imgur.com/yB8llzA.gif

Just realised who McCarthy reminds me of - the dumb normie guy who Steve Martin's Cyrano-esque character seduces Daryl Hannah for in Roxanne.

historically hilarious photo. putting it here for posterity.

https://i.imgur.com/HlDyeak.png

aoc with the vintage "problem?" face there is just *chef's kiss*

lol at thinking Trump successfully negotiated anything while in office

https://i.ibb.co/PTqyKMY/e7dd76d0-c883-494b-ae1d-bc58d050318c.jpg

who is this joker nominating Donalds this time around?

"i believe if you want to make change...you have to make change"

Change you can believe in!

xxpost Love AOC in the back of that photo... obv enjoying herself

mccarthy is pretty good at not making That Facial Expression. he makes a lot of other ones, but he keeps the edges of his mouth from turning downward

It's a face I would call the 'before' to goatse's 'after'

Just how many times does McCarthy need to beg for a belly rub from the Freedom Caucus by giving in to every single demand they can dream up, before he so completely disgusts a half dozen Republican reps from districts which aren't heavily gerrymandered in their favor that they bolt to make their own deal with Jefferies?

Rep. Hern, who got Boebert and someone else's out-of-pocket vote this go-around, has a very mysterious and isolated deet in his wiki bio:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FluzOOTWYBE8qiS?format=jpg&name=large

i read that clay higgins tweet in benoit blanc's voice

Unfortunately Kevin Hern's McDonalds also couldn't get 7-Up

that detail in the wikipedia entry just caused a true LMAO for me. i mean the challenger disaster hit us all hard, but

McCarthy has lost for the 8th time

Hern votes for McCarthy.

where did the Boebert nom even come from? did she talk to him? was she just craving mcdonalds?

can't wait for Woody Harrelson to play McCarthy in the Adam McKay Netflix movie about this

past few days pic.twitter.com/Bd9ua6I6Qo

— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) January 5, 2023

Crazy that he keeps making concessions without any actual negotiations happening or any deals being made in return for those concessions. He's an idiot.

the SNL skit about this is going to be really boring

GOP 2021: fuck democracy
GOP 2023: hey, give us a break, democracy is messy

CNN at it again with their doofery:

Some members are voting for Rep. Kevin Hern, chair of the Republican Study Committee.

He supports Rep. Kevin McCarthy but CNN has heard his name is picking up steam among conservatives.

It is unclear if he, or anyone, could earn a winning number of votes this round.

He has three votes, there are 209 votes left, and the threshold if one person votes 'present' is 217, what's 'unclear' about that.

Crazy that he keeps making concessions without any actual negotiations happening or any deals being made in return for those concessions. He's an idiot.

― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Thursday, January 5, 2023 2:25 PM bookmarkflaglink

it really is a "dance, McFly, dance!" scenario

Asked why it’s been so hard for him, McCarthy said: “I think it’s great. If you think it’s so hard, when it comes, I want to see what you write.”

Asked by CNN at what point will he make a realization that the outcome won’t change, McCarthy said: “After I win.”

can we just start with the 20 obstructionists and that way we know whether we can abort the vote

Ceding the limelight to them even more is a profoundly terrible idea

what limelight, only sadists are watching this

and don't forget the masochists!

I admit it would keep them away from Fox News cameras for awhile

this is a game of chicken where everybody hopes both people die

I know the Dems are a party and the GOP a pathology, but, really, Pelosi's achievement at holding her people together looks more remarkable every hour.

I nominate King Arthur, who slept straight through WW2 and is ready to lead through this crisis