Burn, Nic Cage, Burn!

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Puritanism gets a bad rap. The puritans were tops at producing
hardworking farmers and tenacious warriors, the most valuable resources for any budding society.

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 22:18 (nineteen years ago)

TS:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000068IET.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
VS.
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00009PY3X.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― literalisp (literalisp), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 01:58 (nineteen years ago)

pretty much. this country was founded by Puritans you know. There is no history of paganism in the US like there is in Europe. the closest we come is highly diluted rituals/motifs imported from Africa and the Caribbean.

-- Shakey Mo Collier (audiobo...), September 5th, 2006.

that is the most brainless thing you'ever written

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 02:39 (nineteen years ago)

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/466237/2/istockphoto_466237_ancient_spirits_totem_pole_1.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 02:42 (nineteen years ago)

Hello? Hello! Anybody home? We've been talking strictly about WHITE paganism for this whole thread. I think that's perfectly clear from the context of the discussion (the american remake of _The Wicker Man_).

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 02:58 (nineteen years ago)

Although I have to say, northwestern totemic art can be quite creepy and alien. I'd love to see it exploited in a horror movie, maybe a family of Russian missionaries gets kidnapped in the 1880's? Too unPC to fly, though.

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 03:00 (nineteen years ago)

Interesting review by a modern pagan with a good understanding of the history of the film here: http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=usma&c=media&id=11130

― spectra (spectra), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 04:04 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't seen the remake (or any of the director's previous films) but it sounds like the bee thing is used in as a misogynistic analogy - female domination

― spectra (spectra), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 04:10 (nineteen years ago)

A lot of what goes on in the original Wicker Man is alive and kicking in the Basque Country, such as the hobby horse man. So it's far-fecthed, but not too far-fetched. I will look for evidence.

I liked Nurse Betty very much for some reason.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 06:12 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, it was good.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 06:18 (nineteen years ago)

It would have been improved by having Greg Kinnear burned alive in a big wicker man at the end though.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 06:22 (nineteen years ago)

Or Roy Kinnear, one of the two.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 06:23 (nineteen years ago)

Begira!

http://www.buber.net/Basque/PhotoAlbum/index.php?spgmGal=Events/Others&spgmPic=0&spgmFilters=t

http://www.buber.net/Basque/PhotoAlbum/index.php?spgmGal=Events/Others&spgmPic=1&spgmFilters=t

You is up early, Nick.

I rthought you meant Roy Kinnear first time. What wouldn't be improved by Roy Kinnear though?

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 06:24 (nineteen years ago)

Is that you in any of the pictures, Peter?

I'm up early to have some stiches taken out and collect an LP from the sorting office before I go to work, which would be improved by Roy Kinnear.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 06:27 (nineteen years ago)

was the pagan content of this:

1) better
2) worse
3) the same as, only, like, more

the wicca/goth chicks in Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows?

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 06:29 (nineteen years ago)

The sword thing:

http://static.flickr.com/68/162207274_8bb7d5f28e_m.jpg

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 06:42 (nineteen years ago)

Pretty picture:

http://static.flickr.com/57/170515397_b86b080bd3_m.jpg

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 06:43 (nineteen years ago)

y'know, i was sorta not beliving the "nicky coppola punches chicks" thing posted above, but the onion av club says:

Lacking the religious conflict to give his story a focus, writer-director LaBute coats the proceedings in his usual dreary misogyny, recasting Summerisle as a colony of evil, manipulative shrews. But even the spectacle of Cage running around the island punching women full in the face and screaming "Bitches!" isn't as problematic as Wicker Man's gigantic plot holes, interminable empty dialogue, cheap shocks, and uneven stabs at tension.

― GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 07:54 (nineteen years ago)

http://static.flickr.com/91/235850371_bac4e24b2c_o.jpg

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 09:21 (nineteen years ago)

incidentally the johnny ramone thing was kinda the best punchline ever. i finally lost it at that point and totally cracked up.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

LAFF A MINUTE ROMP. In flashbacks every 10 minutes, a little girl gets hit by a truck repeatedly. Nic Cage punches a bitch to steal her bear costume, and then punches many more bitches while wearing that bear costume. Ellen Burstyn wears Braveheart make-up. Molly Parker is foxy and beguiling in a totally stupid way; Nic Cage steals her bike at gunpoint anyway. Leelee Sobieski has a little red mouth that does all her acting for her, and in the final scene begins to seduce James Franco, setting up what is sure to be WICKER MAN 2: THE WICKERING.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 12:31 (nineteen years ago)

how bout those blind twins

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

I wanted this to be a Ghost Rider thread.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 12:39 (nineteen years ago)

I hafta go see this drunk. This is becoming increasingly clear.

― Major Alfonso (Major Alfonso), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 12:40 (nineteen years ago)

have fun watching a boring movie drunk!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

Whoa shakey's nonsensical posts make me want to LIKE this movie.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

Also: still dying over concept of Nick Cage running around in a bear costume punching ladies and screaming "BITCHES"

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

That sounds like the basis for an Aqua Teen full-length.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

I watched Final Destination 2 in a similar state. You need a big group of loser friends, some of whom may vomit in the theatre and ideally it ought to be Valentines Day!

Life's never boring when you're drunk.

― Major Alfonso (Major Alfonso), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

yeah but the final destination movies are awesome!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

You say my problem is I don't remember...

― Major Alfonso (Major Alfonso), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

You *see my problem is...

answers on a postcard

― Major Alfonso (Major Alfonso), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

I'm kind of happy to hear this is awful. A mediocre remake is the ultimate insult.

Sounds like it has the makings of a good drinking game, though. Cage furrows brow, take a drink. Cage hits a chick, take a drink.

― Edward III (edward iii), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

should be done in the theatre though.

Also stripping ought to be involved somehow, as in all good things in life.

― Major Alfonso (Major Alfonso), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

*drink every time there is a bee onscreen (this will keep you chugging)
*drink every time Cage says "I'm a police officer" or similar
*drink every time Cage says "A little girl is missing" or similar
*drink every time little girl is hit by truck
*two drinks every time blind crone twins appear
*finish drink every time Cage punches a bitch

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't seen the remake (or any of the director's previous films) but it sounds like the bee thing is used in as a misogynistic analogy - female domination

I'm not sure if it would be a spoiler to post what the women are chanting at the end, but that's exactly how it came across.

My favourite lines from the film -

Nick Cage: Blah blah something dead.
Teacher: We try not to use the word "dead" in front of the children
Nick Cage: I suppose you think that incredibly quixotic of me.
Teacher: Yes.

The Braveheart makeup was funny too, almost like the producers had been a room trying to think of all the Scottish/paegan things they could think of off the tops of their heads, and then just used that stuff.

― Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Friday, 8 September 2006 22:41 (nineteen years ago)

three months pass...

one of the funniest films i have ever seen--Nic Cage in a bear suit!

i think the first moment i just burst out laughing uncontrollably was when Cage threatens the chick in a bird mask with his gun--then takes her bicycle.

FOR JOHNNY RAMONE

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 6 January 2007 08:37 (nineteen years ago)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo

― Go, GO, GO!!! (Go!), Sunday, 7 January 2007 23:22 (nineteen years ago)

omg

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 7 January 2007 23:30 (nineteen years ago)

MY EYES! AAARGH!!!

― ledge (ledge), Sunday, 7 January 2007 23:32 (nineteen years ago)

NOT THE BEES!! NOT THE BEES!!

Funiest thing I've seen all year.

― chap (chap), Sunday, 7 January 2007 23:51 (nineteen years ago)

And Ghost Rider is around the corner!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 7 January 2007 23:53 (nineteen years ago)

how can anyone think labute wasn't intending this to be funny?

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 7 January 2007 23:54 (nineteen years ago)

neil labute:

"How could I also make a movie that’s scary, you know, or at least creepy, during the daytime? How could I make that interesting? Those elements remained, but the way in which that character’s connected to the island - the patriarchy, which I have kind of turned into a matriarchy - all of those things are ways in which I saw to reimagine that material. To talk about something that was outside of the kind of really Christian versus Pagan-type deal of the first film and look at something that I had been working on a lot in my own writing: the idea of gender politics which are certainly, arguably, have been around as long if not longer than the concerns of the first movie.”

― ‘•’u (gear), Sunday, 7 January 2007 23:57 (nineteen years ago)

oh man, he was clueless wasn't he...

not the bees-- not the bees!

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 7 January 2007 23:59 (nineteen years ago)

well, this is labute we're talking about...

― zombierza (tehresa), Monday, 8 January 2007 00:01 (nineteen years ago)

i'm always wary of the "he meant for this to be some goofy-ass bullshit" argument, and I'm a big DePalma-Boorman fan.

― Zwan (miccio), Monday, 8 January 2007 01:14 (nineteen years ago)

OK the punching in the bear suit is pretty great. Also: WHY IS IT BURNED? WHY IS IT BURNED? WHY? WHY?!

― Allyzay Eisenschefter Pop You To The Extreme (allyzay), Monday, 8 January 2007 01:54 (nineteen years ago)

STEP AWAY FROM THE BIKE

I might have to rent this now.

― Beth S. (Ex Leon), Monday, 8 January 2007 02:33 (nineteen years ago)

ottersome. and i dig the original.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Monday, 8 January 2007 02:34 (nineteen years ago)

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